I am NOT an Alcoholic!!!....and reasons why I am...
Ozone Ranger
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Dazed and confused
Posts: 138
Originally Posted by gold1009 
But alcohol is my friend and I don't want to quit drinking.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: northern state of mind
Posts: 15
Originally Posted by SSIL75
There are so many misconceptions and generalizations in your post that I find it almost insulting (and I'm not easily insulted). You're a thin devoted mom with a clean house so you can't be an alcoholic? Come on now.
It's pretty clear you have a problem with alcohol. So, now what?
It's pretty clear you have a problem with alcohol. So, now what?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 279
You do not know how others perceive you. You say other people envy you and perceive you as perfect. How on earth do you know this? You only know how you *think* they perceive you. You say that alcohol makes you a better person. According to who? I have yet to see alcohol make anyone a better person. You say you don't want to quit. Just curious as to how someone who doesn't want to quit drinking happened to stumble across this forum?
Just because nothing bad has happened doesn't mean it won't. Only you can decide whether you have a problem. The fact that you are here speaks volumes.
Just because nothing bad has happened doesn't mean it won't. Only you can decide whether you have a problem. The fact that you are here speaks volumes.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Great Outdoors
Posts: 1,992
I always went with the theory if you think you may have a problem...you got a problem! Making this short and sweet..alcohol is a very progressive disease. It has taken out more than a few very close friends of mine. The last death (just in November) was a friend that was 52 yrs old. That one p!ssed me off. He died 2 weeks short of his 53rd birthday. If car accidents and health problems don't get you..injuries from trips and falls will. One more thing I would like to add..
"I actually feel like people won't even like the sober me."
Drunk people are not as entertaining as they think they are. That is all I got to say about that...
"I actually feel like people won't even like the sober me."
Drunk people are not as entertaining as they think they are. That is all I got to say about that...
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Hi and welcome!
You've given this a lot of thought, your dad is an alcoholic and you are, to my way of thinking, hoping you wont have to quit your friend.
SSIL has a good point and was probably the bluntest poster so it upset you...that to me is the strongest indication of a problem I saw.
I live in a town where 75% of the women match your description to a T. Alcoholism is our towns dirty little secret. I'm glad you are here because it means you are cognizant of where you either are or are headed.
Good luck I hope you keep posting and reading...especially SSILs posts...she tends to know what she's talking about
You've given this a lot of thought, your dad is an alcoholic and you are, to my way of thinking, hoping you wont have to quit your friend.
SSIL has a good point and was probably the bluntest poster so it upset you...that to me is the strongest indication of a problem I saw.
I live in a town where 75% of the women match your description to a T. Alcoholism is our towns dirty little secret. I'm glad you are here because it means you are cognizant of where you either are or are headed.
Good luck I hope you keep posting and reading...especially SSILs posts...she tends to know what she's talking about
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 68
IMO you listed 23 reason you are an alcoholic, 4-5 rationalizations for drinking as often as you do and 20 sentences stating the obvious that you are not a 300lb, divorced, friendless, poor, homeless, unemployed failure...
You forgot the number 1 reason you are though in that you put an incredible amount of effort into trying to convince yourself you are not, on an internet message board for alcoholics....
When I first googled and found this site it was to see for myself how I was not an alcoholic....I wasn't as bad as "those people". Thinking back now my denial was kind of comic considering it is not like you just wake up one day and find a board like this for fun. I knew it then, just took a few years and a **** load more drinking to admit it to the person in the mirror.
You forgot the number 1 reason you are though in that you put an incredible amount of effort into trying to convince yourself you are not, on an internet message board for alcoholics....
When I first googled and found this site it was to see for myself how I was not an alcoholic....I wasn't as bad as "those people". Thinking back now my denial was kind of comic considering it is not like you just wake up one day and find a board like this for fun. I knew it then, just took a few years and a **** load more drinking to admit it to the person in the mirror.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 16
It does not upset me in the least to be called an alcoholic, in denial, foolish, defensive...or talked to firmly or aggressively to convince me of my problem...or whatever else. That is (subconsciously) what I came here for. I actually want people to say that.
