vivid-red

Ok so I drank a few beers tonight, and it has been about twice a week I have been drinking recently...

But my Mum goes crazy everytime I drink, so she hit me a few times and I ended up grabbing her by the throat tonight....

crazy I know, but I just would like to be allowed to drink when I decide and let me moderate it..

It's because I still live with my parents that I cannot get peace to let me solve my own drinking habits.

ImReadyToQuit

Speechless....

BullDog777

you live under their roof...it's their rules....period.

if you had been my kid and grabbed my wife by the throat, the police would have been escorting you out in handcuffs.

mtnmagic

I am so sorry to read this. I would venture to say that living under
your parent's roof has nothing to do with getting peace with your
drinking habits. Grabbing your mother by the throat IMHO to protect
your drinking sounds completely unmanageable to me.

I hope you keep coming back and keep posting. I believe you
need help and this forum could certainly provide it if you are
willing to listen.

TTOSBT

Cunning, baffling, powerful. We can justify anything and everything while in our disease.

If you want to drink, get your own place. Simple.
Or is it? Is your drinking keeping you from being able to do that?
Would you have grabbed your mother by the throat if you weren't drinking?
Would your mother have confronted you if you had not been drinking?

Seems to me that alcohol is causing your life to become unmanageable. Maybe you should not drink. Just a thought.

Come on back when you are ready. We will be here and will support you every step of the way. Until then, best of luck to you.

MsCooterBrown

You obviously have violent tendencies...Back away from the beer. I suggest you get some type of help...if not you will be wishing for alot more than peace.

CarolD

If anyone had grabbed me by the throast or stuck me
I would have the police remove them from my home
along with their belonging.

That is how my drunk son lost his privlege to live with me
went to jail...then to a homeless chelter..

domestic abuse ...drinking or not...is a criminal offense.

Dee74

sounds like a pretty bad situation to me all round HS.

If you're not able to move, I'd really consider taking not only the path of least resistance with those you're living with, but also the best course for you based on this thread & your other one: don't drink.

take whatever steps are necessary for you not to drink from now on.

D

ZZworldontheweb

Lemme get this straight. You drank a "few" beers (usually interpreted as about three), and your mom goes totally bonkers, for no other reason, and starts raining blows on you.

A. This sounds kind of unlikely
B. However much she hits you, she's your MOTHER. You don't touch her, ever. Nobody thinks this is OK. Neither do you. You either let he hit you or you leave.
C. I'm betting you wouldn't have touched her if you hadn't been drinking.

I'm thinking you need to stop instead of moderate.

Fandy

I hope you come back and read your postings after you sober up....and see just how appalling it is to grab ANYONE by the throat....

you are far from "moderating" your behavior, it's seriously out of control and you've crossed the line to a vicious altercation with your mom.

sincerely apologize for your bad behavior and ask her to forgive you....if you can sit for a bit and just talk to her about how you feel it's a step towards getting help that i think you really want.

I think you posted here not looking for justification but to safely vent your thoughts...maybe you want to start a blog for longer thoughts?

least

If you want to live by your own rules then get your own place. But in your parents' house, you live by their rules cause it's their place. Simple as that. And you never grab your mother by the throat unless she's trying to kill you... was she trying to kill you or just mad cause you were drinking? Sounds like you need your own place with your own rules, and your own rent and bill payments.

jay01

I'm personally not a physically violent person drunk, drinking or sober. Alcohol might be affecting more deeper issues. Anger & alcohol is just as dangerous as drunk driving both can and you in serious trouble.

I didn't start drinking until I left home, and I know for fact that I could've never drank living at home so I never argued. My parents/grand parents/family never seen me drink, and I'm a better person for it.

Make things right.

