kristin

thanks for the advice
I'm so greatful to each person has written me. So, many people tip toe around people to help them when some times you need to come right out and say wake up, I've been there done that and it doesn't work! That's what I need...I need someone who has been on the 1st day of sobriety and have made it past a month, two and so on to be straight with me and to the point. I love the saying, you can plant a seed, but they have to nurture it. It's so true! I am looking for an AA by my house, but haven't found one yet. I found one 45 minutes away, but I want something closer. I will call around! I guess this is day two for me and I can't wait to have a month under me so I can at least feel a life style change and not just a couple day break. I really want this, but it is so new and it's so hard....I can't believe its hard, why? How stupid!!! Why do I think about alcohol like it was an old boyfriend or something? It's just a drink and it makes me feel sick every time, EVERY TIME!!! When ever I think about wanting a drink I just want to grab a bottle and throw it against the fence!!!!!!!!! It's so upseting to me that it has this hold on me...UGH!!!!!!

Don S

Hi, Kristin, and congratulations on day two.

It is kind of like an old relationship! It's over, but there's some misplaced nostalgia, some remembered patterns of behavior, and some desire to rekindle it EVEN THOUGH you know it isn't in your best interest to do so.... Some people here have described "saying goodbye" or even writing a letter to alcohol: ending the relationship for good.

We all think about drinking; we think about it a lot, and that is perfectly normal. Thinking about drinking isn't a sign of weakness on your part. Think of it as an opportunity. Drinking is something we spent a LOT of our time doing, and planning for, and arranging our lives around. Now it's time to plan for NOT drinking, to have plans for the times you used to do that, and to arrange your life around other activities.

There is some discomfort in the first three days after you quit if you go cold turkey. Mostly it's physiological stuff: your body wants the carbohydrates, your brain wants the drug. Some of it is psychological: you want the comfort of old familiar behavior.

The good news: every day sober makes abstinence easier. The urges do get less frequent and less intense. You CAN stand them. If you really, really want to drink, try posting here about it. People will respond. We've ALL been there, and we can tell you what we did about the irritability or sleeplessness, or other symptoms you may be feeling.

Whenever you think about wanting a drink....think about what it is that drink would provide you, and then calmly decide how you're going to achieve that some other way.

I like the visualization of throwing the bottle against the fence, too! Your neighbors might mind the shattering of glass, so maybe you should buy a bean bag (or several) and throw them instead. Seriously! Nothing wrong with transferring a little of your frustration to another inanimate object. Personally, I took up darts and I've gotten pretty good at it.

You can do it--you are doing it! Talk to you on day 3...
Don S

Anna

You're doing great Kristin and you sound very determined. By the way, having you ever read 'Drinking: A Love Story' by Caroline Knapp. When you talked about thinking of alcohol like an old boyfriend, it made me think of that book. It is an amazingly honest look at a young woman's love affair with alcohol. Sorry if I sound like I'm selling the book - I just really love it!!

Anyways, good luck with finding a closer meeting and it really does get easier.

Hugs and love,
Anna

Chy

Good for you Kirsten let us know how it goes!

AvieG

Kristin, for me giving up booze was like a bereavement!!! I GRIEVED!!!! Oh HOW I grieved!!! I had LIVED with it for 23 years!! It was mostly my best friend, taking priorty over work, parents and children. Given a choice of being a good daughter, being a good mother or getting legless - I chose the booze every time.

Of course it is hard!!! Even the WORST relationships hurt when they break down. BUT with AA, my sponsor and my Higher Power I eventually DID get one month, 6 months, one year etc. etc......... under my belt.

I am GLAD that early recovery WAS hard for me, because anything which comes easy to ME, I don't tend to want once I have got it, if that makes sense to anyone?

The memories of my own long, hard struggle for sobriety is what helps me maintain it today.

Hang on in there.