What really is a sobriety date?
 

I became sober on Dec. 5th 1993? I drank that day, but also stopped drinking that very day and went to my first AA meeting that day, And haven't had anything alcoholic to drink until recently.
I know people who are the program who drink near beer or so called non-alcoholic beer, and even though they have drank these they remain sober still, and in questioning them insist that their sobiety date stands.
Here's the thing. A month ago to this day (Oct. 16, 2010) I drank for the first time in nearly 17 years. I had approxiately 3/4 of a can of a 12 oz can of beer before deciding this was not a very good idea. I did not become intoxicated from this and haven't drank any since. But the very same people who drink the near beer regularly say that my one act has changed my actual sobriety date to 10/16/2010 while they remain firm that their use of near beer does not change their orginal date.
***Before I go any further - I would recommend *NOT* doing either - I believe you would be playing with fire to do so. So don't try this at Home or anywhere for that matter - I felt the desire to drink like I did when I first quit for about 2 weeks ( Not Physically, but Mentally - believe me it sucked ) during which time I even considered buying some near beer on several occiasions but substained from doing so.***
Now I know as a fact, that we all only have the 24 hr period we are living in now to claim as our sobriety, I would like to get some feedback on others thought about this matter.
Here's my question: What do you believe the Beginning sobriety date I use should be? and Do people who use near beer, Beginning Date change each time they drink a near bear? Please briefly explain your answer.

Honestly that is really something that you have to decide for yourself or talk to your sponsor (if you have one) about. As far as the people drinking the non-alcoholic stuff, you really shouldn't worry, you can't take their inventory. If they feel comfortable drinking non-alcoholic (which in reality is not, it has a very very small among in it) then that's their prerogative. I kind of get the feeling that you know your personal answer to your question. From my understanding of the program we are supposed to have complete abstinence from alcohol, not even a taste.

I would change my DOS if I did what you did
It's all about being honest for me....
not the time I have in sobriety.

I never drink NA beer ...and in my AA home group
I don't know of any members who do.
Their sponsors would deter them from claiming
to be sober.

Welcome to SR......:wavey:

In all honesty, I'm far less concerned with some arbitrary date in the past than I am the fact that I'm not drinking TODAY.

But perhaps I have a simplistic view on sobriety.

What others do or don't do is really none of my business. I learned early on in recovery to 'stick with the winners.' Well ................ what in the he!! were 'the winners?'

I learned to watch and listen not only in the meetings but at breaks and before and after and at the coffee shops we would go to. Were the ones that I thought might be winners 'walking the way they were talking?' Or were they gossiping? Were they going to church on Sunday to pray and then spending the other 6 days preying on their fellow man? Things like that.

I found the winners. I found the people that LIVED the 12 steps after WORKING the 12 steps. They become my examples to model my own sobriety on.

To this day, I don't worry about others sobriety dates. I take care of my own. I work with others in the way I was worked with. I LIVE the principles of the 12 steps to the best of my ability, in ALL my affairs, One Day At A Time.

I am comfortable in my belief that my HP knows my DOS is as true and accurate as I have been able to make it.

I believe you already know the answer to your question. You drank almost a whole can of beer. It wasn't a slip, it wasn't an 'oops I picked up someone else's drink' you drank it. Maybe now is the time to do some reflection, to see what you WERE NOT doing so that the 'sneaky thoughts' or 'stinking thinking' returned. Only you know what caused this lapse.

Now I have a question for you. What are you going to do now so that you again don't have to change your sobriety date?

Love and hugs,

My sobriety date is important to me, it was a day that changed my life. I don't count my time, per se, but that date will be etched in my head forever.

If I ever purposefully drank alcohol, even a swallow, I would change my date. About the NA beer thing, I think it's nonsensical for an alcoholic to go there since it does in fact contain alcohol (and all the other psychological triggers that go with it, the bottle, the smell, the taste, etc), but I'm only in charge of my own recovery.

I'm not big on the dates....and the only real reason I announce it when I share at a meeting is because my sponsor tells me to....and my line of sponsorship "requires" it.

IMO, maybe you should change your date, maybe you shouldn't.... that's really between you and God and your conscience and so forth.

Ppl that routinely drink "near beer," IMO, are not ppl I'd want to hang around. I wouldn't want my sponsees at their meetings and.........all that's me being judgemental......and I'm reeeeeally trying not to judge - lol. What they do is up to them - but I'm not going to be part of that world with them.

Like Carol said, you don't have to get drunk to lose your sobriety. Sobriety is more than "I don't drink."

