For the 12-step people - What do yo think of this?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: CA
Posts: 268
For the 12-step people - What do yo think of this?
I posted this in the 1st-step area of this site, but want it to get more exposure for more replies.
I came across this on another site and am wondering what your take on ths is.
Step One – the most often misquoted Step of A.A.'s 12 Steps!
We sit around in meetings emphasizing the importance of a complete and perfect First Step –
and it’s Step One – that is one of the most misquoted Steps of the 12 Steps.
The word “and” is NOT in Step One.
I hear it over and over and over again “We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol
AND our lives had become unmanageable.”
That’s NOT Step 1.
Step 1 is “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become
unmanageable.”
Contrary to what is popularly quoted – and, I believe it’s fuel that feeds the resistance and
confusion about Step One – Step 1 is NOT a “two part” Step.
Step One is an admission of alcoholism. (See page 30 of the Big Book).
It is an acknowledgement that we have become convinced in our inner-most selves that
we are alcoholics.
I made the error, also – for many years, thinking that “Step One is a two part Step.” It isn’t.
When I read the descriptions of “what an alcoholic is” in the Big Book – I have yet to
find any reference that “and an unmanageable life” has anything to do – with whether
or not a person is alcoholic or non-alcoholic. It just isn’t there.
For me – when I was new in A.A., part of the reason I was confused and could not become
convinced that I was alcoholic – was because I was not convinced that “my life was
unmanageable” – like I was hearing about it in A.A. meetings.
Therefore, I concluded that “if my life is not unmanageable – then, I must not be an alcoholic.”
So... what did I do? I continued drinking and letting my life get progressively more screwed
up, and allowing my alcoholism to progress without treating it – until I could say “my life is
unmanageable.”
Had I known the proper description of an alcoholic – and realized that the “and my life
had become unmanageable” was not part of the description of an alcoholic – I might
have had a better chance of grasping the concept of alcoholism.
Why is this important?
I believe that the reasons that it is important are:
1. It’s wrong. And, it’s confusing.
2. Using the word “and” is adding a “condition” to alcoholism, that just isn’t there.
3. If we are ever to succeed in helping the still suffering alcoholics to “raise their bottom” the
easiest way to do that – would be to admit to our error and correct it.
4. We can better understand the meaning of Step One – by looking at it as it was written.
Notice in #4 above – where I used the dash.
To substitute the dash in #4 above, the thought and the sentence – wouldn’t make sense. Or
you could do it with the sentence preceding this one! Substitute the word “and” for the “dash”
and it makes no sense.
Take a look at Step One. Do you see the word “and”? It isn’t there.
What we have is a “hyphen” -- a “dash”.
In our English language, when a hyphen is not used to break up a word, it is used to connect
a thought or phrase.
Often, we refer to it as a “dash”.
A dash is the mark or sign (—) used to note an abrupt break or pause in a sentence or
hesitation in an utterance, to begin and end a parenthetic word, phrase, or clause, to indicate
the omission of letters or words, to divide a line, to substitute for certain uses of the colon,
and to separate any of various elements of a sentence or series of sentences, as a question
from its answer.
From American Heritage New Dictionary of Cultural Literacy, Third Edition - dash
A punctuation mark (—) used to indicate a sudden break in thought, to set off parenthetical
material, or to take the place of such expressions as that is and namely: “He's running for
reelection — if he lives until then”; “Very few people in this class — three, to be exact —
have completed their projects”; “She joined the chorus for only one reason — she loves to
sing.” In the last example, where the parenthetical material comes at the end of the sentence
rather than in the middle, a colon could be used instead of the dash.
Step One: “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become
unmanageable.”
If I were to paraphrase Step One, as it is written, using the dash as a concluding thought,
rather than an “and” -- I could say “I admitted that I am powerless over staying sober --
because I can not manage to leave alcohol entirely alone.” Or – “We admitted that we were
powerless over alcohol – we could not manage to leave alcohol entirely alone.” The insanity
of the first drink. The obsession that prevents us from leaving alcohol alone – while we are
entirely sober!
This, then means – that “my life had become unmanageable” – regardless if I was
drinking or sober – because I cannot manage to leave alcohol entirely alone.
