johndelko408

I've been sitting on the pity pot for the last few days. Its weird because I've never really had it this bad. I've been going to meetings, talking to my sponsor, praying and just all around staying connected. Normally its when I'm not staying connected that I get like this. I really don't understand why this particular time why I got on the pity pot. I do know that its partially do to the fact that I'm not getting what I want, my way. But I understand that the world doesn't revolve around me, that its not my will but Gods will. Even this morning I was sitting on it, but I've managed to get off. I know that part of my stress and such is related to circumstances in my life. I'm going through a divorce, I got fired from my job last month and I haven't seen my kids in over a week. Not seeing my kids is what bothers me the most because my little bundles of joy mean everything to me. They're the reason why I got sober. I didn't go to church today so I'm guessing that may have something to do with why I was feeling like crap this morning. I'm feeling much better now. I talked to a member of my support group earlier today and we are going to go to an NA meeting at 7:30 tonight. I don't take in as many NA meetings as I do AA meetings which is contrary to my using. I smoked pot more than I drank, but I got into more trouble with alcohol. I hurt many people that love me with my drinking, that's why I focus more on that. AA also keeps me sober from pot too because I incorporate the steps not just for alcohol but also pot.

Dee74

The one thing I had to learn in recovery was to let go of the reins John - I never realised but I was quite the control freak, and also pretty self absorbed...I wasn't a bad guy but lived a lot in my own head....

Recovery was about changing all that - I made myself available to people again, and I tried to let go a little and have some faith that things would turn out so long as I did the next right thing...it was very hard for me to just 'let go and let God' on a number of things...but looking back it was absolutely the right thing to do

Good to see you making your way that way too
D

glitter

Glad you pulled out of your funk John!

There is a 7:30 men's group that follows my 6:00 homegroup in LG. Don't know if that's the meeting you are talking about but lots of really good sobriety/recovery there. I know some of them - NOT from the men's meeting (obviously) - but from homegroup meetings.

Have a great night!

johndelko408

When you say LG are you referring to Los Gates.... But no the meeting I'm referring to is in San Jose off of The Alameda.

tmbg

Isn't that a substantial truth...I mean, if there is truth and all? It's great to see this aspect of drinking too much (heh, alcoholism) discussed.

This pity party is over!