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The Bar Got Me Yesterday

Old 11-10-2010, 11:58 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Glad you made it home safe.

I guess that answers your question about Joe...he is not your friend and should be avoided. You are the one who walked into the bar, but you are right and you should have been cut off.

Don't go to the bar to complain though, go to that AA meeting instead:-)
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Old 11-10-2010, 11:59 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by anaconda22 View Post
I'm only going to go back to ask to be barred from the place so I won't have to deal with the wreckless bartenders who put my life at risk by serving me from 6pm until almost midnight. I mean I don't think normal drinkers chug alcohol for that long. I had to miss work today because I'm so hungover & my boss doesn't like me anymore since I called him an a-hole. So I will probably be losing my job due to yesterdays awful fiasco.
Instead of going to the bar, where in all likelihood you will just drink again, go to a meeting. If you don't want to go into the bar, don't go into the bar. If you want them to ban you, call them and tell them that. There is NO GOOD REASON to go to a bar if you are an alcoholic.
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Old 11-10-2010, 11:59 AM
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screw the bar go to that meeting!!!!!
where people care about YOU
bet someone will be happy to give you a ride bk home
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Old 11-10-2010, 12:03 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Ana....I see your updates and I have to post this.....STOP.

If you are truly looking to get sober then stop dwelling on the bartender's failure to see you were intoxicated, seeing if the bar will ban you, not showing up to work because you got drunk?

Seriously, get to rehab, a doctor, AA, counseling, SMART.....etc.

Your thinking is highly unhealthy and we will be here to help you along the way but no one is to blame for last night except you. Once you accept this then you can move forward.

I hope you get to a better place and I mean that my friend.
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Old 11-10-2010, 12:08 PM
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goin back to the bar! you,ll prob end up havin one for the road, an end up right back in last nights..scenario! on a bender..being responsible for ones own actions comes to mind,
done the same myself..one disaster leads to another..stay clear..forget joe the bartender.
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Old 11-10-2010, 12:25 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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One of the toughest things for us in early sobriety is to let go of our old ideas and such, this includes old friends. I have friends that I grew up with have known them basically my whole life and it hurts deeply have to part ways with some of them. But in order to keep my sobriety I had to. I still do talk to them on occasions to see if they're ready to come into the rooms, but I don't hang out with them anymore. I've only got a lil over 10 months right now but in the beginning is when I realized who my true friends were. Those are the guys who respect my decision to not drink anymore, the ones that realize all I was doing was killing myself slowly. They are the ones who make it a point not to offer me alcohol and get in the face of someone that does. They know that I was tired of the way I was living and that I want to be the best father I can possibly be for my 2 lil ones, and for that I truly love the... in regards to the pills I would stay away from them. We already exhibit addictive personalities and to stop drinking only to start poppin pills is trading one addiction for the other. And its ok to be embarrassed to ride your bike to a meeting. Humility is one of the principles that we are supposed to live in all our affairs. I know a guy whose car broke down but he was secretary of a meeting so had to go. He made it to the meeting but when he showed up he was on a lavender colored girls bike with a banana seat and streamers. You seem like you really want sobriety and I'm sure you know the work that must be done to achieve it. So keep your head up we all have slip ups. The point is we're able to pick our selves up again, get back into the rooms and learn from our mistakes. God bless man and remember all you have to do is not drink or take anything TODAY, NO MATTER WHAT.
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Old 11-10-2010, 12:28 PM
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Originally Posted by anaconda22 View Post
I'm only going to go back to ask to be barred from the place so I won't have to deal with the wreckless bartenders who put my life at risk by serving me from 6pm until almost midnight. I mean I don't think normal drinkers chug alcohol for that long. I had to miss work today because I'm so hungover & my boss doesn't like me anymore since I called him an a-hole. So I will probably be losing my job due to yesterdays awful fiasco.
So just how unmanageable does your life have to get in order to do something different?
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Old 11-10-2010, 12:39 PM
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Ana,

I'm 5 months sober, starting my 6th month. I have yet to visit a bar or put myself into a situation where my sobriety was in jeopardy. I've missed a lot of family get togethers, parties, and outings with friends. In all honesty, it was very hard to do. But, I stayed sober. That was the most important thing to me.

When you make up your mind to get some help and remove alcohol from your life you can accomplish anything. It's all up to you.......not a bartender, a police officer or anyone else. I hope you can come to these conclusions on your own. I hope it doesn't take a horrific event before this happens.

Best Wishes
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Old 11-10-2010, 01:27 PM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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How dare they put that bar where you will be able to walk in!
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Old 11-10-2010, 01:32 PM
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Boy I stopped reading this post at "I stopped in to see my friend, joe the bartender".

No offense, but why?
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Old 11-10-2010, 01:43 PM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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Wow, if you could take a step back and then read through this thread.

