Day Time Drinking
 

Well I guess I'm back to hitting the sauce. I have noticed an unusual pattern to my drinking. I now drink from the moment I wake up until about 6pm & then I stop. I use to drink to sleep and pass out. I'm not sure if I can maintain this drinking pattern. I only drink beer, however, it's between 12-16 bottles. I have had DT's in the past & wish I had some Valium to stop the beer drinking. Valium seems to help me & I like taking it. I'm not sure why docs don't like giving it to me. :( The bartender down the street just told me I'm not welcome anymore at the bar. I'm not sure why because I blackout every time I drink. Anyways, I'm feeling pretty pathetic right now.

no drinking pattern is worth maintaining! and doctors don't like prescribing you valium 'cause you're gonna get addicted to that too! simple. been there, done that.
and whether you've done something bad/embarassing at the bar down the street, the bartender probably wishes you well a.k.a. wishes you'd stop drinking. I wish you the same :)

I was never a fan of using drugs to get off drugs/alcohol.. especially highly addictive benzos.

There's lots of other ways to get and stay sober, if you want to. When you want it bad enough, you'll be willing to try anything, even drug free :)

Well the problem is I really enjoy strong beer. I know there are serious consequences, however, that does not stop me. Jails and institutions became routine for me. At least I know what to expect there.

Hi Anaconda, No, this is not a pattern of drinking that you can maintain, I am sorry. The only pattern of drinking alcohol that you can probably maintain is one that leads the wrong way. I am sending positive thoughts your way.

oh tell me about it... (enjoying strong beer) :) beer was always my number one drink of choice, not very lady like...but addictive. I think most alcoholics turned into such because of beer, it's a very very tricky drink :P not that I can handle the others lol
problem with beer is that it's both delicious and sly in the way that it makes you think you aren't gonna get drunk but will just "relax" instead... aha! this n-e-v-e-r happened.

Beer always made me feel awful...I could never drink more than one or two, despite my trying to. Now wine...I could drink by the gallon....and it was soooo ladylike;-p

The thing is I use to guzzle hard alcohol and use cocaine. I really am not sure if the alcoholism thing is really a disease or just a bad habit. I take a nice brisk walk in the morning to get my cup of coffee and the beer cooler is right next to it. I grab a 6 pack which last me a while and then march back down to grab a coffee refill and another 6pack. The nice clerk even suggested that I lay off the booze a bit. I went to an AA meeting the other night but I felt like they didn't take me seriously because I was intoxicated. :( I was thinking about going back there next week & letting them have it.

I used to use cocaine too...never was a fan of hard booze though! I'd only drink it when I'm out in a club or at some social event... when I was drinking alone, I'd always indulge in beer and/or Martini (bit of a contradiction lol)
just try to last a day without drinking and see what happens. if you feel too bad and have major DTs, you can easily call an ambulance....that's what I did last time it happened to me, which was exactly a week ago. and now I'm terrified of ever having to go through such distress and embarrassment again (the paramedics that came to my flat were more or less my age and quite handsome lol) hence I'm staying sober! one-day-at-a-time
just do it, mate! it's always worth it. or you can look at the threads about safe detox if that would be easier than going into complete abstinence.

Letting them have what? I've seen intoxicated people at meetings and they were welcomed as long as they weren't loud/aggressive or otherwise disrupting the meeting.

I used to drink in the morning too - ugh.:( I knew I was in deep sh!t when I had to substitute wine for my coffee cause the coffee made the shakes so much worse. It was no way to live, actually I wasn't living at all, just existing between bottles of wine.:(

As far as not being able to get valium to help you detox... my doc wouldn't give me benzos either, but the emergency room gave me just enough for two days, just to get thru the initial withdrawal. I was glad not to have any more cause they're so addicting and just as hard to get off of as alcohol. There are other meds that can be given to help with w/d that are not addicting.

I hope you can get help to stop drinking. If you don't it will just get worse, much worse. Please get help to stop.

For a person in true DT's, calling an ambulance won't be an issue. DT's are extremely serious, and not synonymous with withdrawal. Withdrawal from alcohol can be life-threatening and is not a DIY proposition. If you are trying to decide if alcoholism is "really a disease or just a bad habit" you must not have done any research. The issue could not be more clear-cut. As to meeting attendance, have you ever tried to talk sense with a drunk? Try a meeting when sober!

IMO, it doesn't really matter what you call it or how you define it, it sounds like you have a problem with alcohol that would benefit from not drinking ever again. Yup beer is probably better than a vodka/cocaine habit, but still.

Try another AA meeting, maybe sober this time (or close to it) and maybe instead of "letting them have it" listen to what they have to say.

As tsmba points out, DTs are not = alcohol withdrawal. While every alcoholic with have withdrawals of varying degrees, only about 5% of alcoholics go thru the DTs. Of that 5, a large number die. DTs have a fatality rate of up to 35% per occurence if untreated. That's like playing Russian roulette with 2 bullets instead of one.

So if you are having a tough time withdrawing, go to the ER immediately.

Then when sober hit an AA meeting with an open mind.

So... keep doing what you're doing, if you want to.. not that I advocate for it. Let us know if you ever want support in changing that.

The problem is last weeks AA meeting I stumbled into the giant coffee pot. A couple AA'ers thought it was funny. I didn't think it was funny because I burnt myself. I will not detox without benzos. It simply will not happen anymore. The detox is that bad. I feel like a bit of a fraud posting because I'm not even sure I want to stop drinking. yes I'm an alcoholic and drug addict but the addiction has took EVERYTHING from me.

Hi anaconda...I actually understand what you mean by addiction taking everything from you. I thought so too. Do you really want it to take your life too?

There are those that believe that if you don't resolve an issue in this life you have to do it in the next life and it will be even worse...just a little something to ponder which I hope gives you some motivation:-)

If you feel you must have benzos to detox, perhaps a supervised detox would be best. I agree it was unkind of those in the meeting to laugh at you.

I'm guessing this is not your first time on the roundabout, Anaconda....you sound a lot like someone I used to know.

There are some folks - and most of us know at least one - who are so intractable, so bloody-minded, they simply stubborn themselves to death.

I really hope you won't be one of them.
D

lol, same here, however the throwing up after was horrible. Do you really want to live a life with blackouts? Not knowing what happened, getting all jitter when you don't drink, getting withdrawel, DTs? You can still stop it now, turn around and head the right healthy way without booze.....

Welcome back.....:yup:

If you ever get serious about wanteing to live clean and sober
please go to the Salvation Army's free de tox faciltiy.

They also offer free job re training...I'm guessing you might
need to work.

All my best

Thanks CarolId not sure what u mean by welcome back??