Nyte Byrd

If you go on YouTube there are various originators who spend endless hours doing nothing but making anti-AA videos trying to sway others into turning away from it.

Now why would someone spend so much time involved in something they obviously despise unless they were on a personal vendetta?

I don't see how any statements I made forewarning others about these people scare anyone away from AA.

I am just making some aware to apply investigation prior to contempt and let them try it for themself rather than base it on some biased article from some who isn't qualifed to speak about it and just takes pieces of it and makes it fit to their own personal definition, the same way some people do with the Bible sometimes.

I have been sober in AA since 1987 now, and I can assure you not everyone in AA perceives everyone outside of AA as a dry drunk. And it is a generalization of someone to believe that just as much as it is for someone in AA to say such.

Unlike some programs such as RR, which takes the "god" out of the program and discourages meeting attendance, AA does not have a website as they do, which lures AA'ers on their site just to selectively copy and paste comments to make it appear their are contradictions in their statements, in an attempt to make it appear AA is a cult, and RR works where AA doesn't. AA does not need to get into outside controversy as they do. It is by attraction and not promotion and not financially motivated and no one's wife is vice-president, such as RR is.

There are a lot of hidden gimmicks about some other programs others are not even aware of. And contrary to what they may tell you, their success rate isn't as good as they claim.

LaFemme

I am sober with my own program of sorts. I use SR for my only support and I work on my life issues with a life coach. Its possible I would be sober without those two factors but I doubt I would be growing the way I am without them.

I would also like to add that I was a "real alcoholic"

Zencat

Yes. recognize the symptoms of alcoholism and don't exhibit them in sobriety.

Emmy69

My progress so far has been without AA, but I'm not ruling it out. I have found now that I'm sober my newfound energy and enthusiasm has helped me exercise more, reconnect with people, get excited about the future and in general have a better outlook on life. I'm not done, but I'm better.

I get nervous when people try to rate the quality of my sobriety.

Supercrew

A "Dry Drunk" is basically a person who is still unhappy and unsure of wanting to be sober, yet they don't drink. From a scientific view point the term is correct. The person has a chemical imbalance in the brain. They basically are not getting enough serotonin or their brain is not creating enough to keep them happy.

A natural way to get serotonin is to become part of a loving group that you feel in touch with. Believe it or not this feeling of being part of something with "like people" can help release the chemical in the brain, and it will make you happier and more chemically balanced. The reason AA attributes the "dry drunk" syndrome to people who don't work the program, is because many who don't work the program really don't feel like they belong and don't get the chemical contentment out of it. Hence you have someone who shows up, but doesn't really gain one of the main benefits of it...fellowship.

None of the programs are magic, and everybody reacts differently to different treatments. But the term basically means someone who stays sober, yet is unhappy in sobriety. The reason why people are happy and sad are due to chemicals in our brains. AA's program found a way, through fellowship and by particpating in a protective group to raise the "happy chemicals" in many of the people's brains who participate and are active in the 12 steps. There are other natural ways to raise serotonin levels, and belonging to a group like SR probably has a similar effect on the brain if you are active and feel like you are part of the community.

AA coined the phrase, but basically you could call the person a sober jerk, you don't act drunk, unless you were a mean unhappy drunk.

Crow3000

I'd turn into a dry drunk every time I ran out of booze ...

wren

Yes, that is how that website strikes me as well.

drumstick

Supercrew, I like your analogy and how you tied the biological point into the term. It's important to note that while the brain is healing from the alcohol abuse that PAWS can also play a role in these dry drunk feelings.

It takes time for the body, mind and soul to rebalance itself. But sooooo worth it!!

The way I see it and the simplest way to look at it is as everyone has stated you are sober but clearly not happy or content in your sobriety. There has to be commitment to invest the time and work into the best person you truly disire to be without the alcohol!

Noodles,
Maybe start with just being more friendly to others, open doors, carry someone's groceries, say please and thank you, give genuine compliments to others. Every little bit helps to remove the selfiness of alcoholism!!

yeahgr8

This has been my experience for a few months in early recovery too, it's not much fun and easily avoided by not losing focus on recovery...it came, for me, from procrastination and avoidance...ignoring suggestions like going to meetings, stopping reading literature, losing interest in hobbies, e.g. gym, poor diet...then comes the irritability, disenchantment with life, feelings of restlessness, disconnection from people etc...then you either drink or, if like me are lucky, just have a major consequence from this way of living and get back into recovery and living life quick...

