How could I forget 20 yrs of sobriety??
 

This was a PM to a friend, but thought it might make a good thread about why our sobriety has to be our number one priority in our lives. How we must be forever mindful of it, of where we came from and why we left there.




I had twenty years sobriety when I threw it away. I honestly really did "forget" my drunken past and subsequent sobriety. It wasn't until I'd been sober several months that I remembered those awful days.

I must have been sober at least twenty years until that fateful day in the store. I was in over my head emotionally with my youngest kid, she's a brat, plain and simple, along with undiagnosed and untreated depression, and I didn't know how to deal with her and still keep some sanity.

The wine aisle is right across from the produce and as I went down the row a bottle stood out to me for the label. It was a line drawing of a small table, a chair, and a bottle and glass on the table. The name of the wine (pinot grigio) was Mommy's Time Out. ;)

I looked at the bottle's label and got a big grin on my face and said to myself, "why not?". It didn't enter my head that I'd been sober from an ugly drinking history for at least twenty years... and why I'd stopped drinking back then... Because my life had become unmanageable, that's why...

So I started having a glass, a regular four oz wine glass, of wine at 2pm so I'd not 'engage' youngest kid (I call her DK, for Defiant Kid). It worked great. We didn't fight or argue, I just smiled and said, "good to see you home again." and gave her a hug cause I felt all 'warm and runny' and loving, ya know, the just-getting-drunk warmth and love...


Six months later I found myself drinking all day, every day. Not enough to get rip-roaring drunk, just numb, like an alcohol IV... drip drip drip... And too much to drive, tho I did, several times, even picking up my other kid also (I call her CK for college kid) along with dk and driving them home from school. Sh!t!!!

It was much less than a year before I was one to three bottles of wine a day, and once in a while would get a fifth of gin, for good measure. :yikes:



I've come a long way and love where I am now and don't think I will 'forget' my past a second time. "The price of liberty is eternal vigilance"... or something like that.

Thanks for sharing, Least. That was a great post and an important reminder to me.

For me, least, I don't
think about the number
of years sober I have
but rather just being
sober today.

It still blows my mind
to hear of someone who
has many years sobriety
just get so complacant
and drink or use.

If you work and live AA
or NA everyday then your
mind, body and soul
automatically thinks
and breaths recovery.

And that's what Im doing
today. :)

Thanks for that. You probably helped a few people here.

Thanks least, excellent reminder for everyone.

I've never had that long a stretch of sobriety (not even....!), but I so relate to the fast progression from sort of "controlled" and pleasant ---> numbing ---> totally freaking out of control.

Sneaky, sneaky sneaky how it happens.

A powerful reminder that alcohol is like a virus that hides itself in the body for years, only to resurface when our resources are compromised. We must remember, we are alcoholics for the rest of our lives. The innocent "one little drink" will eventually return us to the stage we were when we quit, then accelerate beyond in very little time.

Reminds me that I need to take it easy. One day at a time. Easy does it. Just focus on not drinking today. Etc. I almost have two years and feel like drinking is so unlikely now. But, I know that I can go back to how I was. Thanks fro sharing. I hope I never drink again. But, no one knows the future.

Thank you so much for that.

GG

What is that quote from the big book? "We will not forget the past nor wish to shut the door on it." Well I shut the door on it and forgot all about it, as if it had never happened.:(

Every night before I go to sleep I give thanks for another sober day. And every morning when I wake up I give thanks for the opportunity to live another sober day.:) I'm making sure I never forget this time round.:)

:You_Rock_
:c015: Awesome share least!

RR

:thanks:thanks Least!!!

Least, you are a very wise woman...thanks for posting this and helping others.

Great post Least. I've had thoughts in the last 3 yrs that maybe in 10 or 20 yrs I'll be able to drink normally and reading posts like this remind me that it just isn't possible. THank you.

A couple of things stand out...she didn't know if it was 20 years or not. And, she doesn't say if she stopped again 10 years ago, or 10 days ago. And her solution is to not forget like she forgot last time.

When people get past 11 yrs and get drunk again they very rarely make it back to stick. Most die from drink pretty quickly. Not sure why that 11th year seems to operate as a cutoff, but it does. Less time people seem to still have a shot to get it right.

My story is in the recovery stories forum to read the details. It was right around twenty years I was sober, give or take a year or two either way. Stopped drinking when I was mid thirties and started back up when I was 55. And I stopped again nearly 14 months ago, after trying to quit for nearly two years. And since I did make it back, I guess I'm truly blessed.:) Is that the necessary info to answer your questions?

And yes, my solution is to keep my sobriety first and foremost in my life and in my mind, so I won't 'forget' again and go down that same ol' tired path.

Sorry Least, I thought you were posting a pm from someone you had rec'd about someone else. I'd not read your story in the stories forum, and didn't know.

Next time you post your story somewhere I'll recognize it.

((Least)) thank-you for sharing part of your story.....It was a wake up call to those little thoughts I sometimes have about drinking....oh I've been sober a year now.. I must not be an alcoholic...one drink won't hurt......you know those voices....thank you for reminding me that life can go back to where it was....and not to forget that! very powerful post Least....xoxoxo

Welcome back Least...

The interruption in your sobriety wasn't in vain. Many people -in this forum- responded with kind words and sentiments about your return to sober living and the prospects of remaining sober one day at a time. That was our way of saying "thank you" for many things present in your message of hope, including your story of courage in the face of all adversity. I guess the people most affected by your story were those still on the verge of picking up and experiencing, once again, the remorse that comes with it; Maybe your meesage of hope will convince them otherwise...God willing. Welcome back, least, into the fold of Alcoholics Anonymous and may God give you the strength to continue this journey and bloom into the sober person you were before.

:thanks

Put some grattitude in your attitude...

A circuit speaker I love named Bob D has said "to stay in AA, i need to know how to leave AA....."

Thanks for sharing Least.

I've been told that each day I wake up I have un-treated alcoholism. It's up to me to get / stay in recovery on a daily basis. When I think of doing that for the rest of my life it's terrifying. But when I think of doing that just one day at a time it doesn't seem like high of mountain to climb.

Great post Least.