Binge Drinker
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 287
Binge Drinker
Hi, I usually post in the friends and family section but I wanted to gain some closure from someone that has first hand experience in the area. Anyone in here a binge drinker that only drinks on the weekends and cant stop? My ex and I just broke up and that is what he did but did not drink at all during the week. I am just trying to get a little more closure for myself to understanding the thought process of someone who is strictly a weekend binge drinker so I can embrace it, understand why he did what he did, and MOVE ON. I am left with so many unanswered questions and I am slowly trying to put the peices of the puzzle together. Thanks!!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Some of us are able to not drink at certain times due to other factors and responsibilies - like work.
Woe betide anyone who got between me and my drinking from Friday night til Sunday night tho.
It can work for a while....I was that way for many years until I eventually lost that small measure of conditioning and drank all day everyday.
I think it's all different points on the same alcoholic graph.
D
Woe betide anyone who got between me and my drinking from Friday night til Sunday night tho.
It can work for a while....I was that way for many years until I eventually lost that small measure of conditioning and drank all day everyday.
I think it's all different points on the same alcoholic graph.
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Louisiana...GO SAINTS!!!
Posts: 22
This has been my MO for many years...don't even think about it on weekdays unless there is a social event or party. And I have rarely been sober at a party at my own home. Once I start, don't know when to stop....so I just woke up saying I am not going to wake up hating myself again...
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
I think Dee's right, it's just a different point on the continuum. There isn't any "thought process" going on so far as the disease goes. It's just that binge drinkers haven't progressed as far in terms of their dependency. They can physically go without it, but they are still obsessed with it when they feel it's a "safe" time to drink. And then, once they start, they can't stop, because that's how it is with us.
Today's Muse
Join Date: May 2007
Location: West end
Posts: 1,081
I never used to drink everyday. It took years leading up to becoming a daily, all day long drinker. However, every time I did drink, I got wasted or passed out. Once I started, I couldn't stop at just a couple. I can count on one hand the amount of times I stopped at a couple. The reason being is I did not have access to more booze. If I did, I would continue to drink. Now, I know the only option for me is to not drink, not even one, ever.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 197
A binge drinker to me means someone who is sober for how ever many days and then gets caught up in alcohol and does nothing but drink and blows off other commitments for a few days a little more.
In my case I drank during the weekdays at first and weekends. But I later started saving it for the weekend because it was getting tiresome and it lost some of the fun. So I waited until Friday night and drank from 9pm till i fell asleep that night. I would then wake up and enjoy the lovely daylight and open the curtains or sit on my porch drinking soon, even in the morning before 11am. I'd spend the whole day drunk.
Sunday? Sometimes I;d be drunk too but I always stopped so i could sober some.
For me, drinking on the weekends friday and sat was delightful because people left me alone and I had no commitments. i could laugh out loud as much as i wanted and lead a little carefree life on just those two days.
In my case I drank during the weekdays at first and weekends. But I later started saving it for the weekend because it was getting tiresome and it lost some of the fun. So I waited until Friday night and drank from 9pm till i fell asleep that night. I would then wake up and enjoy the lovely daylight and open the curtains or sit on my porch drinking soon, even in the morning before 11am. I'd spend the whole day drunk.
Sunday? Sometimes I;d be drunk too but I always stopped so i could sober some.
For me, drinking on the weekends friday and sat was delightful because people left me alone and I had no commitments. i could laugh out loud as much as i wanted and lead a little carefree life on just those two days.
where the light is
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,763
I was a weekend binge drinker for the most part though the lines started to get blurry at the end.
I tried to explain to my now ex-wife that I never actually intended to drink for three days straight. I would always plan on one night but I would wake up after passing out for a few hours, still mostly drunk, and keep on drinking. See, I'm an alcoholic and once alcohol is in my bloodstream, I can't stop.
I used to wonder why I just couldn't drink anymore after 3 days. I was told by an alcohol counsellor that by that point I was toxic and just couldn't physically drink anymore. I'm sure my alcoholism would have progressed to the point where I would have been one of those drinkers who, at that point, force down straight vodka and often puke it up but still keep on drinking.
My ex used to think (maybe she still does) that I drank because of her. Not true. I would be sick for a couple of days after a bender and then the obsession would start, planning my next outing. It was my problem and my problem alone - MY alcoholism.
I am NOT saying that my drinking was not my fault, blaming it on a "disease". I had the responsibility to get help. I admit that I put my drinking ahead of my marriage and this, in part, led to my divorce.
Please know that his drinking is not your fault in any way. He is on a downward spiral that is so powerful that he was not willing to do what it takes to save his relationship. You are likely being spared years of misery.