We know
from the Doctor’s Opinion, and from our own experience – that it is not safe for us alcoholics
to use alcohol in any form at all.
If it is unsafe for us to use alcohol in any form at all, and we cannot manage to leave
alcohol entirely alone – we are powerless over drinking alcohol.
Simple. Complete. No argument.
Those thoughts are more in line with our Big Book’s description of the alcoholic in Chapter
Three More about alcoholism and in Chapter Four, We Agnostics.
For references see pages 30, 24, and 44 of the Big Book - Alcoholics Anonymous .
I came across this on another site and am wondering what your take on ths is.
Step One – the most often misquoted Step of A.A.'s 12 Steps!
We sit around in meetings emphasizing the importance of a complete and perfect First Step –
and it’s Step One – that is one of the most misquoted Steps of the 12 Steps.
The word “and” is NOT in Step One.
I hear it over and over and over again “We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol
AND our lives had become unmanageable.”
That’s NOT Step 1.
Step 1 is “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become
unmanageable.”
Contrary to what is popularly quoted – and, I believe it’s fuel that feeds the resistance and
confusion about Step One – Step 1 is NOT a “two part” Step.
Step One is an admission of alcoholism. (See page 30 of the Big Book).
It is an acknowledgement that we have become convinced in our inner-most selves that
we are alcoholics.
I made the error, also – for many years, thinking that “Step One is a two part Step.” It isn’t.
When I read the descriptions of “what an alcoholic is” in the Big Book – I have yet to
find any reference that “and an unmanageable life” has anything to do – with whether
or not a person is alcoholic or non-alcoholic. It just isn’t there.
For me – when I was new in A.A., part of the reason I was confused and could not become
convinced that I was alcoholic – was because I was not convinced that “my life was
unmanageable” – like I was hearing about it in A.A. meetings.
Therefore, I concluded that “if my life is not unmanageable – then, I must not be an alcoholic.”
So... what did I do? I continued drinking and letting my life get progressively more screwed
up, and allowing my alcoholism to progress without treating it – until I could say “my life is
unmanageable.”
Had I known the proper description of an alcoholic – and realized that the “and my life
had become unmanageable” was not part of the description of an alcoholic – I might
have had a better chance of grasping the concept of alcoholism.
Why is this important?
I believe that the reasons that it is important are:
1. It’s wrong. And, it’s confusing.
2. Using the word “and” is adding a “condition” to alcoholism, that just isn’t there.
3. If we are ever to succeed in helping the still suffering alcoholics to “raise their bottom” the
easiest way to do that – would be to admit to our error and correct it.
4. We can better understand the meaning of Step One – by looking at it as it was written.
Notice in #4 above – where I used the dash.
To substitute the dash in #4 above, the thought and the sentence – wouldn’t make sense. Or
you could do it with the sentence preceding this one! Substitute the word “and” for the “dash”
and it makes no sense.
Take a look at Step One. Do you see the word “and”? It isn’t there.
What we have is a “hyphen” -- a “dash”.
In our English language, when a hyphen is not used to break up a word, it is used to connect
a thought or phrase.
Often, we refer to it as a “dash”.
A dash is the mark or sign (—) used to note an abrupt break or pause in a sentence or
hesitation in an utterance, to begin and end a parenthetic word, phrase, or clause, to indicate
the omission of letters or words, to divide a line, to substitute for certain uses of the colon,
and to separate any of various elements of a sentence or series of sentences, as a question
from its answer.
From American Heritage New Dictionary of Cultural Literacy, Third Edition - dash
A punctuation mark (—) used to indicate a sudden break in thought, to set off parenthetical
material, or to take the place of such expressions as that is and namely: “He's running for
reelection — if he lives until then”; “Very few people in this class — three, to be exact —
have completed their projects”; “She joined the chorus for only one reason — she loves to
sing.” In the last example, where the parenthetical material comes at the end of the sentence
rather than in the middle, a colon could be used instead of the dash.
Step One: “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become
unmanageable.”
If I were to paraphrase Step One, as it is written, using the dash as a concluding thought,
rather than an “and” -- I could say “I admitted that I am powerless over staying sober --
because I can not manage to leave alcohol entirely alone.” Or – “We admitted that we were
powerless over alcohol – we could not manage to leave alcohol entirely alone.” The insanity
of the first drink. The obsession that prevents us from leaving alcohol alone – while we are
entirely sober!
