I am NOT an Alcoholic!!!....and reasons why I am...
Another Day in Paradise
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Upland, CA
Posts: 900
I will echo what others before me have written:
I have become a firm believer that the best description of someone with an alcohol problem is someone that finds themselves factoring their consumption of alcohol into the way that they are living their life. In other words, does alcohol in ANY way impact the way you live your life on a daily basis?
I do not knit, at no time when I plan my day, or reflect on the day at night do I contemplate what impact knitting had or could have on my day to day behavior. I can safely say that "I DO NOT HAVE A KNITTING PROBLEM." No KA for me.
With regard to your last statement about "But, nothing bad has ever happened to me because of my drinking." Reminds me of the fellow who falls off a 10 story building and as he passes the 5TH floor he calls out, "SO FAR SO GOOD!"
With my drinking it was no problem for some 20 years, until it was. It isn't the fall that kills you; it is the sudden stop at the end.
Just my thoughts.
Jon
I have become a firm believer that the best description of someone with an alcohol problem is someone that finds themselves factoring their consumption of alcohol into the way that they are living their life. In other words, does alcohol in ANY way impact the way you live your life on a daily basis?
I do not knit, at no time when I plan my day, or reflect on the day at night do I contemplate what impact knitting had or could have on my day to day behavior. I can safely say that "I DO NOT HAVE A KNITTING PROBLEM." No KA for me.
With regard to your last statement about "But, nothing bad has ever happened to me because of my drinking." Reminds me of the fellow who falls off a 10 story building and as he passes the 5TH floor he calls out, "SO FAR SO GOOD!"
With my drinking it was no problem for some 20 years, until it was. It isn't the fall that kills you; it is the sudden stop at the end.
Just my thoughts.
Jon
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 16
Thank you to EVERYone (except for SSIL75--Your post was worthless to me and frankly I find it telling of your personality for you to pick that ONE thing mentioned out of my entire list and assume that I'm saying that that reason alone is why I can't be an alcoholic? And you say you're not easily insulted? but that insulted you!!?! Funny. Not sure if you just didn't read my entire post OR if you aren't intelligent enough to understand it. Either way, I won't be listening to anything you have to say) for all your posts and great information. I relate to alot of what is said. I am saving this and will come back and re-visit. I guess I have a lot of soul-searching and thinking to do.
I think deep down I probably do realize I am an alcoholic OR at the very minimum drink too much to where it will cause me health problems. Like many of you said, that is why I found this sight, have done lots of research and made this post. Non-alcoholics/people with no drinking problem don't do this!!! And also, if it isn't obvious, I was playing devil's advocate so I COULD hear reasons why I was.......
But alcohol is my friend and I don't want to quit drinking. I feel like I will miss it so much. I actually feel like people won't even like the sober me.
I hope to repost again. I actually wanted to touch on so many specific things different individuals said but I don't have the time right now. And no, I'm not drinking today
Best to all of you. This is a great sight and source of information and I'm glad I found it. Thank you, thank you, thank you again!!!!!
I think deep down I probably do realize I am an alcoholic OR at the very minimum drink too much to where it will cause me health problems. Like many of you said, that is why I found this sight, have done lots of research and made this post. Non-alcoholics/people with no drinking problem don't do this!!! And also, if it isn't obvious, I was playing devil's advocate so I COULD hear reasons why I was.......
But alcohol is my friend and I don't want to quit drinking. I feel like I will miss it so much. I actually feel like people won't even like the sober me.
I hope to repost again. I actually wanted to touch on so many specific things different individuals said but I don't have the time right now. And no, I'm not drinking today
Best to all of you. This is a great sight and source of information and I'm glad I found it. Thank you, thank you, thank you again!!!!!
Another Day in Paradise
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Upland, CA
Posts: 900
"alcohol is my friend "
Inanimate objects are not friend or foe. You might want to print those 4 words out in very large type and paste them to your vanity mirror, when you begin to wonder just how much alcohol has taken control of your life.
