Zebra1275

Lots of good advice here. Here is something else to consider. If you are drinking 6 - 12 beers a night, that is heavy drinking no matter what you label it. At 32 it sounds like you are kinda able to pull it off physically. If you continue, at 42 it will be damn tough to recover physically every morning. At 52 it will be impossible. Alcoholism is progressive. Six beers now could easily progress to 6 beers and a couple shots of vodka in a year to get the desired effect.

Ask yourself, how long do you want to live, because this level of drinking can't go on forever. You will wear your body out.

AcceptingChange

Welcome! And thanks for posting. You've come to the right place if you are concerned about your drinking. It's a very difficult problem, because it's not a problem when we started, and it's not a problem for everyone. But it's a problem for billions of others. If you think it affects you as well, this is a great place to learn. Please keep posting.

DayTrader

Walking, my experience is a little different than Isiah's... I don't personally know one recovered alkie who, at some point, didn't have to know/understand/believe in their heart that they're an alcoholic.

If I don't believe I have a problem, I'm certainly never going to do anything to fix it......regardless of what path I choose to get it fixed. All of us.......everyone I've ever met or spoke to anyway, had the toughest time realizing that we actually had a problem with alcoholISM in the first place (and alcoholism is NOT "a problem with alcohol"). I've never heard of an alkie showing up saying they over-drank 1 time, experienced a physical craving 1 time, felt the mental compulsion to drink 1 time, drank more than they intended 1 time, or drank when they really didn't want to - 1 time, etc........so I just knew I was an alcoholic and suffering from alcoholism so here I am to get free from the disease.

Nope, most of us had to get constant and ever-more painful reminders that alcohol and/or alcoholism "might" be a problem before we considered it.

Of COURSE you didn't tell your therapist about it......why would you if you don't think it's part of the problem. Prior to having a thought for the first time, we (by default) haven't considered it before. Now you've put the issues out on the table and that's a good move.

You don't have to decide this second if you're an alcoholic - heck, most ppl don't really know what a real alcoholic IS.....let-alone if they ARE one or not. Maybe you are, maybe you aren't.......maybe you'll be able to control it yourself, maybe you won't.....maybe you'll be able to moderate, maybe you won't.

Now is the time to do some honest contemplation into your past.....look at how you drank: could you control it? did you drink more than you intended? Have you always been able to take it or leave it? Were you always able to control it?

Get honest with yourself and answer those questions for yourself......don't let fear of what direction your answers point you in cloud your honesty. Just be honest..... and if you've got a problem, and you're sure about it, then you'll be able to find some help, direction and support on how to live (very happily I'd add) in spite of what may appear to be a "problem."

reggiewayne

WWG welcome. Please read through some post here if you have not already. Heck, read through my posts and you"ll find I've been exactly where you are. There is a way out that can be so freeing. I have two weeks today of sobriety and man what a difference. There is so much to learn / say that I can't even put a dent in it in one post. All I would suggest is to read different posts and see if you find yourself in any of them. I know I saw myself in them.

I have made a decision to participate in the AA fellowship and its changed me. For the better! I wish you the best of luck man!

I can't. He can. I'll let him.

Crow3000

I had social anxiety and depression issues and they were almost entirely related to my alcohol consumption. This might not be the case with you but hell, give quitting a shot, the worst that can happen is your therapist's income shrinks a little.

P.s. I think it took me about four or five months before the anxiety and depression really started lifting after I quit drinking.

walkingwithgod

It was good to wake up today sober. Looking back over the last few months I was spending 150.00 a week on alcohol. That was one thing that when looking at it was shocking. I look back at the money spent, dumb things done, and I feel guilty that I let this happen to me. I hate that I let this happen to me. Gob Bless you for the thoughts and advice.

pascal

I like the name, walkingwithgod. God is opening your eyes to your situation, and He will be with you as you address it. That is enough power to get you through today. He wants to give you the freedom to do what is right.

"There are some desires that are not desirable." Chesterton

tooling

To be honest I wouldn't doubt it if they stopped coming over. And if you are serious about quitting this might be a good thing.

My ex-best friend who drinks often for football games and does get really drunk at times, we have stopped hanging out. I really got sick of the many times I tried to quit and he would always tell me i don't have to quit totally and all this. The next thing I know I'm drinking again. he didn't want me to quit because he enjoyed drinking with me.

I haven't talked to him for 2 years now. I didn't stop right after i started avoiding him, but when I did stop 4 months ago I had nobody near me to bug me. I was in peace and still am.

Me personally, I wanted nobody around me to ever say I needed to drink. No person will walk into MY HOUSE and tell me I need to drink. I ended that bit.

Now it's just me and my sobriety, and I am looking for clean friends that don't drink ever.

