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"alcoholic",a very bad word

Old 11-10-2010, 05:15 PM
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The problem with that word is that nobody agrees on what it means. Even here!

What matters is what you decide to do, and the reasons why -- and it's a good thing, imo, if the reasons why are a little more specific than a label. As for what other people think -- that can't matter right now.
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Old 11-10-2010, 05:19 PM
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Alcoholic, smuckaholick, it matters not what people call me on it. People can be judgmental, so oh well let them. Actually being called alcoholic is better than the other harsh names I've been called by friends and family.

Yep, the best thing to do is earn a new name. Like ex-alcoholic, recovered alcoholic or once a drinker. Those names I like to hear from others close to me.
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Old 11-10-2010, 05:39 PM
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I have been on this site for a little while, and have learned alot about myself in the process. I hate the term alcoholic. I have a problem with describing myself as an alcoholic. I read here, I post here, and I've started AA. I read the big book, I read a womans guide through the 12 steps, and I'm working on myself, my spirituality, and my sobriety. When it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it IS a duck, usually. I AM an alcoholic. But for me for some reason, I say I have a problem with alcohol, or that I'm a problem drinker. Why?? I DON'T KNOW.... but ya know what? Regardless of what I want to be called, or call myself, or what I say in meetings etc, I know what I have to do. I am actively working on it. The end.
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Old 11-10-2010, 05:54 PM
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I remember hating the term too. Bear in mind, I had some odd thought and beliefs that I thought went with the word. When I found out what being an alcoholic really DID mean and let of of the false beliefs that I thought it meant.....it got a lot easier to see I was (and am) an alcoholic.

Like Zen said, it doesn't matter to me (much ) what other ppl think about me. ...and that's a GIFT from working the AA program. I just don't really care...and if I'm in fit spiritual condition, I won't even try to correct you. I'm learning derive my worth from areas other than what you say about me and what I think you believe about me.

Keep plugging away Julez....keep being honest, keep talking, keep posting, and keep searching. I'll promise you it'll keep getting better.
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Old 11-10-2010, 06:10 PM
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The insanity of the alcoholic...we should start a list!
  • Doesn't want to be labelled
  • Doesn't want to accept responsibility for any actions both past and present
  • Expects everyone affected by their drinking to forget on cue what occured the last time so they can have another fresh start
  • Thinks they are unique
  • Says one thing and does another
  • Is never to blame

Just a few 'lighter' ones off the top of my head...hope you get to the point where you are willing to go to any lengths soon...if you become a recovered alcoholic then everything will change!
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Old 11-10-2010, 07:17 PM
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Homer, I am not sure if I am getting where you are going with your post. I initially wasn't sure what to say about the gossip (presumed or real) of others, but now that I have taken another look, it seems like you have a number of things to say about what other people think. I wonder if that is a coincidence that it showed up in one post like that or if you are preoccupied with how others perceive you.

One of the thing sI have been thinking about lately is not operating in such a way that the perception of others has so much energy in my head. Sometimes that makes healthy sense, but obviously it should matter to us; it's how we obey laws and communicate and many other things. But there is a way of allowing some good to come out of focusing on what one thinks of oneself. Do you think you would like to put more weight into what you want to see in you and less in what others do?

If you can own what you don't necessarily like, you can also own what you can like. That's something I keep trying to remember, and even have to refer to a piece of paper with notes on it sometimes if I have to. I didn't have a guarantee in my head that it would last when I quit several months ago, only an idea that kind of came up and then going ahead with it, then paying attention to what I was thinking every day, then talking here, and so on. I think it can last for me if I pay attention to the things we are talking about.

By the way, I noticed that you have no spelling errors even though you mentioned you don't like to put a lot into grammar.
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Old 11-10-2010, 07:20 PM
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By the way, the word alcoholic does have a lot of negative connotations associated with it. But some alcoholics are also very thoughtful, wonderful people and always were. It depends on the context.
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Old 11-11-2010, 07:10 AM
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I don't like the label 'alcoholic' either and I've been told by professionals as well as by people here and in AA that I wasn't a "real alcoholic"; but I had alcoholic tendencies, rarely stopped before blacking out or passing out-didn't know when to stop-drank more than intended- etc. Alcohol nearly ended my life so although I don't consider myself an alcoholic I do accept that I can't drink not 1 sip ever no matter what label is attached to me.
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Old 11-11-2010, 07:14 AM
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I sure hope this will be the time for you to quit Patrick.
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Old 11-11-2010, 07:33 AM
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I've got nothing to hide and actually find it to my benefit to call myself an Alcoholic but I can understand the vilification you must feel if people are judging you solely based on a bad habit.

People close me to know that I have this problem and will discuss it with me if I seem to be struggling. Before I was ready to quit though, I did have some snickering in my direction because of the booze.

