My letter to Pinkfirefly..
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Yes...we do have celebration threads to de note time in recovery
or to share about special events..
Yes we do have "Have you seen"? threads
I guess they are started from curiosity ..I
To me...the difference is they do not critique' another persons
program or how we previously shared with them.
I stand by every reply I make to each member when I shared.
As I learn and grow in my recovery..I may or may not change
my point of view.
I don't claim to be an expert on knowing what is best for anyone.
or to share about special events..
Yes we do have "Have you seen"? threads
I guess they are started from curiosity ..I
To me...the difference is they do not critique' another persons
program or how we previously shared with them.
I stand by every reply I make to each member when I shared.
As I learn and grow in my recovery..I may or may not change
my point of view.
I don't claim to be an expert on knowing what is best for anyone.
Last edited by CarolD; 02-09-2011 at 07:06 AM.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,906
I'm going to share my experience and strength to this topic and i won't address it again unless i'm asked to...
How many of us have children?
Alot of us do...most of us do.
In my opinion, when we land here, we find a better way... a saving grace if you will...from then on we are responsible for doing right by our children no matter what. When we know better, we HAVE to do better.
is that a burden? for some, maybe. but it's something that these kids never asked to be born into. so why do they have to suffer because of our selfishness?
i almost died from this disease, illness...whatever. I started making my daughter videos trying to explain why daddy was dead... how sobriety is just too hard because i was so misunderstood and sad and depressed. How it was just too painful because i craved this so badly.. blah blah blah....
that was complete bull$hit. it simply came down to me being too selfish to pick my daughter over my disease. nothing more. I was picking my daughter to have to live the hell i refused because i was too much of a p ussy to endure some pain.
She was going to lose her father...God... I would probably ruin her life. she would blame me and she would have more questions than any answer i could possibly provide in some stupid DVD i made. She would have no positive male role model...she would probably have low self esteem. she would miss me terribly...and no matter what, her love for me was unconditional ...so why wasn't mine?? afterall...this wasn't cancer. i had a choice to be sick or not.
I was drinking a gallon of whiskey a night and taking enough pills to make the average person full. i'm a bottom barrell drunk. I know in my heart of hearts, there are few who did this worse than i did. I was dying and i knew it.
In some moment of sound clarity, i believe the hand of God touched my heart and I picked life over death. I couldn't let this happen to my daughter. Hell no. I was not going to make her a victim because i was too weak to put down the bottle. for the first time in more than a decade i would fight a WAR for my right to be a father.
so I endured a solid moth of hallucinations, seizures, shaking, vomiting, heart racing, stroke level blood pressure, brain pounding headaches and i could go on and on. If i was going to die from this i would do it fighting for my daughter to have her dad back. every night i got on my knees and begged God to keep me alive so i could try to make this up to her.
I survived. It was worth EVERY second of hell i went through. To get the chance to make this right again. How could i say no.
So, i try to live every day in humility....not trying to please myself, but making sure i do right by my daughter.
I think the frustration people feel sometimes is that EVERYONE had to go through this pain to get sober. Nobody is unique in any aspect there. It's the saddness that i feel and everyone else does that some people just won't fight a little harder because WE see the promises working in our lives. We see the light and how this is the better...easier...softer way home.
How many of us have children?
Alot of us do...most of us do.
In my opinion, when we land here, we find a better way... a saving grace if you will...from then on we are responsible for doing right by our children no matter what. When we know better, we HAVE to do better.
is that a burden? for some, maybe. but it's something that these kids never asked to be born into. so why do they have to suffer because of our selfishness?
i almost died from this disease, illness...whatever. I started making my daughter videos trying to explain why daddy was dead... how sobriety is just too hard because i was so misunderstood and sad and depressed. How it was just too painful because i craved this so badly.. blah blah blah....
that was complete bull$hit. it simply came down to me being too selfish to pick my daughter over my disease. nothing more. I was picking my daughter to have to live the hell i refused because i was too much of a p ussy to endure some pain.
