Sudz No More

Was there a time in your attempts at sobriety that you realized you had raised the white flag?

I think mine may be up and signaling defeat. I just don't seem to think about drinking with the same fondness as I used to. Yeah, I am wary and don't trust myself for one second because tomorrow I'll be on here saying how I had a few. I've got no plans for that though and it just feels different somehow as I go further and further. Even with the few missteps I've had I am approaching a year since I began my quest to live a sober life. The daily damage I did to myself for all those years is far away. I just shrug off any lingering thoughts these days without much of a fight from the alter ego.

My last hurdle is still the stress days which I am sure I will have again. How will I react? I'll just look over at the flag as the enemy approaches and remind myself that it's over.

Boleo

The "recovery process" seems to always consist of some kind of struggle followed by surrender. However, the surrender must come at just the right time, in just the right way. An easy way to remember this process is;

Give in.
Give up.
Give to (others).

Kadybug

Hey Sudz -
Yes, absolutely I have had that White Flag moment. I had been in jail for a DUI and when I got home, I got drunk. I went for a walk - no driving this time - and fell on the ice, breaking my leg and my arm. That was IT for me. I was fully and completely defeated.

And, I've had days when "just one won't hurt" occurred to me ... but after some time in prison (as a result of the aforementioned DUI, which was a probation violation for something else completely), I'm finally home again and that White Flag is really a good thing! Thank you for bringing this up!

Spirit08

Yep. Every day. haha

AlcoholicOrNot

SNM,

Yes, I am definitely gaining more confidence the longer I abstain.

Although, I somehow cannot convince myself that I've got this licked. Why?

I continually remind myself how well I'm doing and then thoughts pop into my head like this:

1. See, you were never truly an alcoholic, you've beat this and now you can go back to "controlled drinking";
2. My friends are controlling their drinking, and look at you, you've abstained for how many days now? Join them for just one...

I know these are harmful thoughts and like you said, I just shrug them off relatively easily.

I'm much better off and I cannot see myself drinking. It appears to me that abstinence is not a race with a finish line but more like a never-ending marathon where each day is a milestone.

viavai

Thank you for this post. I am franctically looking around for my white flag so that I can wave it. I am newly sober again, but I am definitely white-knuckling it. Still have the cravings, but I make a decision each day--one day at a time--not to drink. I am starting the steps all over again with a fresh attitude (and some fear), but meditation, meetings, and coming here to SR (even just to lurk) help me as I trudge the road to happy destiny. I already feel vast improvements in my self-esteem and self-concept (based in humility) now that I am no longer drinking. My hope is that the more and more days I accummulate, the more the cravings and obsession will decrease. Thanks for reading!

Kmber2010

Sudz, definitely it was the day I quit drinking. I had it physically, emotionally and realized that I was willing to fight and do whatever was necessary to get myself completely alcohol free. I was just disgusted with myself to the point that I knew I couldn't control the drinking and more importantly I wanted to be free of it.

I am so grateful to be sober.

Zencat

Yes indeed . There finally came a day when I decided that drugs were no longer working for me. It was time to quit letting drugs run my life into the ground and regain the ability to direct my life in a positive direction. I remember how relieved I was when the weight of addiction finally was lifted. That is when I started to practice a comprehensive addiction treatment program.

Liberation from the chains of alcohol addiction was a truly beautiful moment of knowing what freedom was really about .

skg

The third stanza of the full Serenity Prayer says something to the effect that if I surrender to God's Will for me and my designed state I can expect to be reasonably happy in this world. I've made every effort to achieve happiness on my own and it bought me a seat in AA. I ask to be willing to be willing before my feet hit the floor every morning. I've tried all the other ways...

SSIL75

I started to raise mine a few months ago and just in the past few months have begun to fly it with more confidence. It was a definite turning point for me. Complete surrender. Realizing that I can never drink again without harm. It's not even that I think if I have one drink I'll end up 3 days later in a dumpster or anything. I just know that I will not feel satisfied until I have about 6. And after that number I feel depressed, anxious etc.

so, no more for me.

instant

Total and unconditional surrender is the way forward. I have found that my ability to handle "stress" is much improved by a significant order of magnitude.

Alcohol corrupts and highjacks our stress responses.

NYCDoglvr

I came within a hare's breath of dying from alcohol, walked into AA and said "I give up". Tell me what to do because my best thinking sucks. It's the only time I tried to quit drinking and that was 20 years ago.

Over the years I've seen most people in early sobriety drink because they're going to do it their way. Go to bars to hang out with friends, early relationships, whatever. It takes complete honesty to stay sober and giving up the grandiosity and enormous ego's we all have.