Impending Relapse!?
Hooligan
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Snowy North-Eastern U.S.
Posts: 321
Originally Posted by ZZworldontheweb 
"i know better than anyone why i would drink, and it is strictly for the buzz/to get messed up.
Assuming this is true, assuming everything else in your life is totally fine and you're OK with the world and everything in it, and the only reason you want to drink is just to party a little bit and have some recreation, then this does NOT square with your other statement that "alcohol ruined your life". Nobody obsesses over something to the point that it ruins their lives unless there is something else going on inside.
Assuming this is true, assuming everything else in your life is totally fine and you're OK with the world and everything in it, and the only reason you want to drink is just to party a little bit and have some recreation, then this does NOT square with your other statement that "alcohol ruined your life". Nobody obsesses over something to the point that it ruins their lives unless there is something else going on inside.
You really need to figure out where you are on this, and take action. This could mean moving into town to be closer to AA meetings. Or calling the local (long distance if necessary) AA hot line to get somebody to talk to.
How do you get to work? If you're not working, how do you get money to buy booze?
Honestly you are not adding anything to this discussion, and are very close to being thrown on my ignore list. Everyone else's posts where helpful and informative yet you come off as arrogant. You do not know me, you do not know why i choose to drink (even though you assume it is to hide from problems, which is not the case), and you are making assumptions.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Ireland
Posts: 1,641
I want to scream, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
You must shut down this conversation in your head!
If someone sat down and wanted to plan to murder twenty schoolchildren in your neighbourhood, you would say, "Get the hell out of my face! You Freak! What the hell do you think I am?! I would not do that! Why are you still here Freak? Scram!!!!"
That is how you have to react to this horrible little pr!$% addictive voice.
Not open for discussion buddy!
Move along!
You are no friend of mine!
Really! That was the last thing I learned. Try a support group. Even phone up someone who cares about you and tell them where you are at. Do not get into how you are thinking, Remember, you want to CHANGE the thinking.
Best of luck and hold onto the 150 days. Don't be a sucker for that addiction voice. 150 days! 150 days!
You must shut down this conversation in your head!
If someone sat down and wanted to plan to murder twenty schoolchildren in your neighbourhood, you would say, "Get the hell out of my face! You Freak! What the hell do you think I am?! I would not do that! Why are you still here Freak? Scram!!!!"
That is how you have to react to this horrible little pr!$% addictive voice.
Not open for discussion buddy!
Move along!
You are no friend of mine!
Really! That was the last thing I learned. Try a support group. Even phone up someone who cares about you and tell them where you are at. Do not get into how you are thinking, Remember, you want to CHANGE the thinking.
Best of luck and hold onto the 150 days. Don't be a sucker for that addiction voice. 150 days! 150 days!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: the high desert
Posts: 887
Well, Its, we have sort of talked about this in chat. . .not sure what more to tell you. I think you really need to look at why you want to get messed up/buzzed. What are you wanting to escape? Cuz that is what it is. . .
And honestly, there is nothing wrong with doing that, in general. But you are an alcoholic, so you can't. So you have to learn to deal with it and find other things to do. Only you can find your answers.
But you are reaching out, you are coming into chat, so you are finding your way, and you have not stopped at the store and you have not bought anything. Be proud of that.
And honestly, there is nothing wrong with doing that, in general. But you are an alcoholic, so you can't. So you have to learn to deal with it and find other things to do. Only you can find your answers.
But you are reaching out, you are coming into chat, so you are finding your way, and you have not stopped at the store and you have not bought anything. Be proud of that.
Eating protein and life.
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Just. Plain. Grateful.
Posts: 503
Yo 23,
It's good to hear from you and I'm glad you posted this. I was dealing with the same thing last week and felt as if the bottle being in my hand was just a matter of time. Typically, I'd sleep on it and be fine the next day but as you mentioned it got worse not better.
I'm glad neither of us picked up.