I will ask your forgiveness in advance as I do not mean to choose just one statement, but that one may be chilling for you in it's implications as well as giving you a preview of just what so many of us came to find out (alcohol wasn't my friend) when I got further down life's road than you are.
An old friend of mine once told me that when I compared my behavior to others who were much worse that I ever was, he suggested that when I said, "I haven't done THAT" perhaps I might want to I finish the sentence with YET!
Inanimate objects are not friend or foe. You might want to print those 4 words out in very large type and paste them to your vanity mirror, when you begin to wonder just how much alcohol has taken control of your life.
I will ask your forgiveness in advance as I do not mean to choose just one statement, but that one may be chilling for you in it's implications as well as giving you a preview of just what so many of us came to find out (alcohol wasn't my friend) when I got further down life's road than you are.
An old friend of mine once told me that when I compared my behavior to others who were much worse that I ever was, he suggested that when I said, "I haven't done THAT" perhaps I might want to I finish the sentence with YET!
rode hard and put away wet
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 999
It's scary. I could have written your post myself about 3 years ago. Only I would have said two kids and that I was two years older and my husband and I had only been together fourteen years by that time and I am 5' 1" 104 pounds.
I almost died two years ago from alcohol and sick thinking.
I almost died two years ago from alcohol and sick thinking.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
A friend? A friend would want you to live a long, healthy life. To be at peace with yourself. To worry less about image and more about reality. To see your child grow up, for goodness sake.
That's what all of us—total strangers—are talking about. And you think alcohol is your friend?
That's what all of us—total strangers—are talking about. And you think alcohol is your friend?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: South Dakota, USA
Posts: 1,429
Originally Posted by gold1009 
But alcohol is my friend and I don't want to quit drinking.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: The Sooner State
Posts: 1,725
Originally Posted by CarolD
Welcome....
Motivation? you have a precious child to mentor and care for
I've never met anyone who said....
"I'm so proud my parent was a drinker"
Motivation? you have a precious child to mentor and care for
I've never met anyone who said....
"I'm so proud my parent was a drinker"
Carol--This brought tears to my eyes. Very insightful!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Me too, Carol. Well, no tears, but you know what I mean. Last night I was laughing and having a great time with my 6-year-old daughter at dinner, and it occurred to me that although in most respects I've always been a doting parent, I'm there for her now in a way I never could be if I were still drinking.
New to Real Life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: I come in Peaces
Posts: 2,071
Originally Posted by gold1009
Thank you to EVERYone (except for SSIL75--Your post was worthless to me and frankly I find it telling of your personality for you to pick that ONE thing mentioned out of my entire list and assume that I'm saying that that reason alone is why I can't be an alcoholic? And you say you're not easily insulted? but that insulted you!!?! Funny. Not sure if you just didn't read my entire post OR if you aren't intelligent enough to understand it. Either way, I won't be listening to anything you have to say)
Alrighty then!
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Originally Posted by gold1009
But alcohol is my friend and I don't want to quit drinking. I feel like I will miss it so much. I actually feel like people won't even like the sober me.
I'm not saying you're doing this Gold, but consider if it's possible that what you think about sobriety is off base? I know it sure was for me....mostly because I assumed sobriety was "not drinking." Sure, not drinking booze is part of it but that alone would not have been enough for me to want it. I needed to know how to deal with life, how to have fun, how to handle problems, what to do when I was scared....or happy......etc. I needed a program of recovery to teach me that stuff. Without it, "not drinking" tends to add weight to my life....until I can't take it any longer...and sooner or later I convince myself it's ok to go back to it "just this once."
That's the death-spiral alcoholics find themselves in..... Able to quit, but life dry is horrible so they go back out, do more damage drinking, resolve to quit again, stay stopped for a while until life piles up on them again.....then go back out again..... over and over and over.
