Paws?????
Grateful Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: MI
Posts: 1,080
Paws?????
I have 82 days, I've been doing pretty good, cravings come and go...
Until the last few days.
My alcoholic voice is in my ear.
My pink cloud is gone.
I don't want to blow it, but I'm so tired of feeling like this. If this is PAWS, then how long do they last? Can someone give me a time frame, so I can try to be optimistic and hopeful that I will feel better soon?
Until the last few days.
My alcoholic voice is in my ear.
My pink cloud is gone.
I don't want to blow it, but I'm so tired of feeling like this. If this is PAWS, then how long do they last? Can someone give me a time frame, so I can try to be optimistic and hopeful that I will feel better soon?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
This is typical early sobriety which for me was like having 24-hour-per day PMS in a full moon. Recovery is a process and for most of us it doesn't happen fast enough. Just try to stay in today, breathe, go to meetings and I promise, it will get much better.
Congrats on 82 days!
Congrats on 82 days!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,385
Hi Jules - I don't know if it's PAWs or not, but if you haven't seen it before you may find this link useful - it has some good helpful hints for action if you're 'stuck'
PAWS « Digital Dharma
My oen experience of PAWs was not so much a resurgence of cravings and the voice whispering in my ear - I just felt really 'bad' - really down, unmotivated, despondent, really irritable and befuddled or, worse for me, acting really out of character - acting inappropriately and taking stupid risks - it lasted a few days for me on each of the few occasions it occurred.
Hope, whatever it is, you feel better soon
D
PAWS « Digital Dharma
My oen experience of PAWs was not so much a resurgence of cravings and the voice whispering in my ear - I just felt really 'bad' - really down, unmotivated, despondent, really irritable and befuddled or, worse for me, acting really out of character - acting inappropriately and taking stupid risks - it lasted a few days for me on each of the few occasions it occurred.
Hope, whatever it is, you feel better soon
D
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,906
Originally Posted by julez 
I have 82 days, I've been doing pretty good, cravings come and go...
Until the last few days.
My alcoholic voice is in my ear.
My pink cloud is gone.
I don't want to blow it, but I'm so tired of feeling like this. If this is PAWS, then how long do they last? Can someone give me a time frame, so I can try to be optimistic and hopeful that I will feel better soon?
Until the last few days.
My alcoholic voice is in my ear.
My pink cloud is gone.
I don't want to blow it, but I'm so tired of feeling like this. If this is PAWS, then how long do they last? Can someone give me a time frame, so I can try to be optimistic and hopeful that I will feel better soon?
in my early days of sobriety i'd go and work on a heavy bag until i couldn't lift my arms.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
It passes. Don't give in. One the things I read about PAWS was this:
“Any use of drugs or alcohol, even in small quantities or for a short time, will effectively eliminate any improvement gained over that time, as it will keep the brain from healing.”
That scared me. I had come to far to start over. I believed that PAWS would soon pass. I wasn't sure my drinking would pass if I resumed that.
“Any use of drugs or alcohol, even in small quantities or for a short time, will effectively eliminate any improvement gained over that time, as it will keep the brain from healing.”
That scared me. I had come to far to start over. I believed that PAWS would soon pass. I wasn't sure my drinking would pass if I resumed that.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
I shudder at time frames now........but I used to ask for them all the time. The ppl I trusted always deferred to "well, it's a 24 hr program so let's just work with today and see how tomorrow goes." <-- sage advice
What if I told you 4 years..... what if I told you 4 days. Could be either, FOR YOU....could be somewhere in between.
I know that "not knowing how long" is bothersome......but remember, it's not our business to know. We may WANT to know.....but it's not required.
A lot of the stuff I "want" I certainly don't need. ......and a lot of that stuff, had I received it, I would have been worse off. We've got a plate plenty-full already just trying to be a good person this very moment, in the "now," without getting all caught up on how we're going to handle this or that a week, a month, 6 months or several years from now "if I still feel this way."
I felt like crap a LOT in my first several years. Each of those incidents though.....each traumatic event that led to more discomfort and pain than I thought I could handle.....each of them brought me closer to this God I'm trying to get closer too and each of them was a tremendous learning experience.
No pain no gain, right? Remember.......this sobriety deal is a marathon, not a sprint, and all you have to do is do some running "today." Tomorrow will take care of itself.
What if I told you 4 years..... what if I told you 4 days. Could be either, FOR YOU....could be somewhere in between.
I know that "not knowing how long" is bothersome......but remember, it's not our business to know. We may WANT to know.....but it's not required.
A lot of the stuff I "want" I certainly don't need. ......and a lot of that stuff, had I received it, I would have been worse off. We've got a plate plenty-full already just trying to be a good person this very moment, in the "now," without getting all caught up on how we're going to handle this or that a week, a month, 6 months or several years from now "if I still feel this way." I felt like crap a LOT in my first several years. Each of those incidents though.....each traumatic event that led to more discomfort and pain than I thought I could handle.....each of them brought me closer to this God I'm trying to get closer too and each of them was a tremendous learning experience.
No pain no gain, right? Remember.......this sobriety deal is a marathon, not a sprint, and all you have to do is do some running "today." Tomorrow will take care of itself.
Proud Neonephalist
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: North Coast BC Canada
Posts: 1,141
Originally Posted by doggonecarl
“Any use of drugs or alcohol, even in small quantities or for a short time, will effectively eliminate any improvement gained over that time, as it will keep the brain from healing.”