This, then means – that “my life had become unmanageable” – regardless if I was
drinking or sober – because I cannot manage to leave alcohol entirely alone.
We know
from the Doctor’s Opinion, and from our own experience – that it is not safe for us alcoholics
to use alcohol in any form at all.
If it is unsafe for us to use alcohol in any form at all, and we cannot manage to leave
alcohol entirely alone – we are powerless over drinking alcohol.
Simple. Complete. No argument.
Those thoughts are more in line with our Big Book’s description of the alcoholic in Chapter
Three More about alcoholism and in Chapter Four, We Agnostics.
For references see pages 30, 24, and 44 of the Big Book - Alcoholics Anonymous .
Dismember
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: The Mitten, USA
Posts: 1,641
I love it.
To all those who say AA is all about surrendering your critical thinking, eat this!
It is so. I actually said something at a meeting along the lines of, "I didn't come to AA to learn to be a nice person." In the same sense I didn't come to AA to learn how to create a successful life. I came because I have to keep my *** sober. If I do any personal development in the program, it's to keep my *** sober.
I take the first step to stop making disaster after disaster with alcohol. If I make an unmanageable mess of my life because I have a personality disorder leading to wild mood swings, I'll deal with that in another way. And if my life is swell, so be it, but I am still powerless over the alcohol = no management fact.
At least that's how I take it.
To all those who say AA is all about surrendering your critical thinking, eat this!
It is so. I actually said something at a meeting along the lines of, "I didn't come to AA to learn to be a nice person." In the same sense I didn't come to AA to learn how to create a successful life. I came because I have to keep my *** sober. If I do any personal development in the program, it's to keep my *** sober.
I take the first step to stop making disaster after disaster with alcohol. If I make an unmanageable mess of my life because I have a personality disorder leading to wild mood swings, I'll deal with that in another way. And if my life is swell, so be it, but I am still powerless over the alcohol = no management fact.
At least that's how I take it.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
I've got to disagree.... the reason Bill used a dash is because it IS a separate thought. My experience with the first step is that, for the real alcoholic, their life IS unmanageable (whether or not they recognize this / whether they choose to admit it or not is another subject). Of course, there are different degrees of unmanagability.... but it is what it is.
1. A, in the ABC's, uses "and" and breaks the first step into 2 distinct parts: "That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives." That's about as cut and dry as I should need to get but.....there's a lot more.
2. Near the bottom of p60 it speaks about how any life run on self will can hardly be a success. So, if I'm ABLE to manage my life.....why is it they're telling me I can't use self will? That statement doesn't make sense unless I really can't manage my own life. Managing my own life requires self-will.....and here it's telling me I can't use self will.
3. P60+ go on to tell me I can't try to run the show in the example about the actor.....sounds like more "you can't manage anymore" to me.
4. "Our troubles we think are of our own making.....(etc etc etc)" on p 62. If I can manage my life properly, how can my troubles be of MY making? If I'm a good manager, wouldn't the problems have to be from other ppl? Again........that line only makes sense if you can't manage your own life.
5. More About Alcoholism tells us, in the stories about Jim and Fred that, when sober and not affected by alcohol physically, I will continue to rationalize that next first drink. I'd think anyone who's able to manage their life would certainly not do such a thing given all the pain the alcoholic suffers.
6. If step 1 was meant to only tell us that we admitted we were alcoholics but could manage our lives......they would have written it that way.
7. If I can run my life, why would I need to make a decision to turn my life (and my will) over to anyone but me? The only reason I'd turn it over to the care of God is if I can't manage it properly on my own (and no other human power will be enough to allow me/us to manage my life).
8. If me running my life is ok, why would I need to find a new employer? Wouldn't they tell me I'd find better ways to run my life?
9. If my problem was just drinking.......then admitting I'm an alcoholic would be sufficient and my marching orders would proceed from there - I'd learn how to NOT DRINK. There are 100's of references to how, for the real alcoholic, the drinking is just a symptom, that the real problem centers in the mind, that alcohol was an outward manifestation of my inability to run my own life.