SSIL75

I don't think these two statements are mutually exclusive. I agree with you both. It was true for me that when I first started to quit (back in March, I think) it was a kind of an exploratory thing. I quit for 3 weeks (and it was only supposed to be 3 weeks) and felt great so decided that I'd only drink on weekends going forward. Well that didn't last long so soon I had a new plan (only drink when entertaining). That failed too. And so on and so on and eventually I had to realize that even if I managed to figure out how to moderate.. it wasn't pleasurable. It was just frustrating. So I quit, totally.

So yes I had to understand in my heart that I was an alcoholic. But not until after I'd gone through the period of discovery that preceded that. That's how I interpreted Isaiah's statement.

Welcome, WWG. May you enjoy not drinking enough to do it forever

walkingwithgod

I love the feeling of waking up sober and not hungover. I got so used to feeling this way it was normal. Yesterday was the first time in the last three months that I did not have a drink. My wife had a beer and I had an iced tea, and I did not feel weird. I am just so regretful of all the money I spent, and how I let a drink control my life. I just hate being regretful, and wish that I could get over how I let this happen. Thanks for all the support.

walkingwithgod

I am sorry to be adding alot to the post, but the more I think the more I realize. I always worried about regrets and what could have been, and instead of looking forward I drank and thought about the past.

least

Post as much as you like! We're here to support you any way we can. I think you'll find lots to like in sobriety. I sure have! And waking up feeling good instead of feeling horrible is just icing on the cake!

Not to mention having money for things like bills and such cause I'm not buying wine all the time!

Mark75

Heck, when I entered recovery I didn't believe, really believe that I was alcoholic... Going to treatment, starting AA... well, it was not my idea

My own experience with convincing myself?...

It is scary at first, this recovery thing... lots of things change... and as the OP mentioned himself, I wasn't sure that anything would be fun anymore... and what, really, was the point of living if I couldn't have any fun? .... Not that I was suicidal or anything, but I felt like my life was over.

So.... standing at the crossroads, jumping into recovery with both feet... and perhaps the second hardest thing for many of us who choose AA... making that decision to trust God... I needed to be sure, I had to have no doubt.... That was the first hardest thing .

Welcome walkingwithgod... SR is awesome and helped me greatly. If you are considering AA, a sponsor is an important resource and can help you with this question also.

Mark

walkingwithgod

Now is the point in the day that all I can think about is stopping at the liquor store on the way home. It would be nice to relax and have a couple beers, but I know that one or two would turn into 8-12. I hate this feeling, it makes me feel like more of a loser, as I used to love relaxing and drinking on the weekend. I will drive past 15 or so liquor stores on my drive home today.

PHRD

You'll feel like a winner after quitting for a few days. Show that "booze brain" who is boss and tell it to shut up! But definetely stop "feeling like a looser". You are taking the steps to be healthier and that is huge! Is there another way to drive home? Can you "take the long way home"?

walkingwithgod

I live in the Boston area, liqour stores are everywhere.

PHRD

Crank up the tunes and keep your eye on the road, don't be looking at the stores you are driving by. Tell yourself you are going to drive directly home and then deal with whatever feelings of wanting to drink when you are there. Then, you'll feel great having made it home and maybe have changed your mind about want to drink? I'm just trying to help. I'm in the struggle with ya, day 11 here and going to the favorite restaurant tonight where I've been a "mug member" for years, going to be really difficult to order a pepsi!

doggonecarl

Pass on those cravings, remain strong for today.

You initial post reminds me of myself. Thinking that the only thing that's wrong with my drinking was the volume, that I'm drinking too much. Thought cutting down was the answer, but drinking less didn't "do it" for me. And if I ever thought about quitting I relented the first time I craved a beer.

Then the eye opener...when I decided I really needed to quit, I couldn't. The cravings were too much. The facade that I put up about not being an alcoholic started to crumble. It didn't matter that I worked every day, that I had never had a DUI. What mattered was I couldn't quit! I was an alcoholic. At that point, after a truthful and unglaring look at my drinking behavior (the spending, the hiding, the ever-present beer) quitting became an imperative. Been sober since Sept 4th and I know that my drinking days are over because I don't think I'll ever want just ONE, I'll want 6 or 12. So if I can't have one, I'll have none.

Good luck

walkingwithgod

I am just not sure what to do with my time. I used to love to go home and drink a 12 pack and wait for bed. I realize that I was not acting drunk in front of my 17 month old, just being normal. My wife did not really notice because she thought I was having 2 beers after work before her and my daughter came home, but it was more like 8-12. Looking back at it I would sometimes hide a partial 30 pack in the basement so all the beers were not in the refrigerator and she would notice that they were gone in two days. I guess if I have to sneak around from my wife then I am worse off. I just can’t think of what I will do with my time. I really loved to drink at home a relax.

PHRD

I've been reading books and listening to music cranked on a earphones. I forgot how much I liked listening to music. I'm sure your wife would appreciate you more if you weren't busy drinking/worrying about drinking/hiding beers and instead had more time to give to her. Help out with the baby, watching a movie together, etc... Maybe you could stop at the library or bookstore on the way home? Go to the gym and workout?