skolc

I dunno, i feel silly asking this but i have been without a drink for 6 months, my longest time ever. Without getting into detail i am dealing with a lot of other emotional stuff i am now sure but lately i have been obsessing over a drink, mostly beer and the bar and the warm lights and such now that is getting colder. Basically i wanted to feel that familiar feeling and not the discomfort that i currently am in. I went to the store and bought some Odouls to get close to that feeling and now I am all conflicted..I cannot believe i want to drink like this; feeling pretty crappy.

sleepie

Sorry you're feeling this way. Maybe it's best to steer clear of anything resembling alcohol at this time, if you are feeling emotionally upset? Is there anyone you can talk to?

joethemechanic

Don't do it again, tomorrow is another day, at 6 months your goal should be to make it to your pillow sober. You are doing fine. Perfectly normal to crave a drink, you are an alcoholic. That is what we do.

Dee74

Frankly I think this is more of a problem than the fact you drank some NA beer.

Do you have any face to face support? Now would be a great time to use some, or find some, skolc.

D

Toronto68

Skol, this doesn't sound like a good idea. You are basically defining for yourself the reason you got the O'Douls, so that you could be one step closer to the real thing, and that is what I think most people are entertaining when they ask about this stuff before trying it. (I don't take scientific or unscientific polls, but I think most alcoholic people should not be drinking this if they want to stay sober and it's few people who can handle it - strictly because they are different.)

I can't force you to do anything, but I think you should rinse your mouth out with water, get rid of the rest, and not get anymore, and focus on what is bothering you even at 6 months (which is not exactly an eternity). Include positive people into your journey and people who speak the same lingo as you do (very knowledgeable about the probable reasons for doing things). If you don't use a face-to-face source of support, then the my next best suggestion is to immerse yourself into this site a lot more. You know the reasons you needed to stop drinking (we aren't in your body and brain); you just need to make a friend out of yourself and not opt for choices like O'Douls and looking for the feeling you remember about being drunk.

joethemechanic

Sure there is a problem, and Skolc needs to do something about it,,,,,,But at 6 months sober there are going to be problems. Those people who talk like life is a bed of roses from the very beginning of their sobriety are lying to themselves.

Change is uncomfortable, and at times downright painful. If you don't feel the pain you probably are not making any changes.

LaFemme

Hi and. Congrats on 6 months...here's the way I see it...the memories of relaxing on the warm comraderie of the local pub as you nurse your beer is false. It will not remove the emotional trouble you are in...It will not make your life better...instead you will wale up the next morning and think "God. What have I done?" And all your problems will still be there bit worse than before because now you will haveba hangover.

The problem is not the odouls but all the thoughts swirling with it. Get some f2f support or spend more time here...

Hugs!

johndelko408

In my experience I've noticed that the people who act like life is grand in recovery are in fact not in recovery. When I got serious about my program I always wondered why some people who came in around the time I did were so damn happy. Maybe they didn't have all the drama in their lives like I did and do. It bothered me that I was so miserable and they were so happy. As it turns out they were still drinking, I'm still in the rooms, but they aren't. Life isn't all cherries, life still shows up. Don't get me wrong its better than it was when I was drinking cause now I have my sobriety, some real friends, a relationship with God and with myself.

@skolc
I tried the na beer when I was drinking as a form of moderation so to speak. Drink a regular beer then a na beer and so on. To me it just didn't cut it, it didn't satisfy my cravings and it didn't give me thw feeling I was looking for. I agrew with the rest of the foljs and wouldn't even consider anything close to alcohol. I was a big beer drinker and my #1 excuse to why I drank so much of it was "because I liked the taste". I did like the taste but that's not why I drank so much of it, i drank so much of it because I wanted to get drunk. I like the taste of lemonade but i don't go out and drink 2 gallons of that in a night.

April999

Hi,
Im almost at 6 months, and I can relate to what you're saying about cold weather, warmth, season etc... I think it might have to do with the fact that more people drink around Christmas time in general. I try to use coffee as a substitute, but I know a coffee shop is different than a bar. I think this is a time of year that we have to pay extra attention to our disease, and make sure we don't cave. This will be my first Christmas without booze, also if anyone buys you booze as a X-mas gift, give it away asap. (a re-gift you won't have to feel guilty about). Best wishes.

yeahgr8

You better run down and get some face to face support asap:-)

Like joethemechanic said it is completely normal to be feeling like this at 6 months if you have no face to face support and have changed nothing inside...its going toreallysuck but like i said you can reach out for help before you drink again if you want to....

Dime

Congrats on your six months! I'm not sure if you are still attending AA but if you are and have a sponsor I would start here. I used my sponsor and trusted close friends to talk through the things that were driving me crazy in early sobriety. Usually just talking through my problems helped greatly. This is not a time to isolate. Just remember that as long as we stay sober things will get better. Just take it one day at a time.

I would nix the Odoules, it can lead you back to the real sauce.

joethemechanic

Yeah I hate it when those BS people go on and on about how wonderful things are, and nobody calls them on their BS. It makes all the people who are trying to make real changes feel like they are doing something wrong.

Lots of times I call them on their BS, but that doesn't make me the most popular guy.

FBL

Wow, that's painting with a pretty broad brush! I can only speak for myself, but ever since I stopped drinking I've been the happiest I've ever been in my adult life. Drinking made me bitter, sarcastic, angry and paranoid. Ever since I've quit I've been happy, optimistic and all those problems that seemed like mountains are now more easily dealt with molehills. I'm grateful for my new sober life and that's no BS!

As for the N/A beer...I drank to get drunk, so I really don't see the point.

SSIL75

agree. I am only 3 mos sober and of course I have had some rough days. But I read on here all the time "your worst day sober is better than your best day drunk". I live guilt free, hangover free. I can focus on my children. I feel no shame. I'm very happy and calm. For the first time ever really (feeling calm).

Not understanding the hate here.

joethemechanic

So your life has been a bed of roses since day one? And you have never had a really sucky day in sobriety? Did you write a 25 page 4th step at 30 days complete with a picture you drew on the cover? Oh and did you write a couple of poems about how wonderful "The Program" is, and hand out copies to everyone at the meeting?

reggiewayne

I've learned that my sobriety is 100% dependent on my spiritual condition. In other words, if you are feeling dis-content, irritable, self-pity and you don't get yourself centered you'll look for ways to cope. If you are anything like me the coping agent is almost always booze. I would look at this is a sign that you are having some issues and you feel uneasy. Try and focus on that and the desire for booze will go.

I hope that helps. Best of luck and stay strong.

SSIL75

You really have to do that in AA?

I am not in AA. And of course I've had sucky days. But every day sucked when I was an active alcoholic.

least

No, my life hasn't been that wonderful but I now choose to be happy over choosing to be miserable, as I used to do.

You seem to be very bitter, Joethemechanic. I used to be bitter myself, but now it's my choice to be happy... and that's no BS. I hope you can trade your 'crown of thorns' for a 'bed of roses' - it is possible. And every rose has thorns, so a 'bed of roses' isn't a perfect place to be, unless you take the thorns off the roses first...

joethemechanic

hmmmmm, well some people do go through a "pink cloud" period early in recovery. And of course there are the "high bottoms" who really don't have to deal with much wreckage.

But most of the ones who are "so damn happy" from day one are putting on a show

Paraffinalien

I heard about a couple of guys who actually did something similar to this. I think their names were Bill Wilson and Bob Smith.

The gall of those guys, huh?