How do you really feel about being an alcoholic?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
I just get this feeling that it was a destined to be, like some promise that was waiting to be realized and then... it was... I can be Grateful, P1ssed, Relieved, Accepting, Resentful... take your pick and I'll give you a different answer every time..... But I don't think too much about it, really.
It is what it is...
It is what it is...
I got nothin'
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My house.
Posts: 4,890
I don't see it as a blessing, though I am grateful that I do have a choice as to what I do with it.
There are lots of afflictions that do not allow people the option at all to drastically improve their lives. As a person with addiction to alcohol, I can choose to drink or not drink. Not drinking gives me a much better quality of life.
There are lots of afflictions that do not allow people the option at all to drastically improve their lives. As a person with addiction to alcohol, I can choose to drink or not drink. Not drinking gives me a much better quality of life.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: SE Michigan
Posts: 1,066
Honestly? I truly wish I was not an alcoholic. I would love to be a person who never had to deal with addiction, ever.
However, the serenity prayer:
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
I am what I am, and wondering whether I'd be happy with curly hair or amazing athletic abilities or a genius instead of none of those things
is really irrelevant.
However, the serenity prayer:
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
I am what I am, and wondering whether I'd be happy with curly hair or amazing athletic abilities or a genius instead of none of those things
is really irrelevant.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
I have very mixed feelings about it. I think overall, though, my alcoholism and recovery have made me a deeper and more compassionate person than I was before my drinking even went out of control. Maybe I'd be more bitter about it if I'd had worse things happen because of my drinking--or maybe I'd be all the more grateful.
I'm with Dee--it's part of who I am, and today, at least, I like and respect myself.
I'm with Dee--it's part of who I am, and today, at least, I like and respect myself.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,949
Maybe not so much grateful, more like empowered. I was able to gather enough resources both inside of me as well outside with the recovery community to beat a dire condition that would have had me maimed or dead. I believe without the challenge of overcoming alcohol/drug addiction I would not have known how resilient, persistent and courageous I can be in the face of catastrophe.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Living in Today!
Posts: 3,945
Originally Posted by blackhorse 
I mean sober alcoholic - NOT active.
I hear some people say they are glad to be an alcoholic, AA has given them a life, friends, the steps and wouldn't want to be a 'normal' person.
There are those who keep their illness private and deep down wish they could just be normal.
How do you feel about being an acoholic & living your life with god/higher power?
I hear some people say they are glad to be an alcoholic, AA has given them a life, friends, the steps and wouldn't want to be a 'normal' person.
There are those who keep their illness private and deep down wish they could just be normal.
How do you feel about being an acoholic & living your life with god/higher power?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 432
I do realize it's a disease, but honestly, I still feel ashamed of it. It's a behavioral disease and I still have the nagging disappointment that I'm incapable of doing something 90% of people can do easily - regulate their drinking. I'm ashamed I didn't take the necessary steps and forswear before I lost control. I enjoy going to AA, but I would not if it was not required to regulate my disease.
For good or ill, I think this helps motivate me to take the necessary steps to keep my affliction under control.
For good or ill, I think this helps motivate me to take the necessary steps to keep my affliction under control.
Om, Aum, Ohm...
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Punxsutawney/Pittsburgh
Posts: 4,797
I'm one of those people who was born alcoholic (the first abnormal reaction I can remember having to alcohol happened when I was six--and the memory abruptly cuts off because I blacked out). So, if I were to imagine being "normal," I'd have to imagine being someone else.
As far as my drinking--that was my solution, the way I dealt with being me. If circumstances had been such that alcohol or substance had not been available to me, I may not have understood that I needed to recover, or what recovery meant. I probably would have been diagnosed with some other mental health issue (although I do have a couple diagnoses back there, too), been treated as a non-alcoholic, and I suspect--can't know, but strongly suspect, considering those times I tried to be sober--that I wouldn't have lived through it. Granted, the way I drank (and the way most of us here drank), I should probably be dead from that, too, but I'm talking about a deliberate, by-my-own-hand death. I can recall wishing for death when I was as young as five years old.
So, if you're still following me, yes, I'm grateful to be a sober alcoholic with a spiritual solution (rather than a liquid one). Like Ron said, the entry fee is a MFer, and I wish those I love and who love me didn't have to pay it--but I really think my kids get it these days. And the coolest thing about being a sober alcoholic parent is that in living the steps, my kids have learned, as best they can, to live them, too. They talk about powerlessness, sanity, surrender. They take inventory and make amends. They help others. It's trippy, let me tell you! They're not angels, and I do have concerns about them, but of four, three of them steer clear of substances. The other one--jury's still out. He is aware that if things get away from him, there's help to be had.
That's a long-winded way of saying, yes, I'm grateful my life is the way it is and I am who I am.
