Lying About Sobriety
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Wappingers Falls, NY
Posts: 618
Hi…Justfor1...Glad to hear your okay.
What are you apologizing for? Your honesty is welcome and so are you. Whatever you say is not meant to embarrass you, but for us to get to know you. We are not alone in the fight against this deadly disease and you have shed a light on one of it's many stumbling blocks……dishonesty
Take me for example…I was a blackout drinker for many years, not realizing the impact it had on so many people, not just myself. If I could just learn to control my drinking than all else would be fine…So I thought. Well…that simply wasn’t true and I have the scars to prove it. I had to be honest about what had happened -My relapses that was- and then.......ask for help. The necessary help -needed to combat this disease one day at a time - was not only available but crucial as well.
After every relapse, I had the distinct pleasure of returning to AA with all those annoying reservations too. What I learned after so many attempts at getting sober is this; the more I tried to salvage my own sobriety - Alone that is - the more I failed. Basically… I could not achieve any success in sobriety on my own terms and conditions. In fact…no alcoholic - that I know of - can achieve any lasting success in sobriety unless under the care and direction of another; including those in outpatient services, AA of course and sober forums like this one.
You done a great service for admitting your not over the hump with this disease as of yet…no one ever is. There are no diplomas in recovery…just daily reprieves, contingent upon your spiritual conditioning. We will pray for your continued success in sobriety and support your efforts to reclaim the sober life you once had...…one day at a time.
~God Bless~
What are you apologizing for? Your honesty is welcome and so are you. Whatever you say is not meant to embarrass you, but for us to get to know you. We are not alone in the fight against this deadly disease and you have shed a light on one of it's many stumbling blocks……dishonesty
Take me for example…I was a blackout drinker for many years, not realizing the impact it had on so many people, not just myself. If I could just learn to control my drinking than all else would be fine…So I thought. Well…that simply wasn’t true and I have the scars to prove it. I had to be honest about what had happened -My relapses that was- and then.......ask for help. The necessary help -needed to combat this disease one day at a time - was not only available but crucial as well.
After every relapse, I had the distinct pleasure of returning to AA with all those annoying reservations too. What I learned after so many attempts at getting sober is this; the more I tried to salvage my own sobriety - Alone that is - the more I failed. Basically… I could not achieve any success in sobriety on my own terms and conditions. In fact…no alcoholic - that I know of - can achieve any lasting success in sobriety unless under the care and direction of another; including those in outpatient services, AA of course and sober forums like this one.
You done a great service for admitting your not over the hump with this disease as of yet…no one ever is. There are no diplomas in recovery…just daily reprieves, contingent upon your spiritual conditioning. We will pray for your continued success in sobriety and support your efforts to reclaim the sober life you once had...…one day at a time.
~God Bless~
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Singapore
Posts: 737
No need for sorry. We've all been there. It is nothing more than what we all do if we're not careful.
I will say that yours is just about the most courageous post I've read around here in a while. That couldn't have been easy.
JF1, falling over isn't a sign that we have lost the ability to stand tall. It just means we've had a temporary loss of balance.
I will say that yours is just about the most courageous post I've read around here in a while. That couldn't have been easy.
JF1, falling over isn't a sign that we have lost the ability to stand tall. It just means we've had a temporary loss of balance.
High on Life
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Been to Hell and Back
Posts: 1,157
It happens, you are surely not the first one nor will you be the last one. I lied to plenty of people about being sober in the past, picked up chips and so on, but the only person I couldn't fool was the most important of them all, "MYSELF".
I learned that the most important person that I can be sober for is myself. Other people will benefit from the experience as well, but I'm doing this for me, and you have to make sure you are doing this for you. We lie to other people, because we don't want them to think poorly of us, but it doesn't really matter what other people think. We are the most important people in our lives.
If it's not important to us to be sober, then it won't happen.
I learned that the most important person that I can be sober for is myself. Other people will benefit from the experience as well, but I'm doing this for me, and you have to make sure you are doing this for you. We lie to other people, because we don't want them to think poorly of us, but it doesn't really matter what other people think. We are the most important people in our lives.
If it's not important to us to be sober, then it won't happen.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: SoCal CA
Posts: 1,319
One of my favorite poems comes to mind:
The Man in the Glass
When you get what you want in your struggles for self
And the world makes you king for a day,
Just go to a mirror and look at yourself
And see what that man has to say.
For it isn't your father or mother or wife
Whose judgment upon you must pass,
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the one staring back from the glass.
Some people might think you're a straight-shooting chum
And call you a wonderful guy.
