BigTex3

Day 2 here.
While I should probably feel happy about this, I just feel completely unimpressed. I feel beaten. I guess it's good because I've finally given up. Life has gotten WAY too hard to navigate while drinking, so I hung up my spurs on Saturday night.

barely slept last night w/ nightmares (that was fun).
my body is sore everywhere it seems.

I thought I'd take my wife out tomorrow night and then I sat there and couldn't come up with a single activity that didn't involve drinking. Settled on a movie.

anyway, glad to be at Day 2. It beats day #8748578478397584 of drinking.

AmericanGirl

I know you can do it, Big Tex. Is there anything you're doing differently this time?

RobbyRobot

Hi Tex, sorry for your troubles. Looks like you keep having Day 1's and what not. That's a tough break, and I've been there myself. Nothing for it but to accept that some changes in how you live through and get through your day is in order. You already know you want to quit, and you already know it takes more than just putting down that last drink.

Any ideas on what is tripping you up?

Sharing from one peer to another is a well known trait of successful recovery. Honesty has its place in our new life of sober living and it takes some doing to discover that deep honesty. Hope things get better for you soon.

RR

BigTex3

not really doing a lot different, except...........I've finally seen the changes that have happened around me (for the worst) and how much it's tearing me apart. There is NO other option other than to quit. All of my previous attempts were followed by "I'll do this for a while and then it'll be all fixed" and I've come to realize that's not real.

i think i'm bummed. I LOVE drinking beer watching football and going to the lake and cooking out........and well, basically everything. It's just very sobering for me to realize how much must change around me. of course, I hate the hangovers and fights with my wife and health issues it creates, but i feel very freaked out going thru life w/o my booze....

bdiddy5522

Sorry you are going through this again. Remember, nothing changes if nothing changes. Keep working on your sobriety.

bdiddy5522

And if you remove the "drinking beer" part, you can still do all of those things. In fact, I have found I enjoy doing those things even MORE without my mind being clouded with alcohol. Given enough time, you will discover a happiness and calmness you never knew existed.

I would highly suggest you find a program of recovery. Sounds like you have tried long enough to quit on your own, and it isn't working. Just a suggestion.

Mark75

Yea I felt that way, big time, still do occasionally.

While many of us understand that we can't stay sober today on yesterday's sobriety... I have found that the more I watch football, go to the lake, ski trips, fishing, hunting... all of that stuff... the more I just put one foot in front of the other, and not drink, the easier it gets.... and I realize that... "Hey, I can do anything I want to, except drink" .. and wonder of wonders... I still enjoy it... That helps... I've done it before w/o booze... so... I can do it again.

There is no shortcut to experience though, so, well, start getting some

Also, you have heard this before... just get through today w/o your booze, just for today, then, do that again tomorrow.

Keep posting.

AmericanGirl

I'll second what Mark says . . for me it gets easier over time to do all my favorite things without booze, even the things that were totally intertwined.

I don't know if you've already done this, but for me it helped to make a huge list on paper of all the positive reasons for quitting (which included negative things rephrased, like, "fewer fights") it sounds like you are doing this in your head but seeing it on paper really helped me.

Hope you're doing okay tonight.

Sudz No More

I know where you are at Tex. It pains me to this day to have to dig a hole and bury my desire. I just got to a point where as sad as it may be I have to abstain. It sucks badly but we just need to look away and never look back. Try not to dwell and avoid temptation.

Yeah, drinking activities, I get it. We just have to remember why we want to be sober and how it is more important than the comfort zone that drinking gives us.

BigTex3

closing out day 2.
feeling ok - except EXTREME irritability.

thanks for all your kind words. As my wife would say "this is my walk" and I must simply accept it.

thanks again.

least

I can't tell you how many day Ones I had... too many... But I didn't give up, not even when I wanted to give up. And my friends here didn't give up on me. And now I'm closing in on one year sober. So if I can do it, you can too. NEVER give up.

TheEnd

Glad you're back, but I have to ask, what are you going to do differently? Just something to think about....

artsoul

Keep it in today, BigTex and be patient with the process (and yourself!). It took me a while to go from "I can't imagine life without booze" to "I can't imagine life without sobriety."

Hang in there!

MsCooterBrown

I know this most likely doesn't compare to football..going to the lake..or the bbq cookout/beer connection..but one I will add...over Thanksgiving we pulled out the Yahtzee game. Yup...I did SOBER YAHTZEE! Everyone else was drinking too. I took on the DS role..(designated scorekeeper) and HAD FUN!! Hope to hear from you more! Hang in there. Funny..your wife saying this is your walk. When people have a bad day I tell them "Today it is your turn to drag the cross"...

mercurial me

I so feel for you man. The nightmares are the worst. I always get the nightmares when my body is sore from the inside-out (kidneys, liver, gall bladder, pancreas, etc) and I try to sleep. I'll have nights where my nightmares are interrupted by lightning-like shots of pain through my body and in the morning it feels like I got a grand total of 20 minutes of solid shut-eye.

I'll say a special prayer for you tonight and please make it to days #3 & #4 sober. God bless and please stay sober..xx....mm

Dee74

Tex - this board is *full* of folks living happy healthy fun filled lives without alcohol

The day I gave up alcohol has become one of those life-changing before and after moments. I regret nothing

It's possible for you too, mate

see you tomorrow
D

DayWalker

Tex I been there/done that. And I still have probs even almost a year later, but just remember what you said...

When you need too...go back to that. Because there's a deep meaning in that short phrase which we all can relate too, feel lucky you found it so soon in your sobriety.

Best of luck bud.

Steve