Redhead84

Well.......I F-ed up. I posted on here a little bit a few weeks ago. Maybe a month-I don't remember.
Well 2 weeks ago I had a few gulps of Jager from the bottle, I think I remember taking 2-4 Klonopin [what I was prescribed], and hitting my head on the wall resulting in a large lump over my eye and 2 black eyes. This happened on a Tuesday night. Then I fell asleep. Come Wednesday I was in and out all day in some what of a coma....I remember texting my therapist, calling ppl., taking a shower....then before I knew it Thursday 5AM came and I found myself in the guest room bed frantically calling people to come help me. I was home alone.
I spend all day Thurs. in the hospital-taking blood, did a CT scan and urine sample. they wanted to take me to a local rehab but the funding for transportation ended in early Dec so they instead allowed me to go to my aunt's home. I stayed there for a couple of days.

Anyway......so we [parents and myself] have a rehab place picked out-now it's about funding. There are local AA meetings but my damn shyness gets the best of me and I don't want to go-simply because I don't know anyone. Such a silly reason.

I feel fine today......my parents have hid all the alcohol-which I find insulting because I won't go around trying to find it. I figure that event that happened to me caused me to never want to drink again. I feel shame and embarrassment enough....

I think when I first posted on this website I mentioned something about getting withdraw sickness about a month ago. I had a sip of red wine 2 days ago.
The bruising around my eye has gone down pretty much all the way and the lump is almost gone.

Dee74

Welcome back redhead
sorry you've been in the wars.

I'm a bit confused tho...

For me not to have any of those embarrassing (and dangerous) moments anymore, I had to cut alcohol out of my life completely. Not one drop. Ever.

I think you might be the same redhead?
D

Antiderivative

Its not a "silly" reason. It may be a deadly reason. Your shyness may prevent you from getting the help you that you need. If you don't get help, then you may end up like the singer in your avatar: six feet under. Get help, you need it.

I just googled "free rehabs in Marylands" and there are plenty of free/affordable rehabs. Start making calls. I wish you the best.

Maryland Drug & Alcohol Rehabs (Low Cost) — ChooseHelp.com

Redhead84

yeah I got confused from what I wrote...what I meant was... yesterday [monday] i only had a sip of red wine I found that my parents stashed in the linen closet. if they hide it, i have a way of finding it sadly enough.
just to backtrack-the second day i was at my aunts i drank a small sip of her vanilla extract. this was around nov 10. then i didn't drink again until i got back home which was last week.

anyway, nonetheless-I....I don't know what the heck my problem is--socially i mean--I actually emailed my guitar teacher and asked him if he knew of anyone with an issue that is willing to talk. I'm using this website as well as talking to other people that were in this issue.

I did not throw up at all during the whole episode [before,during or after] going to the hospital.

**I read a few threads from people saying that they were able to stop using this website, talkin to you all. is that true? I know everyone's case is different-and I haven't felt sick at all recently. Is it possible to get support solely through this site?**

Redhead84

The other issue-aside from the addiction-is my learning disability from brain trauma at birth. this is why I REALLY should not be drinking-I already have brain damage. I have ADD now and have always had trouble with learning. I have noticed within the last couple of months my memory is having some what of an issue.

Dee74

I was able to stop through this website, redhead, but I'd been drinking heavily for 20 years and I nearly died.

It was my time, I think - I was past looking for hidden wine, y'know?

I really really wanted to stop the way I'd been living - it was just a wonderful bit of kismet I found the support I needed here.

But the work has to be down to us - and that's a pretty big thing to ask of anyone.

That's why most people find real life support - whether it's AA or some other recovery group, or rehab, or a doctor or a therapist.

I'd venture it would probably be easier for you with some kind of real life support, redhead.
D

least

I have weekly sessions with my terrific addiction counselor as well as coming here every day.: And I've just reached a year sober and this site had a lot to do with it.

It's anonymous enough to be honest and personal enough to be genuine. And it helps me a lot to read the newcomers' stories. For one thing it gives me a purpose - to help the newcomer and give them hope; it also reminds me where I came from and why I don't want to go back there.

So no matter what you can do to stay sober - give it all your effort. It's worth it to live sober. I wake up each morning feeling good, I no longer hate myself, I'm no longer in debt over my spending so much money on alcohol, I have my self respect back, and I am able to take what life throws at me or get the hell out of the way!

It IS possible to stay sober using only this site. Just give it your all.

CarolD

Why not ask your family members to go with you to AA?
I went to my first meeting with a dear friend...and being
I see that often ...new people + supporters sitting together.



Mixing prescribed meds with alcohol is so very dangerous.
Alcohol also blocks the effectiveness of most things.

I use SR as a supplement to my local AA group.
That works out well for me...and can for you too.

All my best to you and your family