Peace & Love,
Sugah
As far as my drinking--that was my solution, the way I dealt with being me. If circumstances had been such that alcohol or substance had not been available to me, I may not have understood that I needed to recover, or what recovery meant. I probably would have been diagnosed with some other mental health issue (although I do have a couple diagnoses back there, too), been treated as a non-alcoholic, and I suspect--can't know, but strongly suspect, considering those times I tried to be sober--that I wouldn't have lived through it. Granted, the way I drank (and the way most of us here drank), I should probably be dead from that, too, but I'm talking about a deliberate, by-my-own-hand death. I can recall wishing for death when I was as young as five years old.
So, if you're still following me, yes, I'm grateful to be a sober alcoholic with a spiritual solution (rather than a liquid one). Like Ron said, the entry fee is a MFer, and I wish those I love and who love me didn't have to pay it--but I really think my kids get it these days. And the coolest thing about being a sober alcoholic parent is that in living the steps, my kids have learned, as best they can, to live them, too. They talk about powerlessness, sanity, surrender. They take inventory and make amends. They help others. It's trippy, let me tell you! They're not angels, and I do have concerns about them, but of four, three of them steer clear of substances. The other one--jury's still out. He is aware that if things get away from him, there's help to be had.
That's a long-winded way of saying, yes, I'm grateful my life is the way it is and I am who I am.
Peace & Love,
Sugah
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 1,591
Blackhorse, I have seen a few people say they are grateful to be a recovering alcoholic too, and I don't know if they all use it the same way.
I think the whole process - the journey, as it is called so much - has been a big part of my life and it's taken on an important meaning. On the other hand, I can also see what some people mean when they have almost a contempt for the idea that "this is what their life is supposed to be." In other words, they don't want their job in life to be all about getting over alcohol and being a fixture at AA and whatever. Some of those people might be running the risk of relapsing; all depends on their path.
When I look at the phrase and what it means to me, I think there is a gladness in being able to understand where I came from and appreciate that I made it - at least once. If it's not once and for all, it's at least once and for now. That's my sentimental take on it.
Everybody has got to find their own mode of thought to get attached to.
I think the whole process - the journey, as it is called so much - has been a big part of my life and it's taken on an important meaning. On the other hand, I can also see what some people mean when they have almost a contempt for the idea that "this is what their life is supposed to be." In other words, they don't want their job in life to be all about getting over alcohol and being a fixture at AA and whatever. Some of those people might be running the risk of relapsing; all depends on their path.
When I look at the phrase and what it means to me, I think there is a gladness in being able to understand where I came from and appreciate that I made it - at least once. If it's not once and for all, it's at least once and for now. That's my sentimental take on it.
Everybody has got to find their own mode of thought to get attached to.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: SoCal CA
Posts: 1,319
I am happy that I was finally able to recognize it and now I accept it. I am at a point in my life where I needed to finally grow up. I knew I had a drinking problem long ago, but I always looked at it as a lack of willpower and self control, (2 things that I have always considered strengths in my character) , but I feel empowered now by the fact that my drinking issues weren't caused by a lack fortitude, but by a chemical imbalance in my brain which caused me not to know when to say when. By being able to finally answer this riddle that has plagued me for the last 27 years I just feel stronger for it, and it seems like that final piece of the puzzle was found.
Now am I happy that I can't sit back and have beers with my buddies?.....well yeah, cause it was a time wasting, money wasting habit the occassionally ended in a bad way, especially in the last few years. I really regret my drinking times now, because I realize I could have been so much more. But I am thankful because I can now recognize if my either of my sons are unfortunate to have this affliction, and I will have the information to help them immediately and make them aware of the dangers so they don't have to wait to figure it out for themselves. So I not only look at knowing I am an alcoholic and why as saving my life, but I might also be able to equip my boys with the information before they ever get headed down that track.
So count me as happy and relieved I found the truth behind something that completely baffled me for a long time.
Now am I happy that I can't sit back and have beers with my buddies?.....well yeah, cause it was a time wasting, money wasting habit the occassionally ended in a bad way, especially in the last few years. I really regret my drinking times now, because I realize I could have been so much more. But I am thankful because I can now recognize if my either of my sons are unfortunate to have this affliction, and I will have the information to help them immediately and make them aware of the dangers so they don't have to wait to figure it out for themselves. So I not only look at knowing I am an alcoholic and why as saving my life, but I might also be able to equip my boys with the information before they ever get headed down that track.
So count me as happy and relieved I found the truth behind something that completely baffled me for a long time.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Originally Posted by Anna
I do keep my addiction private, but I have no wish to be 'normal'.
My addiction has been a gift which has helped me find my authentic self, my reason for being on this earth in this lifetime. It has give me compassion, kindness and humility and for those things I am grateful. My addiction has taught me how to live life and to stay in the moment as much as possible. It has showed me what is important and how to live each day, being true to myself. And, I have met some of the most amazing people ever, right here at SR and formed wonderful friendships.