It's good to hear from you and I'm glad you posted this. I was dealing with the same thing last week and felt as if the bottle being in my hand was just a matter of time. Typically, I'd sleep on it and be fine the next day but as you mentioned it got worse not better.
I'm glad neither of us picked up.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 1,591
ItsMe, a lot of people here have talked about making changes as a necessary method to stay on track. You say that you don't have a way of getting to a meeting, but what do you do to get around for other reasons? Some people say that even going a different way home amounts to some kind of good for them. Are you adding things to do like it's a job (whether you want to do them or not)? I don't want to be beotchy, but I come to this site whether I want to or not. I see it as something I should just do. If AA is out of the question, maybe you should find something that is going to cut it for you.
When it comes to acceptance and how staying away from it only lasts a certain length of time, I don't know how to get your mind out of that wavelength. It's not as EASY as looking at the reasons you stopped drinking in the first place, but it's as SIMPLE as that. You know better than all of us why you should not be drinking when you look at it that way.
When it comes to acceptance and how staying away from it only lasts a certain length of time, I don't know how to get your mind out of that wavelength. It's not as EASY as looking at the reasons you stopped drinking in the first place, but it's as SIMPLE as that. You know better than all of us why you should not be drinking when you look at it that way.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Mckinleyville ca
Posts: 33
i have relapsed exactly as you are describing numerous times in the last couple of years. after i go a long period w/ out drink something just snaps. it's like all logic goes out the window. the mind won't think properly. the depression just gets so overwhelming and the thought of beer so overpowering that to give in starts to feel like the only choice. it just builds and builds like a large wave until you give in.
well the one thing i would like to add is that every time i have given in, my resulting binge was always hell.....and i was always a worse alcoholic than before. i would go on such a bender after i broke that recovery would be a long, long time away before i could even think about stopping. and my life becomes a living hell much worse and more drinks than ever.
i'm only on day 3 again but i'm saving this thread so i can read my own words to stop myself from doing what you are thinking about doing. no amount of wanting is worth it. it might take a couple of weeks but the urge will pass and life will get better. but w/ drink the hell will return.
well the one thing i would like to add is that every time i have given in, my resulting binge was always hell.....and i was always a worse alcoholic than before. i would go on such a bender after i broke that recovery would be a long, long time away before i could even think about stopping. and my life becomes a living hell much worse and more drinks than ever.
i'm only on day 3 again but i'm saving this thread so i can read my own words to stop myself from doing what you are thinking about doing. no amount of wanting is worth it. it might take a couple of weeks but the urge will pass and life will get better. but w/ drink the hell will return.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
ItsMe23...
no one is trying to make you do anything....we are all here
trying to figure out different ways to assist you.
Take some of our suggestions and experiences ..if you wish.
Yes...ignore others if you want.
The real deal is you are having difficulties and everyone is
trying their best to give you various solutions.
Have you tried anyone's ideas yet?
I did not mention AA to you in my first reply.
Relax ...AA is not running a membership drive ..never has...
and we all know it's not the only way to stay quit.
You did share it was impossible to get to that meeting 10 miles away.
You did not say you were disinterested.
I don't try to convince anyone about AA....tho I am a grateful member...
no one is trying to make you do anything....we are all here
trying to figure out different ways to assist you.
Take some of our suggestions and experiences ..if you wish.
Yes...ignore others if you want.
The real deal is you are having difficulties and everyone is
trying their best to give you various solutions.
Have you tried anyone's ideas yet?
I did not mention AA to you in my first reply.
Relax ...AA is not running a membership drive ..never has...
and we all know it's not the only way to stay quit.
You did share it was impossible to get to that meeting 10 miles away.
You did not say you were disinterested.
I don't try to convince anyone about AA....tho I am a grateful member...
Last edited by CarolD; 02-14-2011 at 10:11 AM.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Merritt Island, Fl
Posts: 1,164
Originally Posted by CarolD
Relax ...AA is not running a membership drive ..never has...