But the man in the glass says you're only a bum
If you can't look him straight in the eye.
He's the fellow to please, never mind all the rest
For he's with you clear to the end
And you've passed your most dangerous test
If the guy in the glass is your friend.
You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years
And get pats on the back as you pass
But your final reward will be heartache and tears
If you've cheated the man in the glass.
Unknown Author
The Man in the Glass
When you get what you want in your struggles for self
And the world makes you king for a day,
Just go to a mirror and look at yourself
And see what that man has to say.
For it isn't your father or mother or wife
Whose judgment upon you must pass,
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the one staring back from the glass.
Some people might think you're a straight-shooting chum
And call you a wonderful guy.
But the man in the glass says you're only a bum
If you can't look him straight in the eye.
He's the fellow to please, never mind all the rest
For he's with you clear to the end
And you've passed your most dangerous test
If the guy in the glass is your friend.
You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years
And get pats on the back as you pass
But your final reward will be heartache and tears
If you've cheated the man in the glass.
Unknown Author
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
It takes a lot of courage to get honest like that......and you're to be congratulated for it.
I'm sure it'll be a strong part of your story one of these days......you'll be able to reach and understand a lot of people that you might not have otherwise.
I'm sure God's got some heavy work for you do do for Him....glad you're still around to do it.
Remember, we don't have the luxury of living in the past. We admit out mistakes and get right back into action - taking the necessary steps so as not to repeat the past.
Good job and welcome back. We need ya!!
I'm sure it'll be a strong part of your story one of these days......you'll be able to reach and understand a lot of people that you might not have otherwise.
I'm sure God's got some heavy work for you do do for Him....glad you're still around to do it.
Remember, we don't have the luxury of living in the past. We admit out mistakes and get right back into action - taking the necessary steps so as not to repeat the past.
Good job and welcome back. We need ya!!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
Just - Glad you are back!
This is the beginning of a new chapter for you and like others shared....you are doing this for you and man I am sure that took a lot to share.
Looking forward to the journey Just!!
This is the beginning of a new chapter for you and like others shared....you are doing this for you and man I am sure that took a lot to share.
Looking forward to the journey Just!!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Michigan
Posts: 758
Hey you haven't done anything the rest of us haven't done. We're use to telling lies as alcoholics, that's what we do. I admitted when I first came here that I fudged(lied) about when I was sober. But after being here for awhile and getting to know people like Carol, Dee, Capt200 and others I found I felt like crap because I lied.
So when I finally did get sober, I found if I lied now I just couldn't do it. So don't feel bad. Your here and working on yourself, that's all you need to do.
Glad your back.
Steve
So when I finally did get sober, I found if I lied now I just couldn't do it. So don't feel bad. Your here and working on yourself, that's all you need to do.
Glad your back.
Steve
Trudging that road.
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Seattle Wa
Posts: 6,840
Love that poem thanks for sharing. Can I see a show of hands for anyone who doesn't lie? Although I will admitt lying about ones sobriety really only hurts the person who is doing it we are all still sober. I remember I was so sick in my disease and I was going to NA at the time I was at an event cooking for everyone and me and another newcomer man went out and did our DOC and came back and continued to cook. I also played on a softball team 1/2 a summer loaded. That was over 10 years ago but its a part of my story and I am not alone. Of course we have those saints around the rooms that are astonished by such behavior, those are the ones that grimace when someone drunk comes into a mtg. We all have our own journey and bottom to hit and I for one want to say welcome back. Don't keep coming back JUST STAY!!! 
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
Thank you for your honesty..
For me, living honest was a huge step in my recovery. The freedom of never lying again, never hiding, cheating the truth, living a double life (etc) has been exhilarating.
I'm glad you're 'back'
For me, living honest was a huge step in my recovery. The freedom of never lying again, never hiding, cheating the truth, living a double life (etc) has been exhilarating.
I'm glad you're 'back'
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 651
Originally Posted by Justfor1 
My original sobriety date is March 15 2008. I though being homeless was my bottom. I have been lying to friends, family, sponser and here on this forum. I relapsed a few months ago and have been quite drunk. I was still chairing a meeting once a week under the influence until I was caught. I was limiting myself to drinking 2-3days a week. I would read my Big Book under the influence. I thought I had it under control limiting myself to a 12pack of beer. However, things got out of hand and I began drinking bottles of Vodka for 4 days. I was in a complete blackout and didn't know what day it was. The police picked me up stumbling around and took me to the hospital. The doctors said my liver enzymes are very high and I need help. I detoxed for 4 days and am now sober. I'm quite embarrassed and apologize to everyone for posting.
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