LTrzczka

So here I am again on a Friday night, trying to busy myself. If I can make two weeks without a drink I'll be jumping for joy! Somewhere here on SR I read a blurb about:

Commit, Objectify, Respond, Enjoy...

I can find very little about this on the Net, however. Where does it come from, who recommends it, who does it, and so on...

I am asking about this because the 12 steps are just not for me.

Does anyone know about CORE?

LT

Jupiter

LT,

Good luck this weekend! I actually find weekends easier than weekdays because I can just sit and home and do some reading or web surfing instead of going to work.

Sorry, don't know much about CORE.

Jupiter

Kdog76

I do like acronyms...
H.A.L.T is one my favorites.
A.V.R.T is another good one.

Where on this site did you first hear of this CORE system?

May be worth looking into.

Dee74

If you type 'Commit, Objectify, Respond, Enjoy' into Google you'll find a lot of information....or at least I did

D

Toronto68

I did a search and read briefly what I found. What I read didn't make me overjoyed I found it, but I'm not going to throw stones at it either. I didn't get a sense of where it comes from , ie, does it have an organization that uses its principles (does it take the name CORE, etc) or is it just a standalone set of principles that someboy wrote about and which are agreed upon by pockets of other organizations or what.

All I looked at was a Wiki page, and it is called Quit Drinking without AA. The nature of the title and the way it's written made it hard for me not to find it kind of superficial. But that's my opinion.

Have you heard about SMART? That is a program that is an alternative to AA, and it is mentioned here a lot. I don't know a lot about it.

I see under your avatar that you don't have a high number of posts, so I don't know how long you've been coming to this site. But there is a section in this forum for people that prefer alternatives to 12 Step approaches - Secular Connections. You could roam through that.

I haven't done the Steps and not sure if I will (we shall see), but I read the sections that are more AA-oriented, or posts from people that I know use AA. I get something out of it.

Toronto68

After spending so much time trying to reply carefully to your original post, I forgot to respond to something important:

"If I can make two weeks without a drink I'll be jumping for joy!"

That is very similar to what I kept saying to myself every day during my first two weeks. It was an amazing feat, and I'm surprised that this was almost a year ago.

Keep going. Busying yourself is part of it, only dealing with the present day is part of it, and then gratitude and confidence and things inside of you that are hard to describe will start to kick in and help you along. That's how I remember it.

yeahgr8

Wow yeah i wasn't that impressed...who wrote that stuff?! Cant you just go to AA for a year, recover then go to core or smart?

anaconda22

I'm not sure about CORE. However, I am interested. The 12 step process is just too much & I don't think I'm that bad. I don't wan't to spend my life "working" a 12 step "program." I just want to stop drinking so much.

SSIL75

It does read like AVRT to me which I find to be a very powerful tool. AA is not for everyone. I would go as far as to say that it's utterly unhelpful to some people! I hope you find what you're looking for.

Toronto68

Ha ha, Yeahgr8, yes, you expressed your opinion more efficiently than I did.

In particular, something that bothered me about the Wiki article is what they said about the human mind and the animal mind. If I go along with that model and then think about when I quit, well, it was more like my animal mind that took over the show against my human mind. I say that because I had this notion that my brain, the thing that runs my body, was overriding anything my mind (the person with thoughts and decisions and intentions and feelings) might have done, out of a survival instinct. Because to me the mind could have just kept drinking, while the brain knew what I needed to do in order to still be here.

So we didn't get off on the right foot, the article and I, ha ha.

When it comes to Rational Recovery and all the others, I guess I don't have that much of an opinion, and I haven't tried them. I would be happy with whatever someone does to get away from alcohol, but I guess I wouldn't necessarily be able to converse along the way in the same terms. Whatever works.

Benowhere

What you said about the survival instinct is very interesting. I think there is an overall life instinct which can override the addictive brain, and finally make someone quit in the face of disaster. However, it doesn't happen automatically to everyone, as we all know of people who drank and drank until it killed them.

