shantra32

It really does. I've been thinking alot about how before my drinking became uncontrollable, that I was much happier and full of life. I used to get up every day happy and eager to face the day. I had goals and actively pursued them. I smiled alot more. In the past 4 years, I have become an introvert and I smile alot less. I feel like my life has become a straight line and I don't feel joy about anything. I even find simple things like keeping the dishes from piling up exhausting. I somehow forgot how to live. I don't want that for myself. It took almost two weeks for my mindset to even out....I woke up yesterday feeling somewhat happy. I have decided to start a gratitide journal. I used to keep one years ago and every day I would write down 5 thngs that made me feel grateful that day. Over time, it shifts your way of thinking and you began to live life with much more joy and thankfulness. Well, so far this morning I am grateful for this:

- No hangover
- Day 15 of my sobriety
- A great nights sleep
- A lovely cup of coffee
- That roast I just put in the slow cooker is gonna make me grateful supper time

It's gonna be a good day. I hope everyone has a happy and sober Saturday. Take care...

Supercrew

Being that I started drinking at 15 I would even go farther and say it stunted my maturity so I never learned how to live happily sober to begin with.

yeahgr8

That's the one! For some it could even be something other than alcohol that has stunted the emotional growth with the person falling into drinking later in life...that to me is worse because then one can fixate on getting "back to normal" when "normal" was never a reality anyway...

shantra32

You got me to thinking.......if a person is a binge drinker and for most of their lives, it was a weekend thing, do you think that would stunt your emotional growth? I also started drinking at 15 but it was always a weekend thing up until about 4 years ago. I always heard that a persons maturity level stays at the age they start the addiction....but for some reason, I always pictured someone who abused daily....not sure why I thought that way.........

Zencat

I never really never learned how to live life in a somewhat adjusted way. Anytime the there was an opportunity of grown through trial, I retreated into the bottle. That keep me arrested in my emotional development. So now I am poised for the task of facing my challenges sober. Allowing me to an opportunity to find ways of coping with life's ups and downs vs stagnating in a perpetual stupor.

Fandy

Shantra, come and join us on the dailty gratitude threads.

Supercrew

I wasn't an alcoholic at 15 either, I was a binge drinker every weekend. I obsessed over it without even knowing it and it's basically all I looked forward to for 27 years of my life.

loveon2legs

I never really learned to live either..being in recovery Ive discovered who I really am!!

shantra32

Yeah.....that's pretty much what happened to me. I started drinking at 15 as well; after the first time.....I obsessed every weekend.....couldn't wait for Friday. It never occured to me to do something productive on the weekends. I just wanted to get wasted. I'm 37 now and I still have that stupid mindset.....Friday equals booze. That's where the change needs to happen. That being said, I didn't even think of it yesterday.

Saavik

Ain't life great? The first few days were awful, though. I never want that mess again, and I put every single painful minute of that in my journal so I wouldn't forget it...ever.

Whoever said we are creatures of habit must have been an alcoholic! Yow!

undercoverangel

Shantra, I could've written your post. I'm on day 15 also. Alcohol was changing me. I didn't like myself anymore. A sober life is so much better, and easier. I, too, would obsess about alcohol, and when I would get to drink again, what a horrible way to live.
Congratulations on your sober time! Every day gets better.

yeahgr8

Its funny how it works isn't it because i thought exactly the same as you...then in recovery you begin to understand that it wasn't the frequency of the drinking it was what the drinking was used for...

I binge drunk for years and looking back i can remember getting to the weekend and what a release that was, you know what i mean...on the first drink thank goodness for that wow! That was because all week i had been bottling up my feelings and pushing them down and when drinking time comes thats when i would deal with my feelings...of course this only teaches us to deal with them in one way and that is to drink...

Its the same as all the dry spells i had, i could do about 4 months dry after a consequence but eventually i would have to drink as i had basically no idea how to live...in those 4 months i would turn things around amazingly quick and then would be on a high and feeling some happiness so what do we do to celebrate? Drink...then when things turn a little bad what do we do for consolation? Drink...

This is why i turned to AA in the end because they were the only route to recovery that said what we have is a design for living...i didn't need someone to show me how to stop drinking as much as i needed someone to show me how to live once i had stopped drinking...and it works...bonus!!!

CarolD

We have a Forum...the Gratitude List with on going threads
You might want to join us there too.
Everyone is welcome to share there..it's very active...

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/gratitude-list/

It's the small things in life that keep me grateful.
Well done on your early progress...