please help
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: CA
Posts: 268
Originally Posted by NYCDoglvr 
Oh yes, I'm in AA and this is the foundation. I'm powerless over alcohol in that I can't have one or two drinks. One drink and I typically end up in a blackout. And I can't think myself sane -- my best thinking let me right to the rooms of AA, lol.
What I meant in the earlier post is that we must make a decision to not drink today. To do whatever it takes to stay sober. AA makes it easier because one is surrounded by loving people who have walked the same road you're stumbling around on.
Or, this can happen. I have many years of sobriety but I can decide to cut back on meetings. The old "isms" return so I become miserable. Denial takes over, something bad happens, I decide that maybe I'm really not an alcoholic and I decide to have one drink. My life spirals quickly out of control and perhaps I die. Some can get sober again, some can't.
What I meant in the earlier post is that we must make a decision to not drink today. To do whatever it takes to stay sober. AA makes it easier because one is surrounded by loving people who have walked the same road you're stumbling around on.
Or, this can happen. I have many years of sobriety but I can decide to cut back on meetings. The old "isms" return so I become miserable. Denial takes over, something bad happens, I decide that maybe I'm really not an alcoholic and I decide to have one drink. My life spirals quickly out of control and perhaps I die. Some can get sober again, some can't.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 411
Originally Posted by pinkfirefly
i just need some one to talk to sometimes. i don't really have any friends, and my husband doesn't like to talk to me about my feelings.
As my favorite AA closing saying goes, when everyone is holding hands in a circle at the end, "Let the hand on the left and the hand on the right remind you that none of us has to do this alone."
GG
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: NC
Posts: 30
Pink,
I've got two kids. I was to watch them until my wife got home. I would have a buzz on by then. Sometimes I couldn't control it and end up passed out when she got home. I promised not to drink anymore, to control it for the kids. In the back of my mind I thought I could cut back. Wash and repeat. I told myself I wanted to quit but didn't. I had to continue the cycle.
I then had a moment of clarity. I decided not to drink anymore. I then went through all the situations I would have by not drinking. They suddenly didn't matter. Pink, I havn't had a hangover in almost a year. I can't explain to you how amazing it feels. My wife is in love with me again. I'm fit and healthy. No more shakes....none.
It's a wonderful world out there full of love and laughing kids, but you are not quitting for them, nor your husband. You are doing it just for you. You can be selfish about it. This is something you get to control. You have the power to get to be happy.
2010 was my year. I'll let you have 2011 but you'll have to share.
I've got two kids. I was to watch them until my wife got home. I would have a buzz on by then. Sometimes I couldn't control it and end up passed out when she got home. I promised not to drink anymore, to control it for the kids. In the back of my mind I thought I could cut back. Wash and repeat. I told myself I wanted to quit but didn't. I had to continue the cycle.
I then had a moment of clarity. I decided not to drink anymore. I then went through all the situations I would have by not drinking. They suddenly didn't matter. Pink, I havn't had a hangover in almost a year. I can't explain to you how amazing it feels. My wife is in love with me again. I'm fit and healthy. No more shakes....none.
It's a wonderful world out there full of love and laughing kids, but you are not quitting for them, nor your husband. You are doing it just for you. You can be selfish about it. This is something you get to control. You have the power to get to be happy.
2010 was my year. I'll let you have 2011 but you'll have to share.
Grateful Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: MI
Posts: 1,080
A decision. Will you or won't you?
RIGHT NOW.... you CAN and HAVE THE POWER to NOT PICK UP THE FIRST DRINK.
You aren't an animal, with no reasoning skills. Stop. Think. Play it out.
Just for today. Just for the next half hour. Make the decision that you will not drink.
Then reevaluate.
Make a call to a friend. Call a hotline. Find a meeting.
I'm a personal trainer, and I have a woman who can eat her way through her entire house in one night. Ya know what I tell her???
READ A BOOK!
She gets so mad at me, but guess what? She's never tried passing the time by reading a book. Do something different.