Dry drunk is used a lot in the CBT field with regard to addiction so that's another avenue to discount, if anyone is offended by the phrase, as well as AA;-)

drumstick

Supercrew,

I think the "spiritual awakening" theory of AA can be coined similar to the dry drunk theory in terms of the physiological, psycological and biological healing that takes place while an alcoholic maintains sobriety.

As the recovering alcholic works on their psycological issues through meetings, the steps and therapy (or another form of recovery tools) the body, mind and soul are in the process of healing.... hence at some point the recovering alcoholic reaches a point where alot of consequences of the alcohol are alieviated and this to them is that feeling of the "Spiritual Awakening" that is talked about in AA.

Just a thought

tmbg

It isn't a great leap to find that many eventually end up here, via the Internet, to hear this. I did. After months in AA.

Sorry, but I just wasn't getting it. It was all so dang new to me. Seriously. One day I was a happy drinker...and then one day I was a person with more than a drinking problem. Off the street and all. Please excuse, but really, there are plenty of people who qualify as alcoholics who have no clue about what the term means.

Anyone will tell you when you get to the point of "whoa, what is up with my habit?" "I don't want to go outside except to drink." "Oh, hey, I don't bathe every day because, yo, I have enough to drink and it doesn't matter." "Oh, yeah, it's because I'm so depressed because I'm so depressed"

...the typical answer is go to AA. Hello. Everyone knows this in our culture.The big thing is that you know, from the media, that going "to AA" means that you're in the dead zone. It's like taking the plunge, getting locked up, taking meds, seeing a mental health professional...Admit you're an alcoholic (if you dare). Every voice (especially in your head) is telling you this.

So you work yourself up to do it. Right? Get a ride. Make the Big Plan. Get a sitter. Sit in the parking lot by yourself or whatever. Watch the creeps roll in. Do not want to associate yourself. Crisis. Keep thinking that it's the wrong place.

The big thing is, ha, to ask, "Excuse me. Is this the, um, Ah, AA meeting?" [get all freaked out when the daycare receptionist is all, "yes, right down the hall].

I heard the term "dry drunk" during my first AA weeks, but never understood what the term meant, really. Hello noob. And I'm not a "stupid" person. Kind of even worse--an educated one (make all the fun of me that you will). Just a run-of-the-mill alcoholic who, in the thought, "hey, I'm trying to stop drinking...so there's this thing called AA...I've heard of that thing...it's where you go when it's the end of the line, amiright???...and whoa, I really don't want to be an "alcoholic" but here I am so...[so fu&ing miserable]go to a meeting. Is this kind of like group therapy?[/B]"

So right. Freak out about even going to a meeting. People, it means getting up off your sorry, alcoholic butt and going out and--get this--dude, it's hilarious--I mean, totally demoralizing...no...it's a spiritual awakening of the most frightening sort...admit you are an alcoholic to all an sundry by simply showing up. Dare you. I dare you.

Not everyone shows up from a rehab or out-patient, all armed with schedules.

Ok. So it's bad enough to admit. (Dear God, Dear God...please, please let these strangers understand...)

It's important to remember that many will come to "the rooms" and not "get it" because they don't even connect with anyone. Or maybe it just doesn't work.

It's even more important to understand that your dream may not surface at this particular place. Omg, you have to go someplace else? Break needed. Did someone say you have to pray?

[come in all detoxing on your own and have someone think you are there on court order and say, "What?" because you have no idea of what.]

So right. Lots of newcomers sit on the sidelines, kind of freaked out.

Sorry, but not everyone knows about how AA works.

How are you supposed to know that the "meeting" takes place before and after the meeting? Better if you smoke. The loner-ish types have a difficult time.

Hear all sorts of business about "daily reprieve" and "dry drunk" and "90 in 90," sponsors (get one! No rules here! Get a sponsor, talk to/call sponsor, again, it's AA. Get a "sponsor" Hey, dummy, it's AA. Haven't you heard? etc.)

Oh, hey-o if someone offers you a Big Book and phone numbers--you have to call. You could be like I was...running out of the first meeting in tears...going to get drunk again.

