reggiewayne

So.... I find myself where I have been countless times. I was very hungover on Friday. So much so I poured all of my booze down the drain. I said "that's it! I am done drinking". Went to bed and was very thankful to be alive and excited about quitting yet again. I woke up yesterday and felt out of it. Drank a ton of water, got some food, went to work, and had a mild craving last night, but shook it off. Woke up today and felt really good, went to the gym and then felt great!!! Now, I'm sitting here watching football and my mind is being flooded with feelings of "lets' have a few beers tonight".

I feel like my body is on a cycle of feeling like crap, then building up to feeling good, then bombarded with booze so I feel excellent, then back to the bottom. Hungover, tired, lethargic, etc.... Then build back up and repeat.

I've gone to meetings, I know what the big book says, I know what other books say, but my question is what have you people done in times like mine? When you feel so much better since you have not drank, so much so that your body is ready again. I know what will happen if I drink. Drink's 1 and 2 will be fantastic, drinks 3 - 8 will be OK, then from there I'll just be consumed with being hungover, that I've failed yet again, etc... I know nothing good will come of it and I'M NOT GOING TO DRINK. I just hate how programmed my body is to actually desire something that is so bad for it. It would be like craving someone to hit me in the face and take my wallet...

So, what do you people do when the idea of drinking sounds good? That's my questions. Hope everyone is well!

bellakeller

Thinking about drinking is just that; a thought. No need to act on every thought you have. If I'd acted on every idea that sounded good to me at the time, I probably wouldn't be here.

Early on in recovery, especially, I cannot fall for my own ******** that has lead me to a dead end every time I took myself up on the offer.

I've heard it said that the alcoholic mind is a dangerous neighborhood to walk into alone. Better to have someone there who can help you think through things. That's why my sponsor is great. She calls me on my bs. Maybe you telling on yourself here will help some. Sometimes these thoughts lose their power over us when we share them with another person.

I hate that you are where you are and hope you can get through without taking a drink. It's just not worth all the suffering and torture for a few minutes of "relief".

Cobalt

I was in your shoes for many months before I finally quit. You vow you'll never drink again because of how awful you feel, and then the next day when your hangover is gone the impulse immediately returns. As others have said, we somehow "forget" the problems that alcohol brings to our lives and the cycle continues. You have to reach a point where you KNOW that having those few beers will result in nothing but unhappiness, but it when you are drunk, while you are sobering up, or the day after. It will come sooner or later and you will regret drinking.

For me drinking will never be the same. One day it just clicked in my mind that I CANNOT keep having beers every night unless I want to die that way. There is no end to this disease if you continue to drink, only a future of further misery. Sorry to sound bleak, but this is the truth I know and so I am sharing it with you.

You can get over the cravings, you just need to acknowledge them for what they are: just cravings and nothing more. They will pass, and you won't drink, and you'll feel great. This is what you want isn't it?

suki44883

Well, it sounds like you have already played the tape through to the end. You know what will happen if you do drink. You say you are not going to drink, so that's good. You need to do something to get your mind off drinking. If sitting and watching football causes you to dwell on drinking, then do something else. Cravings don't usually last that long and it's important that, as soon as you find yourself thinking about drinking, that you get up and do something to get your mind off of it.

reggiewayne

Great advice guys... And by "a few beers" I mean drinking heavily until 1am... A few beers rolls of the tongue a little better than a six pack and a 1/2 a fifth of whiskey... I guess it's about growing up and realizing where I am and where I'm headed if I keep drinking. There is no doubt in my mind that if I continue to drink as heavy as I have been it will shorten my life. There is also no doubt that if I drink, I will drink heavily (not just a few beers). So, add it up and drinking isn't a choice.

Cobalt

Exactly. I thought I could cut back and control my drinking, but it never worked. There was a time a few months ago when I actually did cut back and I thought I was beating the illness. Boy was I wrong. I started to drink even MORE when I returned to my daily habit, and not long after I finally came to the realization that because 4 beers turned into 6 every night, there was no hope of it getting better only worse. Death would have been a reality for me if I had continued to drink a six pack a day. Maybe it wouldn't have happened right away, but I'm sure it would have killed me one day had I not stopped.

As you and I both know, it's never "a few beers". Keep your goal in mind at all times: no alcohol is the ONLY way to live. Good luck.