However, on an everyday basis, that same life-preserving, 'animal' brain equates booze with survival, thinking it must have it to survive. It's the same with smoking and all drugs. And that's why urges and cravings can feel SO overwhelmingly irresistable - those urges are coming from the deepest, most ancient parts of our brains, and the brain really believes it needs the drink or drug to survive, therefore, it will fight for its life.

However, things like AVRT, CORE, and the writer Allen Carr, are there to learn from. I was finally able to quit alcohol, smoking and other substances at the same time, using these kind of techniques. Allen Carr being the most helpful. And I had been to 6-700 AA meetings in my time before this.

Boleo

Sounds like more psychological tricks & tips to help people sober up just long enough to please the courts.

IMO real recovery is what treats the "core issues" that made people want to drink in the first place. Anything less is a stop-gap measure.

They say there is no wrong way to stay sober. However, there are a plethora of unreliable ways to stay sober.

LTrzczka

Everyone has been so helpful. I read every comment. I get the impression that maybe CORE is too simplistic. I thought that too, actually. But AA and the god thing, and the Bill W thing... I'll never be a part of that.

I'm just trying to find a way. My girlfriend is awesome and she tries to help... but she doesn't know what it's like to not remember driving to the beer store...

I don't know, I don't know, I just don't know...

LTrzczka

I write this and the last message trashed. I didn't make my two-week goal. I'm here on SR. I don't know what you all have to say about this sorry son-of-a-gun. I never posted trashed before. Probably I'll get kicked off SR for this. I come here because I have nowhere else to go. Bye LT

Ten0fnine

I'm with you there. It's almost sad to me that the recovery doctrine is so rigid, and it seems that if you question it, or choose not to participate, it somehow causes people to challenge your commitment and sincerity towards quitting.

Ten0fnine

All I have to say is that I'm sorry you missed your goal, and encourage you to try again. And then again. And then again.

And then again.

You'll be in my thoughts. Tomorrow is a new day.

yeahgr8

Yeah gr8...Bill W, God and AA...the Big Book has a solution to alcoholism for those that are ready and willing...i went to AA for a few meetings each time every 5-ish years from 20 to finally 38...don't you think along the way i thought what a load of bollocks AA is? I just cant do the God thing? I don't belong here etc!Go and give it a go, wtf have you got to lose??????

The "funny" thing is that AA was nothing like i thought it was...it really works if you work the real AA program...i can go where i want and do what i want now, alcohol doesnt even feature anymore...no more cravings, triggers, fear...how is that not worth getting???

LTrzczka

Thank you for mentioning my sincerity. This ****ing thing seems too big, too much of a monster...

I really try even if I can't stay sober for two damn weeks.

The word "illness" keeps coming to mind. I just can't wrap my head around the fact that I am my own sickness. How the hell did I do this to myself?

LTrzczka

This scares me more than getting drunk. Really.

Ten0fnine

I know how I did it to myself.

For decades I buried pain and hurt deep within myself. Little by little, a bit would slip out and surface- so I began to drink.

After awhile, I wasn't even drinking to numb the pain anymore- I was drinking to numb myself.

And I hid it the best I could. And I lied to myself. And I justified it in my own, sick, mind. And I hurt people through what I was doing to myself.

Imagine learning how to knit. It's not easy at first, but over time you get better and better until you no longer even think about it- you just turn out sweater after sweater.

I taught myself to drink. Slowly at first, and then it became easier and easier until I no longer even thought about it. It's just something I did.

Now I'm learning how to be sober. And it's not not easy. But over time, you get better and better at it. Hopefully at some point sobriety will be the sweater I can put over my shoulders on cold evenings, instead of a bottle of bourbon.

LT, I only have 2 days sober right now. I hope I can make it one week- I can't imagine right now even considering making it two. You will succeed, you just need to teach yourself to knit sweaters... so to speak. And don't quit trying.