It took SR BB jerks and some AA Speakers recommended to get me to even try to understand what I was looking for because dude, I had no freaking idea what I was looking for when I was desperate enough for another attempt at an AA meeting. By chance, I heard about this little thing called a Spiritual Malady:

XA-Speakers - The lights are on!

Spiritual Malady? Now that was a new one on my old "ha, ha, "spiritual malady" my butt bones when I read the posts of some Big Book Thumpers. I was all about the high (you name it, bub). Because, hey, I was tripping on spirituality. But what? Why didn't anyone tell me about this "look, you're a freaking dummy, dummy!" thing? Way to go, people.

Oh wait. I was really pissed at you people. How dare you tell me I can't do it on my own?

Wait. All this attitude about what AA is and is NOT. Open and Closed meetings? Cross-addictions **** you off? Am I supposed to talk about my inability to stop and not be told I'm "incapable of honesty?" Too "low-bottom?"

ha, I thought "oldtimer" was out of the Cracker Barrel menu.

How did I not hear about this at my months of AA meetings?

Make it hard, people. It's like the cool kids in school.
You kind of have to be all collegiate and graduate from Drunk School to get a degree in Alcoholics Anonymous?


Head spins.

Here is a wonderful introduction to Your First AA Meeting, newcomers. It's not all that hard. A must-read (oh, and get your dollar ready...because really, it embarrassing when they pass the plate and you're blubbering away and don't even have a dollar dollar bill...)

And, let me tell you something about humility. Get over yourself and "sit down and listen"...until you hear someone who gives you a path of RECOVERY. Believe me (and everyone else who will tell you that some AA meetings are "group therapy without a therapist in sight"--man, you actually have to heed your dumba$$ alcoholic mind and actually go and find another "meeting." Talk about being hard enough as it is. Hopefully you're desperate enough to go on. Please read.

Your First AA Meeting<

So that's what I learned about AA and getting a Spiritual Awakening at the SR Academy of Drunkeness Alcoholism/RR/ Disease?/Mental Illness/Allergy/Oh My God-It's "God"/Therapy/Comraderie Needed/Whatever You Want, Etc. [add your method--no offense at omission but hey]

Nyte Byrd

This is a rather long article, and unfortunately I don't have a URL to post for it. So for anyone interested, read at leisure. It was written by an addictions specialist.

Also, another very insightful video that offers an excellent inside view of AA from a layman's perspective with outside views is A&E Investigative Reports:Alcoholics Anonymous.

Worth the watch.

Clean and Sober - (Article written by an Addiction Therapist)


Getting sober is easy. Most alcoholics and addicts have done it dozens of times. It's
staying sober over the long haul, living one day at a time for years, that's hard. It's the
part that takes courage. "Staying sober," says one recovering alcoholic I know, "is not for weaklings." Alcoholics Anonymous, the oldest and largest of the 12-step programs(based on AA's 12 steps to recovery), figures that one-half to two-thirds of its members are men and women who have gone through the pain of getting sober and now would like to know more about what they're in for. They have questions: What is this sobriety business all about anyway? Can I really change? How will sobriety affect my everyday life? What about work? How are my family members going to react? Will my finances ever get straightened out? These questions need some good answers.

The men you'll read about here are involved in Alcoholics Anonymous or one of its spinoffs, including Cocaine Anonymous, Marijuana Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous. Such men are easy to find, eager to talk, and their definitions of terms like "alcoholic", "alcoholism," "sobriety," and "relapse" tend to be consistent.

However, AA isn't the only way to go. You can always find men who have achieved and maintained sobriety in other ways. The truth is, any man who stops drinking and using has a chance to turn his life around. But it has been my experience as an addiction psychotherapist, working for many years with many recovering people, that the men and women who are involved in a 12-step program seem to have more fun, get more done and get it done faster. For them, the anonymous group acts as a kind of greenhouse - it speeds things up.

The guy who thinks that being clean and sober won't change anything in his life is in for a shock - the first of many. What he soon discovers is that chemicals have affected every area of his life, and so will sobriety. Before he's through, no stone in his universe will go unturned. It's part of what makes the journey rough, and what drives the weaker men back to the bars.

When a man starts drinking and drugging (he may have started as young as age nine or 10), he falls into a kind of developmental time warp from which, like Rip Van Winkle, he doesn't emerge until he gets sober. He wakes up to find that his body has matured but his emotions haven't. Now he's got to play catch-up. Even if he's 40, he's still got to go through being 15 again! This phase is uncomfortable, even painful, but it can't be sidestepped or skipped. As Fritz Perls, the father of Gestalt therapy, once said, "The only way out is "through." The recovering man will simply have to hold his breath and walk right through it.

