21 years of marriage ended today :(
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: uk
Posts: 464
Sorry to hear that Homer..thats a long time,best of luck fella..be lucky if mine lasts 5 yrs,
on the rocks as it is, still no love lost here,with us two that is,never was one for that marriage thing anyhows, just went with it to keep her happy...hope its not a cue for Drinking..once again good luck.
on the rocks as it is, still no love lost here,with us two that is,never was one for that marriage thing anyhows, just went with it to keep her happy...hope its not a cue for Drinking..once again good luck.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Lost
Posts: 65
I know it's cliche'... but every ending is a new beginning.
I started dating my first wife in highschool. We made it 18 years, with two beautiful daughters. The end was so... hard... I ended up spending 2.5 weeks in a hospital to... "get my mind right".
And then I met a very loving and caring woman.
And 2 years later, I was married to this angel. We're coming up on our 3rd anniversary.
If it wasn't for the painful circumstances that led to the end of my first marriage, I would never have been in the position to meet the one person that I was truly meant to be with.
Best wishes.
I started dating my first wife in highschool. We made it 18 years, with two beautiful daughters. The end was so... hard... I ended up spending 2.5 weeks in a hospital to... "get my mind right".
And then I met a very loving and caring woman.
And 2 years later, I was married to this angel. We're coming up on our 3rd anniversary.
If it wasn't for the painful circumstances that led to the end of my first marriage, I would never have been in the position to meet the one person that I was truly meant to be with.
Best wishes.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
Please don't use this as an excuse to drink. Drinking is what led to this sad situation and will only make things worse. I pray you can stay sober and work on a better future for yourself.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 35,731
Anything I could say to you now will not make you feel better. Nether will drinking. Try and make this ending a new beginning for You. I'm newly divorced myself after 29 years. My choice, and it's still hard. A big reason for my drinking, was knowing the marriage was over and not knowing what to do about it. I made my decision and I'm looking forward not back. We can't change our past. Each day is a promise for a better life. Put the alcohol down and embrace every day as if it were your last. I wish you peace and happiness.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: DE
Posts: 48
Sorry to hear that. Don't dwell in the past what could have been, it is not possible to change the past, say the serenity prayer as many times as it takes everyday, every moment if you have to. You said it was long overdue, you can now grow from this going forward. Don't do what I did and drink your pain away for years after. I drank before because I had never been married, then after I was married because my marriage sucked or it was good, then I drank because I wasn't married and lonely, there is always a reason. Use this as a reason to make a change, don't drink, it will only drive you farther away from what God wants you to be.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
I found....in recovery....that most of what "felt" like the worst and the most disappointing things to have ever happened ended up, in the long run, not only being necessary but part of the puzzle that needed to fall into place for the rest of it to come into perspective.
I've had to work on divorcing myself from my judgments to find happiness.
I've had to work on divorcing myself from my judgments to find happiness.
Sober member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: New Haven,CT
Posts: 109
thank you so much everybody 
my years of drinking had much to do with it,the funny part is on the 3rd day of sobriety and searching for a sponsor is when she told me,totally screwed me up! the beer is gone and hopefully get a temporary sponsor this evening,which is something ive never had before but seriously need one!
living on almost no food or sleep for 3 days now,i know its not healthy for my health but just cant stop the thinking and have no appetite.
ps:the best part of this is losing my wifes controlling mother,she made me miseable for many years,22 to be exact.unfortunately my wife just cant say no to her but she will now be on her own to deal with it and hopefully makes a stand for herself,shes gonna be 40 soon.
again,the beer is gone,im still very confused and heartbroken but will find the courage thru my boys(21 and 14) and AA.
see you all soon
my years of drinking had much to do with it,the funny part is on the 3rd day of sobriety and searching for a sponsor is when she told me,totally screwed me up! the beer is gone and hopefully get a temporary sponsor this evening,which is something ive never had before but seriously need one!
living on almost no food or sleep for 3 days now,i know its not healthy for my health but just cant stop the thinking and have no appetite.
ps:the best part of this is losing my wifes controlling mother,she made me miseable for many years,22 to be exact.unfortunately my wife just cant say no to her but she will now be on her own to deal with it and hopefully makes a stand for herself,shes gonna be 40 soon.
again,the beer is gone,im still very confused and heartbroken but will find the courage thru my boys(21 and 14) and AA.
see you all soon
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
I was 7 yrs into my marriage
drinking when family stepped
in with an intervention sending
me to rehab where I stayed
28 days recieving the tools
and knowledge of my alcoholism.
I remain sober till my almost
25 yr marriage before my
spouse and I divorced.
There were many factors
leading up to that divorce
and one was medaling in-
laws.
On one hand I had in laws
who were a thorn in my
side and always there and
the other set of parents
kept their distance.
D*amned if u do.
D*amned if u don't.
Other factors were lack
of understanding and
communication.
With one in recovery,
no one in the family
understood me and I
them.
We did however raised
2 awesome intelligent
caring young adults whom
we r very proud of.
I have moved on in my
life and recovery. Remarried
to someone in AA and we
are on the same page.
25 yrs not totally lost.
Take what u want from it,
leave the rest and move
on and grow.
drinking when family stepped
in with an intervention sending
me to rehab where I stayed
28 days recieving the tools
and knowledge of my alcoholism.
I remain sober till my almost
25 yr marriage before my
spouse and I divorced.
There were many factors
leading up to that divorce
and one was medaling in-
laws.
On one hand I had in laws
who were a thorn in my
side and always there and
the other set of parents
kept their distance.
D*amned if u do.
D*amned if u don't.
Other factors were lack
of understanding and
communication.
With one in recovery,
no one in the family
understood me and I
them.
We did however raised
2 awesome intelligent
caring young adults whom
we r very proud of.
I have moved on in my
life and recovery. Remarried
to someone in AA and we
are on the same page.
25 yrs not totally lost.
Take what u want from it,
leave the rest and move
on and grow.
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
I just saw this, Patrick.. and I'm sorry to hear it. I'm glad you're here with us, and on a path towards recovery again. Stick around, if anything else, we do understand a lot of this stuff.
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