I drank (and I don't care)
 

I'm venting as I expect this will be my last post for a while, at least until I develop a new course of action.

Another of my dear children has been diagnosed with an auto-immune disease (3 of 4 thus far). No one is going to die tomorrow but this is just another nail in the coffin of my marriage where we're together for the kids and drinking in spite of the situations.

All innocent kids, all undeserved illnesses.

Please don't ask me what I'm going to do differently next time - I know the routine and the best I have is "don't drink" when I get past this.

I feel like such an idiot even posting this but hope it's useful to see and read/delete in the future.

I'm conflicted - denial or harsh acceptance. FML

I'm sorry for your bad news meandonlyme...but you know as well as I do your kids need you. Feeling sorry for yourself is not what they need right now, man.

D

Exactly how does a child being diagnosed with an autoimmune disease give you an excuse to drink?
How does it help them?
Please reconsider your answer to this problem, I believe your answer will bring more pain.

Beth

We might want to take it easy on him guys, he's just venting. He certainly has an excuse to do THAT.

I'm so sorry about your children's medical issues, but how will you drinking make anything better? There is no situation so bad that drinking won't make worse. I can only imagine how upset you are about this latest diagnosis, but drinking will not change it. Your children can't escape into a bottle, so what makes you think you should have that option?

Thank you ZZ.
Of course he does.
Sorry I jumped the gun there MeandOnlyMe.
I drank my childrens toddlerhood away.
My own guilt and shame coming out here, and I must apologize.

Beth
recovering alcoholic.

I've heard some people say the road to recovery inevitably includes relapse. I'm not judging you just hope that this latest news doesn't drive you back to the bottle for an extended period of time. That is the road to nowhere imo

I'm really sorry to hear about your childrens illnesses :( Right or wrong I understand why you are drinking. When both my parents were plagued with such things I did the same thing. It didn't make anything better for me, in fact it made them worse but you probably already know that. This site is made for us to express our feelings so if it helps to come on here and vent then do so. Hope you feel better.

I'm just sorry that you have this diagnosis on your 3rd child. Hugs about that. I can see how upsetting it would be.
I'm not going to address the drinking at all. What I think you need are hugs for the pain of the diagnosis.
Maybe hugs and a good cry on a good friend's shoulder would feel better than a drink.

"don't drink" is perfect.

My marriage ended "suddenly" about 14 months ago and me and my two small kids were devastated.

Everyones advice to me was simply "don't drink."

Lean on your friends, pray, whatever has worked for you in the past. Even if you don't feel like it.

You can get through this sober.

I will buy into the fact that you are conflicted. BUT idiot??? Not even close. I hope you can hang in there..Just think ahead to hangovers and having to deal with all the stress with a hangover hanging over your head. Nobody wants that. I get really worried about people thinking of stepping out for a mental break. Some think there are always 2nd chances to sober up again. Your children need you. Heck we need you. Hang in there.

We are here for you! All we can do is carry your burden. We have all been there. Sorry!

Alcohol is a short term cure that can lead to long term problems, try to think about the big picture. I will say a prayer for you and your family.

Im sorry about your children's illness.

I can understand how angry you must be feeling. What has happened to you is really not fair. And I know how hard work one ill child can be, never mind three.
I can imagine it must be really really lonely for you if your marriage exists just for your children. I hope at least you are good friends to each other.

I want you to know my reply to you is just to offer my understanding to you. My sadness for you. The drinking I won't even comment on. What's happened is totally unfair - you have had more than your fair share. And it's up to you totally how you deal with it.

But keep coming here. Just cos you have had a drink does not mean you can't keep posting. It's not all over.

Wishing you and your family lots of love
xx

Sry you are going through rough time. I am glad you are sharing and many times just the sharing piece is good.

Wishing you strength. You know as well as I do that nothing will improve with drinking.

Sorry to hear this. Stay as safe as is possible and come back when you can.

Well when you come back SR will be here and so will all the other programs of recovery...nothing anyone can say will make any difference until you are ready to change...take care...

Take care of yourself Me and Only me. i understand a little of the feeling you're experiencing. My thoughts are with you and your family.

That is tough. I had an autoimmune disease when I was a kid. It was ITP. I needed my parents so much at that time. Especially my mom. I was worried about the illness but my parents were there for me.

If you don't care for yourself right now, maybe you should focus on the children and how they deserve sober parents while they are going through these trials.

I know you have to do it for yourself. But I use my kids and wife for motivation to stay sober sometimes.

I think it works best when you do it for yourself though. Anyway, thinking of you and sorry to hear of your situation.

please do the right thing...
 

Please please please stay clean and on the right path!!!
I lost my only child in 2009 very suddenly and un expectedly. He was 11 years old.
If only I would have beeen clean I would have cherished every moment of my sons life...instead, I was a drug addict and thought more about using more than spending quality time with my son.
Your kids need YOU to be FULLY there for them. They need the SOBER Dad...not the DRINKING Dad.
The "bottom line" is that if you cannot be clean and fully aware and appreciate every minute of every day with your kids...just let me say that you will live to regret it...just like ME...
Tomorrow is not promised to ANYONE!!! My son went to sleep one night and didn't wake up...again...ever. If only I could have those 11 years back...the ONLY regret I have is that if I would have been clean, I would have been a MUCH better parent!!!
Don't wait until its too late. YOU have the oppurtunity to DO THE RIGHT THING...please do IT and love on those precious littlechildren as much and as often as possible!!! Please put their well being FIRST...