viavai

Hi, everyone:

I am eight days sober (again), after a nine-month relapse and 4 years of sobriety. I have put down the drink for good--one day at a time--and am working the steps again (starting with Step 1) with a great new sponsor. I am also going to meetings almost daily. My problem is that I am still struggling with the mental obsession to drink. Truth is, I love to drink, but know that I can't because I am indeed powerless. Any advice on how to better get through the day?

Sudz No More

First, eat a big meal and if you like coffee, drink that to replace it.Just try to keep your mind off it by finding something to do that doesn't involve drinking. Rake the leaves, take a walk etc.

isitpukka

I have given up in the past and found drinking tomato juice incredibly helpful.
I think its to do with keeping blood sugar levels up and it reduces the strong urge for drink.
i did wonder myself when i would stop desiring and thinking about the drink but found after three months i used to get through the days without giving it a thought, so the day does finally come even though we think it never will.
perhaps eating something that is delicious like whatever your weakness is, mine was maltesers, frothy cappuchino coffee, and tomato juice!
not all at once!
Well done, you are doing very very well.
love from is it pukka
xxxx

Kmber2010

Via glad you are back and those first days can be rough. I found switching up my routine and eating lots of healthy snacks (veggies/fruits) and getting out for walks when I thought of drinking really helped.

Having a recovery program in place and getting to meetings is wonderful. Know that it does get better and you never have to go through this again.

Keep it going

SSIL75

I use Rational Recovery's AVRT tool to help with my cravings (basically identifying them as an 'alcoholic voice' and therefore something that is not real/logical/helpful).

TheEnd

I try to get involved in what ever I'm doing and enjoy it. I find if I enjoy wha I'm doing then I don't think about it as much, it's times that I become bored and complacent when I start to get those funny ideas, "just have one it won't hurt".......

Zebra1275

Well, if you had 4 years of soberity I would guess that the mental obsession disappeared during that time. I had over 5 years of soberity and after a couple of months I rarely thought about alcohol.

My not thinking about alcohol for ~ 5 years probably wasn't good, because I also didn't think about all of the bad stuff that happens when I drink. Bottom line, I got complacent and it caused me to drink again thinking I could drink normally. Then I went through a several month period of struggling to stay sober for a few weeks and then binging for a few days and so on.

tomdecel

"My problem is that I am still struggling with the mental obsession to drink"
~~~~~~~~~~~
I also have been on the merry go round the past 10 years. Sober for 6 months, binge for a month. Sober for 7 months, binge for 5 weeks. 20 years ago, when my baby girl was born, I stopped for 7.5 years until I thought I had this thing under control.

I don't want to live the rest of my life with an alcohol addition. I don't want it, I don't need, alcohol is not my friend. My obsession right now is to "stay sober, no matter what."

I make a resolution every night that I am not going to drink the next day no matter what. I reaffirm it in my mind when I go to sleep. When I wake up the next morning I reaffirm again, and again and again all trhu the day.

So far so good for me. I have no desire to drink. Stay positive and obsess on what you really want.

LexieCat

You might want to check out "Living Sober" which has a lot of good suggestions for getting through the days of early sobriety. It's an AA book, if you're not familiar with it, and you can order it through Intergroup.

Working the Steps promises to relieve you of the obsession, but most of us need a little extra help when we are starting out (again).

GreenAces

For me just knowing that just for today and at times just for this moment I am alive and sober.. The big thing at first atleast for me was to try to stay content with whatever was going on at that moment and staying active. If you can make a meeting I'd make a meeting.. If you need to spend all day on this website I'd stay all day on this website.. But like I said atleast for me it was all about staying content for the moment and trying to keep myself busy to keep my mind off of the phenomenon of craving.

viavai

Thank you, all of you, for your responses. I'm not too much up for the tomato juice idea, but so far today, I have kept myself occupied (completing a grad school assignment), talking to my sponsor, and checking in on here. It's already after 3, so I basically just have to make it through the next seven hours, which I know I can. I'm going to take a study break right now and read a memoir that was recommended to me: "Portrait of an Addict as a Young Man." It's reminding me of where I DON"T want to end up.

Also, I do have a copy of "Living Sober." I just need to dust it off and open it. Thank you for the reminder.

Please keep writing. I'm wide open for any and all advice.

LaFemme

Ugh....I hate tomato juice....Blech....lol:-)

I found negative association very helpful in my first weeks and it continues to be effective today (although I only have 3.75 months basically...if a drinking thought arises don't push it away rather focus on it and your worst drinking memory at the same time...this usually makes me gag which pretty much eliminates any desire to drink. If I start to romanticize drinking I also use this tool.

What did you do when you had your 4 years?

viavai

LaFemme,

During the four years that I was sober, I went to meetings regularly, worked with sponsors (though I never got more than halfway through Step 4), went to therapy, held service positions, and shared my ESH when asked to tell my story (lead) at meetings. What happened is that I took this "Counseling Substance Abusers" class (I'm getting my M.A. in Counseling), and this ignorant professor put into my mind that some people who are alcoholic can learn to moderate, and that slips should be "allowed" as part of recovery, because then maybe there wouldn't be so many people who simply quit their recovery programs. (Obviously, at this point I wasn't working a very strong program, and I had also recently quit therapy and I wasn't at that time working with a sponsor due to trust issues, and I allowed myself to be totally vulnerable to this myth--at least for me it's a myth or pipe dream or whatever.) So, really, it was only a matter of time. I had become complacent in my recovery, wasn't making it my priority, and was basically taking everything for granted.

I had to learn the hard way that relapse can and does happen to anyone who abuses alcohol or who has a past history of substance abuse. It's a tough pill to swallow.

I just started back to therapy about 4 weeks ago, and I am rigorously honest with my therapist. Also, I have been going to more meetings, and I'm working with a new sponsor. I hope this New Way of Life" will stick.

TheEnd

I understand that feeling.........I am taking a Treatment of Substance abuse class right now for my PhD. The whole time we are talking about drinking or taking drugs and everybody is making stupid comments and telling stories abobut their experiences. I find that for some reason when I leave I think about drinking or taking a drugs everytime.

cakeeater

I had a different approach and sorta philosophy about it. When a craving would hit me really hard like they often did back then I stopped fighting it. I knew fighting it was no good because I caved so many times. Instead I sat down and started meditating. What I was trying to do was really be in the moment and clear about what I was feeling when I felt like I had to have one. By letting all the talk in my head stop I no longer could feed into the craving or give myself any ideas or justifications to drink. It was just me, the monkey on my back, my pain, no judgments, no plans, no nothing. I couldn't fight that war in my head I'd lost so many times before. That just wasn't in me anymore. It helped me through because I learned to accept the craving and to allow it to pass over leaving me still standing. After a few months I realized I didn't need to do anything at all anymore. I simply didn't drink.

/taking myself too seriously

CarolD

cakeeater....
Welcome back to SR

viavai

Thank you, cakeeater. That's really good advice, especially because I need to re-learn how to feel my feelings (which seems an intolerable concept, but one on which I am working).

@TheEnd: Congratulations on getting your PhD! That's terrific. Yes, please don't listen to any of those ignorant comments about alcoholism and addiction. Those people do NOT know what they are talking about, simply blowing smoke. When you "think about" that urge to drink/drug after class, just think about how far you've come and all the impressive work you are doing (both academically and emotionally). You will continue to grow and make great strides, I'm sure of it.