ItsMe23

So i had my final court date for a DUI i received in September. My lawyer worked out an excellent plea where i would plead guilty to a violation and a DUI, and the other ten violations and 2 misdemeanors dropped, i was black out and did some really stupid stuff that horrible night.
Thankfully, I did not get jail time or even probation, but a conditional discharge and the minimum fine. Either way the majority of my bank account has been wiped out and i have to install an interlock device on my car. I can pay for it i have enough left, but i still need and inspection. I have no job, currently no licensee, I am on unemployment but it is not much. Christmas is coming up in a hurry.

The weight of looming court date is off my shoulders and that feels great, but i am still in pretty deep. i am trying to keep my head up and i know better days will come soon hopefully.

almost ten weeks sober

I feel like i am drowning and the surface is right there i just cannot mange to reach it.

Fandy

congrats on your 10 weeks sober, we are talking 70 days. i'm sure you feel better about giving yourself this great Xmas gift.

what is an interlock device?

i'm sure that the people who matter know your circumstances and don't expect to be showered with gifts...your improvment and sobriety celebrates the season!

ItsMe23

a device that one has to blow into before starting the car, i dont care about it being installed just the fact it is costing money is not fun

hope51

I'm sorry for all your troubles, but so glad you're staying sober! I hope to make it as far as you have. I know having no money sucks, but just try to tell yourself that you're going through a bad time right now and it's not going to last forever. Someday you'll look back and remember how hard it was, and be proud that you got through it. Like someone else mentioned, I'm sure those close to you understand about Christmas gifts, just be honest with them if they don't already know.
In the grand scheme of things this is a short period of your life.

Toronto68

I don't think I can say much to bring out the bright side, but you probably already know some of the points and just need to remind yourself of them:

-the DUI IS behind you
-you have an option to keep and use a car
-you have limitations placed on you to help you to maintain the goal of not drinking, since drinking has not been a great way to pass the time, and those will be behind you in due course as well
-you have the physical ability to work ahead of you
-you have a desire to go on, you have your mental faculties and can feel consequences, preferences, emotions, instead of being inert or drunk or in a hospital of some kind
-you have choices in front of you, some of the pleasant, some of them not

I think for you the crux of the matter in the near future is probably to figure out whether the car installation is worth it, ie, do you need to use a vehicle to work, can you work without the freedom to drive, etc etc. Can the installation of the device be deferred until a later date if you agree to go without it for a period of time, so that you can earn money first for X months and then go through with the requirements placed on you?

I think overall what you will want to do is continue to find the silver lining and to prioritize and organize. That's what you are trying to do already. Remember that this is a preferable choice to where you WERE and keep going onward and upward.

ItsMe23

yeah, i know it is a small portion of my life. Also they know about the Christmas situation.

Plenty of good stuff has happened to me in my sober time i will say that.

The current situation is just hard and depressing me

edit: i do not want the installation, it is court mandated that i have it installed within ten days. Had i known that in court i would have pushed to have it deferred for awhile

NYCDoglvr

To stop drinking I had to hit a very low bottom too -- but it was so awful that I've never taken my sobriety for granted and continue to do whatever it takes to stay sober. I'm sure this is an agonizing experience but it will pass. The big positive -- you're ten days sober! It may not feel that great, but I promise there will be a huge payback.

ItsMe23

^^^Almost ten weeks, not ten days lol

I'm a tough kid, i have been through alot in my life. But for whatever reason this current situation is taking a huge toll on me, I'm holding on for dear life

Fandy

Toronto made some really good points about the positives. I hope you find a job that works well for you....it's hard not to dwell on the circumstances, but like you said, the biggie weight has been lifted, now you can concentrate on your program and your health.

like you said, you are finding good things happening to you in sobriety...i hope you enjoy Christmas just for what it is too.

johndelko408

Even if you do get the interlock device how will you be able to drive without no L's. I have a condition to my probation that says I have to get an interlock device in order to get a restricted L's. I don't have a car anymore being that I had to give it back after i lost my job, no payments = no car. If I want to buy a car I need a L's. I called dmv to see what I can do and they basically told me that I have to wait until April, when I won't be required to have the damn device. I was sentenced to have one last April after getting caught driving a suspended, that was was a suspension resulting from a DUI. Second DUI and second driving on a suspended violation. Talk about a double edge sword. Glad to be sober, no more DUI's anymore, ever.