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 107
These moments have happened/continue to happen with me every so often. I have been sober for almost ten months now and I find they get less and less severe each time. You are still very young in recovery (as am I), and for me at least, I find it helpful to really try to calm down and look at these cravings rationaly and square in the face.
I also try to belittle them in my mind as much as possible. They are just a bunch of f-ing cravings anyway, it's your mind going haywire and it's looking for a cure and it's telling you to go to the store and buy that cure because that's all it knows. It is a powerful feeling, but it's just that, a feeling. It's a little thing, not a wasted hungover morning or a wrecked car or a failing liver. Oh, and it's slowly dying.
I also try to belittle them in my mind as much as possible. They are just a bunch of f-ing cravings anyway, it's your mind going haywire and it's looking for a cure and it's telling you to go to the store and buy that cure because that's all it knows. It is a powerful feeling, but it's just that, a feeling. It's a little thing, not a wasted hungover morning or a wrecked car or a failing liver. Oh, and it's slowly dying.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Great Outdoors
Posts: 1,992
"I don't want to be beotchy, but I come to this site whether I want to or not. I see it as something I should just do." (from Toronto)
Call me a sick puppy..but I am addicted to this site. Who wouldn't wanna come here? The only thing that we all need to do is push the ignore button more. How do I know this? I get stuff deleted each month..I need to think before I speak. Odds of that happening are slim to none (woulda happened by now) but I am working on it. I am not an AAer. But I imagine when you are that passionate about something that works for you ..you are going to mention it. I happen to be passionate and forever grateful to SR. Stay with us 23!!! I bet you will ride it out and never know what triggered this crave.
Call me a sick puppy..but I am addicted to this site. Who wouldn't wanna come here? The only thing that we all need to do is push the ignore button more. How do I know this? I get stuff deleted each month..I need to think before I speak. Odds of that happening are slim to none (woulda happened by now) but I am working on it. I am not an AAer. But I imagine when you are that passionate about something that works for you ..you are going to mention it. I happen to be passionate and forever grateful to SR. Stay with us 23!!! I bet you will ride it out and never know what triggered this crave.
Last edited by MsCooterBrown; 02-14-2011 at 01:32 PM. Reason: avoiding a delete...
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 432
Dude, if you can stay sober by just typing a few words on a chat board, more power to you. Maybe you're the one person in ten thousand who can do it essentially alone. Or maybe you're not really hooked, maybe you've just made some bad decisions. Time will tell.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,438
actually ZZ...I get what you're saying and generally I agree: you can't trust 'just hanging on' or getting through as a coping mechanism...recovery needs action IMO.
but dude...there's a few of us for whom 'typing a few words on a chat board' is a pretty darn significant part of our recovery.
Don't knock it LOL.
D
but dude...there's a few of us for whom 'typing a few words on a chat board' is a pretty darn significant part of our recovery.
Don't knock it LOL.
D
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 107
Originally Posted by ZZworldontheweb
Dude, if you can stay sober by just typing a few words on a chat board, more power to you. Maybe you're the one person in ten thousand who can do it essentially alone. Or maybe you're not really hooked, maybe you've just made some bad decisions. Time will tell.
Hooligan
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Snowy North-Eastern U.S.
Posts: 321
Wow, thanks for all the replies i never thought this thread would get so huge. Either way I am okay, i pushed through it like i said. No more urges no more want, i just have to always remember that it is just not an option for me.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,907
I bathe myself in chicken blood and then dance in the cooling light of a blue moon while listening to the Super Mario Bros theme, it only works though if your a "real" alcoholic...
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Originally Posted by suki44883
I bathe myself in chicken blood and then dance in the cooling light of a blue moon while listening to the Super Mario Bros theme, it only works though if your a "real" alcoholic...
23...glad you are doing better. The thread got big because there is nothing we hate seeing more than relapse and if we can ever help in any way by posting we will...at least that is what I have seen
Xoxo, LaFemme
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 106
Originally Posted by Dee74
but dude...there's a few of us for whom 'typing a few words on a chat board' is a pretty darn significant part of our recovery.
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