6 months sober. Drank some NA beer..Now what?
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Living sober has its ups and downs of course. Living drunk has its own as well. Its not hard to do the math though on where happiness can be found in what life one lives. Happiness is what it is and joy is useless if there is no sorrow to measure the joy. In a perfect world we would not have (any need to have) sorrow with the joy. Methinks this world is not perfect, drunk or sober, happy or sad. We all know it.
After my horrible detox my happiness steadily increased and continues to this very day. Alot of $hit has also happened since my detox and that makes life real and only allows me to appreiciate my happiness all the more.
Life is sweet and sobriety rocks the moment we become aware of being happily sober even in the smallest sense. Humility and gratitude work wonders. Its all good after that has been my experience depending on my viewpoint. For me the glass is always half-full and never half-empty.
Best Wishes!
Rob
After my horrible detox my happiness steadily increased and continues to this very day. Alot of $hit has also happened since my detox and that makes life real and only allows me to appreiciate my happiness all the more.
Life is sweet and sobriety rocks the moment we become aware of being happily sober even in the smallest sense. Humility and gratitude work wonders. Its all good after that has been my experience depending on my viewpoint. For me the glass is always half-full and never half-empty.
Best Wishes!
Rob
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 1,591
Well, Joe, sure some people kid themselves and then things change dramatically for them.
I'm not big on faking it till you make it, although I think it can help some people to get in the right frame of mind.
I am not a fan of distinguishing between high bottom states and "real" bottom states either. Everybody has their own reality to live with and hopefully they get it.
And we shouldn't try to add to other people's bowl of Cheerios either. Each person should be responsible for their own path. I don't know how most people quit and stay away from their addiction, but it seems like understanding I have to be responsible for it is what made something click properly in my own brain. I'm not going to do myself a favour if I question what is in somebody else's brain all the time, so I hope you are not doing too much of your own naysaying and stick with what works for you. Each person needs to do that.
I'm not big on faking it till you make it, although I think it can help some people to get in the right frame of mind.
I am not a fan of distinguishing between high bottom states and "real" bottom states either. Everybody has their own reality to live with and hopefully they get it.
And we shouldn't try to add to other people's bowl of Cheerios either. Each person should be responsible for their own path. I don't know how most people quit and stay away from their addiction, but it seems like understanding I have to be responsible for it is what made something click properly in my own brain. I'm not going to do myself a favour if I question what is in somebody else's brain all the time, so I hope you are not doing too much of your own naysaying and stick with what works for you. Each person needs to do that.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Bensalem Pa
Posts: 37
Originally Posted by Paraffinalien 
I heard about a couple of guys who actually did something similar to this. I think their names were Bill Wilson and Bob Smith.
The gall of those guys, huh?
The gall of those guys, huh?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Hull, England.
Posts: 169
What i believe is that if i look for negatives in situations and people then i will find them.
I believe that if i am finding fault with people because they are just to damn happy then I am focusing on the wrong person.
If people want to be happy after living in full blown active alcoholism for the previous twenty years then good luck to them.
I believe that if i have nothing better to do then pick faults with sick people then i better find something better before i drink to change the way i feel.
I believe that if i am finding fault with people because they are just to damn happy then I am focusing on the wrong person.
If people want to be happy after living in full blown active alcoholism for the previous twenty years then good luck to them.
I believe that if i have nothing better to do then pick faults with sick people then i better find something better before i drink to change the way i feel.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Bensalem Pa
Posts: 37
In 2001 when I quit drinking, I used to go to meetings and people would speak at meetings and say how wonderful every day is, and how their lives are so back on track.
And there I was trying to figure out what I was doing wrong. I thought since everything in my life isn't wounderful wounderful that I must not be doing the program right.
What I didn't know back then was, they had fixed up their outsides and were putting on a good show. And they were hanging in the popular clique, but not the sober clique.
Almost without exception over the years they have relapsed.
Now for me they are pretty easy to spot. For example, They wrote a really cool 4th step, And they bought a new Harley, But they really haven't really done anything serious on their 9th step.
And there I was trying to figure out what I was doing wrong. I thought since everything in my life isn't wounderful wounderful that I must not be doing the program right.
What I didn't know back then was, they had fixed up their outsides and were putting on a good show. And they were hanging in the popular clique, but not the sober clique.