Thankfully, I was forced under threat of jail to go to AA (and I sure as heck didn't want to - believe me) and I found the AA program of living....... that's really what it is.... "how to live happily....and not drink too."
Keep your eyes and heart open. If you really want to find a happy life and you're willing to try different things, I'm sure you can find it (even though, sometimes, it's in places we don't think it is.
)
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 46
If youre even on this forum you probably need help, thats just my opinion. It took my years of drinking before i finally actually searched on addiction as i was in denial for a long time. I had all kinds of excuses and would tell my family members such. My biggest excuse was (Im in a phaze, i just started drinking) or (I can quit when i want to) or (I only do it when im stressed etc)
But now after reading this forum and doing some soul searching i realize that i do have a problem. I would advise you to stop drinking for your families sake and your own.
But now after reading this forum and doing some soul searching i realize that i do have a problem. I would advise you to stop drinking for your families sake and your own.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 344
I'm alanon. I have never posted in this forum before ever.
I was an alcoholic in training for several years as my exh and i drank extensively. He is an alcoholic, I am not. I was certainly abusing alcohol during those years.
How do I distinguish and draw the line? I can have a drink or not, and hardly care if I don't, and can go weeks without a drink. He feels compelled to drink, and daily.
What's wrong with the middle of the day, 1 p.m. that it needs alcohol? Is reality at 1 p.m. really that nasty that you need a drink? What lies behind that? How come you need to alter reality in the middle of the day? I guess you don't like the reality that much, and are self-medicating to avoid that TRUTH. So you think you are in control. You're not that much in control if reality bothers you smack in the middle of the day that you can't stand it and have to drink. Control==an illusion people believe in.
You think others think your life is perfect, or they think you are perfect.
I can guaranttee you that this is not true. This above bothers me very much. It is alcoholic thinking, egotistical, and not to dis you one bit--but what others truly think of you, you are not privvy to. People are generally nice and keep their negative thoughts about others to themselves. Humility is key to understanding alcoholism.
You think you are liked so much better when you are drinking. Now just what is so boring about you when you are not drinking? Social events are superficial. When you drink, you feel intoxicated, so you believe that you are so much more entertaining. This may not be others perception at all. Ever seen a drunk person that thought something lame was very funny? Haven't we all. Others won't like you as much sober? Well, that's just sad. Maybe! Maybe just maybe--they will like a grounded in reality you even better, even if they like you a lot now.
Give up the illusion that you know what others think about you. Give up the illusion of control--none of us are "in control".
Those things jumped out at me. Other things about you are certainly wonderful, and please don't take the criticism without realizing that I recognize that you have other thoughts and qualities that people in your life love about you very much.
I was an alcoholic in training for several years as my exh and i drank extensively. He is an alcoholic, I am not. I was certainly abusing alcohol during those years.
How do I distinguish and draw the line? I can have a drink or not, and hardly care if I don't, and can go weeks without a drink. He feels compelled to drink, and daily.
What's wrong with the middle of the day, 1 p.m. that it needs alcohol? Is reality at 1 p.m. really that nasty that you need a drink? What lies behind that? How come you need to alter reality in the middle of the day? I guess you don't like the reality that much, and are self-medicating to avoid that TRUTH. So you think you are in control. You're not that much in control if reality bothers you smack in the middle of the day that you can't stand it and have to drink. Control==an illusion people believe in.
You think others think your life is perfect, or they think you are perfect.
I can guaranttee you that this is not true. This above bothers me very much. It is alcoholic thinking, egotistical, and not to dis you one bit--but what others truly think of you, you are not privvy to. People are generally nice and keep their negative thoughts about others to themselves. Humility is key to understanding alcoholism.
You think you are liked so much better when you are drinking. Now just what is so boring about you when you are not drinking? Social events are superficial. When you drink, you feel intoxicated, so you believe that you are so much more entertaining. This may not be others perception at all. Ever seen a drunk person that thought something lame was very funny? Haven't we all. Others won't like you as much sober? Well, that's just sad. Maybe! Maybe just maybe--they will like a grounded in reality you even better, even if they like you a lot now.
