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Dry Drunk?

Old 01-02-2011, 01:55 PM
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Dry Drunk?

Anyone know how to prevent it from happening?
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Old 01-02-2011, 02:27 PM
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All I know that helps is the 12 Steps of AA.
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Old 01-02-2011, 02:33 PM
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I experienced being dry drunk when my recovery would stall and I didn't really do anything about that stalling except to complain about not being happily sober which of course just kept me, speaking for myself here, dry drunk and wanting.

To prevent those experiences meant staying in real-time with my sobriety and my spiritual life honestly day-to-day changing as I progressed through my recovery. Living the good life of sobriety is the surest way to prevent dry drunkeness.

Been awhile [many years] since I had those dry drunk experiences. Not everybody even agrees dry drunk exists but for me it did back when, and I used those hard times to get going and get more into my sober living. The best way out is quality sobriety!

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Old 01-02-2011, 02:52 PM
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I was a dry drunk for quite some time.... I started off in AA and found myself on that pink cloud and figured I didn't need any program to recovery or any kind of conscious contact with a higher power... I was "dry" for months and it lead me to a pretty rough relapse, I than went to one AA meeting completely hammered, and went back to being "dry" for another few months which lead me to another even rougher relapse..

For me they only way to prevent myself from becoming a "dry drunk" is to continue going to meetings, staying in contact with God, and carrying the message of AA by sharing my own experience, strength and hope.. Sure often times I become complacent and don't work the program as hard as I should be but with everything in the program it's about progress not perfection.
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Old 01-02-2011, 03:02 PM
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Over these many years in recovery the only meaning I have ever known for the term 'dry drunk' is someone who has only stopped drinking and done nothing to fix the underlying causes, ie the only thing that changes is the person is just not drinking.

Is that what you mean?

If is it, then I can tell you that AA sure helped me with that one. By working the steps, by going to meetings and learning all over again how to interact with others, I was learning new behaviors to replace the 'nasty' ones I had all those years I drank.

Since you asked:

Anyone know how to prevent it from happening?
Read this 'sticky' in this forum for different recovery programs that if worked can prevent a dry drunk from happening:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

Hope that helps.

Keep coming back. There is lots and lots of GREAT Experience, Strength and Hope (ES&H) here.

Love and hugs,
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Old 01-02-2011, 03:14 PM
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While I acknowledge that some people can get sober on their own, I'm not one of them. I walked into the doors of AA a wreck who turned my life around. There's a saying that alcoholism is the disease of attitudes and I agree. Me the active alcoholic is self-centered in the extreme, angry, has low self-esteem coupled with enormous ego. Going to a lot of meetings and doing the steps transformed me into a nice person who cared about other people.

However, when I cut back on meetings or perhaps skip meetings for ten days or so the old attitudes come back. I isolate and I'm miserable. So the only thing that works for this alcoholic is going to a lot of meetings, talking to others and asking for help.
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Old 01-02-2011, 03:40 PM
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While AA may not have tibs on recovery, I have found it to be the most expedient and the most fun from my own experience in the past 23 years. Prior to that, it wasn't much fun with the white knuckling ways I tried.

I found that unless a person at least goes through some 'process' of change somehow....the old adage holds true.

If you take the drink from a drunken horse thief, yer still left with a horse thief. The root of our problem we believe is selfishness and self-centeredness. It turned out I actually had to fix a thinking problem more than a drinking problem. It is why 'alcohol' is only mentioned in the first step. But before the other steps can do any good, one needs to put the plug in the jug.

I have seen the Promises come true for many before the were halfway through the steps, just as they say. But it does take action and it does take time. How soon should someone begin working the steps? How soon does someone wish to get sober?

I've seen cases, where all the husband did was stop drinking. No recovery. No meetings. And it resulted with his wife telling him she liked him better when he was drunk.
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Old 01-02-2011, 03:52 PM
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I'm not personally a believer in the whole dry drunk concept. For some unabashed flaming on the topic, you can check out what stinkin-thinkin has to say about it. Admittedly, they're a very anti-AA group.

Dry Drunk – Stinkin' Thinkin'

But since "dry drunk" is an AA concept, not being a "dry drunk" probably means doing AA and following their steps.

Getting away from the "dry drunk" label, I think it's true that getting sober doesn't necessarily make you a better person or fix the problems in your life. Working on that is important for everybody.
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Old 01-02-2011, 03:54 PM
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Anyone know how to prevent it from happening?
..