What upsets me is that some posters (SSIL75 and others) assume that I am DUMB enough to truly believe that based on that one reason alone that I listed..(that I am a thin devoted housewife) that I can't be an alcoholic. And then, on top of that, say that they are "insulted" by that....Did they not read my OP?? I blatantly stated that each reason alone doesn't make sense??!!!
I do not, for one instant, believe that thin, devoted housewives (myself included) can't be alcoholics. Alcoholism is not prejudiced. It can effect every type of person. And it offended me that #1) someone actually took from my post that I don't understand that AND #2) anyone thinks that I'm dumb enough to believe that.
If you call out that reason alone..to me, it only sheds more light on your own insecurity----that you are "insulted" by a fellow alcoholic's fight in their own head. Which is why I don't care to hear anything else from that poster. I came here for help and I have enough of my own problems to deal with.
Anywho--even though I haven't responded a lot...I have read (and re-read, and re-read) every post on this forum. I basically believe and relate to everything said. There isn't one thing on here (besides, ahem, cough, previously mentioned) that was said that offended me.
The words that you all have said have been rattling around in my brain all weekend. I hate that AND like that all at the same time.
I want to thank so many of you individually but I can't yet send private messages (not enough posts) and there are so many on here that it would take a lot for me to address. Also, is the only way to "quote" by downloading the proper toolbar? Geezo Pete, I don't want to do that! So I have't taken the time to figure out how to quote people......
But just a few:::
Mark75--Thank you for pointing that out.
doggonecarl--The part where you said normal drinkers don't spend nearly the time I do thinking about drinking.....so true.
lushwell--The part about how your college roomies were drunks for awhile but now lead normal lives and some of us don't go down that same road. That resonated with me because my entire family and EVERY friend I have EVER known drinks...its hard to realize I may be different. You seem to have great insight but yet you "thanked" SSIL75?
nikkle--Hit the nail on the head!!! And yes, people have told me several times over the years that I should be a lawyer.
Carol--I cry everytime I read your post
jfanagle--Okay, your knitting reference really hit home. What a great way to put things. I too, do not have a knitting problem, but hmmm, I sure do think a lot about drinking. Thank you for your post. You worded things great. Thank you for your input. Besides that-- I just like the way you said things.
bellakeller--Dare I ask what happened to you 2 years ago?
readyandable--I wonder how many times I thought I have been a doting parent but really I wasn't.....
Anyway, to repeat, if I didn't address you it doesn't mean that I haven't read your post. I think I said before that I do believe I am an alcoholic but I don't want to live life without alcohol. I feel like I will miss it too much.
I'm glad I found this site. My biggest challenge now is to find the 'umph' to quit. Because alcohol at this point in my life hasn't brought me any tangible hardships or consequences. I want to be able to quit before that happens...but sometimes it seems so impossible. All my friends, my ENTIRE family (husbands and mine) drink. My dad is the only one I won't drink around. So how do I tell people I'm not drinking??--they will wonder why I'm not...
Maybe more later. This was a long post....thanks again. You all are great.
What upsets me is that some posters (SSIL75 and others) assume that I am DUMB enough to truly believe that based on that one reason alone that I listed..(that I am a thin devoted housewife) that I can't be an alcoholic. And then, on top of that, say that they are "insulted" by that....Did they not read my OP?? I blatantly stated that each reason alone doesn't make sense??!!!
I do not, for one instant, believe that thin, devoted housewives (myself included) can't be alcoholics. Alcoholism is not prejudiced. It can effect every type of person. And it offended me that #1) someone actually took from my post that I don't understand that AND #2) anyone thinks that I'm dumb enough to believe that.
If you call out that reason alone..to me, it only sheds more light on your own insecurity----that you are "insulted" by a fellow alcoholic's fight in their own head. Which is why I don't care to hear anything else from that poster. I came here for help and I have enough of my own problems to deal with.
Anywho--even though I haven't responded a lot...I have read (and re-read, and re-read) every post on this forum. I basically believe and relate to everything said. There isn't one thing on here (besides, ahem, cough, previously mentioned) that was said that offended me.