You are blaming the bartender for your problems. Now you want to go back to the bar and get yourself banned. Stay away from the bar. You need to take the responsibility to not go back there. Don't put it on someone else. You will never get better until you change your attitude.
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Old 11-10-2010, 01:44 PM
  # 32 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by anaconda22 View Post
I was thinking about going back to the bar tonight when the owner is there & maybe tell him to have me banned from there or something. It's kinda sad because they even had a ladies night once a week. The thing is everyone in the place know that I'm a chronic alcoholic/drug addict. I guess they just want all the money I spend there. I just found a huge bruise on my ankle from when I blacked out last night. My body can't stop shaking, I'm having anxiety oh well thats Alcoholism at it's finest.
I used to date a guy that owned a bar for about 3 years. Nope,they don't care. They see way too many alcoholics to really care one way or another. If you tell them to ban you, they might but not likely. Not unless you get drunk and act like an ass. They are running a business. You are a paying customer. They are not babysitters.
Stay out of the bar if you want to stay sober.
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Old 11-10-2010, 01:51 PM
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Originally Posted by Freedom1990 View Post
So just how unmanageable does your life have to get in order to do something different?
Knowing my life has been destroyed from alcohol & drugs has never stopped me from picking back up. I have been in mental institutions, sentenced to one of the worst county jails in the country, DUI's, shot at, stabbed, homeless, attempted suicide ect.... So if I lose my job tomorrow because I didn't show up because I was hungover it will not be the end of the world.I guess I just don't want it bad enough or I'm "constitutionally incapable of being honest". That was my personal favorite line from mainstream AA'ers.
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Old 11-10-2010, 01:57 PM
  # 34 (permalink)  
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I don't think you're being honest now. In fact, this whole post seems very dishonest.

I can't believe to what lengths you're going to in this post to blame anyone but yourself.

If you ever get sober and I hope you do, save this post and re-read it.

In the meantime, focus on solution where the problem is you. If you can honestly do that, you'll be on your way.
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Old 11-10-2010, 01:57 PM
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Originally Posted by anaconda22 View Post
I guess I just don't want it bad enough or I'm "constitutionally incapable of being honest".
Or, more likely, you've lost the power of choice in taking a drink. The most sincere desire to stop is of absolutely no avail. Can't distinguish the true from the false. You may be suffering from a condition that only a spiritual experience can conquer.

And on and on.

quotes from aabb1st
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Old 11-10-2010, 01:59 PM
  # 36 (permalink)  
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Theres a meeting 6 blocks away but I can't drive & will look silly riding my bike there.

Probably not half as silly as you looked stumbling out of the bar . . .

If you want to go to a meeting you can get there. Walk 6 blocks, I've done that hundreds of times in your town (and in the middle of the night, in the dead of winter, during cab strikes, etc).

It sounds to me like you really don't want to go to a meeting very bad. But you do want to go back to the bar and talk to the owner in to barring you from the place. It's not the bartenders responsbility to keep you sober. If you want to know who's responsibilty that is, look in the mirror.
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Old 11-10-2010, 02:23 PM
  # 37 (permalink)  
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so I won't have to deal with the wreckless bartenders

If you just stay the hell out of the bars you won't have to deal with being a reckless patron... just sayin'...

I used to blame everyone and everything for my drinking. I was wrong to do so as it was MY OWN FAULT that I drank. And I didn't/couldn't quit drinking until I decided to really quit. You don't sound like you really want to quit, you just want someone else to blame for your troubles.

I too am glad you don't have a drivers license. At this point I don't think you deserve to be behind the wheel of a two ton weapon...


And walking six blocks to that meeting won't hurt you a bit... walking doesn't look silly but stumbling does...
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Old 11-10-2010, 02:31 PM
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I agree with Anna...you won't get better unless you change your attitude. Perhaps you're not yet ready to quit. If you're not, then you won't be willing to do whatever is necessary to recover. When you ARE ready, you'll do anything to avoid alcohol and you will accept responsibility for your own actions.
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Old 11-10-2010, 03:03 PM
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Originally Posted by anaconda22 View Post
I guess I just don't want it bad enough or I'm "constitutionally incapable of being honest". That was my personal favorite line from mainstream AA'ers.
Nah, it's not usually that fancy.

There was no way I was going to quit when I didn't really want to quit, when I still got a payoff for it, and when I was still living in the delusion that I was in control.

Good luck to you anaconda.....keep checking in and letting us know how you're doing.
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Old 11-10-2010, 03:37 PM
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Well I called my boss and told him I had "the flu" so hopefully I still have a job. He has became enraged in the past when I showed up to work smelling of alcohol because I deal with the public. I finally managed to eat some soup and made a call to another clinic to see a psychiatrist that will hopefully work with me. I have been prescribed benzos for years & coming off of them in this stressful time of my life is out of the question. I need the pills because my hangovers are so bad. I decided not to go back to the bar I guess that would be a dumb decision.
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