jhvw2000

I have one of my oldest, most supportive friends in town until the new year. We have a great time together. BUT, while she's in town she always wants to visit our old friends. Well, my old friends, she still talks to them often. Old drinking buddies. Last night we went over to one of their houses and I watched him put down a 5th of jack and some beers. There was alot of temptation there. Also a weird look into the past as to how I use to behave. So today I just dropped her off with the guys, who are all around partying and drinking and using. She doesn't do either, and says she'll make sure I don't do anything. She just doesn't understand that I don't want to be in those situations anymore. I'm afraid this is how it's going to be all week and I will just get to see her when I pick her up and as she gets ready to head out in the morning.

It hurts to think I'd lose another friend, or even miss her visiting, because of drugs and alcohol, but I guess it is what it is. I have to do what I have to do to stay sober. I'm almost to 3 weeks and plan to keep on going.

The one night I really wish there was a meeting and there's none on Sundays. Ugh.

Lushwell

Keep doing what you have to do to stay sober. The friendship may continue or not. It may change. It may end. None of it will be determined right now. You have identified the primary issue, and it is not your friendship. The primary issue is your sobriety. Become secure in that. The rest will fall into place. It will.

CarolD

you know you are doing what is best for you...
well done on your progress.

When I can't get to a meeting....SR is often my haven.
I also use my AA phone list...call someone to talk about whatever.


Forward we go..side by side

Kjell

I've had to drop a few friends since getting sober.

Some friends have dropped me as I no longer interest them being sober.

It's sad. It's hard and it hurts to feel unwanted.

Not much solution in my reply sorry, but some parts of getting sober are painful.

Kjell

MsCooterBrown

I don't hear from too many people any more. They used to call or text for me to join them but they slowly dropped like flies. I used to meet them but the truth is..it is no longer fun after the 1st hour or so. I have found that they just are not that witty after the 3rd or 4th round of long island ice teas! I sound like a sober snob..I don't mean to. In hind sight..the one thing I would do different is surround myself with more variety..not just people who are on a mission to get drunk. Now that I dropped out..it is time to find sober people. It may take a bit of time..but it can be done!

gravity

100% agree with this. I didn't talk to my best friend (ex drinking buddy) for over a year. We now have a different sort of friendship but still strong. Really, my true friends sort of revealed themselves - they stood by me as I recovered from my active alcoholism.

Being an AA member, I have many sober friends and acquaintances. I also re-established friendships with my relatives and others.

Too many friends!

It's going to take making some hard decisions & actions in the short term and being patient as new and changed friendships take shape.

For your sobriety, it's worth it.

April999

I know what you mean. I just went to a xmas gathering, where I was the only one not drinking. I stayed for about an hour or so. Maybe, ask your friend to do something like see a movie, or go for lunch.

Good luck with your sobriety!

foghead

I feel this way to at the minute. MY best mate ( drink buddy } doesnt really bother with me now when i told him i was done with the drink. Id say most of my friends were formed out of drinking so now im sort of on my own. Its pretty dam hard when no one seems to understand why you have quit drinking but you know why and you no its the right time to quit now because only you truly know how you last felt from drinking. stay strong

Kmber2010

Jhvw....You are here and doing great. You are putting yourself first and that my friend is amazing. I have lost many friends and most of what I knew when I got sober but through recovery I am happy, healthy, clear headed and am now doing what is best for me and the people I have in my life (while a small group) care about me. No one really cared before.....if I kicked from the drinking I would get some sad blurb on someone's facebook or maybe here on SR. Nahhhhhh I deserve better so it is that has taken control of my life and work recovery.

You are right there and what a good vibe to see. Hang in there. We get it!!

NYCDoglvr

"Go to any lengths to stay sober ..." This is one of those times. Is she such a friend that she'll readily put you in a situation that may have very bad result? Have you told her alcoholism is a life and death disease, that you could loose everything you have in a heartbeat if you drink?