One Month to to One Year Sober - (SOBER - Son Of a Bitch Everything's Real)

New comers are clueless about feelings. If you ask one of them if he's happy, sad, mad or glad, he doesn't know. He'll make something up. Usually his answer is, "I'm fine." But he's not. He's on an emotional roller coaster, flying high one minute and feeling depressed the next. Sometimes his feelings have nothing to do with what's going on. In some cases, it's biochemical - he's still detoxing.

When he steps out into the Real World, the recovering alcoholic is suddenly faced with the unnerving task of handling everyday life sober. Each familiar task is now a hurdle. There's the first time he's home alone with no one watching him. Then there's the first day back at work, the first business lunch, the first Monday night football game on TV, the first party, the first date, the first sexual encounter. Each of these 'firsts' has struck down some very fine men, so getting through them, one by one, deserves a medal.

Along with the 'firsts' comes the 'shocks'. Among them are:

1) Not everybody in the Real World is as supportive as they were in the treatment center;
2) one's peers begin to relapse right after discharge;
3) the cravings for chemicals don't always go away and stay away;
4) loved ones sometimes try to sabotage sobriety;
5) not all love interests find a sober man sexy;
6) feelings hurt;
7) sometimes it's uncomfortable to walk into an AA meeting alone;
8) it gets easier to come up with "reasons" for not going to AA meetings;
9) cliches like "work the program," "live one day at a time." "easy does it," "first things first," and "use the phone" are easier said than done, and
10) sobriety is hard work.

About three months into sobriety, feelings hit with a vengeance. Until now, the newcomer has been so busy being dedicated to sobriety that he hasn't had time to pay attention to what's been going on in his gut. He thinks he's been through the worst of it, that from here on sobriety is going to be a snap. He congratulates himself for getting through it. Then all of a sudden - whammo! - he gets hit with a lifetime of stuffed emotions, the hurt, grief, longing, fear, humiliation, rage, even joy, and he's knocked for a loop. The honeymoon is over.

A lot of men don't make it through. "The more technical term for this highly emotional
phase of sobriety is 'the post-acute-withdrawal syndrome,' or the 'post-drug-impairment syndrome.' says psychiatrist Paul Grossman, a Los Angeles addiction specialist.
"So when a guy calls me up in a panic and asks, 'What's wrong? Am I crazy?' I'll say to him, 'You're having a feeling, aren't you? Well, don't worry, it's normal. You've got post-acute-withdrawal syndrome, that's all,' and it sounds so nice and technical that the man feels instantly reassured."

One "feeling" very common to this phase of recovery is anxiety. Old-timers love to say:
"If you're anxious it means you're either doing something you shouldn't be doing, or you're not doing something you should be doing." The new man is supposed to go figure out which it is, and fix it. But chances are he doesn't appreciate the wisdom of the remark, because he's still convinced he can outsmart universal laws. He thinks he can skip work, write bad checks, sleep with his neighbor's wife, forget about his kid's baseball game - and not suffer any consequences. Then he'll say, "Gee, yesterday I had an anxiety attack, and I have no idea what caused it."

Only later on in his sobriety does he finally come up with an astounding concept: How he feels is directly related to what he does. If he does bad, he feels bad. He he does good, he feels good.

Once the sober man stops being a space cadet, between six months and one year into his program, people in his life actually want to sit down and talk to him - his kids, his boss, his wife, his current love interest, his best friend. They want to tell him how they feel. Now, for the man who for years has been thorouhly self-obsessed, this isn't an exciting prospect. But by the end of his first year, the recovering man knows that running away from other people's feelings as well as his own doesn't work. He's tried it. So now he's more likely to sit tight, grit his teeth and let the discussion of feelings begin.

One to Two Years Sober

While the first year is about getting sober and staying sober, the second year is about living sober. The recovering alcoholic is supposed to go forth into the world and put what he's learned into practice: "Go walk like you talk," he's told. "Don't just talk about honesty, live honestly."