The words that you all have said have been rattling around in my brain all weekend. I hate that AND like that all at the same time.
I want to thank so many of you individually but I can't yet send private messages (not enough posts) and there are so many on here that it would take a lot for me to address. Also, is the only way to "quote" by downloading the proper toolbar? Geezo Pete, I don't want to do that! So I have't taken the time to figure out how to quote people......
But just a few:::
Mark75--Thank you for pointing that out.
doggonecarl--The part where you said normal drinkers don't spend nearly the time I do thinking about drinking.....so true.
lushwell--The part about how your college roomies were drunks for awhile but now lead normal lives and some of us don't go down that same road. That resonated with me because my entire family and EVERY friend I have EVER known drinks...its hard to realize I may be different. You seem to have great insight but yet you "thanked" SSIL75?
nikkle--Hit the nail on the head!!! And yes, people have told me several times over the years that I should be a lawyer.
Carol--I cry everytime I read your post
jfanagle--Okay, your knitting reference really hit home. What a great way to put things. I too, do not have a knitting problem,
but hmmm, I sure do think a lot about drinking. Thank you for your post. You worded things great. Thank you for your input. Besides that-- I just like the way you said things. bellakeller--Dare I ask what happened to you 2 years ago?
readyandable--I wonder how many times I thought I have been a doting parent but really I wasn't.....
Anyway, to repeat, if I didn't address you it doesn't mean that I haven't read your post. I think I said before that I do believe I am an alcoholic but I don't want to live life without alcohol. I feel like I will miss it too much.
I'm glad I found this site. My biggest challenge now is to find the 'umph' to quit. Because alcohol at this point in my life hasn't brought me any tangible hardships or consequences. I want to be able to quit before that happens...but sometimes it seems so impossible. All my friends, my ENTIRE family (husbands and mine) drink. My dad is the only one I won't drink around. So how do I tell people I'm not drinking??--they will wonder why I'm not...
Maybe more later. This was a long post....thanks again. You all are great.
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by gold1009
...but I don't want it to get to that point but I need to know how to find the "want" to quit drinking.
If you don't want to quit, pray for the willingness to want to. Or better yet, pray for the humility to mandate it.
But be careful when praying for humility, God tends to answer that prayer with a deluge.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Originally Posted by Boleo
But be careful when praying for humility, God tends to answer that prayer with a deluge.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Oregon
Posts: 265
Good to hear from you again Gold! You are not alone in your love for alcohol. In fact, I can't imagine why anyone who loves it would give it up without a good reason, yet the very fact that they love it is the warning shot being fired over their head. I remember in my younger days, thinking about how both my parents were alcoholics. I didn't want to go there, so I decided to have just one beer a week. A different imported kind each time. I quit all together for 4 years when I realized I spent all week thinking of that one beer and while I was drinking it, I wasn't enjoying it, I was already thinking about the next week's one beer. If only I had stayed quit, I wouldn't have 2 duis today! As far as SSIL75 is concerned, I think you two just got off on the wrong foot. Try not to focus on one person's comment. It will sap your energy and distract you from more important issues. Wishing you a happy healthy day!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 873
I didn't think I was an alcoholic when my first kid was born; I thought I had it under control too.
13 years later I look back and realize that my drinking had a negative impact on my relationship with my son and on the way that he turned out. Not that he turned out a bad kid but I had such different expectations and alcohol definitely got in the way of realizing those expectations.
It's sad. Really sad.
You have a limited window to positively impact the way your kids develop. And after a while the die becomes cast. Some of it can be undone but not everything.
Maybe that will help you decide what to do.
13 years later I look back and realize that my drinking had a negative impact on my relationship with my son and on the way that he turned out. Not that he turned out a bad kid but I had such different expectations and alcohol definitely got in the way of realizing those expectations.
It's sad. Really sad.
You have a limited window to positively impact the way your kids develop. And after a while the die becomes cast. Some of it can be undone but not everything.
