Starting Over
 

Over the last few years I have been on and off this website, and on and off alcohol/pills. My best friend and his wife (they have a 3 year old awesome daughter) have offered me a place to stay and change my life. It would be a huge change and risk....but a chance to start over. Basically, I would be walking away from my home (I am upside down on it and broke anyways) and job (don't really like it anyways).

They live near the coast and I am in the valley in California..so about a 2 1/2 hr drive away. The plan would be to stay with them for 3-6 months and then rent a place of my own. I am in sales so I don't see much problem finding some kind of sales job.

Bottom line is I have terrible memories of my life where I live, and almost nothing but bad memories...and would probably die young if I stay around here. I live alone, have a terribly addictive personality, and will probably continue to relapse if I don't make a drastic change.

Has anyone ever just packed up and left their life to start over?

Yeah, but it wasn't to escape an addiction. "Geographical cures" are notoriously unreliable. That's because the problem is in the way we think, and that follows us wherever we go.

Also, I would encourage you to try a short sale on your house rather than just stopping the payments. It will do less damage to your credit.

I've never planned a move but I moved a lot in a few years...I agree with ZZ...everywhere I went my problems came with me.

A move is usually not enough itself.

If you do this, make sure you do other stuff to institute real change - make this a real new start and make it work.

Good luck!
D

Yeah you are both right, I have heard about people trying to move to escape addiction....and it not working. My idea is to get a whole new set of goals, stay busy, and utilize the support they are offering....as they are like family and want me to succeed...plus I really like the area they live in.

The short sale is also a good idea vs just up and leaving....this all just came up this weekend so I have a lot of thinking to do. Thanks guys/gals! More opinions are welcome.

The problem that I see with your plan is that I see no plan to address your progressive, fatal disease. "Getting a fresh start" and "keeping busy" are not alcoholism treatment options.

Doing all this busywork is nothing but a distraction, a decoy to give you the illusion that you are "doing something" about your drinking.

My own suggestion is that you use the energy you would otherwise be using in moving, finding a new job and place to live, to address your alcohol and drug problems. Deal with the reality that is in front of you.

My two cents.

I moved 1200 miles after my first DUI, and here I am 9 years later facing a second one. It doesn't really have much to do about where you live. Problems like addiction will be with you until you face the problem of addiction.

I suggest that if you do decide to move that you have a plan for your addiction to alcohol/pills.