The reason for taking action - changing destructive habits he's indulged for a lifetime - soon becomes obvious: The ones who don't do it get loaded again, and sometimes they die. When it finally happens to somebody he knows, it occurs to him that maybe he's not bulletproof after all. He gets into action fast. He even becomes a fanatic about it, which many experts fel is an absolute necessity at this stage.

"The recovering alcoholic can't be casual about sobriety," Grossman says. "Alcohol and drugs are such powerful medicines that he has to fight with something equally powerful and strong. He has to become a zealot with a religious fervor. When he can become a raving lunatic about sobriety, then maybe he has a chance."

Being a sobriety fanatic may take different forms. The man may attend 20 12-step meetings a week; he may turn into a cliche-spouting robot; he may become so intense he loses his sense of humor. Most fanatics do. ( He gets it back eventually.) Friends and family tell him to "lighten up," which he hears as their not being supportive of his sobriety. He feels safer inside AA's walls. Yet the first time somebody suggests to him (and they will) that he's using AA as a "crutch," he flips out, because down deep he believes it. He tells his sponsor, "If I were really a tough guy, I could do this on my own." His sponsor tells him, "A crutch is a vehicle of motion to get you from one place to another until you can get there on your own," and he feels better.

The recovering man in his second year hears over and over, "We're only as sick as our secrets," and he's full of secrets. He won't talk. He still insists, "I'm fine," What are his secrets? The usual: He's eating too much ice cream and he's getting fat. He's obsessed with somebody "inappropriate" for him. He's late to work. He doesn't know why he gets all choked up whenever he hears a man talk about his father. And then there's his secret about sex: For months he's been impotent. He can understand that sort of thing happening before sobriety, but after? What gives? Finally, at an AA men's meeting, he hears another man complaining about the same thing, and he's reassured. He learns that impotence happens to a lot of guys in the beginning, and it's usually temporary. Not to worry. Whew! He's relieved. But would he ask anybody about it directly? No way!

One of the nicer things that happens to a recovering alcoholic man in the second year is the work he begins to do on his character. Here's an experience that one man, Ramon, had at 18 months of sobriety: "It was the day before payday, and I was down to my $1.79. I was hungry, but I was trying to learn to live on my salary, so I wasn't going to borrow. I went to a takeout place. What I wanted was two burritos and a Coke, but I only had enough money for one burrito and a Coke, so that's what I ordered. I paid for it up front. When my order came, there were two burritos in the bag, so I had a debate with myself: Should I tell him he'd given me two burritos? Then I decided that since I'm trying to work an honest AA program, I'd have to tell him - even though I didn't want to. "Hey, you gave me two burritos and I ordered only one," I said. "It's my mistake." the cook said, "so you can keep it."

Two to Three Years Sober -

By the time the man hits two, he's in a groove. He's beginning to enjoy his seniority, because by now lots of people have come into sobriety after him. He may even be helping a few of them.

"Taking action" - the 12-step program's term for behavior that's responsible and compassionate - has becme second nature to him. He's working, he's busier than ever, he's fitting more and more activities into his schedule - maybe too many. He's looking good, too. He may have joined a gym, or started jogging, or quit smoking.

In fact, all dressed up in a clean shirt and self-assured from many talks from AA podiums, the two-to-three year man looks so good and sounds so good, he's dangerous. If he's single, he's even more of a risk, because the truth is, he still doesn't know himself. He intellectualizes. He can talk with his partner until dawn about relationships, spirituality and the nature of the universe. He can say, for example, "We have to be honest with each other about what we want," but when the time actually comes to ask for something he wants (like a night off to stay home by himself), he can't do it: "What if I hurt her feelings?" He ignores his gut. He still thinks feelings are abnormal and out to get him.

But he keeps making improvements. He does listen. He is kinder than he used to be, and much less defensive. He can admit when he's wrong (sometimes). And he can say he's sorry (sometimes). All in all, he's sort of nice to have around.

Three to Four Years Sober -

By three years of sobriety, the recovering addict has been through, and survived a lot. Many things along the way could have brought him down - a relationship, a job change, a chance meeting with an old drug connection, a death, a financial crisis, a heart problem - but they didn't. He got through each one of them, and he survived.

Life is going pretty smoothly. He's comfortable in the program, he's "worked" the steps, he's "bonded" with friends, some of whom he'll probably have for life (if they, and he, stay sober). On the whole, he's feeling wonderful and he's proud of himself.