If I'm able to manage, why admit my defects/problems to anyone but myself? If I can manage, why do I need someone else (God) to remove defects and/or shortcomings from me? If I'm the boss, I'll remove them myself thank-you-very-much.
I'll stop there........there's lots more......but set ALL of that aside Nacona...... forget all my examples.......and consider your truth. Ask God for some help with that too. Consider the example in the 12x12 about alcoholics coming into AA that hadn't hit the deep bottoms that most of the original members had. That these new members were alcoholic true enough, but hadn't dropped so low. Were you able to manage your life all along......and do it well? Or is it possible that your skills as manager weren't all that good and you just hadn't sunk as low as other ppl had....yet?
So long as I thought I was able to run my life, drunk OR sober, there was no way I was asking for help or turning anything over. Why would I? If I'm the boss and I'm in control, I don't need to turn anything over, don't need any help, don't want any advice.
My experience is that under my management and my control, I can't keep from drinking.......and even when I can, my life's still an uncomfortable mess..... at least it's messy enough for me to say, if I were an outsider, "Whoever the manager is, he should be fired."
Maybe that's not your truth though. Maybe, once you put the drink down, your life gets better. My all-time favorite drinking buddy.....the guy who I "knew" was an alcoholic (yet I wasn't......so I thought. lol) did just that. I got busted....and found AA. He.....um.....the dude just stopped drinking. If that's not amazing enough, when he stopped drinking all his fear, depression, anxiety and so forth all went away. For him, the problem WAS alcohol. I just saw him Sunday.....he's managing his life just fine. He stopped drinking, life got better, he's turned nothing over and made no changes other than he quit drinking like a lunatic. Booze out, happiness in.....and it works like a charm for him.
Me......heh.......I quit drinking and the insanity of life gets WORSE. I can't manage my own life well......drunk or sober.
1. A, in the ABC's, uses "and" and breaks the first step into 2 distinct parts: "That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives." That's about as cut and dry as I should need to get but.....there's a lot more.
2. Near the bottom of p60 it speaks about how any life run on self will can hardly be a success. So, if I'm ABLE to manage my life.....why is it they're telling me I can't use self will? That statement doesn't make sense unless I really can't manage my own life. Managing my own life requires self-will.....and here it's telling me I can't use self will.
3. P60+ go on to tell me I can't try to run the show in the example about the actor.....sounds like more "you can't manage anymore" to me.
4. "Our troubles we think are of our own making.....(etc etc etc)" on p 62. If I can manage my life properly, how can my troubles be of MY making? If I'm a good manager, wouldn't the problems have to be from other ppl? Again........that line only makes sense if you can't manage your own life.
5. More About Alcoholism tells us, in the stories about Jim and Fred that, when sober and not affected by alcohol physically, I will continue to rationalize that next first drink. I'd think anyone who's able to manage their life would certainly not do such a thing given all the pain the alcoholic suffers.
6. If step 1 was meant to only tell us that we admitted we were alcoholics but could manage our lives......they would have written it that way.
7. If I can run my life, why would I need to make a decision to turn my life (and my will) over to anyone but me? The only reason I'd turn it over to the care of God is if I can't manage it properly on my own (and no other human power will be enough to allow me/us to manage my life).
8. If me running my life is ok, why would I need to find a new employer? Wouldn't they tell me I'd find better ways to run my life?
9. If my problem was just drinking.......then admitting I'm an alcoholic would be sufficient and my marching orders would proceed from there - I'd learn how to NOT DRINK. There are 100's of references to how, for the real alcoholic, the drinking is just a symptom, that the real problem centers in the mind, that alcohol was an outward manifestation of my inability to run my own life.
If I'm able to manage, why admit my defects/problems to anyone but myself? If I can manage, why do I need someone else (God) to remove defects and/or shortcomings from me? If I'm the boss, I'll remove them myself thank-you-very-much.
I'll stop there........there's lots more......but set ALL of that aside Nacona...... forget all my examples.......and consider your truth. Ask God for some help with that too. Consider the example in the 12x12 about alcoholics coming into AA that hadn't hit the deep bottoms that most of the original members had. That these new members were alcoholic true enough, but hadn't dropped so low. Were you able to manage your life all along......and do it well? Or is it possible that your skills as manager weren't all that good and you just hadn't sunk as low as other ppl had....yet?