MsCooterBrown

It is a cycle that is hard to get past..if you can stick it out for at least a week or two it gets easier..I found after the 1st week it was all a mind game. I just changed my whole routine..one thing I did was hang here and it REALLY helped. I found I could identify with so many things the posters were saying. Matter of fact..been on most of the day today..Find some humor in it too..that helps. It is almost like you break into two personalities when you get sober. For that first week I had alot of arguments with myself...it was absurd. I had the stupid lush side..and the new sensible sober side and they had alot of banter! hang in there..It really does get so much better!!

Anna

What I did was to change almost everything in my life. You can't just remove the alcohol. I believe that alcoholism is a symptom and once we stop drinking, we need to deal with the issues in our lives that brought us to the point of becoming addicts. For me, I had to learn to say 'NO', I had to change jobs, I removed a couple of toxic people from my life, and I began to listen to my soul in the hope that I could get my life back on track.

Isaiah

Me, I just accept that I have a desire to drink. I've come to find that the more I try to make the desire to drink disappear the harder it comes back. I end up in these arguments with myself, basically feeling like I'm split in half with two sides fighting over to drink or not drink. Drives me insane.

Rather I've come to just look at those thoughts as just thoughts. I think when it comes to alcohol thoughts we forget just how often our brains come up with silly stuff we would never really act upon. Like have you ever been angry and thought "I'd like to punch that guy?" I know I get it time to time, but I have yet to ever punch anyone.

Dee74

I got to the point Reggie where I had to draw a line in the sand.
I knew damn well what was at the end of the tape - I'd played it a lot.

I knew that my rationalisations of 'you feel great after 3 days so how bad can you be really' were nonsense.

I knew for sure what I could expect if I went the old well-trodden way...so I tried something different.

I've never regretted that.

Good on you for trying something different too - find that support, get plugged in.
I don't think you'll regret it either

D

TheEnd

I try to remember all the bad things that went along with it and the idea doesn't sound so great anymore. If that doesn't work I try to do something to get my mind to stop thinking about it. If things get really tough then I call someone, I basically do whatever I can to not take that drink.

Also you might want to read about H.A.L.T. I noticed that many of the times that I feel like drinking, something else is going on with me and I try to fill that need instead.

tacks

I'm often right there with you, Reggie.

Read about people's horrible withdrawal symptoms that are posted up here.

Hang out with a group of people who are also trying not to drink.

tooling

I was at the point of feeling really crappy all the time. I was having a harder time getting over hangovers and my 'high' from drinking wasn't lasting too long anymore.

I had a pain in my left side and that got worse after i drank. After ignoring it for awhile I hung up my drinking glass.

Stang

Almost 6 months and I still have thoughts about once a week. Having one right now so I put some rice on the stove and I'm gonna eat beef stew in a minute. I know I only seem to crave alcohol when I'm hungry.

lilac0721

Reggie, I am totally with you! I completely understand. Sometimes I even make it a week or so before giving in to the urge to drink. And I can even moderate for a while, then I slide into the trap of having so much one night that I don't sleep and terribly hung over the next day so much so that work is difficult or impossible.

I just don't want to sacrifice losing a new job and going back to living hand to mouth (and begging my parents for help). I don't know if this will motivate me, but one thing I never did was to make a decision each day to remain sober. I can say never again today, but I have to reinforce that decision each day. Maybe...it seems to help others. Congratulate yourself for continually getting back up and back on track!

least

I drew a line... in the cement. This line won't erode away with the passage of time, it's there for good. And now that I'm approaching a year sober, the idea of drinking doesn't sound good anymore. It's a mental 'yuck'.

During early sobriety when I'd get thoughts of drinking I would remind myself of how sick I was in body and soul the last time I drank. That was all I needed to kill those thoughts. But now not-drinking is a habit, just as drinking used to be. And I rarely get cravings anymore.

MsCooterBrown

That is the whole key. You have to concentrate on all the negatives of alcohol abuse..there are no positives. Use your worst hangover and remember how much better you will feel when you wake up sober.

tacks

Thanks, stang. My cravings are always worse before dinner. Never dawned on me that a full meal might reduce the craving -- but it certainly does.

nacona

I learned in rehab that we have about 10 seconds before our brain engages and then we are in full obsession mode.

If a thought of drinking floats in my brain, I say a prayer really fast and then the thought is gone.

But if I entertain the thought....well, then I drink - every freaking time.

LaFemme

Gosh...that was me for about 5 years! When I first got sober and I got the urge to drink I used to relive in excrutiating detail my worst drinking moment...the way it tasted coming back up, the cold porcelain of the toilet, how I felt clammy and shaky. That worked for me pretty well.