Weak
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Ohio
Posts: 35
Weak
Well here it is Friday and the urges are bad. My ex asked me what I was doing tonight, I told him I dunno I have not decided. He kinda looked at me funny. He does know that I have cut way back on my drinking and do not go to the bars anymore but does not know about me considering AA. He then asked me about going to a bar tonight. I guess all the ppl he works with are going to all meet and he wants me to go. I was going to call and maybe go to an AA meeting. uggggggggg :banger why do I feel so weak. I would not even have seen him but he asked if he could borrow my car. He totaled his car 2 weeks ago and finally got his insurance check so he wants to go out looking for a car so he drove me to work and is going to pick me up later, Which even makes it harded cause then I have to see him again later.
He is a very heavy drinker like I was and it was only when I slowed down that I realized how much. Thats one reason I left was I could not take his drinking..Imagine that huh? a drunk leaving a drunk because they drank to much (if that made any sense) And it was really bad because on the way driving to work I could smell the stale beer on him. ICK!!! I know he showered and all but it smelled. I could only imagine the way I smelled to other ppl when I drank heavy. I must have smelled of stale whiskey. That thought alone makes me not want to drink tonight. I know if I do its going to be party tonight, then drink early on Saturday and drunk by 5. Then really feel the hangover come Sunday morning. I'll Feel crappy and getting nothing done and there goes another entire weekend of nothing and feeling quilty and depressed come Monday. Why?..I don't get it. My mind says...what are you stupid. Like the saying...Idiots keep doing the same thing and expect different results.(or something like that)
:sweat I am still going to call and find out were there are meeting in my area tonight, well for this weekend. Dang, why are the weekends so hard.
He is a very heavy drinker like I was and it was only when I slowed down that I realized how much. Thats one reason I left was I could not take his drinking..Imagine that huh? a drunk leaving a drunk because they drank to much (if that made any sense) And it was really bad because on the way driving to work I could smell the stale beer on him. ICK!!! I know he showered and all but it smelled. I could only imagine the way I smelled to other ppl when I drank heavy. I must have smelled of stale whiskey. That thought alone makes me not want to drink tonight. I know if I do its going to be party tonight, then drink early on Saturday and drunk by 5. Then really feel the hangover come Sunday morning. I'll Feel crappy and getting nothing done and there goes another entire weekend of nothing and feeling quilty and depressed come Monday. Why?..I don't get it. My mind says...what are you stupid. Like the saying...Idiots keep doing the same thing and expect different results.(or something like that)
:sweat I am still going to call and find out were there are meeting in my area tonight, well for this weekend. Dang, why are the weekends so hard.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Dreaming Summer
Posts: 821
Get to a meeting.Put yourself first.Reach out for help.
And please....think hard about the sanity of letting a drunk who totaled his own car borrow yours to go find another.
The second step says that a Higher Power may restore us to sanity.Run,don't walk to the nearest meeting
Hugs
phoenix
And please....think hard about the sanity of letting a drunk who totaled his own car borrow yours to go find another.
The second step says that a Higher Power may restore us to sanity.Run,don't walk to the nearest meeting
Hugs
phoenix
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Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: at the computer
Posts: 121
Hi,
I know the feeling about smelling alcohol on other people, and wondering whether I ever smelled like that, especially coming into work the next day. Yikes. My husband cam home from a bar watching a football game the a few days ago. He only had three beers (and felt drunk! He's not a big drinker at all. I could always drink three times as much as him), but wow could I smell it. I didn't even want to kiss him. Made me realize how much I must have reeked to him after downing a six pack or bottle of wine.
Anyway, Please re-read your post. I think you answered your own dilemma. Think hard about why you would want to go out with him tonight, only to end up with a saran-wrapped brain on Sunday. You were smart and brave to leave in the first place.
I also agree with pheonix - think about letting your *ex* who is a heavy drinker and who totaled his own car borrow your car again - or for that matter drive you anywhere.
Don't mean to be harsh, just honest.
Jayhay
I know the feeling about smelling alcohol on other people, and wondering whether I ever smelled like that, especially coming into work the next day. Yikes. My husband cam home from a bar watching a football game the a few days ago. He only had three beers (and felt drunk! He's not a big drinker at all. I could always drink three times as much as him), but wow could I smell it. I didn't even want to kiss him. Made me realize how much I must have reeked to him after downing a six pack or bottle of wine.
Anyway, Please re-read your post. I think you answered your own dilemma. Think hard about why you would want to go out with him tonight, only to end up with a saran-wrapped brain on Sunday. You were smart and brave to leave in the first place.
I also agree with pheonix - think about letting your *ex* who is a heavy drinker and who totaled his own car borrow your car again - or for that matter drive you anywhere.
Don't mean to be harsh, just honest.
Jayhay
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Ohio
Posts: 35
Thanks all for responses...
pheonix and Jayhay...as for me lending him my car..he is still insured on it, thats not an excuse just a comment really and I feel bad cause if it was the other way around he would do the same for me. And you are right. Sometimes reading what we write does have the answers. And DAH on my part..No wonder he asked me to go..he needs me to drive him.
CarolD..I wanted my first response to be..well with the drunken losers of course cause thats what I feel like I am and were I fit in. But then I thought NO thats what you were and now you want to change and have a life of Joy. It kinda freaked me too because it dawned on me..WOW thats whats my horoscope said today...
Today's planetary configurations indicate that this would be a good moment to get rid of everything that is still holding you back from an impending rebirth, dear Sagittarius. One stumbling block for you may be the impulse that you seem to have to blend with others. Don't forget that you are an individual, dear Sagittarius. This is not something to be overcome, rather it should be celebrated!
"blend with others" Well I think its time to find a new group to
blend with. Sober others.
I am praying hard that I find the strength.
pheonix and Jayhay...as for me lending him my car..he is still insured on it, thats not an excuse just a comment really and I feel bad cause if it was the other way around he would do the same for me. And you are right. Sometimes reading what we write does have the answers. And DAH on my part..No wonder he asked me to go..he needs me to drive him.
CarolD..I wanted my first response to be..well with the drunken losers of course cause thats what I feel like I am and were I fit in. But then I thought NO thats what you were and now you want to change and have a life of Joy. It kinda freaked me too because it dawned on me..WOW thats whats my horoscope said today...
Today's planetary configurations indicate that this would be a good moment to get rid of everything that is still holding you back from an impending rebirth, dear Sagittarius. One stumbling block for you may be the impulse that you seem to have to blend with others. Don't forget that you are an individual, dear Sagittarius. This is not something to be overcome, rather it should be celebrated!
"blend with others" Well I think its time to find a new group to
blend with. Sober others.
I am praying hard that I find the strength.
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