Trying This Again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 116
Trying This Again
Hi all just checking in.
I'm currently on the night of Day 4 in my most recent attempt to quit drinking (and hopefully the last) and it hasn't been too bad if I'm honest. The initial nausea, diarrhea, shaking, anxiety has stopped and to be honest my worst problem is feeling bouts of depression throughout the day and boredom/loneliness. I don't have a lot of friends and am not currently working so the days are feeling long at the minute. In the past when I've felt this boredom I've went to the store and got a bottle of something to try and numb the boredom.
I get annoyed with myself for feeling like this because I know there are so many worse off than me. I'm still young, have stopped this before any major health problems, have a roof over my head and have the support of my immediate family. There are just so many periods throughout the day when I feel empty. For the last few nights instead of drinking I've been reading SR and it has helped a lot. The thoughts that I'd usually be trawling the Internet drinking glasses of vodka have been replaced with sitting with a cup and my cat reading and educating myself is a plus.
I just keep telling myself that I can get through this, I know if I give in to alcohol I will have the same feelings of depression without the positive of my health and sobriety as well.
Anyway rant over, I hate myself for complaining and feeling selfish when I don't really have a right to be.
I'm currently on the night of Day 4 in my most recent attempt to quit drinking (and hopefully the last) and it hasn't been too bad if I'm honest. The initial nausea, diarrhea, shaking, anxiety has stopped and to be honest my worst problem is feeling bouts of depression throughout the day and boredom/loneliness. I don't have a lot of friends and am not currently working so the days are feeling long at the minute. In the past when I've felt this boredom I've went to the store and got a bottle of something to try and numb the boredom.
I get annoyed with myself for feeling like this because I know there are so many worse off than me. I'm still young, have stopped this before any major health problems, have a roof over my head and have the support of my immediate family. There are just so many periods throughout the day when I feel empty. For the last few nights instead of drinking I've been reading SR and it has helped a lot. The thoughts that I'd usually be trawling the Internet drinking glasses of vodka have been replaced with sitting with a cup and my cat reading and educating myself is a plus.
I just keep telling myself that I can get through this, I know if I give in to alcohol I will have the same feelings of depression without the positive of my health and sobriety as well.
Anyway rant over, I hate myself for complaining and feeling selfish when I don't really have a right to be.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Massapequ Park, NY
Posts: 24
Glad to see you trying again Bored!
Something I did to get me where I am now (day 8) is movies. I know it might sound corny, but I concentrated on movies I like to watch. I'm a big scifi fan, so I watched a bunch of movies (like the matrix, some anime movies, and a lot of comedies like wedding crashers and other misc. vince vaughn movies, hehe). It passed the time pretty well and kept my mind off things.
I also played a lot of video games. Blowing thing up and shooting virtual figures was quite the time passer.
I wish you the best, good luck!
Something I did to get me where I am now (day 8) is movies. I know it might sound corny, but I concentrated on movies I like to watch. I'm a big scifi fan, so I watched a bunch of movies (like the matrix, some anime movies, and a lot of comedies like wedding crashers and other misc. vince vaughn movies, hehe). It passed the time pretty well and kept my mind off things.
I also played a lot of video games. Blowing thing up and shooting virtual figures was quite the time passer.
I wish you the best, good luck!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Welcome back (((Bored3))). I know of many young people who have found recovery, even though they never hit a "low bottom". I wish I had done it, rather than get to my 40's before I started straightening my life out, but hopefully I still have plenty of time to enjoy. My life is WAY better than it was, ups and downs.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 116
Thanks for the kind words Dee and Least! 
Conk: I've been watching my box sets of Frasier in an attempt to pass the time so I'm in a similar situation to you. I find it does help to keep as focused on anything you can find.
Impurrfect: I understand what you're saying. I suppose I am "lucky" to only be 22, having started drinking when I was 18 and it only getting out of control from around 19/20. I feel I have wasted a lot of time in those years but it's done and drinking will only lead to more wasted time.
Carol: I have attended AA on two different occasions and honestly found it wasn't for me. I'm not anti-AA at all, I think it's a wonderful organisation that has helped so many people, I'm at the minute taking it slow and have only told my immediate people about my intentions to give up (i.e. the few people who have seen what I can do to myself).
So it's the night of Day 5. Got some work done today and kept as busy as possible. The sleeping pattern's still a little out there (slept 'til the afternoon yesterday, it's currently 3AM and I'm awake typing) but apart from that my head feels a little clearer. Had an argument with a family member today and took a twenty minute walk to clear my head (not to my usual haunt the liquor store).
Hopefully it's getting better. Thanks for your continued support.
Conk: I've been watching my box sets of Frasier in an attempt to pass the time so I'm in a similar situation to you. I find it does help to keep as focused on anything you can find.
Impurrfect: I understand what you're saying. I suppose I am "lucky" to only be 22, having started drinking when I was 18 and it only getting out of control from around 19/20. I feel I have wasted a lot of time in those years but it's done and drinking will only lead to more wasted time.
Carol: I have attended AA on two different occasions and honestly found it wasn't for me. I'm not anti-AA at all, I think it's a wonderful organisation that has helped so many people, I'm at the minute taking it slow and have only told my immediate people about my intentions to give up (i.e. the few people who have seen what I can do to myself).
So it's the night of Day 5. Got some work done today and kept as busy as possible. The sleeping pattern's still a little out there (slept 'til the afternoon yesterday, it's currently 3AM and I'm awake typing) but apart from that my head feels a little clearer. Had an argument with a family member today and took a twenty minute walk to clear my head (not to my usual haunt the liquor store).