Almost without exception over the years they have relapsed.
Now for me they are pretty easy to spot. For example, They wrote a really cool 4th step, And they bought a new Harley, But they really haven't really done anything serious on their 9th step.
High on Life
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Been to Hell and Back
Posts: 1,157
Originally Posted by joethemechanic
In 2001 when I quit drinking, I used to go to meetings and people would speak at meetings and say how wonderful every day is, and how their lives are so back on track.
And there I was trying to figure out what I was doing wrong. I thought since everything in my life isn't wounderful wounderful that I must not be doing the program right.
What I didn't know back then was, they had fixed up their outsides and were putting on a good show. And they were hanging in the popular clique, but not the sober clique.
Almost without exception over the years they have relapsed.
Now for me they are pretty easy to spot. For example, They wrote a really cool 4th step, And they bought a new Harley, But they really haven't really done anything serious on their 9th step.
And there I was trying to figure out what I was doing wrong. I thought since everything in my life isn't wounderful wounderful that I must not be doing the program right.
What I didn't know back then was, they had fixed up their outsides and were putting on a good show. And they were hanging in the popular clique, but not the sober clique.
Almost without exception over the years they have relapsed.
Now for me they are pretty easy to spot. For example, They wrote a really cool 4th step, And they bought a new Harley, But they really haven't really done anything serious on their 9th step.
non-drinker
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 13,841
Originally Posted by joethemechanic
So your life has been a bed of roses since day one? And you have never had a really sucky day in sobriety? Did you write a 25 page 4th step at 30 days complete with a picture you drew on the cover? Oh and did you write a couple of poems about how wonderful "The Program" is, and hand out copies to everyone at the meeting?
Yeah, I've never had a "really sucky" day in sobriety...but I had A LOT of them when I was drinking. Guess it all depends on your perspective.
I wish you the best of luck.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
regarding N/A beer....I think it's a toss up...if you just like the taste, it can be a substitute...if you crave the buzz, it would lead ME back to the real stuff....same with non-alcoholic wine....which was my DOC....I craved the buzz.
now my sense of taste is greatly improved and there are a variety of beverages to enjoy....i can relate to the atmosphere you think you want, but you can change your perspective.
I do not use AA or and type of formal program. I am VERY grateful for my sobriety and the improvement in my depression, restful sleep, mental outlook, energy level and finances...all leading to more happiness....(it's the little things)....i use my gratitude to remember how important it is for me not to drink....I don't call it a *pink cloud* or anything else.
I find the gratitude portion of this forum is one of the things I look forward to everyday...and the support of everyone is invaluable to me.
now my sense of taste is greatly improved and there are a variety of beverages to enjoy....i can relate to the atmosphere you think you want, but you can change your perspective.
I do not use AA or and type of formal program. I am VERY grateful for my sobriety and the improvement in my depression, restful sleep, mental outlook, energy level and finances...all leading to more happiness....(it's the little things)....i use my gratitude to remember how important it is for me not to drink....I don't call it a *pink cloud* or anything else.
I find the gratitude portion of this forum is one of the things I look forward to everyday...and the support of everyone is invaluable to me.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Oregon
Posts: 50
"I like the taste of lemonade, but I don't drink two gallons a night". LOL. I do miss the taste of beer (and wine too), and I miss the "food pairings". But I cannot be absolutely sure that's all it is. My disease is scary smart. I cannot guarantee that drinking nonalcoholic beer or wine won't eventually lead to a relapse either. It just can't be worth the risk. There are plenty of other things I can enjoy that won't kill me (like microbrewed rootbeer--YUM!)
PS--I didn't start out deliriously happy in sobriety. It came and went, and I shared the ups and downs with others as I felt appropriate.)
One of the most useful things I'm learning in recovery is not to compare myself (and my recovery experiences) to others. Also, not to take other people's inventories, and to drop resentments like they were poison. Those things have brought me dangerously close to drinking. And I'm a LOT happier now that I don't drink.
PS--I didn't start out deliriously happy in sobriety. It came and went, and I shared the ups and downs with others as I felt appropriate.)