When the urge hits, wait. Tell yourself, in an hour this urge will be gone, and I will be so glad I didn't pick up.
One day at a time, one hour at a time, and one minute at a time. I used it, and it worked for me. I hope you can make the decision, and then find a distraction.
RIGHT NOW.... you CAN and HAVE THE POWER to NOT PICK UP THE FIRST DRINK.
You aren't an animal, with no reasoning skills. Stop. Think. Play it out.
Just for today. Just for the next half hour. Make the decision that you will not drink.
Then reevaluate.
Make a call to a friend. Call a hotline. Find a meeting.
I'm a personal trainer, and I have a woman who can eat her way through her entire house in one night. Ya know what I tell her???
READ A BOOK!
She gets so mad at me, but guess what? She's never tried passing the time by reading a book. Do something different.
When the urge hits, wait. Tell yourself, in an hour this urge will be gone, and I will be so glad I didn't pick up.
One day at a time, one hour at a time, and one minute at a time. I used it, and it worked for me. I hope you can make the decision, and then find a distraction.
Grateful Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: MI
Posts: 1,080
Originally Posted by nacona
I don't think that I know what a decision is.... or I can't "feel" it. (I kown it sounds dumb that I can't grasp what it means to make a decision, but there it is.)
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: CA
Posts: 268
Originally Posted by julez
A decision. Will you or won't you?
RIGHT NOW.... you CAN and HAVE THE POWER to NOT PICK UP THE FIRST DRINK.
You aren't an animal, with no reasoning skills. Stop. Think. Play it out.
Just for today. Just for the next half hour. Make the decision that you will not drink.
Then reevaluate.
Make a call to a friend. Call a hotline. Find a meeting.
I'm a personal trainer, and I have a woman who can eat her way through her entire house in one night. Ya know what I tell her???
READ A BOOK!
She gets so mad at me, but guess what? She's never tried passing the time by reading a book. Do something different.
When the urge hits, wait. Tell yourself, in an hour this urge will be gone, and I will be so glad I didn't pick up.
One day at a time, one hour at a time, and one minute at a time. I used it, and it worked for me. I hope you can make the decision, and then find a distraction.
RIGHT NOW.... you CAN and HAVE THE POWER to NOT PICK UP THE FIRST DRINK.
You aren't an animal, with no reasoning skills. Stop. Think. Play it out.
Just for today. Just for the next half hour. Make the decision that you will not drink.
Then reevaluate.
Make a call to a friend. Call a hotline. Find a meeting.
I'm a personal trainer, and I have a woman who can eat her way through her entire house in one night. Ya know what I tell her???
READ A BOOK!
She gets so mad at me, but guess what? She's never tried passing the time by reading a book. Do something different.
When the urge hits, wait. Tell yourself, in an hour this urge will be gone, and I will be so glad I didn't pick up.
One day at a time, one hour at a time, and one minute at a time. I used it, and it worked for me. I hope you can make the decision, and then find a distraction.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
I don't think Pink has posted or responded in the last 2 days....this is what usually happens with her.
i would like to hope she is "working on her recovery", but i don't think this is the case....i hope i am wrong.
i would like to hope she is "working on her recovery", but i don't think this is the case....i hope i am wrong.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
Originally Posted by NYCDoglvr
You must understand that it is your decision to pick up a drink each time you do it.
Originally Posted by AA Big Book, 1st
The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
i think this is the very first time I absolutely agree with Keith.....
Pink, we would appreciate hearing from you, i hope you are pursuing something that will work for you.
your current method is only going to make you even more distraught and ill....imagine waking up every morning feeling GOOD, both physically and mentally.
Pink, we would appreciate hearing from you, i hope you are pursuing something that will work for you.
your current method is only going to make you even more distraught and ill....imagine waking up every morning feeling GOOD, both physically and mentally.
1000 Post Club
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 2,284
Originally Posted by Fandy
I don't think Pink has posted or responded in the last 2 days....this is what usually happens with her.
i would like to hope she is "working on her recovery", but i don't think this is the case....i hope i am wrong.
i would like to hope she is "working on her recovery", but i don't think this is the case....i hope i am wrong.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 889
Pinkfirefly... please read this.
