Change4life

I am so friggin confused about what to do with myself. My life is always hanging by a string, my relationships, my job.
i felt like my job was toxic so I hastily quit. My Gf and I have been running the restaurant since july. We were short staffed and hired a woman recommended by our building manager. Next thing I know she was undermining us every step of the way, wining to boss about her hours, about everything. She also has addiction issues so she is excellent at manipulations. her manipulations have made my life hell. OK just 1 example...
she was scheduled to work on a wed. she wanted off. instead of calling like a normal person in AM to ask If I could work for her she waited till 45 min before shift called me to say if I dont come in I am fired. I explained I was off and unavailable. I was already out with family, sorry.
I was told by her... the new girl who I got the job for that I was fired. 2 min later the boss calls telling me this chick told her I quit.
Its been one incident like that after another.
super bowl sunday a similar incident occurred so I really did quit because it was starting to give me way too much stress. I dont want to get into all the downfalls of the restaurant but it is a crazy situation. anyway I quit, but boss called to ask me to come back, but I would have to work with the b**** cause GF ( who I am usually scheduled with) refuses to go back except to deliver. I so dont want to go back but we need to pay the rent.
my boss is suppose to be on meds takes them sometimes so you never know what your walking into. new girl same thing. Many of my friends are telling me if I hang with crazy I will start going crazy....I am starting to think they are right. In the meantime I am feeling so unsettled. between the job and the possibility of getting kicked out of apt. i am way to stressed.
ty 4 letting me share

Veritas1

Ah, resentments. I get it.

And...what are you going to do now. Today, to get into the action of moving forward, so that you can be free of this?

Focus on finding a new job, if the old is done.

Reset

I like this. ^^^

I'd keep working there but start looking for a new job right away. And in the meantime, try to be professional, ignore the new lady if she gives you any crap, and don't internalize the problems. It's just a job that gives you some money. Do your best and know that soon enough you'll have an opportunity to walk away.

Change4life

I beleive I have a rigth to resent someone that couldnt get a job anywhere else cause they are so mentally unstable and then make my life hell cause they are so suicidal and paranoid that they feel the need to get me fired. I guess I couldnt properly really explain the extent of crazy and deceit.
It took me 2 years to get this friggin job cause of past record. I worked hard and didnt deserve this. My boss could call me 24/7 and I would come, this girl started and in her paranoia thought we were being hard on her. Her BF use to own a restaurant so boss clung to him cause she has not a clue. If it werent for bf, b**** wouldnt have lasted. oH whatever I am so done.
all you folks with so me clean time think you are all almighty, maybe that s why I hate going to AA. cling to meetings cling to steps...how about living in the real world, then tell me what to do

Veritas1

Resentments, justifiable or not, are not helpful. Filled with hate, and judgement...look at how much is coming out in your writings. Think of what you could be doing, instead of harboring all of this?

I know it's not easy to hear. But someone told me when I was doing it, so I recognize it, and am trying to help you see your way clear of it.

Didn't mean to upset you, really I didn't.

LexieCat

Who do you think isn't living in the real world?

I deal with crap every day. I don't feel I have the "right" to resent anyone or anything--the resentment only hurts me, not the person or situation I'm mad at.

What I'm hearing from you is a load of self pity. You have every right to stay there in your piteous state if you want to. Doesn't sound like a very pleasant way to live.

Boleo

You answered your own question.

Reset

Sorry if I came across that way. I thought you really wanted advice, and that's what I'd try to do- let go of the negative, work on getting out, and try to manage the situation to the best of my ability in the meantime. Of course it's always easier said than done but what else could you do?

Good luck with whatever course you take though.

Dee74

I dunno what to tell you - if this job, or the people there, makes you crazy, get another one.

Thats not really the issue here tho, is it?

You know me - you'll get straight.

You really need to stop kicking out Beth.

You've been around here enough to know you're not special - you're just like us...and we're just like you.

If you want to change things, you know what that takes - and you'll find all the support in the world here.

If you'd rather flounder about, for whatever reason, that's your call - but don't blame anyone else for that decision.

D

CarolD

Beth.....all this mess is caused by your active addictions.
confused? that too is related to bad choices
Get back on track...you were clean and sober for 3 years.

Some of us have been on SR for a long time
we know your back history from previous posts.

You don't have to pay attention to anyones suggestions but
You are not going to rant about what they are saying when
they are trying to help.

No one owes you an apolgy either...

Straight up from me too....get yourself into a free Sally de tox
the back to NA/AA and see if that sorts out yor confusion.

This relationship with your GF and her "importing" her family down
has been destructive to you ...IMO
I dumped my still drinking lover to pprotect my early sobreity.
And he did not have the baggage your GF brought to you.

LosingmyMisery

Yep, I am living in the real world. I just lost my job of 6 years due to budget cuts. Not because I was drunk or irresponsible, but because the state is in a financial crisis. Fair, I hardly think so. That is real life. I have gotten a new job and I got through it sober. To me, dealing with what life throws your way, is real life. How you respond to this co-worker is on you. Every job will have its albatross. Again, this is reality and we learn to deal with. Please, do not dig a bigger hole for yourself.

UniqueNewYork

Ive had to put up with the BS you describe my entire life. All I can say is when I'm sober it doesn't seem like such a big deal and when i'm drinking every molehill is a mountain.

I've been in some really bad work situations, some so bad I had to watch my back outside work (literally scan 360 degrees to make sure I wasn't getting jumped when I was out). You are not alone in these struggles.

ReadyAndAble

In Buddhism there's a notion that everyone who aggravates you is a spiritual teacher. By being rude or mean or ignorant, they're teaching you to remain peaceful and compassionate in challenging circumstances. If that's true, sounds to me like you have a heck of a good teacher there.

Look for a new job. In the meantime, see if you can remember that her behavior doesn't actually hurt you, unless you allow yourself to get upset. And since she has her own addiction issues, it seems like a good chance to exercise compassion and understanding.

Just a thought...