My sobriety date is the day after my last drink (drunk)....the day I decided to turn my life around... I've had a near beer this past summer.....just out of curiousity.....cant say I will ever have another one...and I'm not changing my sobriety date because of it.....there has been alot of discussion on SR about near beer....some drink it without any problems..and others like me can see where that near beer may take us....

hummm, the day you took the "desire to quit" chip? i believe that would be the day you are honest with oneself...

posted by Laurie I found the people that LIVED the 12 steps after WORKING the 12 steps. They become my examples to model my own sobriety on.


totally agree on this...my Uncle and my Aunt work this honest program every single day, and i as the al oner (haha) so admire them and there work at the program...I am so glad to have followed into the fellowship with them....so many good people

Your sobriety date is the last day that you drank.

Your sobriety experience is everything you built up before and after drinking. Sobriety dates are celebrated, but it's the experience you pile up that is the most important by far. Take everything you'd built up and work it like it's your day job.

There's no putting aside a drink for our sobriety dates. We must stay accountable. Every sip of booze must be acknowledged and dealt with.

For me, my sobriety date will always be a rough figure starting around and in December 2009. Sure, I slipped during this past year but I only consider it a learning experience on my road to complete recovery.

I haven't drank anywhere near the level I did every day in almost a year now and the few slips were very small in comparison.

I am now past 40 days without a drop and I'm not looking back. The few bumps in the road only enabled me to see the pavement and I truly believe I am on my way to smooth roadways from here on out.

Therefore, I will always consider my sobriety date December 2009.

April 6 2007 was the day I stopped drinking...but it's also the day I utterly changed my life....I hope, and I trust, for good.

There's a very clear line in my mind dividing my life before and after.
What methods other people choose are their own and they don't bother me....

but if other peoples experience was like mine, I can't see there how there can be any confusion.

D

I agree. Only if you think it will affect your "future", do you need to change your past.

I think I would be more concerned about why you decided to drink that beer.

Regardless....you've had 3/4 of a can of beer in 17 years. That is still quite an accomplishment in sobriety.

Fix what's bugging you.

That's a tricky question.

You had 17 yrs vs. drinking 3/4 of a can of beer. This is one of those things where there really isn't a black or white, but rather shades of gray.

If you had like 7 days of sobriety and you drank 3/4 of a beer, I would say yeah you need to change it. The fact that you had 17 yrs of sobriety and drank 3/4 of beer, kind of puts me between a rock and a hard space.

On one hand, someone who sticks to the hard fast rule that even if you sip an alcoholic drink is subscribing to some sort of perfection in my book. And as humans we know none of us is perfect. So do people who go around saying that they have never had a sip of alcohol in 17 yrs think they are perfect or better than other people who may have had that sip. Just a thought that came to me.

On the another hand if you did change your sobriety date, you might educate people about how we really do live 24hrs at a time and no matter how much time we have, we are all still vulnerable to taking that drink. I know some people may disagree, because some people feel after they work the 12 steps that their desire to drink will be removed.

Whatever, that's not a debate I'm trying to get into

To me if I had 17 yrs of sobriety and I drank 3/4 of a can of beer, I probably would keep my original date if that 3/4 can of beer did not change my perception or view on what sobriety means to me, but that's just me.

I'm working my own program.......and people that have time to worry about my program, probably aren't spending enough time on their own program.

I think whatever date helps you stay sober and feels right to you is good.

I agree with TheEnd that it is a gray area.

I recently drank a lot this past summer after 16 years of sobriety. I consider myself someone with both 16 years sobriety and 2 1/2 months sobriety. That works for me. I'm not sure if I would have restarted my count if it had only been one drink.

Sounds like you are in a lot of pain over this!

I hope you have a real good look at why you drank again and im presuming you are in AA so hope that you rework the first 9 steps again asap with a sponsor!

I "know" people that drink NA stuff, one person a bottle of NA wine a night, they have 15 years sober and sponsor which is quite "funny"...their sponsees are as loopy as them but thats not my concern...what is my concern is to ensure i dont get like that!

A 24 hour period of sobriety? Well either God (your HP) has removed the obsession to drink or hasn't and i know that He does not work on the 24 hour clock! Sure living in the day in an excellent goal and well worthwhile but you may want to take a look at that too IMO...

Best of luck...get on with some work so the **** its dont come back and you find yourself crawling back asking for help in a few years if at all...

Obviously your sobriety date has changed as it is the last time you chose to drink alcohol...up to you what you do with that though!

Only 3/4 of a 12 oz can of beer in 17 years is very impressive. Congratulations. Hope you are able to enjoy the same success in the next 17 years!

In my opinion resetting your sobriety date is a personal decision, but your Recovery date didn't change. Even through this rough patch, sounds like it could have been a lot worse!

I've never heard anything like that before, Sudz. I find it curious and interesting.