Anyone Find Sobriety Boring?
Absolute Evil
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Charlotte NC
Posts: 206
Originally Posted by Freyakitty 
TheMaster, I also feel a bit of the alone-ness of feeling like friends aren't coming to me but that probably isn't a result of no longer drinking. I would guess that I am finally seeing true light of a situation - I have alot of friends back in Canada and that I "see" or am linked with on facebook but have they ever taken the first step in contacting me? No. But I'm learning that this is OK. I know people and you will probably too that you feel affinity for but aren't actively in contact with - you still like them but just haven't the inclination to connect with them. If you are feeling hurt by lack of communication maybe explore what you are making up in your head that it means? For example my oldest friend from School (I've known her 35 years) never contacts me. Every time I call, she says "Joanna, I've been meaning to call you - I'm such a crap friend....how are you? blah, blah, blah" And I say (usually drunk) "you are busy, no problem" and proceed to have a good ol' chat (drunk). But it hurt me that I'd always had to call her. I explored what that was all about and the truth is that all I was looking for was to recapture the good old high school days. It's time for me to grow up and meet friends that are current and relevant while being grateful for all the support and love that old friends have and do continue to provide.
Oh well..
April 18, 2010
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,117
Hey Master, I've been thinking about your question.
It seems to me there's two issues here -- boredom being one, loneliness being another. For a long time I put off getting sober because I thought it would be boring. The first days without drinking were always really difficult, because I had a huge gap where I would normally have been drinking every evening. This persisted the first few months when I quit -- I felt really strange having all this extra time. Now I no longer feel that way. My days are full, and not at all boring. I don't really know how I sacrificed that time in the first place.
But the second problem here, the friend issue, is something that I still struggle with. Taking drinking out of my old relationships definitely has changed them (and some I let go of entirely). And I'm still trying to make new, healthier friendships. Like others have said, I also see things in a more realistic light now, and that can be painful when it comes to examining relationships. I don't think these problems will solve themselves on their own -- so I'm trying to work on it. You aren't alone.
It seems to me there's two issues here -- boredom being one, loneliness being another. For a long time I put off getting sober because I thought it would be boring. The first days without drinking were always really difficult, because I had a huge gap where I would normally have been drinking every evening. This persisted the first few months when I quit -- I felt really strange having all this extra time. Now I no longer feel that way. My days are full, and not at all boring. I don't really know how I sacrificed that time in the first place.
But the second problem here, the friend issue, is something that I still struggle with. Taking drinking out of my old relationships definitely has changed them (and some I let go of entirely). And I'm still trying to make new, healthier friendships. Like others have said, I also see things in a more realistic light now, and that can be painful when it comes to examining relationships. I don't think these problems will solve themselves on their own -- so I'm trying to work on it. You aren't alone.
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