Nikkle

I'm not going to drink, but I am giving up going to my voluntary meetings. I will continue going to my mandatory meetings and have my fiance pick me up from them whether he is sober or not. I will curl up in a ball for a while, lick my wounds at having tried to connect with the outside world face to face, then sign up for an online 12 step workbook class that doesn't require ever leaving the house in the first place. Problem solved.

suki44883

Sometimes we just have to be patient. Things have a way of working out, but not always in our timing. Encouraging your fiance to drive if he is drunk is absolutely NOT a smart thing to do.

Nikkle

NOT smart, so should I go and walk 13 miles home down dark forested roads or quit going and get arrested for violating my sentence?

Fandy

can you arrange another way home from a mandatory meeting, even a taxi ride is cheaper in the long run rather than climbing into a car with someone who is drunk and driving.

can you explain your situation and offer someone $$ to bring you home if it's needed.

it must be really hard to stay in focus and live with someone who is not in tune to what you are trying to accomplish. can your bf/fiance stay sober until you get home safely? or he might risk a DUI himself.

savexourxship

What are the terms of your sentence?

Nikkle

I am attending dui education classes twice a week. I talked to my fiancé a few minutes ago and he agreed to stay sober long enough to pick me up at 6:30. So, now it's all covered, no more transport stress. My fiancé is not willing to wait around til 9 PM when I would get out of CR, to drink. He's already drunk and headed to bed by then. I'll just have to give up trying to make meaningful face to face contact with others. I'll do my workbook online.

Fandy: A taxi ride would be 30 bucks each time, that's $240 a month I don't have.

I always gave the person who gave me a ride $5, even if they tried to refuse because it was the considerate and responsible thing to do.

Kjell

You have to do whatever it takes.

I say this with kindness, but trying to play the victim role could possible derail your sobriety. "Victims" seldom stay sober for long.

I know this is tough and it's a tough situation, but there are always alternate ways of solving any problem.

Keep up the good work and do whatever it takes. Your story is not the first of its kind.

We can and do recover - no matter what

Kjell

Fandy

I'm glad you got the mandatory transportation covered, at least that part is off your mind.

maybe your fiance will see how important the CR? meetings are for you and offer up to stay sober for them once a week?

whatever happens, congrats on your 54 days, i think that is great, you've been dealing with a lot of stress, complications and staying in a good frame of mind. I really hope you find someone who is willing to help you out.

skg

Isolation! Great idea! Confined with the enemy. When you start gnawing at your arms to slip free of the shackles, consider more meetings, not less... Just a suggestion...

Nikkle

I know I'm feeling sorry for myself right now. I'm giving myself a small window of time to feel real sad at the changes, then I'll accept that I cannot change it and do what I can. I can still work the steps even if it is with people in other parts of the country online. Not a big fan of physical interaction anyways, I was just trying to do something outside my comfort zone. I'll try that another time.

Freyakitty

Hi Nikkle, What happened when you tried to connect? Did it not work out as you had hoped? I wonder if this "experience" is part of the fieldwork of recovery and that it is releasing emotions that need to be dealt with rather than staying at home - For now, it is probably a good idea to give yourself a big hug but definitely get out there again because you know you can always come back home but to give up and say that's it, well that seems like it's a step backwards - some say (and I believe it) that recovery is not just about not drinking but it's also dealing with the emotional crap (excuse me for my eloquent language - haha)...

Joanna

Nikkle

FreyKitty & skg, if you get a chance, read my other posts.

Untoxicated

You're not married yet; that's a good thing.

Kjell

Nikkle - I've been there before. I'll be there again. I know how you feel.

Could it be, that you're so upset and down, not so much b/c of the problem with getting to and from your dui class (which you will solve), but maybe b/c of something much, much bigger?

Fandy

you'll come to terms with it when you are ready. I'm sorry that you do not have more support from your fiance. it can't be easy to stop when he is actively drinking every night. it's not possible to discuss if he's not ready to stop, because then that opens another door you might not want to get to....(yet).

you've got us to sound off on....keep posting.