NYCDoglvr

Of course it's taking a huge toll, it would be traumatic for anyone going through it.

When I hit my bottom (I ended up in the emergency room strapped to a gurney after taking a bottle of pills in a blackout; to this day I have no idea why) it was anguishing because I could no longer hide from the consequences of being an active alcoholic. And it was horrible to see I could end up with alcohol. Certainly showed me I was powerless over alcohol! So the gig was up. I knew if I drank again I probably wouldn't be so lucky the second time, that next time I'd die. They call it the gift of desperation, lol. But it worked! In my 20th year, when I think of drinking my first thought is being strapped to a gurney.

ItsMe23

johndelko i believe i need the interlock as well to get my restricted license.m Once i have a restricted license everything can start falling into place.

johndelko408

If you got the cash and a whip, jump on it bro. I just finished school and got my DAS certification in electrical. But being that I don't have a whip and am strapped for cash I have to wait until April before I can use my $17,000 certification. I can't work for an electrical contractor if I cant drive a service truck. I just have to hurry up and wait...lol. In reading your post it sounds like you sort of made out like a bandit on your DUI. Was this your first?. I lawyered up on my second and thought I was going to get it dropped to a wet reckless. But being that my first one was only five years prior the judge threw the book at me. Only thing the lawyer was able to do was reduce my restitution and jail time got dropped to weekend work, plus my first conviction got dropped to a wet reckless. Didn't do me anygood cause it still made me a multiple offender. I ****** off the weekend work and ended up going to jail anyways. It was sort of funny what the judge said to me though. His exact words were, "young man I know these weren't coincidental events. I know you've been out there drinking and driving this whole time and these were the two times you happened to get caught. I look at you and all I see is a young man who shows a complete disregard for the law." I'll never forget those words because at the time it was true.

rws177

I think it's really awesome that you are going through all that stuff and remaining sober, just saying...

ItsMe23

Well I had a lawyer, I really don't think I made out like a bandit but things worked out alright everyone was proud of my lawyer lol.

And staying sober through it all, alcohol will only make it worse. I just keep adding days to my count and do not look back

NYCDoglvr

I'm glad you realize this! Because as bad as things have been over the past 19 years, I always stop to think about how much worse any situation would be if I drank. "AA ruins your drinking ...." I'm sure it does. The thing is when you get sober you start to realize increased self-esteem ... it's not like you think you're terrific but you do feel proud of days, weeks and months. So not only do I have the pain of -- fill in the blank -- but I also threw away all this time, will loose all the support. Or, to give yourself a jolt, say:

MY NAME IS ****** AND I HAVE ONE DAY BACK!!!

Yikes, I'm running to an AA meeting as I write this, lol

gr8ful42day

Itsme..you are doing fantastic staying sober in the midst of all that is going on. :ghug3 Stay strong! Remember, it only takes that first drink, then everything from there will go down hill, I can promise you that.

Do the next right thing and try to stay positive and focus on the good things in your life right now. Try to speak positives to yourself every time you think of a negative. Things could be so much worse for you my friend.

ItsMe23

i know, you keep your head about you too.

I am actually feeling pretty good right now, relaxed and what not

David 1

The surface is right there my friend - Keep reaching and stay sober, you will get there.

Dave

TheEnd

I can sympathize with what you're going through, I was involved in a DUI accident back in Aug and in November the DA filed DUI charges against me. It's a bitch, and it's my second, I should know better, but as they say nothing changes if nothing changes and I didn't change my behavior so things like this were bound to happen.

Luckily I still have my license right now, based on some minor technicalities, but when I was about to lose it I almost lost my mind, because I realized how important this stupid little card is in my life. I know eventually it will be suspended, but for right now I am happy that I still can get around.

And like you I realized that drinking would only make my situation worse, so I made the decision to stop and it actually let me think a little clearer and realize what trouble I was actually facing. When I kept drinking I didn't realize the gravity of the offense, but upon sobering up, it kind of hit me in the face.

I wish you the best of luck and like you I will most likely have to get an interlock device since my BAL was so freaking high, hoping that there is enough time span between DUIs that they won't crucify me, but yeah it's a b*****...