On the negative side, he's starting to get critical of others. Instead of being grateful just to be alive, he wonders to himself, "Is this all there is?" He's beginning to believe that he's got this program licked, which justifies slacking off on the basics. "I feel so good, I don't need to go to meetings." When old-timers look for the warning signs of impending relapse, these are the "red flags" they notice first.

Up until now, the three-to-four year man has been harboring a childlike view of sobriety. "If I'm good, I'll be rewarded." It blows up in his face. Life, he discovers, has its limitations. Like everybody else, he has good days and bad days, ups and downs. Sobriety doesn't fix everything. nor does it automatically mean he's going to get what he wants. He feels disillusioned, even depressed, which is another red flag because it can evolve into "reasons" for drinking. He asks himself, "If sobriety, like virtue, is its own reward, is that enough?" He doesn't even realize that for somebody whose life was so recently in the toilet, that's an arrogant question.

Seeing these red flags will alert old-timers that the new man is in danger. One sponsor, who'd been trying the gentle approach with one of these guys, but to no avail, finally shouted in his ear, "Damn it! You're going to drink!" The man got scared enough to pay attention. It saved his life.

Four to Five Years Sober -

Between the fourth and fifth years, the dropout rate is alarming. This is the year that separates the men from the boys.

The ones who dropout are the ones who simply don't know they aren't as wise as they think they are. The wise recoverng alcoholic, who knows he's human, foolish and vulnerable, takes steps to protect himself; the foolish recovering alcoholic, who thinks he's wise and invincible, doesn't. He usually gets shot down.

The men who are left after the foolish ones depart have the "right stuff" to continue the journey. They're prepared for the rigors of the fift year, which some people call the "spiritual" year. Said one recovering man, "For me, spirituality means ethical behavior. I have to walk the way I talk. I have to be faithful to my woman and honest in all daily activities. When I do that, I feel better. That's why I do it."

By his fourth birthday the man has putout most of the major fires in his life, has recommitted himself to his program, and now is able to turn his attention to some of the philosophical questions he's been putting off. Maybe they're things he hasn't even dared consider until now. What is the meaning of life? What work do I really want to do? What's my mission? What are the priorities in my life? Which of my relationships are of value to me? Which are not? What do I intend to do about the ones that are not? Do I really believe in God?

Today, it's quality living the man is after, not just squeaking by. The push in AA encourages each man to follow his dream. Maybe no one in his life has ever done that before.

Secrets of Long-Term Sobriety -

Some AA members have been sober for almost as long as AA has been in existence,
over 60 years. One thing they learned along the way is eternal vigilance. No matter how many of those one-day-at-a-times they've managed to string together, the AA Big Book says, "The time will come when nothing can stop you from the first drink." The old-timers train for that moment.

How can a man prepare for it? What should he do to prevent a relapse? Old-timers poin tto three basic "secrets to success":

1) Keep going to meetings;
2) Live one day at a time; and
3) Work with others.

There are more, but those are the basics.

Usually the first thing a man who lost his sobriety will tell you is that he stopped going to meetings. The hearing phenomenon of "one drunk talking to another" is the most important discovery its founders made. It's that simple. When one drunk talks to another, both are healed. So when one of them stop going to meetings and stops talking he cuts himself off from the support group, and he relapses.

The next thing, the idea of living one day at a time, is a hard concept to get at first, but what it means is that instead of getting overwhelmed by the tasks facing us, we need to break everything down into manageable segments - one segment at a time, one task at a time, one day at a time. A man can handle almost anything for a day - a bad marriage, an awful job, even prison. So don't project down the road into the future. Just do what's in front of you today.

And finally, there's working with others, or doing "service." The 12-step philosphy involves a paradox: "You can't keep it unless you give it away." If the man expects to keep his sobriety, in other words, he has to be willing to help somebody else just as he was helped. The chain continues. It's the chain that was started over 60 years ago by two men in Ohio and has grown to over 2 million people around the world.

"Of course, the real secret of long-term sobriety," says one old guy who has been sober over 50 years, "is you just outlast them!"

Kmber2010

For me it was still placing importance on alcohol. I may not have been drinking but that was about it. I still thought about it and did absolutely nothing positive in the way I lived and the way I saw myself that I was just a problem or a temptation away. I was unhappy whereas now in recovery I'm blessed.

MrDavid

Don't be so hard on yourself, let go and let God instead.

~God bless~