pinkfirefly

i'm so ashamed of myself. I have a 16 month old daughter and a 3 week old baby. and today, i've had a few drinks in the middle of the day. Its only 2 o clock in the after noon, and i had a few drinks, and am tipsy. and i'm watching my daughter and son, while my husband is at work. i'm not totally drunk, so i'm still able to watch the kids, and not hurt anything. but what kind of mom does this, drinks in the afternoon while watching her children. i have some problems don't I. i need help. I disgust myself. what's wrong with me.

suki44883

What is stopping you from getting the help you admit that you need?

bellakeller

Sweetie, you are not supposed to be "watching" your children, you are there to mother them. And you can't be all there to mother them when you are drunk, drinking, hungover or thinking about drinking.

This I know because I've been there and my children suffered until I was able to get help. Life is hard enough for kids without this kind of chaos.

Please get help. Go get help.

least

You know what you need to do, now just do it. Your kids need you fully functioning and if you're drinking you're not fully functioning. Get help now. Before something bad happens.

Fandy

Pink you reach out here periodically and ask for help...but you need to do this IRL...you need to speak with someone medically trained to give you feedback and help you stop this cycle.

you might start by having all the alcohol removed from your house....and keep the kids in a safe environment.

How will you feel if you cannot react properly to an emergent situation?

ZZworldontheweb

Sister,

I've gone back and read through your posts. You seem to be seeking some non-judgmental encouragement, which is fine and natural, but you have to understand that repeatedly giving you platitudes like "You can do it" and "Atta girl" will simply not help you. People here DO sincerely care about whether you get sober or not, because every victory and every loss affects the entire community.

You seem to be unwilling to speak to your physician about this or to regularly go out and attend AA meetings. Can you give us some idea why? Do you feel ashamed? Shy? Embarrassed? Help us out.

BullDog777

you ought to check yourself into the hospital into the mental health unit and detox for awhile. that's the best thing you could do for your kids.

i'm sorry if i'm not giving you the "you can do it" speech in light of the damage you're still inflicting on your children. you asked how to help yourself... that's how.

Dime

From what you describe you sound like an alcoholic. Guilt, shame, fear or willpower will not keep us sober.

Have you had enough and do you truly have a desire to stop drinking? If so recovery programs do work providing you take the action and do your part. Your not alone, most of us did horrendous things we did when we were drinking. I certainly did my share but I found that when I asked for help, got in a recovery program and did the work I stayed sober. You can do it too!

Opivotal

Gee Pink, it seems your doing exactly as you predicted. I'm sorry for you and your children. Not seeking help is dangerous with 2 little ones to watch after. You have to want to quit more than you want to drink. Bottom line. Nothing will change until you change it. It's all up to you!

Best Wishes to you and your children

Dee74

I really hope you find help PFF.
It won't come to you.

You deserve help and you deserve a better life - but more than that, so do your kids.

D

TheEnd

When I first read this post, I just wanted to grab you and shake you, then I decided to take a nap hoping that I would wake up with something more profound to say. After taking a nap, I still want to grab you and shake you, because you seem, no you are caught in a vicious cycle of alcoholism and the only person that can stop the insanity is you.

I have been following your posts for a while, you seem to be almost asking the same type of question, but you re-word it a little bit, I don't know why, maybe hoping for a different result. I'm thinking maybe, just maybe you want someone to write on here that it's okay to do what you do. Sometimes I wish that this was someone playing a practical joke, but what is to be gained??

You ask what is wrong with you, nothing is wrong with you other than that you know you need to stop drinking. You know this, you knew this before when you were pregnant, you knew this when you had your kid and you toyed with the idea of moderation, and now you still know it today.

You can re-word your posts a million different ways, the same answer will still come across that you need to stop drinking. You wanted to drink in moderation, well I don't think moderate drinkers sit around drinking alone, while they are "watching" their kids. You know this, we all know this, and only you can rectify this situation.

If you can't stop on your own, then reach out for help, ask your husband, your doctor, someone.

Anna

You've had a few drinks and you're tipsy - so what would you do if your 16 month old fell and bumped her head, or if your 3 week old baby developed a fever? How would you cope?

You have a habit of popping in here and posting when you feel particularly bad, but never return to respond to the generous advice offered here.

Prayers for your two childlren.

GypWin

Hi Pink, Im 38yrs old and although I rarely think of it, I remember my mom tipsy during the day. It leaves an impression, even when you dont understand it at the time..everyting leaves a mark. Im in the beginning of trying to break away myself, just know that this site is here for you, you arent alone and only you can make the right choices. Be well

GettingStronger2

been there, done that.

You may not be drunk, but consider this: what if something happens to them?

You have to stop, but you know it.

The question is, are you ready?

beaglenut

Mine now live with my ex-husband because I couldn't keep it together. Please reach out for help now.

Could you call your DH and ask him to watch the children? Even if you don't want him to know you're drinking, it is better that your babies be with a sober parent.

pinkfirefly

thanks every one. i'm sorry for posting the same types of questions. i can see its annoying people on this forum. i guess i just feel really bad and guilty, so i reach out here to try and feel a little better, with getting some advice. i am trying to get help. i am in counseling, and have talked to my doctor about this. i'm working on it. but it doesn't just get better or go away immediately. getting rid of this alcohol is gonna take time. its very hard. and i feel so weak most of the time, cuz i keep giving in to my cravings. i'm working on it. and im not gonna drink in front of my kids alone anymore. its irresponsible i know. i'm ashamed of myself. thanks every one for the advice and support.

flutter

your children are in danger. I hope they are helped soon.

TheEnd

I can tell that post came from the heart and I believe you are getting the message. And like you said it doesn't get better or go away immediately, it is a process, a journey, and I believe you will find your way.

ZZworldontheweb

Actually giving up booze takes ZERO time. You put down the glass, throw it out and that's it. In 99% of cases, that's the only way to do it. You don't try to taper off, you don't try to build up your courage to some theoretical point where it will be easier, because it will NEVER be easier than right this second. It will only be harder and harder as time goes on.

What DOES take time is learning to live a normal, happy life AFTER quitting. But people do it all the time.

Please please PLEEEZE stop now. Right now. It would mean SO much if you did....

And you're not really all that annoying, we just think being blunt is best sometimes. Keep coming back.

sailorjohn

That wasn't a trick question I assume.

An alcoholic Mom does that.

What you do with that opinion is strictly your choice.