sleepie

I am really lonely. I have only a small handful of friends, they are good friends however one has a drinking problem and his wife is my best friend. I also told one other person that I am through spending time with him- he is a very dedicated alcoholic and has been abusive to me in the past. I am on a self implied 4 month dating hiatus, because only creeps like me. I am so lonely though. Lately my life has been go to work- come home, spend the night alone and unable to sleep... repeat and repeat. When I am sad like this I can't concentrate n a movie or book or anything.

sleepie

Well 40 more minutes to go and the liquor store closes.

Dee74

I know you can make the right choice sleepie

I hope you get the chance to do something other than work/sleep soon

D

sleepie

I'm lonely and sad either way Dee. I want to go get that nice bottle of Belgian beer. And I'm so nervous about not getting the job- again. I'm afraid of getting the job too. I hate doing everything so alone.

sleepie

My X-mas bonus was a bottle of dessert wine and I gave it away. I am kicking myself now... Again, I fell asleep this afternoon and now I am just awake yet tired, with the wheels turning

TheSunAlsoRises

Thats normal in early sobriety Sleepie, you know where that drink leads. And I know you don't have to take it. Its not easy, but its worth it. Keep the faith,

Clayton

kiki5711

:day6:day6

Loneliness is a bitch. I hope you find some "good" way to occupy your mind until you find someone.

Isaiah

Hey Sleeps,

There are times for us all when we want the beer, but we also don't want all the wreckage that seems to follow drinking.

It's said that if you have a problem with alcohol, you ought to maybe stay out of bars. Until things mellow out a bit.

I think it's also true that if you're having emotional problems, you ought to stay out of relationships. Until things mellow out a bit.

Taking some time to adjust is a good thing. And you don't need to avoid the world to get some clean time and personal growth. Just takes a bit of bravery to get out and try something new with the crowd. Meditation group. Graphic novel book club. Some charity volunteer at a few hours a week.

ZZworldontheweb

Yeah, when the mental hamsters start running in their wheel, you have to throw the brakes on them.

I'm trying to remember if you've tried AA before. I know lots of people have said this , but you might find people there who you have common ground with. Lots of sharp people there too, taking responsibility for their own lives.

SSIL75

Early sobriety can be very lonely (especially I think for people like you who have yoyo'd a lot with your efforts). But I was never as lonely sober as I was when I was drunk. You'll find new people to share you life with. Don't give up. You'll only end up back in the same place again in a few weeks. You owe it to yourself to give it a real go this time.

mercyschild30

When I walked in to my first aa meeting I didnt have a friend in the world everyone had turned against me including my family!!!!! from the moment I walked in that meeting I knew I would never be friendless again!!!!

least

I am an 'empty nester' as my kids are all adults now and living elsewhere (except for ck who comes home on breaks). I've always been comfortable being alone tho and don't mind it much. I do, however, have a big dependence on my dogs (and cats). They keep me from feeling too lonely and give me something to do in taking care of them. My purpose in life these days is to 'baby' my dogs, to make them as healthy and happy as they can be. I'd be lonely without my animals... and their unconditional love.

They also help keep me sober as I take so much better care of them sober.

sleepie

I want a cat so bad least! My roomie is allergic though. He has a disgusting lizard, it's as big as a dinosaur. Well anyway I avoided drinking last night and now I have to go to work and tomorrow first thing I have an interview and I am already wondering how I am going to do it on little or no sleep because I know I will be too nervous to sleep. I already am, I have been nervous about it for days. I am sick of living like this on minimum wage and I want my own place and my own life again... I have come so close before yet always missed it, I feel like I'm chasing the carrot on a stick. I am just consumed with fear and sadness over this interview, I want to be left alone and prepare but I have to work until later this evening. I am really out of sorts and upset.

Nikkle

Good morning Sleepie! So glad you made it another day! I get to feeling lonely a lot too even though I have a man and 5 kids, haha! It might help for you to think of this early recovery time as a gift you are preparing for yourself and your future mate. Each day you make it through, you become stronger and healthier. You are building up your skills to become that wonderful person you know you are in your heart. Your intentions will some day be your reality! Try not to fret over the new job, if it is meant to be, you will get it. Big hugs from you SR friends!

TheMaster

Pretty much most of my life has been alone, drinking or sober... You get used to it, after awhile. Nothing to get down about.

You'll open up in time.

Dee74

Wishing you a good day, a restful night, and the very best on your interview sleepie
good luck!

D

Quickened

Hope your interview goes well!

sleepie

Thanks I need all the luck I can get.

UniqueNewYork

Hi Sleepie I can relate with a lot of your feelings such as loneliness and anxiety. I have two trains of thought. First you should know I was an atheist for a long time. Today I believe in a higher power of my understanding I choose to call God. It took me a long long time to believe in something but I really do today. To build a relationship with my HP I started by reciting everything I was thankful for in my life. On some nights I would make a prayer of protection asking my HP to look out for everyone from my pet to my relatives. I found that nights I did these prayers I had a much more restful sleep, and the feeling of being alone left me even though I was alone in my bed.

If you stay sober the friends will come I promise you. I made some awesome friends through AA. I also met people I did not care for. When you are new to AA the whole thing is overwhelming at times, especially if you have large groups like I do with a lot of people and personalities. Try to find "Giver" types and avoid the "Taker" types is one of the best advice I can give. I found that the more I hung out with Givers, the more I wanted to be a part of AA, and vice versa.

reggiewayne

HI Sleepie. You really sound like you need a support group (IMO). When I entered AA I was completely isolated. I had my wife and that was it. The only freinds I had were drinkers and we only hung out if we were going to drink. I think that a very valuable piece of recovery is meeting new people that share our interests. For me, recovery is at the top of my interest lists.

I'm not sure if you're open to AA and if not I'm sure there are other support groups out there, the fellowship has really helped me. More than this site even. Humans are social creatures, we are not designed to spend our time alone. I've read many of your posts and you definitley seem to be serious in your desire to stop drinking. For me, without my AA group it would be so much harder to stop on my own.

Just my 2 cents. Hang in there!