One of the most useful things I'm learning in recovery is not to compare myself (and my recovery experiences) to others. Also, not to take other people's inventories, and to drop resentments like they were poison. Those things have brought me dangerously close to drinking. And I'm a LOT happier now that I don't drink.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1
Originally Posted by skolc
I dunno, i feel silly asking this but i have been without a drink for 6 months, my longest time ever. Without getting into detail i am dealing with a lot of other emotional stuff i am now sure but lately i have been obsessing over a drink, mostly beer and the bar and the warm lights and such now that is getting colder. Basically i wanted to feel that familiar feeling and not the discomfort that i currently am in. I went to the store and bought some Odouls to get close to that feeling and now I am all conflicted..I cannot believe i want to drink like this; feeling pretty crappy.
I also remember that feeling you were having when you decided to go get an O'douls. That's the little addict devil on your shoulder whispering in your ear "You can go have a non-alcoholic beer, you can't even get messed up on that!". I'm a little nuts about how I think about that guy, but I have pretty much decided my addict is a concious being outside of the rest of my personality, and he tries to bargain just like that. He's finally given up trying to convince you that there isn't a problem, now he's trying other methods to get you into that bar or liquor store. He tries to surround you with the familiar because it works. They call it a slippery slope for a reason, you won't fall down the slope if you don't go to the edge. You go to that edge or even close, especially on purpose, and there's a very good chance you will keep on sliding. I don't know what's "crazier", believing the addict is a real, outside entity, or bargaining with yourself.
That and there is Alcohol in there, .5%. It'd be like having just 1/6 of a miller lite, which you could never convince yourself was okay, why is the O'Douls different? (I say that from experience, trust me, I had an O'douls phase, lasted 2 days... the following binge was a whole lot longer...)
It's about SO much more than the O'Douls, it's that intense, overwhelming compulsion that kicks your ass if you don't find some way to get past it.
In any case, I hope you find your way back. Get to some meetings or otherwise surround yourself with people who know what this is like, it's tough out there alone.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Virginia
Posts: 818
I've had an O'Douls on occasion but wouldn't dream of drinking a Miller Lite. But that's me. I wasn't in a situation where I was obsessing over a beer and all the warm fuzzies that went with one. I think the point is well taken that what you're experiencing here is indeed the disease sitting on your shoulder reminding you of all the wonderful things associated with drinking, but not misery you also experienced from alcohol. You're far from the point where you might be safe having an NA beer, so I'd suggest that you pour the O'Douls out and get to a meeting.
And don't beat yourself up here. The fact that you feel conflicted and crappy is actually a good thing - you recognized that something's wrong with this situation and sought some advice. That's far better than chugging a few NA's and running out for a 6 pack of Sam Adams.
And don't beat yourself up here. The fact that you feel conflicted and crappy is actually a good thing - you recognized that something's wrong with this situation and sought some advice. That's far better than chugging a few NA's and running out for a 6 pack of Sam Adams.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 191
As others have pointed out, it seems like the more concerning thing is that you're craving alcohol and wanting it to deal with emotional issues. I think it's good you bought NA beer instead of real beer, but yeah, it's not going to give you what you're looking for.
If you were drinking NA beer just because you missed the taste of beer, I think it'd be less concerning. And I don't think drinking the NA beer by itself is concerning. It's just that what you really want is alcohol, and that's something to face through whatever you're using in your recovery.
If you were drinking NA beer just because you missed the taste of beer, I think it'd be less concerning. And I don't think drinking the NA beer by itself is concerning. It's just that what you really want is alcohol, and that's something to face through whatever you're using in your recovery.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Traverse City, MI
Posts: 12
Sucky days in sobriety?
Well... At three years sober, the only grandparent I ever really knew died. At six years sober, my mother died. At twelve years, my father died. At sixteen years sober my oldest son died two weeks after my youngest was arrested for assault. Less than a year later one of my older brothers passed from a brain aneurysm.
Oh yeah, and at nineteen years I lost my job and bounced in and out of temp jobs (when I was lucky enough to land one) until I finally got a real one almost a year later.
What got me through each of those decidedly sucky times was knowing (without any doubt) that the only thing that could could have made them suckier would have been to drink. Some of the tools I learned in the rooms did help, but there was nothing there that would have enabled me to skip, happy, joyous and free all the way to my son's funeral. Accepting life on life's terms doesn't mean we always have to like it - it just means we have to face it, cope with it as best we can and not get too wrapped up in fighting against it - especially when it involves things we have no control over.