Here what i believe and my experience.

alcoholism centres in my mind.......my mind is sick and suffering from a form of insanity.

alcohol actually......(or i believe to at the time)....becomes the solution.
life is unbearable with it eventually........but the paradox is life becomes unbearable without it as well.

that sickness of the mind will drive me back to booze everytime...as sure as god made green apples..

but at times i had a good attempt at it........through gritted teeth and much cursing id put together a few weeks maybe.
but ultimately i turned to the solution that did the job........booze.

although i dont like the term "dry drunk" much that is my experience.....acting like a drunk but without the drink.......still having the sick mind but not drinking..........me keeping me sober.
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Old 01-02-2011, 04:07 PM
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Originally Posted by nvrbeentospain View Post
I'm not personally a believer in the whole dry drunk concept. For some unabashed flaming on the topic, you can check out what stinkin-thinkin has to say about it. Admittedly, they're a very anti-AA group.

Dry Drunk – Stinkin' Thinkin'

But since "dry drunk" is an AA concept, not being a "dry drunk" probably means doing AA and following their steps.

Getting away from the "dry drunk" label, I think it's true that getting sober doesn't necessarily make you a better person or fix the problems in your life. Working on that is important for everybody.
And that is a shame that some would spend their time in futile resentment trying to mislabel AA as some religious cult. I have seen some others ex-AA'ers with the same vendetta trying to sway others with their copy and paste twisting meanings. Most of them anti-God Christian hating atheists authors trying to mock AA'ers as brainwashed people when that is the farthest from the truth.

While I will agree, some of these slogans, such as dry drunk, can and probably are overused by AA'ers on occasion, when I speak of that term, my meaning is in life in general. I do not mean it from an AA meaning.

When someone takes the drink from a drunken horse thief, they are left with a horse thief. And unless some change is made in their life, that is usually the case. I have also clearly stated this change can take place either in AA or for some outside AA, as AA does not have tibs on recovery.

I don't understand why someone would devote such time to such a hateful site in mocking what is known to work for so many that they have to establish web sites with articles to twist other comments to make it fit what they think things to mean. If they do not believe in 12 step nor are involved it in, one should ask themself this one simple question. In what way are they even qualified to speak of it then to get others to believe their BS? And what is their 'true' intention of doing so.

Does anyone actually believe it is because they 'care' for anyone who is trying to get sober? I hardly think so.

Sounds more like some personal ego vendetta to me.
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Old 01-02-2011, 04:28 PM
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When someone gives up alcohol, it is said that they go through the grieving process:

1.Denial,
2.Anger,
3.Bargaining,
4.Depression
5.Acceptance

The problem is the "Dry Drunk" never goes through the whole process, they get stuck in the anger stage and are miserable about giving up alcohol. In order for someone to avoid this, they must successfully make it to the Acceptance stage. How you do this is purely up to you. Some people use AA and work the 12 steps, some people use other means.

I think one of the key components to avoiding the "Dry Drunk" syndrome, is to find things that you can truly enjoy sober. Discovering that you can truly live a wonderful, fun filled life without alcohol will help you move through the grieving process and help you reach acceptance.
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Old 01-02-2011, 04:55 PM
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My program is based in SMART Recovery, but I also attend AA for the fellowship. My issue with the term "dry drunk" is it is often used by people in 12-step programs to discount the sobriety that others outside the program have achieved. And just to be clear, I am not anti-AA. I'm glad both SMART and AA exist.
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Old 01-02-2011, 05:08 PM
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Originally Posted by AnthonyV View Post
My program is based in SMART Recovery, but I also attend AA for the fellowship. My issue with the term "dry drunk" is it is often used by people in 12-step programs to discount the sobriety that others outside the program have achieved.
And as an AA'er, IMO, those who say that about others shouldn't be saying so, and they are more likely incorrect as many times as they may be correct.

What do they do? Follow everyone outside of AA around to see how they are living thier life or ensure maybe they have some spiritual awakening through their involvement with their church? The ones who may 'often' say that do not know. They may very well be right about some, but it's just a 'general' random shot.

And I really don't have the time to go following every alcoholic around outside of AA around to see for myself, so I think I'll just worry about myself for now I think.

My wife's a handful enough to worry about.

The little horse thief she is. :rotfxko
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Old 01-02-2011, 05:13 PM
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Even when I was heavily involved in AA, I didn't like the term "dry drunk." If someone isn't drinking, they must at least be trying to get sober.

I understand that "working the program" is life-saving to many, but I also empathize with people who have a hard time with it (i.e. turning their will/life over to a Higher Power, seeing themselves as powerless, etc.) I don't think it's helpful to tell every person who relapses that they just didn't work the program hard enough. They may need professional help or some other form of support to live a happy sober life.

