Never Again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 2
Never Again
I pledge before God and The World I am never doing this again.
I'm done with drinking because I'm almost twenty-nine years old and I don't want to die.
I'm so ******* scared, and I want to remember this day for the rest of my life. Last night was lost to alcohol. My brother and I binged. Like so many other days. Now at two-thirty the next afternoon I'm not yet sober. I just went downstairs and poured away the beers that were in the fridge. Went into my brother's room before that and said, “Let's never do this again. Let's stop drinking together.
I hope he stops with me. I really do. He could. He's got more will power than I could ever hope for. Together or alone though I' done. I love him so ******* much and I want him to be ok as well. He's nine years old than me. He recently turned thirty-eight. We're both **** ups but I want us to be **** ups together. He drinks too much but he's not like me. He has more control. Most of the time when I start I drink till I crash. He has way more control.
God, please help me help myself. I want to get old before I die. Pass away in my sleep. God, please help me help myself. I honestly don't know if I can do this. If I fail I'm going to go to AA or something.
I can't express to you how ******* scared I am. God, let me get through this. Let my body process an obscene amount of alcohol one more time. Then never ever let me forget this day. Don't let me lie to myself. I might not drink everyday but I am, I think, some kind of alcoholic.
God, help me help myself.
Please.
Let me remember this. In a week don't let me lie to myself. Don't let me tell myself anything other than what I am.
I'm almost twenty-nine years old and I don't to die before my time.
I'm done with drinking because I'm almost twenty-nine years old and I don't want to die.
I'm so ******* scared, and I want to remember this day for the rest of my life. Last night was lost to alcohol. My brother and I binged. Like so many other days. Now at two-thirty the next afternoon I'm not yet sober. I just went downstairs and poured away the beers that were in the fridge. Went into my brother's room before that and said, “Let's never do this again. Let's stop drinking together.
I hope he stops with me. I really do. He could. He's got more will power than I could ever hope for. Together or alone though I' done. I love him so ******* much and I want him to be ok as well. He's nine years old than me. He recently turned thirty-eight. We're both **** ups but I want us to be **** ups together. He drinks too much but he's not like me. He has more control. Most of the time when I start I drink till I crash. He has way more control.
God, please help me help myself. I want to get old before I die. Pass away in my sleep. God, please help me help myself. I honestly don't know if I can do this. If I fail I'm going to go to AA or something.
I can't express to you how ******* scared I am. God, let me get through this. Let my body process an obscene amount of alcohol one more time. Then never ever let me forget this day. Don't let me lie to myself. I might not drink everyday but I am, I think, some kind of alcoholic.
God, help me help myself.
Please.
Let me remember this. In a week don't let me lie to myself. Don't let me tell myself anything other than what I am.
I'm almost twenty-nine years old and I don't to die before my time.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
I wish you the best with that, nfc90210, I really do. I made that same promise hundreds of times, and never had the power to actually live up to it. Like you, I spent a couple of years trying it, adding in doctors, meds, counseling outpatient and inpatient rehab, support groups. And still, I didn't have the power to keep that promise.
Taking the 12 Steps in AA changed all that for me. Please consider that if you find yourself breaking your promise.
Taking the 12 Steps in AA changed all that for me. Please consider that if you find yourself breaking your promise.
Grateful Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: MI
Posts: 1,080
No apologies for language necessary, lol
I'm glad to hear that you are so bound and determined that this shall be your last time feeling this way. I wish you all the luck in the world.
That being said, please don't wait too long to figure out a plan for your recovery.
Simple abstinence rarely works.
I'm glad to hear that you are so bound and determined that this shall be your last time feeling this way. I wish you all the luck in the world.
That being said, please don't wait too long to figure out a plan for your recovery.
Simple abstinence rarely works.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Ireland
Posts: 46
You sound ready to make the commitment to staying sober, no ifs, no buts. If you truly want to quit, not one day at a time, but permanently, look up AVRT - Addiction Voice Recognition Technique and make a Big Plan. In a week, things may look a lot better. I am saying this because I know you will get a torrent of appeals to go to AA, do the steps, etc so you should know there are effective and simpler ways to do what you want to do.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 432
Yeah, if you're pretty convinced that you've got a problem, then relying on willpower alone has an almost zero success rate. That's why we have AA, treatment programs, outpatient stuff. Do you want to tell us how much you're drinking every week? Do you drink every day?
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome ...glad you are going to quit....
A sober future is simply better in every way.
Please read this link on de toxing....
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
I do use God and AA for my successful recovery
It's been working well for me for many years.
All my best to you and your brother
A sober future is simply better in every way.
Please read this link on de toxing....
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
I do use God and AA for my successful recovery
It's been working well for me for many years.
All my best to you and your brother
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Ontario
Posts: 81
Glad to hear you want to quit drinking. Im 28 years old and quit drinking 6 months ago. Im not sure what your situation is, but when I quit drinking I had to move into my own apartment. Having an alcohol free place, is very important for me. All the best!!!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,781
Welcome to SR!
I came here almost three years ago and the support here has been wonderful. I just celebrated my first year sober and it's been so rewarding. I wish the same peace of mind for you.
I came here almost three years ago and the support here has been wonderful. I just celebrated my first year sober and it's been so rewarding. I wish the same peace of mind for you. 
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Hull, England.
Posts: 169
Awesome to hear you asking God for help. That was how myself and millions others like me started and continued forward in a healthy sobriety that actually lasts. Unfortunately if you are anything like me you will be unable at certain times to bring to mind the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. AA has worked for millions. I wish you the best of luck with whatever recovery path you choose to follow.
