artsoul

Have to admit I love(d) drinking, too. But only for the first couple of drinks, which were really to feel "normal" again most of the time. No addict wants to stop - they just want the pain to go away.

But what I discovered after getting sober was that my "love" was a much sicker kind of love than I realized. Like putting up with an abusive lover because you don't want to be lonely and you fantasize that things will change tomorrow somehow. It's not the kind of love that makes us feel good about ourselves (or others) in a deep kind of way.

I'm glad you're here and that you're reaching out for help. We need all the support we can get!:ghug3

FBL

I could've written that initial post. I used to LOVE beer (hence my username), I don't mean just like it, I mean LOVE it. I was drinking 12-18 beers every night for years (almost twice as much on the weekends). I loved everything about getting drunk. The warm glow, the ability to forget all my problems, the ability to totally zone out of life. Even the hangovers got to feel less and less painful after awhile.

Then, something strange started happening. My hands started to shake in the mornings. My sense of smell and taste started fading. I started to get really strange, paranoid thoughts. Then one day, I just started to panic, feeling like I was going to die. That was on Monday, June 22, 2009. I checked myself into the emergency room and made the best decision of my life. I put down the beer for good. I came clean to my friends and family about my alcoholism. I started to examine WHY I was drinking in the first place. Ever since that day it's been an amazing journey of self-discovery. Today I have no desire for alcohol. It's been a lot of hard work and it hasn't always been easy (but it WAS a hell of lot easier than I first feared), but it has saved my life and it can save yours too.

LTrzczka

FormerBeerLover, the drinking experiences you described sure sound a lot like me.

What helps you / keeps you from going back?

FBL

What keeps me from going back is the sheer joy I feel living sober. If you would've told the drunk me a couple of years ago that life would be so much better sober, I probably would've either laughed at you or punched you in the face! All those years of drinking had turned me into a reclusive, bitter, shell of my former self. I never want to become that miserable person again!