That scared me. I had come to far to start over. I believed that PAWS would soon pass. I wasn't sure my drinking would pass if I resumed that.
That scared me. I had come to far to start over. I believed that PAWS would soon pass. I wasn't sure my drinking would pass if I resumed that.
I'm 6.5 months sober and for some reason the urges have been coming fast and furious the last couple days. Even cigarettes have been smelling good and I haven't smoked in 15 years!
I figure it's a physiological battle playing out in my brain, where my limbic system is fighting to retain as many of the extra dopamine receptors created during years and years of alcohol abuse, and my brain is trying to take them away to reach what should be a normal number of them. My limbic system, with only base urges at its disposal in its quiver of tricks, uses these urges from all kinds of angles trying to manipulate my cognitive, thinking brain into deciding that just one drink wouldn't be so bad. Once that first drink gets in there, it'll be fireworks in the limbic system and I'd be drunk as a skunk in no time.
I know it's just a phase, and that they will diminish in both frequency and intensity with time over the length of the marathon.
Hey, whatever works, eh? I mean, if an invisible omnipotent entity can work for some people, why can't this work for me?
Murray
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Murray, When I read your post I pictured a battle in your mind and the monsters lookk like charachters from a painting by Hieronymus Bosch.
Last edited by LaFemme; 01-19-2011 at 10:02 PM. Reason: added first name
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: SoCal CA
Posts: 1,319
Stay strong. One thing I was able to find out during my relapse was I now react differently to alcohol in my system. It wasn't euphoric like I had hoped, and aside from feeling like I let myself and my family down. The cool buzz feeling never appeared, and it didn't make me feel happy anymore, basically it made me feel worse than it did when I quit to begin with.
I was looking to see if I could get the elation back, and the more I tried (the more I drank), the more I craved.....but I never reached that elusive buzz. And I tried really really really really hard, for a 4 day period and nothing but a terrible detox was there for my troubles. Cherish your sobriety and don't let your crazy alcoholic brain make you think there is something you are missing. I think it might sound a little sick, but I was more sad about the fact that I couldn't get that 4 beer buzz that used to last me about a half an hour and I ended up chasing the rest of the night, than relapsing to begin with. I chased and chased and it just left me a drunken craving fool. The joke was on me.
I was looking to see if I could get the elation back, and the more I tried (the more I drank), the more I craved.....but I never reached that elusive buzz. And I tried really really really really hard, for a 4 day period and nothing but a terrible detox was there for my troubles. Cherish your sobriety and don't let your crazy alcoholic brain make you think there is something you are missing. I think it might sound a little sick, but I was more sad about the fact that I couldn't get that 4 beer buzz that used to last me about a half an hour and I ended up chasing the rest of the night, than relapsing to begin with. I chased and chased and it just left me a drunken craving fool. The joke was on me.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: The Present
Posts: 425
I'll second what doggonecarl said. That sage advice from PAWS that one drink would obliterate my body and mind's recovery made me very reluctant to consider having a drink. i also found it very helpful when those cravings arrived to postpone a decision on those cravings for one day: Hang in there.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
When I need a re-charge ...I pray...go to an AA meeting
and find a newcomer to share with.
I keep my pink cloud when I give it away....
Well done on your sober time..
and find a newcomer to share with.
I keep my pink cloud when I give it away....
Well done on your sober time..
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: in the present
Posts: 7
Like CarolD, when I need a re-charge, I pray....go to an AA meeting (either face to face or online).....find a newcomer to share with and listen to. By doing those things my batteries get re-charged and that pink cloud all is right with me and the universe feeling is restored. In order for me to keep my sobriety and my program effective I have to give away what I have...and who better to give or share that with than a newcomer?
Well done on your sober time......and may it continue ad infinitum.
Well done on your sober time......and may it continue ad infinitum.
i've done my almost
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,934
Hi Julez-
PAWS. I never knew what this meant until I felt it and it SUCKED.
For me, it started about 7 or 8 months into my sobriety and I still feel the effects from time to time.
Can't thinks straight.
Equilibrium(sp?) off at times.
Headaches.
Cravings, but not strong, just sort of a hummm of wanting something, anything to feel different.
Memory problems
I'm over a year sober and like I said, it's better, but I'm still feeling the effects of my drinking and drug use.
I was very happy to read about it though and realize I wansn't simply going crazy though.
Hang in there and like someone else said - excersise helps me a lot.
Kjell
PAWS. I never knew what this meant until I felt it and it SUCKED.
For me, it started about 7 or 8 months into my sobriety and I still feel the effects from time to time.
Can't thinks straight.
Equilibrium(sp?) off at times.
Headaches.
Cravings, but not strong, just sort of a hummm of wanting something, anything to feel different.
Memory problems
I'm over a year sober and like I said, it's better, but I'm still feeling the effects of my drinking and drug use.
I was very happy to read about it though and realize I wansn't simply going crazy though.
Hang in there and like someone else said - excersise helps me a lot.
Kjell
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,760
I'm over a year too and get it from time to time: brain farts, sad for no reason, feeling a bit 'off', just not feeling as good as I usually do. But it goes away. It's hit or miss, it comes and goes. And the longer you're sober and the healthier you are, the less it will bother you.
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