So long as I thought I was able to run my life, drunk OR sober, there was no way I was asking for help or turning anything over. Why would I? If I'm the boss and I'm in control, I don't need to turn anything over, don't need any help, don't want any advice.
My experience is that under my management and my control, I can't keep from drinking.......and even when I can, my life's still an uncomfortable mess..... at least it's messy enough for me to say, if I were an outsider, "Whoever the manager is, he should be fired."
Maybe that's not your truth though. Maybe, once you put the drink down, your life gets better. My all-time favorite drinking buddy.....the guy who I "knew" was an alcoholic (yet I wasn't......so I thought. lol) did just that. I got busted....and found AA. He.....um.....the dude just stopped drinking. If that's not amazing enough, when he stopped drinking all his fear, depression, anxiety and so forth all went away. For him, the problem WAS alcohol. I just saw him Sunday.....he's managing his life just fine. He stopped drinking, life got better, he's turned nothing over and made no changes other than he quit drinking like a lunatic. Booze out, happiness in.....and it works like a charm for him.
Me......heh.......I quit drinking and the insanity of life gets WORSE. I can't manage my own life well......drunk or sober.
where the light is
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,763
When I did the steps, I kinda fell into a trap of thinking way too hard about them. Perhaps looking for a loophole? The stuff in the BB about delusion, obsession, not being able to stop after ingesting a certain amount of alcohol...that's what is the most relevant to me.
I can't drink like a "normal" person. My life was s**t when I used to drink. That's my step 1.
After 3 years of sobriety, I can definitely say that a sober life is 100% better than that miserable drunk/hungover/obsession cycle. I also make much better, rational decisions than I used to so in a sense my life is much more "manageable" (and successful). It is now very apparent how "unmanageable" my life used to be.
Simple!
I can't drink like a "normal" person. My life was s**t when I used to drink. That's my step 1.
After 3 years of sobriety, I can definitely say that a sober life is 100% better than that miserable drunk/hungover/obsession cycle. I also make much better, rational decisions than I used to so in a sense my life is much more "manageable" (and successful). It is now very apparent how "unmanageable" my life used to be.
Simple!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Traveling in Europe
Posts: 415
I like gravity's post. I think the original article was splitting hairs a bit. I understand why people get into semantic arguments over the finer points of the steps and the big book, but its not for me. Step one for me--My life is miserable and unlivable whenever I pick up a drink or a drug... done deal
Much love,
Clayton
Much love,
Clayton
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
I know it is difficult to understand it when still suffering...i didn't get my head around it till after working the steps and then a year in the rooms!
Step 1 is a two part step...here's why...
We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol - i worked this part whilst i was out there drinking, by the time i had come into AA i had accepted that i drank and there was little point in giving up again for the 100th time only to pick up a few days/weeks/months later...i was screwed basically...had "tried" all other routes to recovery...
that our lives had become unmanageable - well that was obvious for anyone including me to see, drinking had made my life unmanageable...but that's not what the second part of this step means...this part says "that our lives had become unmanageable"...it doesn't say "that our lives had become unmanageable...because of drinking!"
This is very important to understand because if we remember back to all the dry spells that us alcoholics have had our lives improved because we weren't drinking but in the end our lives were still clearly unmanageable without the alcohol...
So by working the steps in all of our affairs we can make our lives manageable...the second part of this step is nothing to do with drinking though and the sooner we realise this the more progress can be made...
There are even good examples of unmanageable behaviour in the rooms and unfortunately this step is overlooked bigtime e.g.
"Us alcoholics aren't good at relationships"
"I've never been good with money"
I'm sure everyone has many more they have heard but at the end of the day it's still unmanageable behaviour and an individual not accepting that their lives have become unmanageable and denying that this aspect of their lives falls under the second part of step 1...
And then we could go back to step 1 and add people, places and things...we admit we are powerless over them too...e.g. if you write a post that doesn't agree with mine and insults me then i can either accept that i am powerless over you or can get annoyed and spend the day pissed off...life becomes a lot more simple when we accept these things...but it does take work...that could be another thread:-)
Step 1 is a two part step...here's why...