My addiction has been a gift which has helped me find my authentic self, my reason for being on this earth in this lifetime. It has give me compassion, kindness and humility and for those things I am grateful. My addiction has taught me how to live life and to stay in the moment as much as possible. It has showed me what is important and how to live each day, being true to myself. And, I have met some of the most amazing people ever, right here at SR and formed wonderful friendships.
Also there is no such thing as "normal"....just various degrees of abnormal...lol
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 3,452
I feel good about being a sober person on my journey of recovery.
I strive for good behavior daily, to change from my old ways, to the person I wish to be.
I feel like I am trying the best I can to be a better person, to be less selfish, and to be healthy, to live, and to appreciate life, and love more, live more, harm less.
I have always known that alcohol was a big problem for me. So, being an alcoholic, is not that bad. I did it. No one did it to me. (I feel).
So...I feel that it's okay and am proud of myself for changing.
I guess once we know the problem, we get to change. What a gift, that we are able to have the opportunity to be well.
I strive for good behavior daily, to change from my old ways, to the person I wish to be.
I feel like I am trying the best I can to be a better person, to be less selfish, and to be healthy, to live, and to appreciate life, and love more, live more, harm less.
I have always known that alcohol was a big problem for me. So, being an alcoholic, is not that bad. I did it. No one did it to me. (I feel).
So...I feel that it's okay and am proud of myself for changing.
I guess once we know the problem, we get to change. What a gift, that we are able to have the opportunity to be well.
Member of SMART Recovery
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,722
I feel that the experience I've had in becoming addicted and then recovering from that addiction has given me an appreciation for life that I never would have had otherwise. I can't in all honesty claim to be grateful for the experience (way too painful for that) but I can say that it has given me a perspective on myself and humanity that I've found valuable in both large and small ways.
That said, I don't view myself or label myself as an "alcoholic". I know that others find this identification helpful, but for myself, I've found that using the label indefinitely, even if modified by "recovered", "recovering", or "sober" forces me to define myself in relation to a problem I haven't had in many years.
OTT
That said, I don't view myself or label myself as an "alcoholic". I know that others find this identification helpful, but for myself, I've found that using the label indefinitely, even if modified by "recovered", "recovering", or "sober" forces me to define myself in relation to a problem I haven't had in many years.
OTT
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 889
I am very happy to know that I am alcoholic. I can finally stop trying to "fix" my drinking problem. For so long I would do exactly what I saw many people do, which is to drink. I would always think something was wrong with my will power or self control because they would just have one or two, and I would have to continue drinking until I went to bed (passed out). I always thought this was a flaw inside me that I could fix with enough knowledge and self control.
I am so grateful that I now understand that I really am different with regards to alcohol. I now know that the only thing I can control (with regards to booze) is to not take the first drink. I am very grateful for that knowledge.
Now, I would prefer not to be this way, but I don't really have a choice. Having said that, I think I am much better off as a person for finding AA. It has helped me tremendously in all areas of my life. Without the alcoholic condition, I would not have AA.
So, to answer your question, I feel very blessed to be an alcoholic.
I am so grateful that I now understand that I really am different with regards to alcohol. I now know that the only thing I can control (with regards to booze) is to not take the first drink. I am very grateful for that knowledge.
Now, I would prefer not to be this way, but I don't really have a choice. Having said that, I think I am much better off as a person for finding AA. It has helped me tremendously in all areas of my life. Without the alcoholic condition, I would not have AA.
So, to answer your question, I feel very blessed to be an alcoholic.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 2,405
I also do not use the term alcoholic but I would never say I am glad to have had a drinking problem, the damage I did to my daughter (emotional) and to myself is irreversable. I do wish I could have been a moderate drinker and not caused the damage, I accept that is not possible ever and I dont' have any desire now for even moderate drinking.
I am very happy that I have recovered from the need/desire to sabotage my life with alcohol. I've always had belief and connection with God even while at my lowest, so sobriety did not give me that, just sobriety has made me feel worthy of God's love and protection.
I am very happy that I have recovered from the need/desire to sabotage my life with alcohol. I've always had belief and connection with God even while at my lowest, so sobriety did not give me that, just sobriety has made me feel worthy of God's love and protection.
i've done my almost
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,934
This is a GREAT thread.
Lots of different, but equally good replies.
I actually came back on here this morning to read this again.
What was once our biggest problem as lead to our biggest strength. ...and from there it's up to us what we do with our new life.
Two lives in one!
Viva recovery!
Kjell
Lots of different, but equally good replies.
I actually came back on here this morning to read this again.
What was once our biggest problem as lead to our biggest strength. ...and from there it's up to us what we do with our new life.
Two lives in one!
Viva recovery!
Kjell
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