Give up the illusion that you know what others think about you. Give up the illusion of control--none of us are "in control".
Those things jumped out at me. Other things about you are certainly wonderful, and please don't take the criticism without realizing that I recognize that you have other thoughts and qualities that people in your life love about you very much.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
Gold, glad you posted and welcome.
No labeling here. I was many a great thing in my life and it took me many years to see that an alcoholic was one of them.
If it is something that concerns you then stop drinking. I found asking myself why do I drink to be the real question. Yeah, I drank years back socially and it was maybe 1 or 2 here and there. Then I began turning to that to help me through other things in my life that I didn't know how to do with and I enjoyed that quick escape.....calm....numbing effect alcohol provided.
Look, I didn't become an alcoholic overnight but 10 years of abusing my physical and mental health....even though for most it I was able to keep up with the Jones'....brought me to the point where I didn't want it anymore and to live like that. For me it consumed me and was sadly progressive. Began to effect my personal relationships and my self esteem, drive, all of it went out the window. There was no nice introduction to alcoholism for me.....it was sneaky, slow and when it had me.....it made me feel hopeless that change could happen.
There is no diagnosis here from me. If you are concerned about drinking then do something about it.
Take a read through the forums. I found SR to really open my eyes to something that I sadly was living but didn't understand.
All the best!
No labeling here. I was many a great thing in my life and it took me many years to see that an alcoholic was one of them.
If it is something that concerns you then stop drinking. I found asking myself why do I drink to be the real question. Yeah, I drank years back socially and it was maybe 1 or 2 here and there. Then I began turning to that to help me through other things in my life that I didn't know how to do with and I enjoyed that quick escape.....calm....numbing effect alcohol provided.
Look, I didn't become an alcoholic overnight but 10 years of abusing my physical and mental health....even though for most it I was able to keep up with the Jones'....brought me to the point where I didn't want it anymore and to live like that. For me it consumed me and was sadly progressive. Began to effect my personal relationships and my self esteem, drive, all of it went out the window. There was no nice introduction to alcoholism for me.....it was sneaky, slow and when it had me.....it made me feel hopeless that change could happen.
There is no diagnosis here from me. If you are concerned about drinking then do something about it.
Take a read through the forums. I found SR to really open my eyes to something that I sadly was living but didn't understand.
All the best!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Vancouver BC
Posts: 56
Interesting topic. I worry about becoming an alcoholic so I try to limit my drinking. I like to drink wine,especially red wine with my lunch and dinner. I limit myself to 2 or 3 small 5oz only each glass) and then don't have anymore but this happens almost everyday.THis has started in the last 5 years since my ah died. I don't like wine without food so I am getting fat. What should I be very watchful for to know it is progressive. I won't drink and drive and I don't do drugs. I wouldn't say that I am a problem drinker or an alcoholic, but I do drink every day. I am signing up for the Bernstein Diet in late spring and zero alcohol is allowed so I am guessing that will be interesting to see how it feels,
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
Originally Posted by CSHNow
I worry about becoming an alcoholic so I try to limit my drinking.
Not sure about specifics for signs of progression as everyone is different but the above thinking is what I what I had for a very long time. Spent much time dwelling on drinking and trying to moderate, cut back, etc. Now that was extremely unhealthy. When I did try to quit....the physical withdrawal was rough but quick.....it was the subsequent thinking that led me right back to it so I got into recovery. I found I quit the alcohol but I couldn't quit being an alcoholic. I am blessed now without it in my life and have so much more then I could have imagined thanks to my support in recovery. Nice not to wonder if I had too much or if someone would find out. Very dark days for me indeed.
Take a read through the forums and if you are concerned then remove it and see how you feel.
All the best.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
I never understood that normal people do not ever, ever, ever think about moderating alcohol intake...crazy huh?! I absolutely believed that everyone at some point in their life had thought that they had better cut down on the booze?!