We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol - i worked this part whilst i was out there drinking, by the time i had come into AA i had accepted that i drank and there was little point in giving up again for the 100th time only to pick up a few days/weeks/months later...i was screwed basically...had "tried" all other routes to recovery...
that our lives had become unmanageable - well that was obvious for anyone including me to see, drinking had made my life unmanageable...but that's not what the second part of this step means...this part says "that our lives had become unmanageable"...it doesn't say "that our lives had become unmanageable...because of drinking!"
This is very important to understand because if we remember back to all the dry spells that us alcoholics have had our lives improved because we weren't drinking but in the end our lives were still clearly unmanageable without the alcohol...
So by working the steps in all of our affairs we can make our lives manageable...the second part of this step is nothing to do with drinking though and the sooner we realise this the more progress can be made...
There are even good examples of unmanageable behaviour in the rooms and unfortunately this step is overlooked bigtime e.g.
"Us alcoholics aren't good at relationships"
"I've never been good with money"
I'm sure everyone has many more they have heard but at the end of the day it's still unmanageable behaviour and an individual not accepting that their lives have become unmanageable and denying that this aspect of their lives falls under the second part of step 1...
And then we could go back to step 1 and add people, places and things...we admit we are powerless over them too...e.g. if you write a post that doesn't agree with mine and insults me then i can either accept that i am powerless over you or can get annoyed and spend the day pissed off...life becomes a lot more simple when we accept these things...but it does take work...that could be another thread:-)
unlearning
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: russia
Posts: 343
Originally Posted by TheSunAlsoRises 
I like gravity's post. I think the original article was splitting hairs a bit. I understand why people get into semantic arguments over the finer points of the steps and the big book, but its not for me. Step one for me--My life is miserable and unlivable whenever I pick up a drink or a drug... done deal
Much love,
Clayton
Much love,
Clayton
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
I still don't completely get it after a little more than two years of sobriety... This is where, in my opinion, our mileage will vary... I never had a problem with the powerlessness part of step one... this is a very personal journey to arrive at the conclusion which is actually universal... we are powerless over alcohol.
But that second part... My life unmanageable? According to who?
My own opinion, and experience, on this unmanageable question.... and the denial of it... is why alcohol can bring people to very low bottoms.... I was not a street level alkie/addict, however, I was, in fact, institutionalized... sent to rehab by the powers that be within my job... I didn't feel then, and still don't, that I was so far gone that I required in-patient therapy... but they sure did... So I went..... on the other hand I could have just walked away from my career.... and said screw you!!
I could have just walked away from my career... and I considered it...
.....shiver.....
I actually considered walking away from the job I have done for nearly 30 years... If I would have made that choice... how much more would I have lost... my home, my family, my life.... before I recognized there was a problem... that things were, at the very least.... becoming.... unmanageable...
Simple for me, really... It means to me that I was capable of making some really ef'd up choices... all to keep my lifestyle such that I could continue my addictions... The idea that I could become homeless, jailed, institutionalized (again) or dead... is clear to me now... by admitting the second part of step one...
I don't complicate it any more than that.
But that second part... My life unmanageable? According to who?
My own opinion, and experience, on this unmanageable question.... and the denial of it... is why alcohol can bring people to very low bottoms.... I was not a street level alkie/addict, however, I was, in fact, institutionalized... sent to rehab by the powers that be within my job... I didn't feel then, and still don't, that I was so far gone that I required in-patient therapy... but they sure did... So I went..... on the other hand I could have just walked away from my career.... and said screw you!!
I could have just walked away from my career... and I considered it...
.....shiver.....
I actually considered walking away from the job I have done for nearly 30 years... If I would have made that choice... how much more would I have lost... my home, my family, my life.... before I recognized there was a problem... that things were, at the very least.... becoming.... unmanageable...
Simple for me, really... It means to me that I was capable of making some really ef'd up choices... all to keep my lifestyle such that I could continue my addictions... The idea that I could become homeless, jailed, institutionalized (again) or dead... is clear to me now... by admitting the second part of step one...
I don't complicate it any more than that.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
I've been pondering this since the first time I saw it. I can enjoy dissecting particular phrasing nuances from the BB, but at the end of the day I really need to digest the concept and not get hung up on the minutiae.
