Mrzmax

I wrote here once before, so here we go again.. Been drunk since i was 19 or 20, im now 36, right now i cant get in to all the abc's of who i am. So i will make this super short, i have dibeeties and HBP and a host of mental issues as well as damage to my spine. I suffer from insane panic attacks and freak outs, in 2009 i went to the er and was in the hospital over 23 times.

Right now i drink between 6 and 13 tall boys of light beer a day, mostly from 1AM to 9AM every day. The last time i was sober was in 2009 for 2 weeks and did not have to bad of a time going cold turkey. I would like to get to know every one more here but for now this is all i can get the balls up to type.

I refuse to do detox right now but i want to know, is there any one in the world who was able to taper off beer? I have been able in the last weeks to go from 13 tall boys to 10 and now 7 tonight i want to do only 6.


I just need kind words and any words of hope. I come from a long line for addicts, 2 of my brothers died from over dosing on smack and my father who is now dieing of throat cancer was a qt of vodka and a 12 pack a day man till he was 55 he has been drink free for 25 years. He quit cold turkey.

My dad is dying and i already lost my mother to cancer when i was 21, i cant be a drunk for my dad's last days.

Sorry for any spelling mistakes right now.

Miela

Dearest Mrzmax,

I'm so sorry you're going through this at the moment but you are here right now, and that's a positive step.

Re tapering off beer, I honestly don't know how and if that would work. It sounds to me like you need some realtime help with this. Have you tried AA or addiction therapy? You say that you don't want to detox right now? Just wondering why this is when you managed it before without much problem?

Take care Mrzmax. I hope you get the help you deserve.


M

Dee74

Hi Mrzmax
welcome back

Tapering never worked for me - and I had 20 years of trying.

Don't waste time like I did. Just do it. Jump right in. There's a lot of help out there.

I remember from last time you have some health issues. Don't mess around -
see a doctor - and maybe a counsellor, or check out a recovery group like AA...

D

Toronto68

I was never able to taper down the beer. I liked it when I would notice I only had 4 or 6 or whatever the nice number was, but it always crept back up, and never did come back down to "only weekends," which was what I hoped for around the age of 30.

I started out drinking after I became legal, in social/party mode, but I did experiment with having it by myself a few times. I can't picture the thoughts in my head at the time very clearly, but I remember thinking it would have something to do with dealing with my personal struggles. Some of the key things to deal with back then were my self-esteem issues; my mother having a disease that altered her personality (that was like a living death); my father's death (didn't have a great or complete relationship with him, although it was better than when I was growing up); later, my relationship issues (drama); and then my mother's physical death, which came a few years after I had already been drinking every day.

I can be kind in what I have related in the above and also say I see myself as similar, since I drank every day for close to 15 years, but I can't be kind about the Taper Down theory, because I think it is a minority of people rarely heard from that can do that. So stopping is the only option I want to endorse.

BullDog777

I tried the tapering off when i was getting desperate to quit. it always sent me into DT's.

Going cold turkey for you is really dangerous because of the diabetes and more so the high blood pressure. what could happen is you could have a stroke if you do this on your own. when you go cold turkey your blood pressure increases and it stays like that until the detox process is over. so i do not recommend doing this on your own.

however, there is another method that does not require a rehab. most immediate care centers treat alcohol withdrawal. look in the yellow pages and they are the same places that you go to for bronchitis or sprains or a broken finger when your regular dr's office is closed. just call ahead and ask them if they treat alcohol withdrawal. most do. they generally only cost about $50 and will be able to treat you so you don't have to spend thousands on hospitalization.

good luck to you.

newby1961

Welcome, I'm glad to see that you have the willingness to at least try to reach out here. I remember when I would go to meetings loaded I wanted so bad for the pain to go away, but I just wasn't ready to quit. When I was reading your post it reminded me of something I read in the BB, its in Chapter 3 More about Alcoholism. "Most of us have been unwilling to admitt we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistance of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death." I am into kind words but this is a fatal disease I have lost one too many people to it and it sounds like you have too. The kindest I can be is to be honest. Please get some help, you deserve so much more out of life.

Lushwell

It's not kind words that will get you sober. Things will change for the better once you experience enough pain. That is what will motivate you. Kind words will feed your illness. "Pity me, as my plight is hard". When you are ready, help is available. You are at a door with one door handle. That door handle is on your side. Only you can open it, and only you can step through the door. What lies on the other side will be different. It will be better. There is help and a way out on the other side of the door. Right now, all you have done is approach the door. "Give me what you have. It is too hard for me to do what you have done". We can give what we have. It all hinges on you making the decision to step through the door, leaving behind the world you live in now. Your call.

I would be doing you a dis-service by allowing you to wallow outside our door without telling you how to enter. I believe you are in pain. Is it painful enough to walk through the door? I want you to be well. To stop hurting. But I can't help you hurt yourself. I can't.

I won't. I will help you get well.

least

Please get medical help to stop drinking. With your health issues withdrawal could be very dangerous. I tried tapering off too many times to count. I had little success with it and usually ended up right back where I started out: drinking too much too often. Please get help in getting safely thru the detox. Diabetes and high blood pressure are nothing to fool around with.

ZZworldontheweb

I think most people here will agree that tapering off has an ALMOST zero success rate. It's just too hard to control the amount when withdrawal sets in. You have to get past those symptoms and they don't abate AT ALL unless your intake is zero.

smacked

No, tapering never worked for me, or any other alcoholic that I know.

