reggiewayne

Hi all. So, today I was driving to my meeting. Not in a great mood, feeling sorry for myself. Thinking I should be further along in life since I quit drinking, wondering why my job wasn't going well, mad that the thought of drinking had come back recently - just basically being a baby...

I get into the meeting and I could tell right away (I was 5 min. late) that something was up. Soon I could tell what it was. There was a guy in the meeting so drunk it was scary. Saying how he hated himself, how is family hated him, spilling his coffee, crying, laughing, falling over in his chair, just basically a complete mess.

It was as if I had the ability to look at myself. To think that our disease actually tries and convince us that we want what he was showing is so scary to me. I have never planned on getting so drunk I acted like this person, but I know I have gotten to that point many times. It occured to me that we ALL need to be extreemly grateful that we are sober today. I need to stop wanting so much from life and just be grateful for what I have. 47 days ago I would HAVE KILLED to just have the burden of drinking removed from me. I just wanted to stop drinking, thinking of drinking, or thinking of not drinking but had no idea on how to do that.

Recently I have gotten cocky. I have read less, prayed less, participated here less, went to fewer meetings, have felt sorry for myself, and guess what - the thought of drinking made it's way back in my head. I haven't drank, but seeing this guy today has shown me that if I continue to keep doing what I'm doing (or rather not doing - my program of recovery) then I will end up drunk just like the guy in my meeting.

I need to stop having such high expectations on everything. Early on I was so thankful for being sober. Somewhere over the past month, that along has not been good enough. I have wanted more, and in turn I have not been as proud of my sobriety as I should. Irritability, discontent, and self-centered = recipie for my disease.

I am so grateful that today I am sober. I pray that I can go to bed sober, and then let tomorrow worry about tomorrow.

Thanks for listening!

ViciousCycle

Great post. You are really in touch with your inner self. Good for you!

Reset

Great post. Sometimes seeing the circumstances of people less fortunate than we are helps us realize how good we have it.

I used to think about that a lot, so thanks for the reminder.

SSIL75

Great post. You're an inspiration to me, RW. I really admire how you're embracing recovery.

Nikkle

I was that drunk person at the meeting a few months ago!

rws177

I have yet to experiance a drunk person at a meeting but I think my good friend told me she has seen this before. I'm glad to hear that him being there in that condition helped your sobriety though.

Kjell

I know exactly how you feel. I've been there and it it'll WAKE YOU THE F#$! UP REAL QUICK (or at least that how I would describe it).

We learn from everyone.

Maybe the next time you see him there, if he comes back, maybe you can talk to him and help him.

keithj

One day in rehab (don't you just love starting a sentence like that), this old guy gets led out onto the smoking porch. I say 'led' because he looked to have severe ataxia, could barely speak, eyes wouldn't focus. Looked like classic W-K "wet brain" stuff going on. It hit me hard, and I thought to myself, "Oh my God, that's me if I keep on drinking!"

Witnessing that did nothing to keep me sober, however.

Did anybody gently lead this guy out of the meeting and 12 Step him? Perfect opportunity.

reggiewayne

No the let him sit there and he'd interrupt, cross talk, laugh, cry, etc... It was very uncomfortable. I think people felt bad because this guy come to the meetings a lot and they didn't want to be rude. Someone did drive him home though. It was just sad. He didn't have an effing clue what was going on. It was honestly like he was mentally handicapped he was acting so bizarre. I guess, he was mentally handicapped because being drunk is being just that....

BTW Kieth "One day in rehab..." made me laugh histerically. You're right, that is one helluva way to start a sentence!!!

reggiewayne

Awww shucks (lol). Thank you for posting that. I like your posts too. Thanks for all of the replies!!!

Nikkle

I didn't act out, but I sure stunk to high Heaven of booze.

DrunkenBasement

Wow, reggie, great post. We are pretty much in the same place... I am at day 51, and also got a bit cocky, not going to meetings (I went to one Sunday for the first time in nearly 3 weeks), I haven't been reading my big book, and I haven't been coming around to SR much either. The thought of drinking hasn't really been there, but I need to get myself together, because it may be coming soon. I've been really down lately. Not sure why. But I need to do something differently... probably beginning with going to more meetings and changing something about my thought process. I have also been feeling irritable, discontent, and self-centered. I also know that it is a recipe for disaster, just waiting to happen.
Thank you. I'm glad I am not alone in this. Also glad I wasn't that guy... but know very well that I could be.

Good luck!!!

tomvlll

My "gratititude " for being sober is just more AA meeting blather . It don't mean jack if I don't show that by passing it on.

Kjell

We had this woman come in once and she really made an arse out of herself. A lot of the women in my group tried to gently talk to her, but she was too drunk, and too consumed with herself.

She kept talking out loud, standing up at random times saying "don't you guys drink, it's not worth it, I used to be sober and I was happy". She said these three things over and over at random times. It was embaressing and very uncomfortable for us all.

She then said "I've been drinking, just so you know". Uh...yeah, we all know sweetie, we all know.

Finally, someone said "please sit down and shut up" and of course she got angry at us all and left, but then came back and said "really guys, really?", left again, but then came back with her boyfriend and he was asking us why we kicked her out (hahaha).

I haven't seen her since. I'll never forget that meeting. It scared me right back to how delicate my sobriety is. Not much was said that meeting, but much was learned.

reggiewayne

Hey Tomvll, I don't follow. Can you please explain?

Thanks,

RW

artsoul

Hey reggie - great post! Sobriety does get to be the "norm" after a while, and whenever I've have something stay the same for a period of time, I start looking for "more"...... You reminded me today to be grateful so thanks!

Some days I can't remember exactly how it felt to fight that losing battle every day with alcohol, but coming here and reading the newcomers' posts sure brings it back into focus. I don't ever want to be at Day 1 again........

Thanks again reggie - you're doing great!

Hollyanne

A guy came into the meeting on Sunday night very drunk and disheveled.
Everyone noticed, no-one said anything. The speaker finished and opened the meeting.
After a couple of speakers, the drunk man spoke. He rambled a bit but the gist was that he was in a bad way. The speaker was an old-timer who was kind and told him to wait after the meeting and they would talk. He was crying and interjected a couple of times about his ex etc. He was treated kindly and patiently.
I went to the meeting tonight and the man was there again.

He was sober. He smiled, and he was greeted by tonight's speaker by name. When asked to share, he said his name and said he was glad to be there, and would just listen.

Another young man is bringing him to a step meeting on Thursday night.

That, I believe, was AA at work.

Spawn

awesome stuff..........sounds to me like God wanted you to see the exact nature of this disease we call alcoholism. Glad to hear your still sober...keep up the good work.

Justfor1

There was a man that came to one of the late night meetings that I use to chair. He was not only drunk but was threatening the women at the meeting and the police had to be called and he fought them outside the club! I never did see him again.

LexieCat

Lots of people show up drunk at AA meetings. A former member of one of our groups showed up lit to the gills several months ago, and we all asked him to come back. A guy in the group has been calling him regularly. Sunday night he showed up, and I noticed he was breathing into his hand when he came in. He said he'd been sober for a day.

Obviously it's best if people aren't so drunk they can't take in anything that is shared, but it's good--for everybody concerned--when they show up.