She was going to lose her father...God... I would probably ruin her life. she would blame me and she would have more questions than any answer i could possibly provide in some stupid DVD i made. She would have no positive male role model...she would probably have low self esteem. she would miss me terribly...and no matter what, her love for me was unconditional ...so why wasn't mine?? afterall...this wasn't cancer. i had a choice to be sick or not.
I was drinking a gallon of whiskey a night and taking enough pills to make the average person full. i'm a bottom barrell drunk. I know in my heart of hearts, there are few who did this worse than i did. I was dying and i knew it.
In some moment of sound clarity, i believe the hand of God touched my heart and I picked life over death. I couldn't let this happen to my daughter. Hell no. I was not going to make her a victim because i was too weak to put down the bottle. for the first time in more than a decade i would fight a WAR for my right to be a father.
so I endured a solid moth of hallucinations, seizures, shaking, vomiting, heart racing, stroke level blood pressure, brain pounding headaches and i could go on and on. If i was going to die from this i would do it fighting for my daughter to have her dad back. every night i got on my knees and begged God to keep me alive so i could try to make this up to her.
I survived. It was worth EVERY second of hell i went through. To get the chance to make this right again. How could i say no.
So, i try to live every day in humility....not trying to please myself, but making sure i do right by my daughter.
I think the frustration people feel sometimes is that EVERYONE had to go through this pain to get sober. Nobody is unique in any aspect there. It's the saddness that i feel and everyone else does that some people just won't fight a little harder because WE see the promises working in our lives. We see the light and how this is the better...easier...softer way home.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: the high desert
Posts: 887
Wow, Bulldog, you brought tears to my eyes, too. Maybe i should stop reading these posts! maybe we should rename this thread: To our Children. Amazing what some of us allowed ourselves to get away with and to do, at the risk of our babies, due to this affliction, disease, whatever. . .
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
Originally Posted by Toronto68 
Fandy, if you think she would be angry about the open letter/thread because it would be embarrassing and singling her out, then all we have to do is compare that with how she must have already felt on any other thread. The only part I agree with in Carol's post is that one individual is not "more important" than another and that we can't force someone to give in and seize a good reality and quit (they need to do it on their own, and so much the better once they do, with or without the site).
When you flip it the other way, there are threads started on specific people all the time ("Has anyone seen..." and "Congratulations to..." and so on). Those people are either special to whoever started the thread or they are very popular. We don't outlaw those threads for singling someone out or implying that they are more important than other members.
The thread/letter and the experience and the hope are out. If it does Pink an inch more good, so much the better; if it doesn't, we weren't God in that case either.
There's also a benefit to others reading. This is a topic that has to do with being a mother, but the message and what good it can do doesn't always stop with the intended subject.
When you flip it the other way, there are threads started on specific people all the time ("Has anyone seen..." and "Congratulations to..." and so on). Those people are either special to whoever started the thread or they are very popular. We don't outlaw those threads for singling someone out or implying that they are more important than other members.
The thread/letter and the experience and the hope are out. If it does Pink an inch more good, so much the better; if it doesn't, we weren't God in that case either.
There's also a benefit to others reading. This is a topic that has to do with being a mother, but the message and what good it can do doesn't always stop with the intended subject.
I also think PFF has a repetitive pattern in her posting, she doesn't actually respond to the suggestions, she just repeats her wish to drink moderately, then follows it with her guilt, then states she feels victimized by our *meaness* and disappears...comes back and does it all over again in another 2-3 weeks...again this is JMHO.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Hi everyone...
when this threat was started...it was reported by some members
and brought to the attention of our entire SR Forum Team.
A decision was made at that time to leave it.
I'm now closeing it for futher consideration .
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this matter.
Let's all go find another member to assist please.
when this threat was started...it was reported by some members
and brought to the attention of our entire SR Forum Team.
A decision was made at that time to leave it.
I'm now closeing it for futher consideration .
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this matter.
Let's all go find another member to assist please.
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