You are not alone.
You are not alone.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: CA
Posts: 268
Originally Posted by Benowhere 
You sound ready to make the commitment to staying sober, no ifs, no buts. If you truly want to quit, not one day at a time, but permanently, look up AVRT - Addiction Voice Recognition Technique and make a Big Plan. In a week, things may look a lot better. I am saying this because I know you will get a torrent of appeals to go to AA, do the steps, etc so you should know there are effective and simpler ways to do what you want to do.
We (I) only care about you not drinking and living a full and productive life - I don't care how you get there, just get there.
Your prayers are awesome......that is the only way I have stayed clean/sober for 103 days was through prayer - and talking with other recovering people.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 6
If I fail I'm going to go to AA or something.
You took a great step in coming here! You sound like you WANT to quit, which is the first step. Now you have to work at it...
God, help me help myself.
Please.
Let me remember this. In a week don't let me lie to myself. Don't let me tell myself anything other than what I am.
Please.
Let me remember this. In a week don't let me lie to myself. Don't let me tell myself anything other than what I am.
Print off what you wrote above, and when you get a craving for alcohol, reread it. Remember how desperate you felt this morning, how badly you want to NEVER repeat the same mistake.
Give AA a chance, and/or talk to your doctor, and/or look into other support groups. Whatever it takes.
Guest
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
I too made many, many promises that I was never drinking again. Wrote and signed my name on calendars etc that I was quitting for good, I begged to be locked away when I was tempted to pick up again. Inevitably I broke these promises and just got smashed again next weekend.
I had to commit to recovery 100% and dedicate my life to my sobriety and recovery. I had to change my thinking and attitudes big-time in order to stay gratefully sober and not just restless, irritable and p*ssed-off.
I used and continue to use AA, SR and much wisdom from elsewhere. I made and make no grand promises in regards to my sobriety other than I made sure that 'just for today' I didn't take that first drink. Like I say I needed to seriously get into a recovery program to make this feasible. I had to 'act' or else i would just pick up again when i felt better and felt p*ssed-off again knowing that only alcohol would give me the release.
It is possible to stay gratefully sober and live a more rewarding and fulfilling life than stuck in miserable active alcoholism.
All The Best
I had to commit to recovery 100% and dedicate my life to my sobriety and recovery. I had to change my thinking and attitudes big-time in order to stay gratefully sober and not just restless, irritable and p*ssed-off.
I used and continue to use AA, SR and much wisdom from elsewhere. I made and make no grand promises in regards to my sobriety other than I made sure that 'just for today' I didn't take that first drink. Like I say I needed to seriously get into a recovery program to make this feasible. I had to 'act' or else i would just pick up again when i felt better and felt p*ssed-off again knowing that only alcohol would give me the release.
It is possible to stay gratefully sober and live a more rewarding and fulfilling life than stuck in miserable active alcoholism.
All The Best
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Great Outdoors
Posts: 1,992
"I pledge before God and The World I am never doing this again."
Welcome nfc. This sounds like my daily hangover prayer..soon as it faded..towards the end of the day...I was back at the bar perched on my bar stool. I hung in like a trooper..Used to brag that I could drink anyone under the table. I am hoping this isn't hangover sobriety day for you. I hope that you do quit drinking..and that if your brother doesn't quit with you, you stay strong and move forward.. Check in and let us know how you are doing!
Welcome nfc. This sounds like my daily hangover prayer..soon as it faded..towards the end of the day...I was back at the bar perched on my bar stool. I hung in like a trooper..Used to brag that I could drink anyone under the table. I am hoping this isn't hangover sobriety day for you. I hope that you do quit drinking..and that if your brother doesn't quit with you, you stay strong and move forward.. Check in and let us know how you are doing!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 889
NFC I have been right where you are. Literally.... I have 31 days sober today. Just take some deep breaths and understand that everything you are feeling is due to drinking the booze. Once you stop drinking you're not going to have this problem.
I would strongly reccommend you go to an AA meeting tomorrow. Not sure if you've ever been but judging from your post you believe in god so that should not be a stumbling block. Also, don't base YOUR recovery on your brother. I think it's understandable that you are concerned with him, but for me, I couldn't manage my own life and sure as he11 couldn't manage someone else.
Alcoholism is a terrible disease when left un-managed. There is a way out. For me the way out was AA... I know you're full of self will and fury right now and that can keep us sober for a few days. But if you're anything like me your disease has a very short memory. Within a day or two, you're mind will tell you that "it will be different this time, have a few, etc..." Nothing changes if nothing changes. If you are open to checking out AA I would do it. Best of luck and sorry you're having such a tough night. You helped me stay sober tonight and I appreciate your post.
I would strongly reccommend you go to an AA meeting tomorrow. Not sure if you've ever been but judging from your post you believe in god so that should not be a stumbling block. Also, don't base YOUR recovery on your brother. I think it's understandable that you are concerned with him, but for me, I couldn't manage my own life and sure as he11 couldn't manage someone else.
Alcoholism is a terrible disease when left un-managed. There is a way out. For me the way out was AA... I know you're full of self will and fury right now and that can keep us sober for a few days. But if you're anything like me your disease has a very short memory. Within a day or two, you're mind will tell you that "it will be different this time, have a few, etc..." Nothing changes if nothing changes. If you are open to checking out AA I would do it. Best of luck and sorry you're having such a tough night. You helped me stay sober tonight and I appreciate your post.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