Hopefully it's getting better. Thanks for your continued support.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 135
Well done for getting to day 5. 
I am with you re getting bored. I found cleaning & reading helps. Or reading and posting on SR.
I am also trying to loose some weight, so double whammy.
Keep up the good work.
J x
I am with you re getting bored. I found cleaning & reading helps. Or reading and posting on SR.
I am also trying to loose some weight, so double whammy.
Keep up the good work.
J x
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 7
Keep doing what you're doing Bored. Enjoy the control. I found the idea of having absolute control over this highly enjoyable (not to be confused with controlled drinking or moderated drinking) and perhaps that is the reason why I'm still alcohol free after 4 and a half months. The pleasure I get from knowing that I am in the position of power, at least I am for now usually outweighs the discomfort I'm feeling from wanting a drink and not being able to have one. I don't know if that's making any sense at all. AA keeps talking about giving in and admitting you're powerless, and frankly I don't understand the powerless part. After I gave in, and I admitted I had no control over my drinking, I felt so so much power and strength. I honestly enjoy those cravings that occur every so often. Maybe I'm slightly masochistic or egomaniac, maybe it's something else. But it definitely works for me. It's like every time I get a craving it's a chance for me to feel this awesome power and exercise the control over those desires. There are so many things in my life that happen without my involvement, and there's nothing I can do about them, and this is one of the very few things where I get to be the boss, where I can show my power and I emotionally get off on that. So I don't know...everyone's different. Different things work for different people. I wish you well.
P.S. I absolutely LOOOVEE "Frasier".
P.S. I absolutely LOOOVEE "Frasier".
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
Originally Posted by Nevermind1984
AA keeps talking about giving in and admitting you're powerless, and frankly I don't understand the powerless part. After I gave in, and I admitted I had no control over my drinking, I felt so so much power and strength.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 116
Checking in. No offence to either side but I'd rather this didn't turn into another AA Vs. Non-AA debate, I want to use this thread for my own personal journey.
jacknscoob: Thanks for the words. I've been trying to clean and throw out old junk in the spare time I've got. Hopefully I'll lose some of the gained alcohol weight as well, that would be a bonus! My diet isn't too bad without the alcohol so we'll see.
NeverMind1984: I know what you mean, it's good to have a clearer mind and focus again, hopefully this will only improve. One of the main things I like now is not having the consistent nagging thought of "when will I buy the drink", "I'll get it later", "have I got enough at home" etc. Even when I was drinking and didn't "need" it, I still had to have a certain amount in reserve to put my mind at rest.
Just checking in on the night of Day 6. I would like to think it's getting easier but I won't count my chickens. I still have periods of darkness throughout the day, be it loneliness or boredom I don't know. The only thing that sticks in my head is alcohol will not make it any better.
jacknscoob: Thanks for the words. I've been trying to clean and throw out old junk in the spare time I've got. Hopefully I'll lose some of the gained alcohol weight as well, that would be a bonus! My diet isn't too bad without the alcohol so we'll see.
NeverMind1984: I know what you mean, it's good to have a clearer mind and focus again, hopefully this will only improve. One of the main things I like now is not having the consistent nagging thought of "when will I buy the drink", "I'll get it later", "have I got enough at home" etc. Even when I was drinking and didn't "need" it, I still had to have a certain amount in reserve to put my mind at rest.
Just checking in on the night of Day 6. I would like to think it's getting easier but I won't count my chickens. I still have periods of darkness throughout the day, be it loneliness or boredom I don't know. The only thing that sticks in my head is alcohol will not make it any better.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 116
And here we are the night of Day 7. My sleeping still hasn't improved but maybe that's because of the amount of new energy I'm not taking away from me. One week down, lifetime to go.
Thanks for all the kind words over the last few days!
Thanks for all the kind words over the last few days!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 116
I post here on the evening of Day 10. It feels good to get into double figures, I know I've given up for a week here and there but I can't remember ever feeling this focused and positive of my sobriety to ten days. I know there's a long way to go, so let's go!
Big thanks to everybody who has contributed.
Big thanks to everybody who has contributed.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Congratulations on day 10! Good to see you posting your progress, too - that's a great idea. It always helps me to see my words on the page and know that others are going through the same things.....
Keep up the good work!
Keep up the good work!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
congrats on your Day 10.
I understand that your days seem long if you aren't working...have you considered any volunteer work? Hospitals are very receptive to taking volunteers in many different capacities, especially if you have good computer skills.
I understand that your days seem long if you aren't working...have you considered any volunteer work? Hospitals are very receptive to taking volunteers in many different capacities, especially if you have good computer skills.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Waterford MI
Posts: 4,202
The pleasure I get from knowing that I am in the position of power, at least I am for now usually outweighs the discomfort I'm feeling from wanting a drink and not being able to have one. I don't know if that's making any sense at all.
I felt powerful too. Everytime I said to myself, "No beer for you!"
in the nazi soup guy voice,
I felt good.
been over 14 years now.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 116
Checking in on the night of Day 14. Two weeks. It's gotten easier, I must admit, but I'm not letting my guard down. I've allowed myself to go to bars with people who were drinking and just stayed to soft drinks, a little tricky at first but it got easier with time.
The main thing that has gotten easier with time is just accepting alcohol as a no go area. I still occasionally have thoughts, or triggers, that would have sent me running for the bottle in the past, now it just comes and goes if I focus on something else.
Thanks everyone.
The main thing that has gotten easier with time is just accepting alcohol as a no go area. I still occasionally have thoughts, or triggers, that would have sent me running for the bottle in the past, now it just comes and goes if I focus on something else.
Thanks everyone.
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