I say this because I remember being new in AA and terrified of turning into a dry drunk - it was almost worse than being an alcoholic...... or like a threat if I didn't follow every letter of the law. That being said, I really love the program overall and still would recommend it to anyone trying to get sober. I use the tools I got there every day.
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Old 01-02-2011, 05:47 PM
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Originally Posted by AnthonyV View Post
My program is based in SMART Recovery, but I also attend AA for the fellowship. My issue with the term "dry drunk" is it is often used by people in 12-step programs to discount the sobriety that others outside the program have achieved. And just to be clear, I am not anti-AA. I'm glad both SMART and AA exist.
I too have found that the term "dry drunk" is often used to discount the sobriety of people who utilize recovery pathways other than 12 step, including SMART Recovery and other mutual aid groups. I think this is a shame, and wholly unnecessary. To the extent that it occurs, I'm afraid that the folks over at Stinkin' Thinkin' have a point.

With that said, the idea behind the "dry drunk" is quite simple, and means only that a person can be physically sober, but emotionally unhealthy. I have seen examples of this among many people who were formerly addicted to alcohol and other substances, and I have not noticed that AA members are any more or less prone to it than anyone else. Neither AA nor any other recovery group or path has a monopoly on recovery or on emotional health.

To my mind, the avoidance of the "dry drunk" syndrome means simply that after we're sober, we do something useful with ourselves and our lives. Some of us become more involved in our families and communities. Some of us go back to school, and further our careers. Some of us develop interests and hobbies, become politically involved, volunteer for causes we believe in. Some of us need to do some serious reconstructive work in therapy or otherwise in order to become useful members of the human race: others do not. It varies a great deal, as we are not all the same, but in the end it all boils down to being a decent, and reasonably well adjusted, human being.

OTT
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Old 01-02-2011, 05:48 PM
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I didn't realize Dry Drunk was an AA term. I have used it about myself when I quit in the past (I have never been a member of AA).

Anyway for me it was when I quit drinking but didn't enjoy sobriety. I just left a gaping hole in my life in which to be miserable.

This time I'm happy because I'm giving sober life a real chance. Lots to enjoy, contrary to what I thought!
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Old 01-02-2011, 05:50 PM
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Old 01-02-2011, 05:59 PM
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Originally Posted by nvrbeentospain View Post
I'm not personally a believer in the whole dry drunk concept. For some unabashed flaming on the topic, you can check out what stinkin-thinkin has to say about it. Admittedly, they're a very anti-AA group.

Dry Drunk – Stinkin' Thinkin'
I had never heard of that site, thank you for sharing it.

I'm not against AA and I am actually considering it but I like to educate myself on all aspects of the recovery options available.

The main issue I have with "dry drunk" is that I often hear it used to cast judgement on the recovery of someone else rather than someone using it to describe themselves unless, of course, it was past tense.
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Old 01-02-2011, 06:02 PM
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I think being just dry means just coasting on a period of sobriety, without doing anything to maintain it throughout the future. Though I also do not use the term "dry drunk" ever.

My biggest problem with "dry drunk" is that it always suggests its opposite the "true AAers." AA does not need a class system, everyone is at a different point along the line, whenever you set yourself apart by debasing other people's recovery you do nothing but jeopardize your own (kissing your humility goodbye.)

Last time I saw a guy who once harshly accused me of being a "dry drunk" he was looking pretty rough after 60 days in rehab. I don't call it comeuppance, but it was definitely educational for me. You can be intense and hardcore about AA, but that doesn't mean your sobriety is in good shape. :\
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Old 01-02-2011, 06:06 PM
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Originally Posted by Nyte Byrd View Post
Most of them anti-God Christian hating atheists authors trying to mock AA'ers as brainwashed people when that is the farthest from the truth.
No offense, but statements like these also scare away people from AA. What authors are you talking about?

I think being a "dry drunk" is more to do with unhappiness with your position. I imagine filling it with healthy things is the best thing to do. I work out, go to meetings, eat healthy, talk to friends and family and also take medication due to depression. I'm looking to add individual therapy when I get a job. I attend AA meetings and am working the steps, but I do not think that AA is the answer to unhappiness caused by quitting drinking and drugs. It is a hard thing to do, and old habits die hard.

Sometimes I just get pissed off, frustrated, sad, emotional etc... its hard to quit using drugs and alcohol after using for the majority of my teenage and adult life (I'm 27). Its going to take me time and creating new habits to get over these. However, I am now making healthy decisions and not drinking over them. Furthermore, if my life continues to come together then things will get better. All I really have right now is my sobriety and my health... which is a great start.
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