Change4life

I am back again. Things were going so smooth, I should have realized I wasnt paying attention but i didnt, and now I am in trouble again. I have a big case of the crazyzzz. I dont know what happened to tell the truth. I met a girl fell in love... we packed up and moved to fl ..... got a job.... started playing my guitar again got popular here...... like really popular... I became part of my new community, everything was going great.....??? NOW I am falling apart, like the past 3 weeks have been a living hell for me.
All I hear running through my head is comfortably numb.
GF hates me... my job , I dont even know where I stand.... I dont even want to look at guitar let alone play... All the booze I decided not to consume for the past 3 years I have been sucking down with no end in sight. I am embarassed and feel so friggin lonely.

Anna

Hey Beth,

It's so good to see you here again.

It sounds like you were doing really with your life. I'm sorry that you started drinking again and that you're feeling lost.

(((Beth)))

suki44883

Maybe you bought into the "really popular" thing. We're all human, regardless of how many people out there think we're the second coming. Sounds like you lost sight of what is really important. Do you have any thoughts on how you can get back on track?

Change4life

No I have no idea what to do. I did get caught up in the whole everyone loves me thing. I never had that before and I did lose sight, cause I never had that before.... oh I guess I said that already. Ok there it is I forgot about the fact that I cant forget I am fd up and need to watch myself. with that said I am still in a bad place at the moment...help.... I have a lot of nerve coming here after all this time, thinking i had it all going on.... I guess not so much

suki44883

help.... I have a lot of nerve coming here after all this time, thinking i had it all going on.... I guess not so much

SR is open 24/7 and we never shoot our wounded. Again, you are human and did what humans do. Many of us have also lost sight of the really important things. Maybe you need to take a break and go to some meetings, if you're into AA, or talk to a professional who can help you sort through the mess. Don't waste time beating yourself up. That's just wasted energy. It's time to go back to working on yourself and finding your way back to sobriety.

Change4life

thank you Suki. I have to admit I have got so caught up in "being part of community" I have stopped caring for myself the way I should. I will try to regroup, but right now I feel like I am loosing it

Dee74

Hi Beth
Welcome back.

It took me a long time to get sober - but it took me even longer to actually care about myself and do good for me, and not be swayed by 'public opinion' (one of the reasons I stayed so long in the party gang is not wanting to hurt others feelings - can you believe it? )...

but the getting sober part came first...it has to.

Why not look at whats around in the way of support there? I bet things are a little different in FL than they were in NJ.

You've done this before - you know you can quit - why not go the extra yards this time and try and make it stick for good, B?

D

Change4life

its way more fd up in fl. More drugs more drinking, less support, but I wont let that stop me

LaFemme

Welcome back!

Sorry you aren't doing well but I'm so impressed you are even reaching out for help....that takes guts. Were you in AA before? Maybe you should look for a group.

Sending you positive, sober thoughts!
LaFemme

CarolD

Are you still living in that confusing houseing/relationship situation?
That sure sounded toxic to me.

Welcome back beth...

Change4life

no carol that got worked out, I layed out some boundaries and they were honored... thanks for asking. Things could be better, but things in life seem to always have a way of working out

Change4life

My job was totally screwing with my head. Yes I was making money but it was ruining me, my relationship.... it was just a very negative situation so... even though I am money hungry I quit. I decided my time would be better spent if I could get into an out patient program and stop myself before things get way out of control. I am not very good with change and I am very depressed, second guessing my decision, I am scared, don't know of what just scared in general.