Had a convo with a friend in recovery about when i was with a group of non-alcoholics and we were talking about dying and i made a comment like everyone has thought of suicide at least one in their life...once again, lol, i found normal people (by normal i mean the high 90% off the population) have never thought this and it wouldn't even cross their mind...
How distorted is our perception of the world?! And the convo above was only a month ago?! Funny huh?!
Had a convo with a friend in recovery about when i was with a group of non-alcoholics and we were talking about dying and i made a comment like everyone has thought of suicide at least one in their life...once again, lol, i found normal people (by normal i mean the high 90% off the population) have never thought this and it wouldn't even cross their mind...
How distorted is our perception of the world?! And the convo above was only a month ago?! Funny huh?!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Lake Tahoe CA
Posts: 1,098
Originally Posted by gold1009
Thank you to EVERYone (except for SSIL75--Your post was worthless to me and frankly I find it telling of your personality for you to pick that ONE thing mentioned out of my entire list and assume that I'm saying that that reason alone is why I can't be an alcoholic? And you say you're not easily insulted? but that insulted you!!?! Funny. Not sure if you just didn't read my entire post OR if you aren't intelligent enough to understand it. Either way, I won't be listening to anything you have to say) for all your posts and great information. I relate to alot of what is said. I am saving this and will come back and re-visit. I guess I have a lot of soul-searching and thinking to do.
I think deep down I probably do realize I am an alcoholic OR at the very minimum drink too much to where it will cause me health problems. Like many of you said, that is why I found this sight, have done lots of research and made this post. Non-alcoholics/people with no drinking problem don't do this!!! And also, if it isn't obvious, I was playing devil's advocate so I COULD hear reasons why I was.......
But alcohol is my friend and I don't want to quit drinking. I feel like I will miss it so much. I actually feel like people won't even like the sober me.
I hope to repost again. I actually wanted to touch on so many specific things different individuals said but I don't have the time right now. And no, I'm not drinking today
Best to all of you. This is a great sight and source of information and I'm glad I found it. Thank you, thank you, thank you again!!!!!
I think deep down I probably do realize I am an alcoholic OR at the very minimum drink too much to where it will cause me health problems. Like many of you said, that is why I found this sight, have done lots of research and made this post. Non-alcoholics/people with no drinking problem don't do this!!! And also, if it isn't obvious, I was playing devil's advocate so I COULD hear reasons why I was.......
But alcohol is my friend and I don't want to quit drinking. I feel like I will miss it so much. I actually feel like people won't even like the sober me.
I hope to repost again. I actually wanted to touch on so many specific things different individuals said but I don't have the time right now. And no, I'm not drinking today
Best to all of you. This is a great sight and source of information and I'm glad I found it. Thank you, thank you, thank you again!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Vancouver BC
Posts: 56
I think an awful lot of us (folks over 40) are beginning to wonder if we may drink too much, too often, or too regularly, or whatever. Drinking is in the News a great deal and I personally know many people who seem to always be drinking, not to excess, but frequently. Almost as if drinking is a mandatory part of any social event or get together. Now here in BC we have new drinking and driving laws and zero tolerance, so drinking when not at home is extremely risky. Lose your car, your licence, spend time in jail plus, plus. The drinking issue is always in our faces... Time was that people would go out to clubs, pubs, sporting events, house parties, etc. enjoy a few drinks and then go home.
Often now I hear of people becoming totally inebriated and falling down drunk, still trying to party on and still trying to drive ! What's made the change ???? Why are so many so desperate to seek oblivion ??
Often now I hear of people becoming totally inebriated and falling down drunk, still trying to party on and still trying to drive ! What's made the change ???? Why are so many so desperate to seek oblivion ??
One moment at a time.
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 213
I can't label you as anything, it is only you that can label you as an alcoholic or a non-alcoholic... I am an alcoholic, a real one as defined by the big book.. But as for you, you can only decide that for yourself.
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