Getting Back Up
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Northern Utah
Posts: 920
Getting Back Up
I am not changing my user name, even though this is another return to the forum with my tail between my legs. Yep, I jumped off the wagon (no falling here, except when I was drunk and fell off the couch). There is part of me that feels so crummy that I didn't want to come back and when I decided to do so (after receiving a private message from a concerned SR traveler) I really wanted to come up with a new user name/identity.
I had a serious couple of binges in the last two weeks. Ick. I feel disgusted when I think about it. But I came through, got to a doctor, admitted my weakness, and am back here. And got to a meeting last night in spite of my fears of seeing people who will know me from my semi-public position at work. It was a group I hadn't checked out. There were 6 of us. Unlike some of my other AA experiences in this town, there was a woman who made a point of greeting me and spending some time talking to me after the meeting. Previously, I'd encountered women who didn't talk to me and lots of very helpful (seemingly not 13th stepping) men. But as a woman, I need a woman to talk to!
Time to go get ready for church. Then off to the office where I can make up for some of my sick time from last week.
Lilac
I had a serious couple of binges in the last two weeks. Ick. I feel disgusted when I think about it. But I came through, got to a doctor, admitted my weakness, and am back here. And got to a meeting last night in spite of my fears of seeing people who will know me from my semi-public position at work. It was a group I hadn't checked out. There were 6 of us. Unlike some of my other AA experiences in this town, there was a woman who made a point of greeting me and spending some time talking to me after the meeting. Previously, I'd encountered women who didn't talk to me and lots of very helpful (seemingly not 13th stepping) men. But as a woman, I need a woman to talk to!
Time to go get ready for church. Then off to the office where I can make up for some of my sick time from last week.
Lilac
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Toronto
Posts: 279
The Most Important Thing Is Your Recovery
So try not to worry about what everyone else thinks. That aside its standard knowledge in recovery circles that it may take a few tries to achieve long term sobriety. Even a relapse is an opportunity for learning. Just try to figure out why you relapsed and then come up with a plan to deal with it the next time that situation arises.
Dont give up
Dont give up
Been there, done that myself... I'm glad you're not giving up.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
You should feel proud of yourself - it takes courage to get back up and you're showing others it can be done - Bravo!
Be patient with yourself, stay in today, and take advantage of all the help out there. Hope you find some great women in AA for support.
Be patient with yourself, stay in today, and take advantage of all the help out there. Hope you find some great women in AA for support.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Poconos PA
Posts: 1,544
Seeing so many of us here fall but get back up actually gives me strength to continue sobriety so Thank You.
You are certainly not alone, the last few times I slipped I was always ashamed to come back here feeling like a failure. Then, I keep seeing so many familiar names come back in here owning up to falling off the wagon and I don't feel so alone.
It's how we all keep trying is what matters in the end. Glad to see you back at it.
You are certainly not alone, the last few times I slipped I was always ashamed to come back here feeling like a failure. Then, I keep seeing so many familiar names come back in here owning up to falling off the wagon and I don't feel so alone.
It's how we all keep trying is what matters in the end. Glad to see you back at it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Northern Utah
Posts: 920
Thank you everyone. Just got to the office after going to church. I am quite good at (eventually) getting up after a fall. Staying up seems to be the big challenge. But it is nice to know that I am not alone.
Now to figure out how to be in two places at once this Friday! Okay, it can't be done. But I can prepare all the background for the files and *gasp* ask my boss to have someone cover one of my dockets. Ask for help? Me? This is HUGE...
Now to figure out how to be in two places at once this Friday! Okay, it can't be done. But I can prepare all the background for the files and *gasp* ask my boss to have someone cover one of my dockets. Ask for help? Me? This is HUGE...
New to Real Life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: I come in Peaces
Posts: 2,071
Welcome back! I was just thinking this morning that it was about 15 years ago that someone first expressed concern about my drinking. I have been sober for 6 months It takes some of us a while but you'll get there!
It takes some of us a while but you'll get there! Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 432
"The credit belongs to the person who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; ... who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement..." - T. Roosevelt.
I really, really believe you can be successful.
I really, really believe you can be successful.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,896
Glad to see you back. And I'm glad you went into the office on Sunday. Normally I wouldn't encourage Sunday office hours but it sounds like you will be able to decrease your anxiety by catching up. In a way you are also making amends to your place of work because drinking caused you to fall behind.
As far as the work week goes, as with alcohol, just take it one day at a time. I had a terrible Monday in the office last week (in the old days I would have had a drink or 12 Monday night) but I just kept trying to do the next right thing, hit an extra AA meeting, and by Friday I was feeling really good about my work week.
As far as the work week goes, as with alcohol, just take it one day at a time. I had a terrible Monday in the office last week (in the old days I would have had a drink or 12 Monday night) but I just kept trying to do the next right thing, hit an extra AA meeting, and by Friday I was feeling really good about my work week.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: SE Michigan
Posts: 1,066
Welcome back and don't feel bad. It does take cojones to admit to relapsing" but I think almost every alcoholic or addict has done it at least once. If not hundreds of times.
I did the same thing...joined last Nov after a particularly bad drunk, was all gung-ho for about two weeks, started drinking again....then came back sorry-assed and grovelling a few weeks ago.
ZZ - love that quote! I just went to look up the Winston Churchill quote that I remembered as going something like "never, never, never, never give up..." but as it turns out that quote is often mis-remembered. It's actually: Never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.
Which is a great quote but doesn't apply quite as well.
I did the same thing...joined last Nov after a particularly bad drunk, was all gung-ho for about two weeks, started drinking again....then came back sorry-assed and grovelling a few weeks ago.
ZZ - love that quote! I just went to look up the Winston Churchill quote that I remembered as going something like "never, never, never, never give up..." but as it turns out that quote is often mis-remembered. It's actually: Never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.
Which is a great quote but doesn't apply quite as well.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Northern Utah
Posts: 920
Grateful to have woken up sober today. This evening will be a challenge for me: it is day 3, I feel good, this afternoon will be hectic at work, and my husband will be delivering papers tonight. I pray for the strength to remember how nasty the last drink actually tasted!
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