jamdls

I tried to quit at least once a month for probably the last 5 yrs I drank (honestly don't remember much about those years so it may have been more or less often) I never lasted more than 5 days unless I was sick or injured though I've now been sober for over 3 yrs. What made the difference for me was I really hit bottom with my last drunk, I don't even remember taking the first drink that day and I ended the day and almost my life by taking an overdose of prescription drugs, I have no memory of anything until 2 days later. It wasn't until my 6th day in the hospital that it finally dawned on me that I really was an alcoholic, the fact that I had and still have absolutely no memory of drinking or feeling suicidal nor of taking the pills scared me enough to finally stop. I continue to have a healthy fear of alcohol and hope and pray that I always do.

Freedom1990

The majority of relapsers I have known over the years either didn't work the steps at all, or stalled out on step 4.

keithj

That matches my experience in working with others. That pattern of chronic relapse is almost always because the person thinks they have some power to control it. It's why that internal surrender is so crucial to recovery.

In the AA world, the problem is summed up in the Dr.'s Opinion, 'restless, irritable, and discontent unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort that follows at once by taking a few drinks.' It describes the pattern of 'succumbing to the desire again, going on a binge, emerging remorseful with a firm resolution to never drink again. This pattern is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change, there is little hope of their recovery.'

Step 1 is fully conceding to our innermost selves that we are alcoholic. That means we are powerless and doomed to pick up that next drink and stay in that relapse pattern. That what Step 1 is all about.

When that desperation hits home, guys get willing to take the Steps instead of making excuses why they can't. Without that desperation and surrender, the Steps are just an academic exercise. Step 1 must come first in my experience.

quote aabb1st

least

I knew I had to stop drinking three years ago. I am coming up on 11 months so you can see I didn't 'get it' right away. I kept trying and failing... But 11 months ago I relapsed for the last time. I finally admitted in my heart and soul that I had no power over alcohol and could never take another drink - ever. I felt so much relief at that admission. At first I was staying sober just being stubborn - I refused to slip back into that deep dark hole I'd dug myself into with drinking. I just stubbornly refused to drink no matter what.

I discovered somewhere around five or six months sober that I no longer wanted to drink, not even when things were bad! I did not work the steps as laid out in AA but I was working on my inner self with the help of my addiction counselor and believe that I was working the steps in a psychological way. At any rate, I've had a complete change of attitude and am happier than I've ever been and no longer believe that I don't 'deserve' a good life. I'm living a good life these days, taking what life brings me, and learning from everything around me. I've never felt better. I am responsible now, not just for my actions, but for my own happiness.

I used to think I was hopeless but not any more!

tacks

Hi hbsocal,

I found that reading the sticky thread, "Quitting..What to expect," has been helpful. I've experienced harsh withdrawal symptoms (harsh to me, at least) which kept getting progressively worse. The stories on the thread remind me of this. The thread puts the negative consequences fresh in my head -- brings a needed sense of awareness to my alkie brain.

good luck to you

tacks

Pumpkin Soup

Tacks, hi. Im being really dense but I cant find that sticky you mention im struggling navigating around this site still. How do I find it I would like to look.

Thanks.

least

Here it is


http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

Kerbcrawler

Thats a spot on verse there Keithj, the reason most people almost always relapse, is because the person thinks they have some power to control it..ie take there foot off the gas become complacent/casual, deluded somewhat you would have to say..forgetting the grip and stranglehold this Alkie mind had over a person..getting through the initial cravings triggers pangs of compulsion to not drink, for most is the first major hurdle..
then well its maintaining absolute vigilance against complacency, and cockiness, casualness, Dreaminess, staying in the reality,i think thats probably why AA people are more focused working together in a group with support on Tap...strength in numbers, as opposed to battling away on your own,trying to stay focused on the most important thing...dont drink whatever you do...or else you,ll end up right back in trouble.near 4 weeks here again, tonite a bit edgy and over serious..though can be expected....though every intention of maintaining my sobriety. no messin this time round.

shaun00

..

its not that i was a chronic relapser ........there was very little time between each bender........and i was an a pain to be around.......

rather not drinking with a sick mind.....

i embarked on a journey which involved engagement in the 12 steps laid out precisely in the book "alcoholics anonymous"....

2 things happened.......i didnt drink again.........and i became comfortable without it.

yeahgr8

Man that relapse BS and denial kept me going back for years....i'd get some sober time and would drink again and some bright spark would say you relapsed...did i hell? I drank again! A relapse would indicate that i have made changes in myself, not just pants, area, gf, car, home, hobby...i mean internal changes and for some reason i have stopped doing what i was doing to maintain that change and slipped back into old behaviour and drank again...

If i never made the significant internal changes how is drinking again a relapse...i just took a break between drinks!

I would 'try' all the various ways to get sober but in hindsight did i want to stop drinking...no...i just wanted the consequences and the pain associated with it to stop...

It was such a relief to get to AA and have this explained to me by my sponsor and then it all started to make more sense and meant that if i was willing and ready i too could get sober and have a life beyond my wildest dreams...you can do the same when you are ready:-)

BP44

Have you ever sat down with another alcoholic with the Big Book open starting with the title page and done EVERYTHING it asks you to do in the first 164 pages? If not, then I would ask you to consider the possibility that you have tried to stay sober on the fellowship alone. Perhaps you haven't had complete first step experience. A thorough first step experience propelled me through the rest of the work. I made the three legacies a must. "very involved in AA" and abandoning myself to it are 2 different things. I had to submit to a way of life other than my own.

Boleo

That match's my experience - somewhat. I thought I had "some power to control it", but that was the delusional thinking I needed 4 to 10 to be released from. You might say I needed God's help to get at the truth.

Somewhere around step 10 I was "restored to sanity" enough to see where I had be delusional. That is why I now say:

There is only one character defect
There has always been only one character defect
There will always be only one character defect

DELUSIONAL THINKING!

Just as the Hindus and Buddhists have been saying for thousands of years.

GreenAces

I was in and out of the program for a looong time and I had many relapses as well. What I have come to realize is that every time I tried to do it on my own self will is when I would relapse. I know I can't do it on my own. I know it's hard but atleast for me I had to turn my life over to a power greater than myself of my own MISunderstanding. I had to stay active in any way possible in the fellowship, and I continue to do so. I don't have too long of sobriety because I came off of a spell of being "dry" which I don't consider any better than drinking. But I would just advise you to stick with the program and get as active as you can, get a home group, do service work, find a sponsor that will take you through the big book, go early to meetings and stay for a while afterwards, and so on.. Thats what is helping me and I hope it can do so for you aswell.