RARELY HAVE we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.
You have to decide if you are one of the "unfortunates"... Honesty is the key to recovery. You have to stop taking the first drink. If you do, then you're going to keep being lost and need help. You can't keep doing the same things and expect different results. Hang it there, but recovery takes effort sometimes a ton of effort to maintain sobriety. If it were easy, everyone would be sober.
RARELY HAVE we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.
You have to decide if you are one of the "unfortunates"... Honesty is the key to recovery. You have to stop taking the first drink. If you do, then you're going to keep being lost and need help. You can't keep doing the same things and expect different results. Hang it there, but recovery takes effort sometimes a ton of effort to maintain sobriety. If it were easy, everyone would be sober.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 252
Pinkfirefly,
Just an FYI, there is an "open" meeting today (12/2) - 5:30pm at the Alano Club - 711 McClellan St.
Again, the AA hotline number is 715-297-8897
Tomorrow you have 10am (closed step meeting), 5:30pm (open meeting) and 7pm (closed big book meeting) all at the Alano Club.
Just an FYI, there is an "open" meeting today (12/2) - 5:30pm at the Alano Club - 711 McClellan St.
Again, the AA hotline number is 715-297-8897
Tomorrow you have 10am (closed step meeting), 5:30pm (open meeting) and 7pm (closed big book meeting) all at the Alano Club.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
Denial is so strong in an alcoholic we can loose a great deal before crawling on our hands and knees to AA or a rehab. I had to almost die to make the decision to go to an AA meeting. It's terrible that some people have to loose everything but that happens too. And then some alcoholics never try.
At the same time, she has an enabler (her husband), who provides the home and money to continue drinking. What we learn when getting sober is this: responsibility. It's on the AA coin, I believe.
At the same time, she has an enabler (her husband), who provides the home and money to continue drinking. What we learn when getting sober is this: responsibility. It's on the AA coin, I believe.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: CA
Posts: 268
Originally Posted by Fandy
i think this is the very first time I absolutely agree with Keith.....
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
we usually have quite different viewpoints/opinions....i don't follow AA program.
Although I heard parts of an AA meeting today while waiting in my office lobby for an elevator...(we allow one group to use a meeting room on Sundays when the school is closed....it is a holiday weekend and no security, the place is on lockdown with keycard access only....i wonder how they got in to make their coffee...the lobby was dark and I smelled fresh coffee, then i heard them reciting...and remembered they meet at noon.
Although I heard parts of an AA meeting today while waiting in my office lobby for an elevator...(we allow one group to use a meeting room on Sundays when the school is closed....it is a holiday weekend and no security, the place is on lockdown with keycard access only....i wonder how they got in to make their coffee...the lobby was dark and I smelled fresh coffee, then i heard them reciting...and remembered they meet at noon.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Orlando, Florida
Posts: 214
Originally Posted by Fandy
...i wonder how they got in to make their coffee...the lobby was dark and I smelled fresh coffee, then i heard them reciting...and remembered they meet at noon.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: CA
Posts: 268
Originally Posted by Fandy
we usually have quite different viewpoints/opinions....i don't follow AA program.
Although I heard parts of an AA meeting today while waiting in my office lobby for an elevator...(we allow one group to use a meeting room on Sundays when the school is closed....it is a holiday weekend and no security, the place is on lockdown with keycard access only....i wonder how they got in to make their coffee...the lobby was dark and I smelled fresh coffee, then i heard them reciting...and remembered they meet at noon.
Although I heard parts of an AA meeting today while waiting in my office lobby for an elevator...(we allow one group to use a meeting room on Sundays when the school is closed....it is a holiday weekend and no security, the place is on lockdown with keycard access only....i wonder how they got in to make their coffee...the lobby was dark and I smelled fresh coffee, then i heard them reciting...and remembered they meet at noon.
I will try to remember that this site is for alcoholism period and whatever that entails - all sorts or recovery.
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