I believe the tools have helped me get through the suckiness a little faster and come out the other side with a little more confidence.
As for the N.A. beer - I do drink it on occasion as I like it with certain foods, but a six pack is liable to languish in the pantry for a month or more.
That said - The reasons given by the OP for drinking it tell me that it isn't a good idea for him at this time, perhaps never if he always has such thoughts when drinking it.
What now? Now you hitch up your pants, take a deep breath, put your head down and keep trudging the road of happy destiny. The ES&H you will hear in the rooms will help you learn ways of coping with suckiness, if you listen. Don't be afraid to ask questions before, after and even during meetings - some of the best meetings I've been to were the ones that started with someone saying, "You know, lately <fill in the blank> has been driving me bat-s**t crazy and I really don't know what to do about it.
Good luck and congratulations on making it this far. Many of us have been where you are and we know the way out. If we go first, will you follow us?
Well... At three years sober, the only grandparent I ever really knew died. At six years sober, my mother died. At twelve years, my father died. At sixteen years sober my oldest son died two weeks after my youngest was arrested for assault. Less than a year later one of my older brothers passed from a brain aneurysm.
Oh yeah, and at nineteen years I lost my job and bounced in and out of temp jobs (when I was lucky enough to land one) until I finally got a real one almost a year later.
What got me through each of those decidedly sucky times was knowing (without any doubt) that the only thing that could could have made them suckier would have been to drink. Some of the tools I learned in the rooms did help, but there was nothing there that would have enabled me to skip, happy, joyous and free all the way to my son's funeral. Accepting life on life's terms doesn't mean we always have to like it - it just means we have to face it, cope with it as best we can and not get too wrapped up in fighting against it - especially when it involves things we have no control over.
I believe the tools have helped me get through the suckiness a little faster and come out the other side with a little more confidence.
As for the N.A. beer - I do drink it on occasion as I like it with certain foods, but a six pack is liable to languish in the pantry for a month or more.
That said - The reasons given by the OP for drinking it tell me that it isn't a good idea for him at this time, perhaps never if he always has such thoughts when drinking it.
What now? Now you hitch up your pants, take a deep breath, put your head down and keep trudging the road of happy destiny. The ES&H you will hear in the rooms will help you learn ways of coping with suckiness, if you listen. Don't be afraid to ask questions before, after and even during meetings - some of the best meetings I've been to were the ones that started with someone saying, "You know, lately <fill in the blank> has been driving me bat-s**t crazy and I really don't know what to do about it.
Good luck and congratulations on making it this far. Many of us have been where you are and we know the way out. If we go first, will you follow us?
I got nothin'
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My house.
Posts: 4,890
Some people can drink NA and not have a problem...others can be triggered by NA.
I don't drink it because I don't see the point for myself...I drank to get drunk...and I'd rather have a soda or fruit juice.
Yes, I drink OJ.
I don't drink it because I don't see the point for myself...I drank to get drunk...and I'd rather have a soda or fruit juice.
Yes, I drink OJ.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Traverse City, MI
Posts: 12
Originally Posted by Bamboozle
Some people can drink NA and not have a problem...others can be triggered by NA.
I don't drink it because I don't see the point for myself...I drank to get drunk...and I'd rather have a soda or fruit juice.
Yes, I drink OJ.
I don't drink it because I don't see the point for myself...I drank to get drunk...and I'd rather have a soda or fruit juice.
Yes, I drink OJ.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Los Angeles CA
Posts: 1
I didn't get the chance to read all of the replies, but it boggles my mind that not one person spoke about the steps. The steps are design to set you free. As one of my favorite speakers puts it, "how free do you wanna be?" I ask myself that all the time. Try working the steps with your sponsor. That's where the program is. Going to meetings alone is not recovery, that is just one aspect. Work the steps, be of service, and see how you feel after.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Leeds
Posts: 20
I used to try and get the feeling from NA beer as well. I also missed the comfortable surroundings of the pub. It has led me to drink the real stuff again though. You've done really well so far - 6 months is awesome. Maybe best not to go there if you can avoid it.
I'm back on day 3 incidentally. I thought I had control (again), but I think I was deceiving myself. If I could achieve 6 months I would be very proud!
I'm back on day 3 incidentally. I thought I had control (again), but I think I was deceiving myself. If I could achieve 6 months I would be very proud!
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