I tried to explain to my now ex-wife that I never actually intended to drink for three days straight. I would always plan on one night but I would wake up after passing out for a few hours, still mostly drunk, and keep on drinking. See, I'm an alcoholic and once alcohol is in my bloodstream, I can't stop.
I used to wonder why I just couldn't drink anymore after 3 days. I was told by an alcohol counsellor that by that point I was toxic and just couldn't physically drink anymore. I'm sure my alcoholism would have progressed to the point where I would have been one of those drinkers who, at that point, force down straight vodka and often puke it up but still keep on drinking.
My ex used to think (maybe she still does) that I drank because of her. Not true. I would be sick for a couple of days after a bender and then the obsession would start, planning my next outing. It was my problem and my problem alone - MY alcoholism.
I am NOT saying that my drinking was not my fault, blaming it on a "disease". I had the responsibility to get help. I admit that I put my drinking ahead of my marriage and this, in part, led to my divorce.
Please know that his drinking is not your fault in any way. He is on a downward spiral that is so powerful that he was not willing to do what it takes to save his relationship. You are likely being spared years of misery.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 287
I barely ever drink and I met him at a very young age of 21 and I had no idea that there are all types of alcoholics. In the past, my thought of an alcoholic was someone that was a freeloader and constantly drank out of a paper bag! Of course, I know better now. Because he just binged on the weekends I just thought he liked to have a good time and would grow out of it but he never did. If I ever wanted to hang out with him on a weekend I had to sit at a bar and watch him get loud, obnoxious and sloppy drunk. Then during the week he wouldnt drink at all, but he would still be very emotionless towards me. Its a horrible disease and everyone in here that is in recovery deserves a medal because I still have trouble to this day wrapping my mind around what it must be like to struggle with alcohol.
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Great Outdoors
Posts: 1,992
Binge drinking led to every day drinking for me. It is such a fine line that I can't even pinpoint when it happened. I tried several times to stop drinking but I went back to it. My husband (now ex) puts down his coffee in the morning and reaches for a beer..and continues all day. He quit with me a couple of times but would return to drinking and then it was almost a resentment that he had towards me that I wouldn't drink with him. Eventually I would join him. It went on for years. I used to be hurt thinking he chose drinking over me..but now I know he just is so far into the addiction that he may not ever pull out. After we split up I scared myself. I have wanted to be sober for years. I had a few stops and starts. And finally got sick of it. Got sick of myself. I stopped. I changed everything I used to do..it is like a new life now. I agree with Gravity..you are most likely being spared YEARS of misery.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 287
A friend of mine asked me a question and I wasn't sure how to answer her so I am posting....her husband binges every weekend when they go out as well like my XABF. She says he is not able to stop once he starts and gets very intoxicated. However, she has seen him sit on the couch one or two nights a week and have 3 or 4 beers and he seems to be able to stop and not get drunk on those particular week nights. How is this possible that he is able to control how many drinks he has during the week but not on the weekends? I told her Alcoholics can't stop once they start, but he does both?
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Great Outdoors
Posts: 1,992
I don't know..you will see alot of posts from people that didn't want their SO to know how much they drank..some hit the liquor store and drank on the way home hiding the actual amount they slammed. Who knows..He could be a moderation binger..moderate during the week then let it rip on weekends. Everyone has their own personal quirks..drinking is a personal ritual. It was for me.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Alcohol makes changes in the brain over time and there's a vicious cycle that goes with it: after drinking heavily for a night or two there's a kind of rebound effect (hence the hangover/withdrawals). It creates anxiety and depression and all kinds of other central nervous systems disorders. So even after getting through all the morning-afters, there's still a desire to drink because it makes all those symptoms go away temporarily. Alcohol actually releases dopamine in our brains and after a while the body stops producing it normally.
Add to that the shame/guilt and any consequences from drinking, and we sink further into our own little world. It gets worse as time goes on, and just gradually eats away at everything, including our motivation to live a different life.
There's a book called "Under the Influence" which I hear is excellent in describing just how we end up this way.
I'm glad you're taking care of yourself and moving on. All the best to you!!!!
Add to that the shame/guilt and any consequences from drinking, and we sink further into our own little world. It gets worse as time goes on, and just gradually eats away at everything, including our motivation to live a different life.
There's a book called "Under the Influence" which I hear is excellent in describing just how we end up this way.
I'm glad you're taking care of yourself and moving on. All the best to you!!!!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Wappingers Falls, NY
Posts: 618
Re: Binge drinker
Originally Posted by LexieCat 
I think Dee's right, it's just a different point on the continuum. There isn't any "thought process" going on so far as the disease goes. It's just that binge drinkers haven't progressed as far in terms of their dependency. They can physically go without it, but they are still obsessed with it when they feel it's a "safe" time to drink. And then, once they start, they can't stop, because that's how it is with us.
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