Just remember, regardless of what others say you are quitting for you and only you. Right now, when it comes to your health only you matter. If you try to quit because others want you to you will only feel resentment towards them as you try to get through cravings.

One day at a time right now and you'll be able to walk tall into that next family encounter and be proud of yourself.
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Old 11-11-2010, 04:34 PM
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I believe two types of people form negative connotations for the term "alcoholic":
1. those that have never and will never become one;
2. those that already are and don't admit it to themselves;

As far as what people think of you.....There's only one person you need to answer to in life - that's yourself. If you can look at yourself in the mirror at the end of an honest day's work and say, "good job, you gave it 100% today and you've done well" then may I ask, "Why would you care what other people thought?". Their negative thoughts carry no weight!

Good luck.
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Old 11-11-2010, 04:39 PM
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Ok I think I'm an alcoholic but I try not to personalize it. I've lived with labels from medical diagnoses all my life etc, impacting my identity. But first and foremost I'm a human being and creation of God and I try never to forget that.

I use the term for clarity's sake, even though my own counselor seemed to shirk from it. As for the public image of an alcoholic and the shame associated with it, stemming from stereotype... alcoholism and addiction doesn't discriminate, it can affect anyone from all walks of life, all levels of intelligence or place in society, as many well noted people have demonstrated.
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Old 11-11-2010, 05:19 PM
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Im not sure how to say this without it coming off as rude but...

Why would you base your actions off of what a 21 year old kid (who hasnt experienced an alcohol problem for that matter) has to say in regards to determining whether you are an "alcoholic" or not?
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Old 11-11-2010, 07:23 PM
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I have a friend who once told a potential employer on a job interview that she was a recovering alcoholic and proud of it. She admitted to me that it wasn't a wise disclosure and ,needless to say, she didn't get the job. The term alcoholic is still very much looked down upon in todays society. I believe people understood a bit more in the past.
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Old 11-12-2010, 05:49 AM
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I don't like the term alcoholic much either but every time I go to an AA meeting that's how I introduce myself. Everybody else there does the same, and their drinking stories are often quite similiar to mine, so if the shoe fits . . .

Outside of an AA meeting I never describe myself as an alcoholic, it's nobody's business. And it really doesn't matter, it's just words and I've probably been called worse. What matters is my behavior, and I know that I can't have just 1 beer. If I do, it's off to the races.
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Old 11-12-2010, 08:39 AM
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Labels! I hate them!! Live a good life. Love your fellow man, be kind. Treat people as you want to be treated. Show compassion and understanding. Be a good person. Love yourself, have respect for yourself. If you can be that person who cares about a label?

Do the work and forget about names. Just my opinion Homer.
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Old 11-12-2010, 09:11 AM
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Ok, gotta say this. I love the word alcoholic and I'm proud every time I add "recovering" to the front of it. I was a alcoholic for 25 years before I became a recovering one. it's as much of me as is my name is. Although i don't walk around with a billboard that says "recovering alcoholic" on it, I don't have a problem at all with telling someone that - and I for sure tell my doc. That's just me of course.
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Old 11-12-2010, 09:21 AM
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I don't mind the word 'alcoholic' either cause I put "grateful recovering" in front of it.
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Old 11-12-2010, 01:59 PM
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thanks for all the opinions

im not feeling that good after 2 days off beer and cigs but i DO feel better than a regular drinking day.about my family,well my wifes mother is the type of person that does not stop talking about private matters in public,that has caused a serious resentment of her from me.i know some will say its because she cares or worried for her daughter but thats NOT the case,she has always wanted her daughter all to herself and i am an interference,an obstacle. its not an ultimatum i have gotten,its one i have given. i cant stay around this relationship anymore as long as she announces to the world EVERY and ANY personal problem of mine,along with the fact my wife hides things from her to avoid having the world know her private side.
i have decided its in my best interest to avoid all alcohol and tobacco,cant afford it and my inner body and soul is in need of repair.my self esteem is at an alltime low.i'm in desperate need of a hobby,whether its a 2nd job for minimum wage or a non-paying hobby like joining a gym,it still wont be easy as every woman around becomes my 'girlfriend' according to my wife but she denies being jealous,thats another huge problem in my life.

guess i said enough for today,thank you for listening.
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Old 11-12-2010, 02:18 PM
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i dont care for labels much either..Alcoholic the word i would never describe myself as..even with the possibility of having all the creds to be one, would not even recovering, admit publically too,why because somethings are best dealt with privately..or amongst fellows on similar paths of experience/recovery you can Trust,
having a problem with said drink issues, but finding the strength and will to deal with..albeit with the help of others, in groups/clubs/fellowships/forums, is enough for me
to not publically announce to the world.
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