Paulos

What I mean is, even if I clean myself up ... get into a REAL program, after 5 years of alcoholism *very heavy binging* is it still possible to live a normal life? I know it's kind of hard to answer this, it's just that my hangovers have been getting worse, and I've been seeing stars and floaters whenever I mixed Pain Pills with the alcohol and it all started I think ... back ... uh... 6ish months ago I'm not 100% sure, when I would take a Darvocet and a huge dishing of caffeine. Just a little er, worried... I know I can do it, but I feel perhaps ... it's too late for me, not mentally, but maybe physically. I can still do push ups, sit ups and I've had check ups but ... I'm just wondering how much damage I've done. I heard people got sober after 20 years and turned out fine... man I got to get my life on track before the train really derails..

LaFemme

Payloads....the only guarantee I can give you is that drinking isn't going to help the situation. That said the body has a remarkable ability to heal andvif your regular checkups are ok I think you have a good shot at full physical recovery.

I drank alcoholically for 5 years too. I have 5+ months sober now and while I feel worlds better I still am bit where I would like to be. Maybe I wont get to 100%....I don't know...but I do know its tons better than ddrinking.

Give yourself the gift of sobriety this Christmas.

Xoxo, LaFemme

Sudz No More

Paulos, I drank heavy every day for more than twenty years. It's not too late for you but if you are getting brain fog and really bad withdrawals your body is telling you something. It might be time to hang up the bottle Buddy.

Justfor1

Mixing pain pills and alcohol can lead to overdose. You say you are even seeing stars when using. Those are likely hallucinations that are caused from the mixture of booze and pain pills. It's not too late for you but I would find a real program fast.

reggiewayne

Paulos... Hello! Your post makes me think about how dangerous thinking too far into the future is. I too have felt what you are saying, and those thoughts are not helpful. Here is what we do know. Mixing pain pills, caffine, and booze is not in your best interest. So, by quitting those things your health will, at a minimum, no longer be negatively affected by those things. Also, from an overall life standpoint I can say that since stopping drinking I am mentlally in such a better place and I know you can be too.

It's not too late for you. Hell, any of us could die today. Please don't let the fear of the future dictate your decision on getting into recovery. For me (and I'm not a religous person) it came down to this. 1. Was my life as I was living making me happy? Answer: No, it was very unmanagable... 2. Was I open to believing in a power greater in myself? Answer: I guess! 3. Was I at least willing to turn my life over to that higher power? Answer: Sure...

Then I went to meeting after meeting. I prayed throughout the day that he many reveal himself to me and help me with my obessision to drink. I pray everyday to just let get through today without drinking. So far it's worked. Also, getting in a room with people that have been where I have been (some much lower) and see how they have recovered gave me hope. Also, I have made a connection with many people in the meetings and have developed the start of friendships. Much better relationships than I had when I was drinking. When I was drinking it was me isolating myself and being discontent with the world. I often thought "this person is dumb, or the government should do this, or my ex is mean, etc... I basically sat there with my poisonous thoughts and got hammered.

The promises of AA say that we will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. I don't know about you, but I want that. Not quite there yet, but I think I will be there someday.

I just wanted to share my thoughts. I do know all about the fear of the future, and today, I don't fear that!!!

BullDog777

Paulos,

I drank alcoholically for 20 years. I started when i was 17 and i'm 37 now. At the end of my drinking, i was drinking a half gallon of vodka or whiskey a day with alot of benzos and painkillers.

i survived. barely, but i did.

in my opinion, 5 years is definately recoverable.

instead of thinking "what if?" and "I wonder if i can"...why not just put one foot in front of the other and just do it?

If i can, i think anyone can.

yeahgr8

No its never too late...i used to hate it when people would say that to me, i was convinced that it was...i remember hitting 30 and being so depressed on my birthday night out as i was sure that my life was over and whats the point now i am officially old...its crazy thinking!