Maybe that will help you decide what to do.
rode hard and put away wet
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 999
What happened to me two years ago:
I wasn't sure if I had a problem with alcohol but I was sure that my husband and I were on the verge of divorce and we went into counseling. My counselor suggested that maybe my drinking was causing problems (wasn't the only or even main problem in my marriage but my drinking certainly didn't help us out). I wasn't drinking during the day, just at night when my kids were in bed.
I started going to AA and found that it was harder to quit than I thought it would be. I would go to meetings, be sober for a while, then drink again, always saying to myself "baby steps". Though I was drinking less, it was harder for me and others to trust me. I never knew when my attempts to quit were going to fail and this was pretty telling or should have been.
Towards the end, I wasn't eating at all, on the off chance that I would be able to sneak a drink here and there. I would go days without eating even if I didn't get a chance to sneak a drink or two. By the end I was drinking mouthwash because it was easier to hide that. One day, my husband was out of town, I drank mouthwash after the kids were in bed. The phone went out. I'd passed out and my husband sent a friend over to check on me. The friend found me in bed completely passed out, with the door unlocked and the dogs outside so that they weren't able to protect us if anything happened. ANYTHING could have gone wrong and I would not have been able to act.
I was so sick. Alcohol made my thinking so sick or my sick thinking made me alcoholic - still not sure which. Probably a combo of both. I didn't realize how sick I was - I still thought I had it all together, just slipping up occasionally.
Years ago, if you told me I would end up in rehab I would have laughed my ass off, but that's indeed where I ended up. And it happened so fast. When I got to the center they discovered I was days away from dying of anemia. If I hadn't agreed to go into treatment, I might have dropped dead of something that is curable.
I had quit drinking during the years in which I was having and nursing my children. You would think I could quit again without any issues. I had everything under control. Or thought I did. But my world was so small and thus manageable and got smaller when I started drinking again. It started innocently. Then just got so much worse and worse as time went on.
I am in AA and more than a year sober now. My life has gotten bigger and there isn't this huge need to be in control all the time. I don't have it all together and that's OK today - my life is richer for it and my relationships are so much deeper now. That's all AA. It's helped my be more than just a recovering alkie.
I wasn't sure if I had a problem with alcohol but I was sure that my husband and I were on the verge of divorce and we went into counseling. My counselor suggested that maybe my drinking was causing problems (wasn't the only or even main problem in my marriage but my drinking certainly didn't help us out). I wasn't drinking during the day, just at night when my kids were in bed.
I started going to AA and found that it was harder to quit than I thought it would be. I would go to meetings, be sober for a while, then drink again, always saying to myself "baby steps". Though I was drinking less, it was harder for me and others to trust me. I never knew when my attempts to quit were going to fail and this was pretty telling or should have been.
Towards the end, I wasn't eating at all, on the off chance that I would be able to sneak a drink here and there. I would go days without eating even if I didn't get a chance to sneak a drink or two. By the end I was drinking mouthwash because it was easier to hide that. One day, my husband was out of town, I drank mouthwash after the kids were in bed. The phone went out. I'd passed out and my husband sent a friend over to check on me. The friend found me in bed completely passed out, with the door unlocked and the dogs outside so that they weren't able to protect us if anything happened. ANYTHING could have gone wrong and I would not have been able to act.
I was so sick. Alcohol made my thinking so sick or my sick thinking made me alcoholic - still not sure which. Probably a combo of both. I didn't realize how sick I was - I still thought I had it all together, just slipping up occasionally.
Years ago, if you told me I would end up in rehab I would have laughed my ass off, but that's indeed where I ended up. And it happened so fast. When I got to the center they discovered I was days away from dying of anemia. If I hadn't agreed to go into treatment, I might have dropped dead of something that is curable.
I had quit drinking during the years in which I was having and nursing my children. You would think I could quit again without any issues. I had everything under control. Or thought I did. But my world was so small and thus manageable and got smaller when I started drinking again. It started innocently. Then just got so much worse and worse as time went on.
I am in AA and more than a year sober now. My life has gotten bigger and there isn't this huge need to be in control all the time. I don't have it all together and that's OK today - my life is richer for it and my relationships are so much deeper now. That's all AA. It's helped my be more than just a recovering alkie.
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