I hope you see a doctor.

sleepie

Tapering never worked for me... I am an all or nothing kind of gal, anyway. I hear your anger and sadness Mrzmax. I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I understand one needs to escape from it all. However, there is never any real escape- only freedom once you come to terms with your circumstances. I am struggling with this myself. Hurting yourself more with alcohol will only feed your problems- something I struggle with as well. It's a long hard road but there are steps you can take to quit drinking and deal with anxiety (also something I am familiar with). So many of us here have anxiety and depression. You're not alone, but I know it may feel that way.

RobbyRobot

So sorry for the deaths of your loved ones. And for the present fatal illness of your Dad. You've been thru and are going thru some tough times for sure. I do have some kind words for you and I hope you do get sober before your Dad's last days.

For me I could taper down for weeks at a time and even get into nursing a single beer all day each day but could only do so if i locked myself up in my room and just went crazy. It was all so useless because even when I could go a few days without drinking i was totally out of it with shakes and emotional / mental problems that i was just suffering something awful. Visions and hearing things. Crazy land. I was 24 yrs old when I finally did a proper supervised detox in a residential rehab back in 1981. Been sober and good ever since. My detox lasted about 2 weeks before I could trust my senses enough to see the reality of my sobriety. Even after that it was still another 2 or 3 weeks before I trusted my senses fully enough to be "normal" whatever the hell normal is, lol .Others have other experiences and you'll have yours too. Milage varies to say the least.

What cutting down did do over a couple of years experience was make it easier to eventually get sober with a proper detox was my experience. Would I taper down knowing what I know now? No, I would just go and do the detox even though it would have been more of a shock to me I'm sure a proper detox would have worked anyways. The thing is, I'll never know for sure because I'll never be drinking again to test any of this talk out. For you I say just go get a good detox and make sure its more than just a detox. Have something ready that instantly gives you alot of ongoing support well past the detox. Don't play with that -- make sure you have things in place for after the detox and that those things have real importance to you -- you'll need them absolutely.

So yeah, you don't have to be drunk on your Dad's last days is the good news, and the tapering you have done won't hurt your quiting, but I have no experience that tapering all of itself ever kept me sober long enough to get anything done. I was just taking a break inbetween drinks as I see it now. Hindsight is always 20/20 of course.

Wish you well and do get into that detox and after care ASAP.

Rob

CarolD

Speaking from my experience ..yes I am a diabetic
you can not get that under control as long as you drink.
As you probably know...diabetes is often called the silent killer.
Your entire body is at risk for complications.

Please take that seriously.....living sober will help you.

Can you sucessfully taper? I think it's far too dangerous to consider.
A medically supervised de tox is called for...IMO


Sorry to know both you and your Dad are in bad health...
Glad you are planning to improve yours.

Mrzmax

I was able to only drink 5 and 1/2 tall boys last night, i feel fine right now. The night before that it was only 7 I normally drink 8 or 9 or 10 but never less than 6

Mrzmax

I should also add the only thing in my life i have under total control is my diabetes. I absolutely want to rid my self from beer. Im sick of this ****, im hung over every single day, i sleep in 4hr blocks, all of the friends i have drink 24/7 but me. I just drink at night. And im sick of blowing $350 a month on beer. Its unreal.

NYCDoglvr

I'm so sorry you're in such a miserable situation. I remember the misery, suffering and self-hate I went through as an active alcoholic and as tough as life is sometimes feel relief that at least I don't have to experience that as well.

I came into the rooms of AA 19+ years ago after being a daily drinker, roughly 3/4 of a magnum of wine per day. I decided to "quit", which for me meant five light beers per day, lol. So when I had to stop completely (almost died!), I went cold turkey from that.

I had withdrawal, which lasts many months, but not seizures or anything. I sat in the rooms of AA crying for six months before I started to feel a bit better.

Hope we can help you! We all understand.

ZZworldontheweb

I can't really support you in this direction brother. Only 5.5 tall boys? Did you actually enjoy them or was that just the minimum you felt like you needed to feel human?

That amount daily just for maintenance is no way to live, pard. It will never be easier to quit completely than it is now.

TheBatman

Tapering off usually doesnt work but im gonna be completely honest with you, you sir are on the road to a bad bad bad situation my friend. Did you know that Beer raises blood sugar and also drops it? And with you being a diabetic you are asking for trouble. did you know that Diabetes can lead to kidney failure which can lead to kidney diaylsis? did you know that drinking beer all the time can make you eventually become a diabetic and it seriously raises your blood sugar? But at times it lowers it? Did you know that beer makes your blood sugar fluctuate up and down?

Did you know that diabetes can lead to amputation of your legs? With you being a diabetic you are in so much more danger than the average drinker, you need to stop before you have irreversable damage. Im just trying to scare you but bit, but its gonna be no joke when your drinking puts you in a diabetic coma (because that's what could happen).

But honestly, fate is one thing that we all have to live with. I do know people with diabetes and high blood pressure that drink and havent had anything happen to them yet, but you like all of us were are playing with fire by drinking, and if you get smoked, well then tahts gonna be too bad indeed. I wish you the best of luck.

wren

I was able to taper off until I was drinking nothing at all. However, it took a LOT of practice and insomnia to get the hang of.

But I had not been drinking as long as you have, and I was possibly drinking less. And I do not have the health problems that you do.
I think that it's best that you get medical help.

One other thing: even though I had tapered down to no alcohol, I still had periodic BAD relapses until I had really started seriously on recovery. Once you have some sort of of support and new coping skills, it's easier to stay sober.
(i'm nearly back to 3 months of sobriety)

suki44883

I refuse to do detox right now but i want to know, is there any one in the world who was able to taper off beer?

You aren't yet far enough in the mire. When you are, you won't say things like...I refuse to do __________. You will be willing to do whatever it takes to quit drinking for good. Living a healthy, sober life is hard work for an alcoholic, but it's worth it. You just have to want it more than anything else in the world.