At it's simplest, and all I need to worry about early on, it's telling me that because I can not choose not to drink with any reliability, and because I have this physical reaction for more booze once I do, that fact alone makes my life unmanageable. I am powerless, therefore, I can't manage my life. I can't manage my decision to not drink. I am screwed six ways to Sunday. Simple.
By the time I really digest how unmanageable my life run by self-propulsion really is, I have a solution in place. Over time, I see how all of my life falls into this box of selfish control, and I spend a lot more time with the 2nd Step proposition.
At it's simplest, and all I need to worry about early on, it's telling me that because I can not choose not to drink with any reliability, and because I have this physical reaction for more booze once I do, that fact alone makes my life unmanageable. I am powerless, therefore, I can't manage my life. I can't manage my decision to not drink. I am screwed six ways to Sunday. Simple.
By the time I really digest how unmanageable my life run by self-propulsion really is, I have a solution in place. Over time, I see how all of my life falls into this box of selfish control, and I spend a lot more time with the 2nd Step proposition.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Mgm, AL
Posts: 1,000
I think it's a scream just how many scholars there are within AA--especially concerning the text of Alcoholics Anonymous. I, too, managed to "complexificate," the steps, to wit, my sponsor said, "Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?"
Up until then I thought the two were synonymous.
Up until then I thought the two were synonymous.
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
Thought provoking thread for sure -
because I've been thinking about it all day.
First I was going to answer -
then I decided not to.
thought about it again ...
Then I was.
Then I wasn't.
For me,
there was never any doubt that the first step
was absolute.
Whether in any parts or anything like that
never occurred to me.
When you've utterly destroyed your life
lost your job, your friends
your integrity, your reputation
and wake up on the bathroom floor
after doing what you thought was a thorough job
of guarantee-ing you would NOT wake up
like ... ever ....
whether there's a period - a comma, or an asterysk
in the wording
just didn't occur to me.
However -
I've known people
in these four and half years in AA
who *do* have difficulty with that first step.
Accepting it.
Accomplishing it.
And they, too tend to dissect ,
re-word,
analyze and even criticize that step.
Trying to work it
so they can go back to drinking
or stop without changing anything in their lives.
I didn't have that luxury.
So I don't understand the rhetorical approach.
SO ultimately, I have nothing to add
other than yet another opinion and perspective.
because I've been thinking about it all day.
First I was going to answer -
then I decided not to.
thought about it again ...
Then I was.
Then I wasn't.For me,
there was never any doubt that the first step
was absolute.
Whether in any parts or anything like that
never occurred to me.
When you've utterly destroyed your life
lost your job, your friends
your integrity, your reputation
and wake up on the bathroom floor
after doing what you thought was a thorough job
of guarantee-ing you would NOT wake up
like ... ever ....
whether there's a period - a comma, or an asterysk
in the wording
just didn't occur to me.
However -
I've known people
in these four and half years in AA
who *do* have difficulty with that first step.
Accepting it.
Accomplishing it.
And they, too tend to dissect ,
re-word,
analyze and even criticize that step.
Trying to work it
so they can go back to drinking
or stop without changing anything in their lives.
I didn't have that luxury.
So I don't understand the rhetorical approach.
SO ultimately, I have nothing to add
other than yet another opinion and perspective.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Mgm, AL
Posts: 1,000
Now, Barb Dwyer, THAT was intense. And dead-right. When deciding whether to live or die, a dash is that thing between the two dates on a headstone.
I was asked to resign from the debate society long enough to actually DO all the steps--then I could actually argue them. Sort of like dismissing God because I thought I was smarter than everyone else and knew everything. Contempt prior to investigation and all that nonsense...
I was asked to resign from the debate society long enough to actually DO all the steps--then I could actually argue them. Sort of like dismissing God because I thought I was smarter than everyone else and knew everything. Contempt prior to investigation and all that nonsense...
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
I used to program computers so it made perfect sense to me that this was a execute command with 2 iterations:
We admitted -
1. we were powerless over alcohol
2. that our lives had become unmanageable
But then again, it would have much more efficient to do it in Fortran LOL!
We admitted -
1. we were powerless over alcohol
2. that our lives had become unmanageable
But then again, it would have much more efficient to do it in Fortran LOL!
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