Clearly you do need to reach out and get some help mate, you've been around a while now on SR like me...i could stop using my drug of choice for months at a time but the problem was i was left with the same thinking and perception of life as when i was using/drinking and i didn't have my emotional crutch anymore so i would make concessions on living, i wouldn't go to certain places, do certain things etc...it was like living in a prison of my own making...reach out and get some help in some way...

Freedom1990

It is too late if you still drink, mix pain pills, overdose, and your family is burying you.

Please Paulos, find a program of recovery and give it a chance. I care.

GypWin

Paulos It is never too late, your body is telling you to stop, give it a chance to recuperate and it will...

CarolD

I still have limitations even tho I quit drinkingt years ago.
so that is normal for me Paul.

All my best ........

tsmba

It is never too late.....until you are on the wrong side of the grass!

DayTrader

Of course it's possible. I'm a believer in that invisible line of "choice" though. Some of us cross that line where our ability to clean ourselves up just isn't there.....or isn't sufficiently strong enough to BE enough. Some of us cross that line in our alcoholism where we're no longer able to be able to construct a team to help us get past it. Some folks DO go to the point where human-power is no longer sufficient.

For those folks, the one's who've crossed that line but don't realize it yet, sobriety can seem like it's impossible. Every single thing they try results in one thing......consistently.... : they get drunk - AGAIN!! For these folks, there's still hope, but it......obviously......can't be human-power based.

So...is there hope for you Paulos? Of course. It's really just a matter of finding out whether you still have the ability to do it yourself or whether you need a Higher Power.

Onewithwings

So very true! My sponsor used for 24 years, 9 years of shooting up daily-- if she can come back from that, I believe anyone alive has a chance at recovery.

Sober up and enjoy the rest of your life, whether that's 80 days or 80 years!

I myself used for 12 years, although only toward the end of my using had I started using daily-- I am quite healthy, aside from some minimal kidney damage. You'd be surprised what the human body can take.

What it CAN'T take, however, is any more of what you are doing to it! If I were you, I would find a medical detox. After that, I would find a program of recovery, and take suggestions like my life depended on it-- because it does.

least

As long as you're still standing, still breathing, it's not too late.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ys-option.html

Paulos

Wow, thanks to many of you for the responses... aye I understand a bit of all you said, I'm just proud to be about sober *slow process I know* I must get sober not just for me but for my family and my lot in this earth. Though I do question ... has anyone ever gotten floaters or seeing a few stars when mixing say... a narcotic, then chugging down caffeine like coffee, green tea? That seems to be when it happens as well. Thanks for the support again.

TheEnd

If you think it's too late, then it's too late. If you think it's not too late, then it's not too late............Don't give up before you begin to fight the battle.

Oh yeah if you're seeing things when you take narcotics and then chugg some coffee, stop taking them....

GreenAces

IMO it is never too early or too late... It's either now or never.. If you make a decision to quit now than you will have a chance to live a sober life and enjoy the things that you could have never imagined... If you don't stop now, than you may very well never get a chance... This is a very deadly disease in soooo many different ways... Do yourself a favor and make the decision.. It's on you though, but I would suggest giving yourself a holiday gift of recovery and sobriety... I promise it would be worth it.

Kmber2010

Paulos you have much support and really good info here. We can't diagnose you my friend and that is why you need to reach out to your doctor.

I drank 10 years and on my last bender I mixed pain meds as well and the results were horrific. I woke up the next day and immediately dumped out the alcohol and all pills in the house and came here. I then went to see the Dr. and began my recovery.

You need to stop and get support. I urge you to go to the Dr. for a work up.

You can do this and regardless of your health situation....you can stop further damage and begin to let your body heal.

TheMaster

Nothing to it but to do it...

Sudz No More

I dunno, why all the drug mixing? Simple enough advice I know but just stop dumping stimulants and or depressants in your body and maybe these stars won't happen anymore. It's sort of like saying, I worked the gas pump all the day and now I feel brain dead. I guess it would stand to figure if you sucked in all those fumes all day long you may have some problems.