Change4life

Dude. your parents have nothing to do with "your peace", your drinking is interfering with your peace. I am thinking your drinking has been a problem so that is why mom doest want you drinking.
I have a confession and it hurts me to admit but, I grabbed a loved one by the throat the other night because I was so angry, angry at myself, my drinking, angry at the world I could have and alnost killed them. It is NOT cool in my book and I am so embarrassed and so hurt that I could hurt someone I love so much. I decided I need to get help ASAP and I suggest you do the same. what if you had unintentionally hurt her. Sometimes when we drink we dont realize the consequences of our actions and we just act and react, but it isnt right. I hope you can fix this problem before it gets totally, totally out of control. we dont want to see your mom in a body bag and we dont want to see you in jail!!

UniqueNewYork

I hate to be the voice of stupidity on this one but..

My mom is a paranoid schizophrenic who used to hit me when I was a kid. We have an understanding that she doesn't lay a hand on me today, or else. This is a situation I doubt anyone on this forum will understand. Its not like dealing with a normal parent once you throw mental illness in the mix.

Then again I'm not stupid enough to try to drink at my parents house (living with them now because I just relocated for a new job). When you live at your parents house, as said, their rules. Path of least resistance. There are numerous items I don't bring in the house. My gun, my knife, my shirts with skulls and crap on them, etc. Its just understood that the crap is getting thrown away. Is it fair? No, but its their house.

There were times when I blamed my parents for my drinking. The further away I got from drinking, the more I was able to own my actions. I gave myself the straight talk after a while. I don't fit in well socially? Tough ****, learn to lift weights, make eye contact when you talk to people and dress nice. I can't keep a job more than 6 months? Tough ****, stop drinking, learn to work 10 hour days to do whatever you have to to go above and beyond. Learn to ask the worst most bitchy person at work the questions you need to ask to do your job right. Learn to not cuss people out just cause they are a **** rag. ETC. ETC. Do this for a while; your life will get dramatically better once you start owning up to the things that you can't blame others for anymore.

Oh and thanks for your honesty. I know that a lot of people wouldn't be so forward with such a personal story. I wish you the best and hope you better your situation.

TheEnd

It's an unfortunate incident, she shouldn't have hit you and you shouldn't have grabbed her. I would do whatever I needed to do to avoid another unfortunate incident such as this. I see everyone getting down on you about this, but I gather there is more history behind this than the 4 sentences you posted. That being said, do whatever you must to avoid this from happening again.

If that means not drinking at home, then drink somewhere else, if you're on this forum, you probably shouldn't be drinking at all.

reggiewayne

Sounds like a scene from "Throw Mamma From the Train". Owen!!!!

Just trying to lighten up the mood. Something definitely seems missing here. My questions is why does she care so much that you are drinking? Are you old enough? Have you ever done anything to her when you're drunk? Have you ever gotten into legal trouble when drinking? I think once we know those things, this might make more sense.

Violence is never the answer...

vivid-red

Well things are back to being OK now I think and I agree it is their house their rules, so I will just have to try harder to not drink.

ste

Back to OK? You love your beer more than your mother? No regrets? Is it her fault... because you didn't ask to be born?

yeahgr8

You obviously need to get some face to face help, have you gone to AA yet?

It's hardly a shock and horror story that you are grabbing your Mum by the throat when she tries to come between you and drinking...

Opivotal

Your Mom goes crazy every time you drink? Why? Must be a reason for this. How long has this been going on? Why are you drinking in the house when you know how she feels? Was it okay for her to hit you? Was it okay for you to choke your own Mother? My answer would be no to both questions. Not having a background, it's hard to give you advice. All I can tell you is unless you respect your Mom's wishes, and quit drinking this situation will escalate. NO DOUBT.

IMO your Mother gave you a second chance. Could have been the 5th or 6th chance IDK. If I was her, the first time you put your hands on me would be the last. I don't care about the reason. I don't care if she's the one with the problem. It is never okay to resort to violence. Maybe you've pushed your Mother to her limit.

You need to ask yourself this...I choked my Mother over BEER??

Please look into some counseling, AA, Smart , there are many options.

Best Wishes